Chapter 5

"It's just this week. I can get the money together by next Friday but another…" The woman on the other end of the phone cut off Loki. He gritted his teeth and waited patiently as she repeated herself. He shifted on the old bed and adjusted the ice in the towel pressed against his hand.

"I understand that. Really I do but I've been consistent for the past 18 months…"

"No, no."

"Please just hear me out. She was hospitalized last week and I couldn't…"

"Look it's just a set back. I can get you the money minus and the late fee if you just don't raise…"

Loki pressed the ice harder against his bruised wrist. The phone dug into his ear and shoulder while the woman's voice buzzed on over the poor connection. The garbled high-pitched sounds of the speakers added to the pounding in his head but he reminded himself to stay calm. If he didn't he would say something wrong, he would lose control and the payments would go up, the money wouldn't be enough… He gripped the ice in the towel.

"Yes I can hold." He told the woman. While the bad music played in his ear and his head redoubled its efforts to split open he looked down at his wrist. Holding it up he could make out the fingers of Jonny's newest thug where they had dug deep into his skin. The slight creak of rusty hinges made him look up and he saw Emily peering through the crack of his door where the wood and frame had swollen and no longer fit together.

Her blue eyes met his through the crack and then she disappeared in a flash of pale bald skin and the swish of her pink tutu.

Loki opened his mouth to call after her, tell her everything was all right but the line picked up again.

"Yes… no, I'm her husband Luke Larson... Yes that's the case. If there's anything you can do—"

The new man's voice was bored and low, rumbling in the speakers of the cheep phone.

"I see, Yes…Thank you for your time."

The line went dead against his ear but Loki couldn't move. He lifted his head and let the device fall into his lap, then slide off onto the bed. He took a deep shuddering breath and tried to ignore the nagging doubt in his mind. He tried to tell himself it would be alright. He tried to ignore the empty clenched feeling of his stomach and the ache in his arm where it had been pulled. He tried not to think about the call from the school nurse he'd gotten earlier that day to say Emily was asleep in her office again and the thinly veiled disapproval in her voice.

The toilet flushed in the other room and Loki lifted his head. He heard Emily's pattering feet and then her door slam. He flinched at the loud noise.

Loki forced himself to his feet. He discarded the ice in the kitchen sink as a lost cause and went to look for painkillers in the small tarnished mirror over the bathroom sink. Instead he found Christie. The treasured doll was in the white nurse's dress with grape jelly stains on the back and her head was stuffed down the curved drain of the toilet so her dark legs were nearly straight up and the dress swished around as the bowl refilled with water. Loki groaned and pulled the sad doll out of the toilet revealing the head of scraggly cut hair poking out just a few centimeters from each hole in her plastic head.

Carefully Loki went to the tub and turned on the hot water, washing the Barbie clean as he could and dousing her in disinfectant before washing again. Finally he wrapped her in a towel and slowly approached Emily's door.

He knocked lightly.

A faint murmur responded from behind the wood. He pushed it open slowly and peered into the dim room lit by Emily's pink night light. Emily was curled up in her tutu on the bedspread. Clothes were laid all round her and spilled out across the floor, hers and Christies. Her collection of second hand hats were all in a pile in front of the door at Loki's feet and he picked up a blue one with butterflies as he passed. He cleared a section of the comforter to sit by Emily's head and eased onto the bed. She didn't get up, barely even looked at him, even when he ran a hand over her scalp gently, feeling the heat of her life on his skin.

"Emie min?"

"Mmhmm," She mumbled.

"Why was Christie in the toilet?" He put the doll, still wet, wrapped in a towel beside Emily. With his hands free he lifted her head so he could tug on the blue hat and pulled it down around her ears. Emily fought him weakly and half heartedly.

"Emie? Answer me." He said taking her face between his hands gently and forcing her to face him even if she refused to meet his eyes.

"Christie got cancer and had to cut her hair and now I'm mad at her," The little girl said and her bottom lip trembled. Loki's breath caught as he watched. His own hands started to shake and the world before him blurred. This was what she thought. She thought he was mad at her for something she couldn't control, because her world was full of disease and danger and human bodies were so frail and their lives so fleeting. She thought he was mad at her because the capitalist system was bleeding him dry and working him dead, because there was no place for someone without connections, education, or history. All of their poverty and pain was weighing down her thin shuddering shoulders.

"No, no," Loki lifted his daughter into his lap, held her close and pressed kisses to her forehead. "No, Emie min. No. Cancer doesn't… it's… it's not something you control. It's not fair and it's not… it's not anyone's fault. I'm not mad at you Elskan, never at you." Emily sniffed and sobbed and Loki felt tears on his own cheeks.

"I'm not mad at you either," She whispered, "I love you, daddy."

"And I love you." Loki breathed the words against the fabric of her hat and shook with the silent sobs that wracked his body. He held Emily tightly, feeling her bones digging into his arms and chest. He had failed her, failed to keep the burdens off her back before they crushed her into sobs and tears. He'd failed to provide for her, to keep her healthy enough to fight. He couldn't even make her smile anymore because every time he looked at her he saw everything he needed to do and was failing to do.

"It'll be ok, Daddy," She whispered. "Just like you always say. It'll be ok."

Her words were heavier than Thor's hammer had ever been on his chest, pinning him where he sat. Loki forced himself to take a deep breath and willed his tears away with strength he didn't know he had left. He forced down his sobs and reluctantly let his daughter go, pulling back to look at her while schooling his expression into one of confidence.

"Yes it will," he said. "Now I think it's a little past your bed time."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"I—yes. I guess so."

The corners of her lips pulled up and her lips tightened in a ghost of her once bright and innocent smile. She climbed off to gather her pillow and pull the blanket off her bed, dumping her clothes everywhere. She grabbed Christie still wrapped in her towel. Loki wheeled the oxygen tank behind him as they walked to his room. Over the squeaking of the wheels he heard Emily whisper to her doll, "Don't worry. You'll get better and daddy and I will look after you so you don't have to be scared."

Loki bit his lip and held himself together. He had to because he couldn't let Emily see him broken, he couldn't let her comfort him because she was the one who should be scared, she was the one slowly dying. And there was nothing he could do about it. With all the money in the world he could not save the last person in all realms that mattered to him. And he had failed her.

.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. It was so painfully familiar that be blocked it out. The rush of air in the vents, the smells of chemicals and fake flowers, the gray tan tiles of the floor, the speckled cream walls, were all painfully familiar. Loki sighed and put his head in his hands. His stomach was aching and his head throbbed dully as it had all day. He knew his hair was greasy and his clothes were mismatched and dirty but until a few minutes ago he hadn't cared. Emily was finally in a peaceful sleep. Her oxygen levels were holding steady for the first time that day and she wasn't tense with pain. Looking at her drowning in the large white hospital bed she looked even smaller and frailer than normal.

It had started as just a little coughing that morning. Getting rapidly worse as he tried to coax her into getting dressed for school. Then she'd stopped breathing. Everything afterward was a blur of the car and the ER room the roads and the nurses. He remembered pacing, lots of pacing. There were papers to sign and lies to tell, so many lies and falsified phone conversations all the while wondering if he would say something wrong in haste, make them stop and double check. If they found he had no claim to her, Sharon was dead and he didn't exist, they would take his daughter away. So he paced and he lied and he ran his hand through his hair all day without noticing how much he needed a shower. Now the lights were dim, the city was in twilight before the streetlamps became glaring beacons and the few city stars came out. Emily's monitors kept time and he finally breathed easy.

The door behind Loki slid open.

"Mr. Larson, Dr. Jameson wants to speak to you," A nurse said just loud enough for him to hear. He nodded with what he hoped was a grateful expression for the man's consideration of Emily. Loki pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead before walking out into the brighter hallway. There standing against wall as if he owned the place was Tony Stark. He handed the nurse a twenty before the orderly scampered off.

"Tony," Loki breathed the name as his mind struggled to figure out why the billionaire was there.

"It's Wednesday." Tony said. Loki felt the words like a sledge hammer to the chest. He'd been so wrapped up in Emily he'd forgotten everything else in his life.

"I-I'm—"

"Forget it," Tony waved his hand casually and stood up, walking over to the window that looked into Emily's room. "You look like shit."

"I-I didn't have time to change."

"Don't blame you." Tony shrugged and looked at his own reflection in the glass. He reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a flask. With a furtive glance up and down the hall he took a swig and then offered it to Loki.

"No, I—"

"Need it." Tony said bluntly. Loki took the flask and drank, feeling the burn down his throat to his empty stomach; he didn't dare drink more.

"I talked to the kid's doctor."

"You what?"

"Dr. Jameson, I talked to him." Tony repeated and glanced at Loki's confused and outraged face. "He's an old friend who helped me promote the Artemis Project. I don't know what you know about the project but I think—"

"What are you doing here, Stark?"

"I was getting to that when you interrupted me."

"I understand your interest in keeping an eye on me but Emily—"

"Is dying."

The words that Loki had never dared to say hung in the air like poison gas and Loki refused to breath in.

"No." He said softly.

"I talked to her doctor. Emily's cancer is treatable but it's not a guarantee, it's a sliver of a hope and it's fading, fast!"

"No." Loki shook his head.

"She's weak, Loki. She's too young to fight this off on her own. I can see it, her doctor's can see it, you can—"

"What would you have me do?" Loki snapped. He ground his teeth and he glared. "W-what you want me to just give up, tell her it's over? How long do you think she'd last with that? A week? A month? No, I have lost too much already to give up like that. Pity me, hate me, do as you please Stark, but keep your cold metal heart to yourself." He spat the words into Tony's unflinching face. "I won't give up, not until all hope is truly lost."

"Man up and face the truth, she's not responding, if anything the treatment is killing her faster. Your hope is lost. But what if it wasn't? What if there was an alternative, an experimental treatment that might save her? Maybe. It's untested but this isn't working. What I'm offering you just might."

"And what—what are you offering?" Loki asked in confusion.

"The Artemis Project."

.

"Home sweet home." Tony announced as he walked into the large foyer of the three-story LA Mansion, holding his arms wide. Loki walked in behind him with Emily on one hip. She leaned against his shoulder limp, clutching her nearly bald Barbie, but her wide eyes darted around the entrance hall excitedly. Stark's Mansion was modern without being uninviting. The floors were pale wood and the curving walls and staircases were white, offset by the warm lighting and decorations. From the front door they could see all the way through the living room to the back wall made of glass and further out to the private pool. Beyond the pool was a line of white sand and then the ocean stretching out to the horizon.

"Bedrooms are upstairs," Tony said cheerily and bounded for the closest staircase. He stood at the top and looked over the doors on the hallway questioningly then said, "this one!" and pushed through one of the west doors opening it into a blue room. The walls were pale blue and the floor was pale wood but the bedspread and accents were dark navy offset with white. There were French doors to a balcony on one side and a private bathroom on the left. The room itself was impersonal and generic, clearly a guest bedroom.

"No, sorry," Tony amended, stepping back and closing the door, "that's Dad's room." He bounded to the next door and pushed it open. "This is yours!" He said to the girl in Loki's arms as the father and daughter entered behind him. Loki sighed, it was a wonderful room for Emily.

It was the mirror of Loki's with a balcony and a bathroom but where his room was blue, hers was every color of a sunset from dusty pink to deep red. The walls were creamy yellow orange and the curtains around the French doors shifted from purple to pink to orange like a twilight sky. A large double bed dominated the room, overflowing with pillows in warm colors and a pink and orange patterned duve.

"All mine?" Emily asked as she stared open mouthed at the large space.

"Yep, all yours." Loki walked over to the large bed and sat her down. Immediately she giggled and fell back.

"Daddy it's so soft!"

"Little big though," Tony noted as he walked to the balcony and opened the doors to let the ocean breeze in, carrying with it the almost familiar smell of salt mixed with chlorine. "What about bunk beds, I had bunk beds as a kid."

"Could I?" Emily asked and sat up to stare at Tony with shimmering hopeful eyes.

"Sure, what ever you want. You'll need toy's too, Barbie's, Legos, what is it kids play with these days?"

"New Toys?" Emily was literally bouncing with excitement. "Daddy, daddy could I get new clothes for Christie?" She held up the doll currently dressed in an outdated purple tube dress.

"If Mr. Stark says so," Loki told her and she directed her blue eyed pleading on Tony.

"Anything you want," the billionaire repeated. "You'll probably need new clothes too."

"Really? Like from a store?"

"What do you mean of course they come from a store?" Tony saw Loki flinch slightly at his words. Emily explained with her next question.

"New?"

"Tags on them and everything."

"Daddy, daddy, really?"

"Yes, elskan," Loki said and adjusted her hat. "Mr. Stark has offered to take care of us. He's being incredibly generous so there's something you should tell Mr. Stark."

"Yes." She nodded and hugged her doll. Turning to smile at Tony wide and innocent, she said, "Thank you Mr. Stark. You make Daddy very happy and I love new clothes."

"It's no big deal kid," Tony said coming to sit down beside her on the bed. "I'd do anything for my favorite people and you," he poked her nose lightly making her giggle, "are my new favorite person. Ok, maybe second, first might be Bruce."

"What about Daddy?" She asked.

"He's like fifth or sixth or something though I can't really remember who's before him." This made Emily giggle again and Loki roll his eyes. Suddenly giggles became chokes and then coughs.

"Emie," Loki quickly reached out to support her incase she fell. "Do you need the bathroom?"

She shook her head weakly. "Thirsty."

"Ok, let's go get you a drink," Loki said softly and picked her up as if she weighted nothing. Tony hurried to open the door for them.

"I had the housekeepers restock so there's juice, soda, gadorade, what do you want?" Tony asked as he led the way.

His kitchen was large and, unlike the one Loki had rifled through in DC, it was well stocked with every manner of snack food and bottled drink from beer to soda water. Tony helped himself to the former while Loki found apple juice and a pudding cup for Emily. While they were busy in the kitchen the little girl wandered into the large living room where a massive flat screen was mounted high over a fake fireplace on a stone accent wall. She walked up to it and stared lustfully at the clicker on the mantle just out of reach.

"Want to watch TV kid?" Tony asked as he came over and sat on one of the white leather sofas.

"Really?"

"Yeah sure. There's a TV in your room too."

Her mouth dropped open and her blue eyes grew even bigger than before.

"Emily," Loki said as he came over, balancing a plate with the juice and pudding. She quickly snapped her mouth shut and scurried over to her father, climbing up on the couch beside him when he sat down. She grabbed his sleeve and tugged it, whispering in her ear.

"No. Stark, she can not have a television in her room."

"Why not? It's already there."

"She'll spend all day in front of it."

"No she won't. She's my new favorite person; remember? We are going to do lots of fun things."

"Really?" Emily asked between mouthfuls of pudding.

"Of course. You've never been to LA right?"

"No."

"Then there's a lot to see, besides Jarvis is hooked up to everything and he'll be monitoring." Loki was still skeptical but one look at Emily's pouting face had him caving in.

"Alright, alright. You can keep the television but you listen to Jarvis."

"Yes daddy." She said with the utmost innocence and sincerity.

"Drink your juice," Loki said and rolled his eyes.

"Daddy, daddy, did you bring the mermaid movie?"

"I—" Loki paused. They hadn't brought much from their old home. Loki had gone back to the house as soon as he knew Emily would be discharged and packed up all of Emily's clothes and the few toys she had, his small wardrobe and the quilt off his bed. The small collection of VHS tapes had been left behind.

"Jarvis, what movies do we have about mermaids."

"Showing 13 results, sir."

"On screen." The TV snapped to life and showed a series of titles.

"That one!" Emily cried and pointed. "the Ariel one!"

"Disney fan then. Put it on Jarvis," Tony said with a self-satisfied grin. At first glance Loki thought the billionaire was just showing off but then Tony met his gaze and seeing gratitude in the father's eyes, grinned wider. Suddenly Loki was revaluating everything he knew about Tony Stark.

The two men left Emily on the couch to watch her favorite movie and wandered to the kitchen.

"Beer?"

"No, thank you." Loki said as he took a seat at the island where he could keep an eye on Emily.

"Suit yourself." Tony said with a shrug. "Jarvis, get the lab up and running would you."

"Of course sir. May I remind you of the 'foam incident' prior to your departure last—"

"Yeah yeah, I'll clean it up when I get down there." Tony sat next to Loki and finished his drink. He tossed the bottle into the trash and it crashed loudly in the empty bin. Emily jumped and turned around.

"Sorry kid," Tony said with a wave, getting up and heading for the fridge. He returned with another beer.

"Stark," Loki said as he watched Emily spoon pudding into her mouth in small quick bites.

"Again with the Stark, I've told you, Tony is just fine."

"Tony," Loki corrected himself. "I still don't understand. Why do this for us?"

"Look I'm not going to pretend her being in the program doesn't benefit me."

"Yes but I doubt you treat every trial subject to this level of… personal involvement."

"I told you, it's new."

"Stark?"

"She's the only subject." Tony admitted and lowered his head. "We're in the process of getting clinical trials started but they're two years, maybe three from launch."

"Stark, she doesn't have that long." Loki whispered.

"I know. I never said it was legal, I just said it was a chance." Tony looked at Loki squarely. His brown eyes were piercing, searching Loki's face, slow and thorough.

"I truly do not understand you Stark."

"I'm really not all that complicated." Tony grinned and drank his beer.

"Sir, the lab is ready."

"Great. Make yourself at home, Reindeer Games just try not to break anything."

"Stark I have only ever been considerate of your home."

"Tell that to my tower in New York." Tony said over his shoulder as he disappeared down a spiraling staircase into the floor. Loki just smiled and looked over at his daughter, sitting on a plush white carpet in her stained second hand corduroy dress eating pudding and smiling.