One strong hand raked firmly through silver hair that glinted faintly in the moonlit room. The other cradled him protectively in a warm embrace, making him feel safe. His body sated and his mind free of worry for the first time in over 10 years. He had never felt more at home.

There was movement behind him as the hands stopped caressing, leaving his body feeling cold as the mattress dipped and his bedmate slipped from sight. He shivered, a sense of foreboding washing over him as abruptly as the cold night air.

After a few minutes on his own he moved out from under the covers, wanting to follow the warmth that was his friend. He approached the living room silently. He wasn't really sneaking on purpose. Spending nearly his whole life as a Shinobi had made him naturally light-footed. He tended to always be silent, unless he wanted himself to be heard.

He thought back to the days before, when he had finally pulled the plug on his relationship. He had dragged his feet purposefully along the long hall that lead to the apartment door, hoping that Tenzou would hear him. He had needed to be heard. To be grounded before his willpower lost out and he flung himself off the balcony.

Small sounds pulled him back to reality as he pushing himself up against the wall. The bedroom lead directly in to the combined living room and kitchenette. He wouldn't have a chance to hide if he left the bedroom, so instead he opted to press against the wall next to the door. He tilted his head slowly, looking out in to the darkness of the other room.

Tenzou sat cross legged on the small window seat next to the kitchenette. He was looking out over the city, the nice view obstructed by other large buildings and the neon lights leading to all night liquor stores or the open late adult bookshops that accompanied the type of neighbourhood he lived in.

Kakashi could see the glint of tears reflecting off his cheeks. He rubbed at them, sniffing softly as he brushed hair out of his face. He exhaled shakily before returning his stare out the window. Kakashi felt his chest tighten. He wasn't sure what to do. Tenzou had obviously slipped away for privacy and he wanted to let him have it.

He stepped away from the wall, moving back towards the bed. He snuggled in to the covers, wondering if he had made the right decision. When he had been crying that night, Tenzou had brought him in to his bed, petted his back and told him everything would be fine.

But that was different. He knew why I was upset… If I go out there now, he might be embarrassed. He might want me to leave… I should just wait for him to come back. If he comes back…

He stared at the wall, trying to muster the courage to go to his friend's side. But the rational, logical part of his brain was telling him loudly it was a bad idea. He should just stay…

What if he wants me to go to him? What if he's hoping I'll go and he's sad when I don't? This is what he means when he says he wants me to give him everything… But I already told him I can't… I can't give him everything he needs. But I can go to him… Wait no… He said he didn't care. But he does. I know he was lying…

He growled in frustration, pulling at his hair hard, eyes shut tight as he grappled with his split reasoning. He couldn't make up his mind but he needed to quickly. If he waited too long he could lose everything.

The bed dipped under him once more and his breath caught in his throat as a warm hand encircled his, pulling it away from his scalp. It was kissed lightly before it was brought down to rest on his waist. The warm hand leaving his and snaking down his stomach to hold him possessively once more. Kakashi's breathing was shallow. Tenzou didn't know he had been watching. He was reacting as if the mental turmoil he was experiencing was a simple nightmare. He probably thought he had walked back in at just the right time.

He probably thinks I'm comforted. That I am as relaxed and carefree as I was mere minutes ago. He doesn't realise anything has changed…

OoOoOoOo

Iruka rolled his eyes for what had to be the fiftieth time as one of his students asked him a question that he had already answered earlier for another student. He repeated his answer, warning that he would not repeat himself again so they had better be listening.

The room was silent as he reiterated the importance of paying attention.

Only 5 more minutes...

He thought anxiously as he sat back down at his desk, eyeing the clock hopefully. He sighed, leaning back in his chair. He still had a shift in the mission's office to get through before his day was over.

The bell finally rang and he jumped from his chair suddenly, ushering the children from the room even before some of them had collected all their things.

"You'll be back here tomorrow." He assured them. He was itching to get home today, although he wasn't sure why. His apartment was sad and half empty.

I should probably move my stuff out so Kakashi can move back in…

He mused as he made his way to the mission's office.

It was 'his' place before it was 'ours'… I fucked everything. I guess it's only fair I'm the one to leave.

He entered the building realising only as he did so that he was early for his shift. He slowed his pace, not really fancying the idea of doing extra, unpaid work while someone else got to go home early.

But what the hell. It's not like I have anything to go home for anyway… Besides a hot cup of tea. The person I relieve probably has a family.

He thought to himself as he slid the door in front of him opened.

Fifty one…

He thought to himself as his eye's involuntarily shot upwards at the sight in front of him. The long exaggerated roll, missed by the couple in his line of sight.

"Could you not?" He asked in exasperation as he slid in behind the empty desk. It looked like whoever he was here to dismiss had left early on their own accord.

"Stop being so sour." Genma panted as he nibbled on his partner's lip. He groaned in response, pressing himself closer to the other man who was perched on the edge of his own desk.

Iruka wondered absently if every Shinobi in Konoha was gay.

"He has a reason to be sour." Raidou reasoned, pulling his lips away but letting his hands continue their free roaming.

"Oh that's right… Kakashi's new fuck buddy." The Special Jonin answered in a slow drawl. Feigning he had forgotten the information he was practically giddy about spilling.

Iruka looked up for his paper work, his eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his heart sinking at the mention of the Copy Ninja's name.

Genma slipped off the desk and walked towards the Chunin. He rested his palms on the man's desk, leaning close so he could watch the reaction.

"Tenzou." He answered casually. "He's definitely fucking Kakashi."

Iruka's brow twitched slightly, the only evidence he gave of his barely contained murderous rage as he stared in to his friend's unwavering eyes and smiled.

"So?" He asked casually.

"So…" Raidou repeated, moving closer. "So you told us you broke up. But we had no idea why… until now."

Genma nodded, his face suddenly turning serious. He had had his fun. The joke was over. He placed a solid hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Seriously though… We're here for you…" He said softly. "If you need someone."

Iruka nodded his thanks, feeling the anger start to calm after witnessing the gesture. His heart felt warm and fuzzy. After everything he had done… He still had friends.

OoOoOoOo

Kakashi felt as though all eyes were on him as he slowly made his way to the hospital for his first weekly check-up. He had never really paid much attention to people around him, always having his face stuck in a porn novel to dissuade people from approaching him.

He stopped briefly to check the price on his favourite vegetable. It's not that he couldn't afford it normally. It's that a lot of his money is hidden in his old apartment and he was yet to retrieve it. He had confidence Iruka wouldn't find it. But on the off chance they would get back together in the future, he didn't want him knowing where he hid things like that. So he had forgone digging it out that night he had taken most of his small possessions with him.

Sniggering behind him caught his attention. He wasn't usually one to participate is gossip, but he felt like today the world was against him and he could use a good laugh at someone else's expense. Turning slowly he was surprised to see a young couple he vaguely recognised. Perhaps Iruka's colleagues? Their heads snapping away from him abruptly as they both began to pick up random objects much like he suspected Tenzou had done days before.

He realised suddenly that he was the bud of the joke. Feeling self-conscious he put the eggplant he was carrying down and slipped from the store. He would go back later when there were fewer people. Or perhaps, he decided as he entered the hospital; it was a sign. He didn't deserve the eggplant this week anyway.

The wait to see Tsunade felt like the wait to get in to hell. No one really wanted to be there, but they all knew they deserved it for one reason or another.

Kakashi had come to learn over the years that there were only 2 types of emotions people held towards him. They were either frightened, or enamoured. The latter was rare, but that was fine. Until his breakdown he didn't realise how much the absence of love in his life had affected him.

But the way these people were staring at him today. It was clear they held no fear in their hearts where he was concerned. People that feared something rarely looked in to its eyes and glared. The hate radiating from everyone around him was suffocating. His earlier thoughts about the world being against him returning. He closed his eye to try and block it out. The futile gesture just served to heighten his other senses. Sneering and small whispers sounding like they were being shouted.

"Come here brat." Tsunade's voice cut through the animosity like a knife as she took him by the arm. She led him away from the loathing, to a small exam room not far away from the waiting room. She closed the door behind them, locking it as she directed him to sit on an examination table. "How are you feeling?" She asked as she moved Chakra infused palms over his tight chest. He found himself relaxing, the warmth from her hands causing him to shudder involuntarily.

"Better." He answered honestly, ignoring the seeds of doubt sprouting in the back of his mind.

"Your heart is finally starting to get stronger. But I'm worried if I don't keep you off work that you'll strain yourself. If you were anyone else I'd order you to light duties but I know you too well Kakashi. You'd either injure yourself being reckless or someone will say something stupid and cause you to relapse. I think it's better I keep to my earlier words and keep you in Tenzou's care until you are completely healed. I already let you out of the hospital before I said I would. Light duties is definitely pushing it." She smiled, a slight hint of humour in her voice.

He nodded slowly, staring across the room, waiting for this to be over with so he could leave and go home to Tenzou. Asuma had asked him to help with something this afternoon. He had refused at first, saying he was supposed to stay home. But Kakashi had told him it was fine and he should go.

He was probably bored shitless sitting around the house with me anyway…

He thought bitterly. He had said it was fine for him to go. But a very small part of him was jealous. It was his mission after all to look after the Copy Ninja. He should have refused more profusely. He should have wanted to spend extra time with him. Kakashi found himself missing his friend ridiculously. He knew he had no right to be jealous and even if he did, there was nothing to be jealous of. But that didn't stop his genius mind from wandering in to the dark recesses of his brain and pulling out all sorts of horrible scenarios, all ending with him back in the hospital or dead from his stupid broken heart.

"Well I think you're recovering well. Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about before you go?" Tsunade asked, having finished her poking and prodding of various orifices while he was lost in thought. He shook his head, not wanting to let on that anything was bothering him lest she cut him off from everyone completely. If she found out that Tenzou was causing him despair she would most certainly not let him stay with him anymore.

She waved him goodbye, ordering him to return the same time next week for a revaluation. He agreed, shoving his hands in his pockets and slouching slightly as he began his long trek back through the waiting room.

"Kakashi?" A voice behind him piped up. Time around him slowed down as he debated whether or not to answer. He could easily keep walking, pretend like he hadn't heard. But that was no good. Anko was nothing if not persistent.

He turned, raising a hand in greeting, visible eye crinkling a smile.

"Yo." He said simply, standing still, waiting for her to get to the point. She wasn't the type of person to beat around the bush. If she wanted to know how he was she would ask. There was no reason to deny he was ill.

"That was a shitty thing you did." She said bluntly, stopping a few inches in front of his face, her arms crossed in a huff.

"What?" He asked, eye snapping opened.

"Iruka really liked you." She continued, a finger mere millimetres from his face pointing at him accusingly. "I can't believe you would hurt him like that." She stated, her voice rising. "I mean honestly."

"What… what are you?" Kakashi started to ask. He trailed off as murmurs of agreeance chorused around the room. He tore his face from Anko's, looking at the people sitting around him, angry glares all directed at him. His heart sped up, his knees felt weak.

"I never pegged you as a cheater." Anko added somewhat casually as Kakashi brought his hand to his face. He never heard the rest of her lecture, forming a sign and disappearing in a puff of smoke before everyone's eyes.

OoOoOoOo

Finally…

Iruka thought to himself, sagging down on to his comfy sofa with a cup of steamy tea in hand. He breathed in deep, the calming scent of the drink soothing him.

I was wrong. This was worth the shitty day.

He smiled to himself as he took a quick sip. His eyes closed as he leaned back, his muscles relaxing in to the chair behind him.

He opened his eyes, scolding his hand as he jumped in fright.

"You!" An enraged Copy Ninja shouted, hands on hips, face inches from his and smoke swirling around him.

Iruka gaped, terror flashed through his eyes.

Oh fuck…