Tears In Heaven
Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed; I have finished the story and I hope it's to your liking. Though there are parts of this story I don't like as much, most of it is pretty nice. Thanks again for reading.
Luke moved out of town after it happened. He moved in with his sister and nephew in New York, and he didn't leave the couch for weeks. Jess, barely eleven, tried to engage his uncle, this guy he'd always begrudgingly enjoyed every time they'd gotten together. Luke wouldn't talk to him, and even yelled at him a few times. Luke always felt a little bad when he saw the hurt look on Jess's face, but it passed quickly when he remembered why he was even in New York in the first place, and self pity quickly took the place of any guilt he could feel.
Lorelai sunk into a deep depression as well, much deeper than before. She didn't get out of bed for almost three months. Her mother moved in, becoming her only source of food. Emily spent most of her time sitting in an armchair next to Lorelai's bed, watching as her daughter slept fitfully. Richard visited once or twice, but couldn't take it, and threw himself into his work back in Hartford. Other members of the town came by every once in a while, at first, but after a few weeks the trickle of people dried up completely, and it's just Lorelai and her mother.
One morning, Lorelai woke up, and she actually felt kind of okay. She sat up and felt warm, so she moved her legs from under the covers and set her feet on the floor. She stood up, and stretched, and headed to the bathroom to run a shower. When the water was running, she pulled the door closed behind her so she didn't disturb her mother as she headed for her dresser and looked for clean clothes. She got out a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and underwear.
Before long she was singing, "Walking Down Your Street" by the Bangles at the top of her lungs.
----
When they got to Lorelai's house, Jess forged forward while Rory hung back. She still felt uncomfortable in this house, where she had been dead for 12 years. Everything was different, and the only place Rory felt comfortable was her room.
Jess had wandered ahead, and now looped back into the foyer to find Rory.
"Come on," he said. "We can't stay by the door all day. Which way's your room?" He glanced back toward the living room, and the stairs. She shook her head and pointed towards the kitchen. He nodded, grabbed her hand, and led her away.
When he opened her bedroom door, there was a sewing room tucked behind it, complete with a dressmaker dummy, a large sewing machine, and yards of fabric. Jess looked at her with one cocked eyebrow. She reached past him and pulled the door closed. Then, she twisted the knob and pushed it open; her room appeared.
He nodded appreciatively. "Neat trick," he said, pulling her into the room behind him.
She sat on her bed facing him, watching as he looked around her room. She was distinctly reminded of when Dean had done the same thing, appraising her by the things that she owned. She was a little surprised to realize that she was just as nervous for Jess's approval as she had been for Dean's.
Jess stood next to her bookcase, trying to feign disinterest, but when she looked closer, she watched as his eyes lit up as he scanned the titles. He pulled a book from the shelf and reached for something in his pocket. Finding it empty, he looked at Rory.
"Got a pen?"
Now it was her turn to cock an eyebrow. "Are you kidding?" she asked. "I don't even break my books' bindings anymore. I'm not letting you write anything in them." She stood and pulled the book from his hands, and glanced at the title. "Especially this." She reshelved it and sat back on the bed, leaning back on her elbows. She smiled at him, daring him to try something.
He left the books where they were and settled next to her. He stared at her for a moment, and then leaned into her, lowering his lips over hers. The kiss was slow, much different from what they'd done in Luke's apartment. When he let her go, she smiled at him.
"We'll just have to find something else to do, I guess."
----
When she climbed into the Jeep, she brought her Bangles tapes, especially "Different Light". She sang along the entire way, at the top of her lungs. It made her feel better, though a little sad--she used to sing these to Rory, way back when.
When she heard "If She Knew What She Wants", she almost had to stop the car she started crying so much. She hoped, hoped against hope, that she wasn't too late, that he'd still take her back. That he'd give her what she needs, what she wants.
She found a phone booth and called 411 as soon as she got into the city. She asked for Elizabeth Danes, and to her surprise, there were only 4. She obediently copied down all the numbers, thanked her operator, and started calling.
On her third call, Liz answered the phone. Lorelai recognized her voice from all the times she'd called Luke. She hurriedly spilled her story and asked for Liz's address, and that she please not tell Luke. After a minute's hesitation, Liz obliged.
----
Though they'd started out semi-horizontally, when they got completely horizontal, Rory placed both of her hands on Jess's chest and pushed softly.
"Too fast," she said, sitting up.
"Oh." Jess groaned and fell on his back on her bed.
"Sorry," she said, leaning over him and touching his chest gently with one hand. "I just wasn't comfortable."
"Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered. She waited patiently to see what he was going to do, and he merely sat up.
"Got any books I can write in?"
She thought for a second, and then got up to look under her bed. She pulled out a milk crate full of books and pushed them ever so slightly towards Jess. Then she stood, headed for her desk, and pulled out a pen. She handed it to him and said, "Go to town."
He nodded and headed for the living room. She pulled a book from the milk crate and headed after him.
----
Lorelai sat on the stairs outside a modest brownstone in Greenwich Village, waiting for the courage to buzz up or for someone to walk out, whichever came first. After about twenty minutes, a boy with dark brown hair and equally dark eyes walked out, looking for someone.
"Hey," he said, when he spotted Lorelai. "Are you Luke's girlfriend?" When she nodded, he added, "Please tell me you're here to take him away."
"Hopefully," she said, standing.
"Good," the boy said, leading Lorelai into the building. "He's been a permanent fixture on our couch for way too long. He just lays there and doesn't move, even when people come over. It doesn't matter that it's the first thing you see when you walk in the door. He's scared all my friends."
"Oh. I'm sorry. He's just having a tough time."
"I know," the boy said, turning to face Lorelai as they stood waiting for the elevator. His face was filled with sadness and understanding and it threw Lorelai for a minute, the amount of emotion on the face of this boy who couldn't be more than ten. "I wanted to go to the funeral, for Uncle Luke, but Mom was...busy that weekend."
Lorelai couldn't say anything; she merely nodded.
"Sorry," the boy said very quietly, turning to face the elevator as it rumbled to a stop in front of them. Lorelai was suddenly hit with the realization that this was Jess, Luke's nephew. She'd never met him, but Luke had told her stories, had raved about the intelligence the boy had. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized it before.
As they walked into the elevator, Lorelai reached over and wrapped Jess in a hug.
"Thanks for trying," she said as she let him go, quickly wiping her eyes.
"Sure," Jess said, not looking at his crazy uncle's crazy girlfriend.
----
Jess read fast--much faster than even Rory, who had always prided herself on her ability to read quickly and still retain everything. He made notes, too--tiny little notes in the margins, thoughts on the story at the time, the book as a whole, his feelings on the author. They were very insightful, and when he let Rory read them later, she responded verbally to them, and they started a heated literary discussion.
That's how Luke and Lorelai found them later, sitting at the kitchen table practically yelling at each other. When the adults interrupt them, however, the teenagers each have wide grins. Lorelai decided to ignore the lascivious grin this horndog teenage boy had while staring at her daughter, and the strange almost family sat down to eat.
----
When Jess opened the door to the apartment and Luke saw Lorelai, he started crying. She made it to the couch in two strides and kneeled next to it, crying. She looked up at him and just said, "Please come home."
"I'm sorry," he said, and she shook her head and crawled into his lap. They were holding each other and comforting each other and she said, "It's my fault."
"I should have taken you to the hospital."
"I shouldn't have pushed you away."
"I shouldn't have proposed."
She paused, and then couldn't help but nod, starting to cry harder. "I can't get married," she said, "and I can't have a baby."
He nodded, kissing her hair.
"But I want you to come home."
He nodded again, and she kissed the side of his mouth, tasting their tears mixed together.
----
Rory suggested a movie night after dinner, and everyone agreed. Lorelai tried to sit between Rory and Jess, but Luke protested, so Lorelai had to be content just glaring at him the rest of the night.
The night kept getting longer and longer, and though Luke faded at around one and Jess faded a half an hour after that, Rory and Lorelai stayed up, laughing and talking and making fun. Rory got up sometime around three to head for the bathroom, and Lorelai paused the movie, waiting for her daughter to come back. She liked this girl, and felt a pang of sadness that she couldn't have had the years with this girl she felt she was entitled to.
After ten minutes, Lorelai started to get a little worried, and she stood and headed for the bathroom. The door was closed, the light was on, but no one answered when she knocked.
"Rory?" she called a few times, before finally turning the knob and walking in. "Rory?" No one was there.
Sensing the worst, Lorelai sprinted towards the sewing room, which was a sewing room again. Starting to cry, she went back through the living room and up the stairs, screaming Rory's name. She tore through her room and the baby room, and only stopped yelling when Luke turned her around and pulled her towards his chest, where she collapsed, crying.
----
When Rory left the bathroom, she passed a picture of herself at eight in a Halloween costume. Normally this wouldn't be quite a big deal, but she was supposed to be dead, so it kinda surprised her. She returned to the living room to find her mother, her real life mother, sprawled on the couch, snoring loudly. No Jess. No Luke. Just real Lorelai.
Rory threw herself on top of Lorelai, crying with happiness.
"Whoa, whoa, what's wrong, honey?" Lorelai asked, coming to and hugging Rory.
"Nothing. Everything's fine," Rory said, pulling away and wiping a hand under her nose. "I just love you a lot, I guess."
"I love you too, babe. But why are you crying?"
"I had a really terrible dream. I had been dead for 12 years and everything was different and weird and I just missed you!"
"Wow. Sounds crazy. You're gonna have to explain this dream to me."
"Okay. It all started when I woke up and found a half naked Luke in the kitchen."
----
Luke didn't know what Lorelai was babbling about; for a minute he was worried that she'd finally suffered a real mental breakdown and he was going to have to have her committed. She blubbered about how 16-year-old Rory had shown up and she'd been fine and Lorelai had fooled herself into thinking that it had all been real, instead of a cruel dream.
"She was really pretty, Luke. She had my eyes."
"I know," Luke said sadly, kissing Lorelai's forehead. The baby's deathday was in November; he worried that he'd have to console Lorelai talking about her seven year old son then.
"Hey, Luke?" Lorelai asked, glancing up at him.
"Hmm?"
"Do you think we could invite your nephew to come live with us?"
He thought for a minute. "I suppose," he said, slowly. "Would I move in here permanently, then?"
She nodded, and hugged him tighter.
"What brought that on?" he asked. "Asking Jess to come here, I mean."
"I don't know," she said. "I just think it might be nice for him. And us too. Someone else to take care of."
"Yeah. Maybe that might be nice." He smiled when she did.
----
The next time she saw Luke, she asked, "Hey, how come your nephew never visits?"
Luke paused before pouring Rory's coffee. "I don't know," he said after a minute. "I don't really talk to my sister on a regular basis. I used to be kind of close to Jess, though. He's a reader, like you. You'd probably like him."
Rory nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "It might be nice to meet him one day."
"Yeah," Luke said. "Maybe I should call my sister," he muttered on the way off.