Chapter 7

Tony stood in the doorway of Emily's yellow-orange room lit up by a pink nightlight plugged into the wall beside her bunk bed. The room had been transformed slowly over the past week from an impersonal guest room into the child's personal haven. The white frame bunk bed was fitted out with pink sheets and red-pink comforters. Her toys spilled out of drawers and baskets, some still in their boxes. Christie was in her own bed in the doll house by the balcony doors that were almost always open, filling the room with the smell of salt and pool water drifting up from below. The child's clothes were scattered around the room where ever they fell in her excited frenzy to wear all of them. Every day had become a fashion show of mismatched outfits filled with giggles and laughter. It had become the norm whenever Emily was awake for there to be smiles and jokes. At first Tony thought it was Loki, putting on a strong face for the girl but the longer he was around her the more he came to see that it was Emily who was putting on the strong face and making them laugh. It seemed to be her goal in life to see them happy. So when she went to bed or dazed off in weak dreariness the atmosphere in the mansion became tense. Loki returned to the way he'd been in those Monday meetings. There was a forced blankness to his expression that covered up grief and desperation. He had that expression now.

Loki shuffled over the pink and white carpet picking up clothing scattered around and folding them neatly into piles, tidying the room in a methodical thoughtless way. Every few minutes he would pause by Emily's bed and touch her lightly then return to his tidying until there was nothing left to do but sit by her head and put a hand on her small shoulder, feeling her breathing.

Tony remained leaning against the wall.

"She responded positively," Loki said softly, just loud enough for Tony to hear.

"Yeah. It's just the first treatment. The others will be higher dosages and more…"

"I don't want to know."

"You sure."

"Tony, can you imagine a doctor standing in front of you telling you he's going to pour poison into your daughters lungs?" Loki looked over his shoulder at Tony. "You said this was a chance."

"A slim one."

"That's more than we had before and all I need to know." They were silent for a moment and Loki looked at his daughter, his back to Tony and expression hidden. Silently he got up and wandered out onto the balcony, facing into the salty wind coming in off the ocean. Tony followed him, coming up beside his odd friend at the railing.

"You know," Loki said softly, "if anyone finds out I don't have legal custody you'll go to jail."

Tony shrugged.

"Doesn't that bother you at all, aren't you even a little frightened?"

"Not really, I've been locked up before. Besides, it doesn't seem to bother you."

"I've seen prisons on earth…"

"You mean the cage Fury put you in, that wasn't—"

"No. When I was banished before I met Shannon and Emily. The first people I met were thieves and I was captured with them, thrown in your human jails."

"Where? How long were you there?"

"It's not something I wish to discuss, Stark." Loki gripped the railing and looked out to the ocean. His face was pale and his breathing shallow. Something in the uncomfortably way the former God was standing made Tony pause. With effort he put a lid on his curiosity.

"Fine." Tony said.

"Fine?"

"Yep. You don't want to talk about it. Ok. I won't pry."

"How unlike you, Stark." There was gratitude in Loki's voice.

"Yeah well, don't tempt me."

"I would never," Loki looked back out to the ocean. "It was Emily… Emily is reason I survived." Loki saw Tony jump out of the corner of his eye but didn't turn. He kept talking before he lost the courage to speak. "When Shannon brought me into her home I was weak, half-drowned and half-mad. I came out of that ordeal powerless and alone, cast out by the only family I had ever known and by all worlds I had ever set foot on. I have seen the malice that hides in so-called good-kings and I have seen the darkest lawless places between worlds filled with the suffering and the desperate. I have learned that the only difference between them is that the former is filled with liars and the latter with honest sadists.

"When I first saw Emily I believed all things were corrupt from the moment of birth to either their violent murdered end or slow death rewarded to those ruthless enough to survive. She proved me wrong. She still does, every day." Loki swallowed and his voice became husky, "so do you." Finally he turned to look at Tony and met the man's shimmering intelligent brown eyes. He was surprised not to see pity there, only understanding. Tony looked away toward Emily in her bed.

"I had people like her once," He said softly, "people who made me see the world differently… made me better…"

"What happened to them?" Loki asked, thinking about the big empty house rising up behind him.

"They died," Tony replied, "all of them." Loki didn't bother to say 'I'm sorry' because it would have been hollow and pointless. "Come on, I think we could both use a drink."

"That seems to be your answer for everything, Stark."

"Yeah well, we can't all use world domination as a coping mechanism."

"Very funny." Loki said dryly.

"I thought it was," Tony grinned. "How about a game of chess, we haven't done that in a while."

"And you won't improve without practice."

"Oh I'm totally going to clean the board with you."

"Is that even a phrase?"

"It is now." They two men continued downstairs to distract themselves with alcohol and half-hearted games of words and strategies. Emily was left in her bed sleeping soundly and coughing occasionally, too soft for either of them to hear.

.

Tony ambled down the stairs of the large house and wandered toward the kitchen. The glowing clock on the oven read 2:18 and Tony glared at it. He opened the liquor cabinet and groaned at the cluttering of empty bottles.

"Jarvis, we need more… everything."

"Adding liquor to the grocery list, Sir."

Tony moved to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He sighed and leaned against the counter as he uncapped it and took the first swig. She'd be angry if she saw him, she'd frown and scold. Tony sighed and focused on the flat horizon of the ocean out his window. He didn't always think of her when he drank and her disapproval but tonight he'd woken up and for a moment he'd forgotten. For a blissful moment before his reality crashed down around his ears he heard her breathing beside him and the whisper of sheets as she shifted.

It was easier to have moments like that when he was sleeping in their bed. He'd wake up and it would feel like so many years ago when she'd roll over after his nightmares and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. She was always so patient for so many years while he was plagued with the terrors of his life and his mistakes. But then the illusion was shattered because her side of the bed was cold, her rings weren't on the nightstand, her robe wasn't hanging off the headboard and he was alone.

Tony brought the bottle to his lips again and contemplated a late night booz run. He looked out over the pool and the yard to a dark lump that broke the flat horizon.

"Jarvis."

"Yes, sir."

"Where are Loki and the kid?"

"Ms. Haywood is asleep in her room and Mr. Larson left through the back door at 1:34 AM."

"Thanks. Hey, keep an eye on the kid, send the suit to me if she wakes up."

"Of course, Sir."

"Thanks." Tony pushed off the counter and headed for the back door. The grass was a little wet under his bare feet as he crossed the small lawn to the beginning of the sandy dune that separated his property from the beach. Loki was sitting by the dune with his eyes half lidded, wrapped in the raggedy quilt he'd brought from DC. He didn't move as Tony approached.

"What'cha doin' out here, Reindeer Games?" Tony asked and sat cross-legged on the grass beside the man. The musky smell of the blanket hit him and momentarily overpowered the smell of salt coming off the ocean. Tony took a drink of his beer to escape the stench. Loki said nothing.

"Fine, brood in silence. I'm going to take a wild guess and say you can't sleep." Loki remained quiet and the waves crashed loudly in the silence.

"What are you doing here, Stark?" Loki sounded tired.

"Same, can't sleep."

"But why are you here?"

Tony shrugged. They again lapsed into silence and listened to the waves. Tony drank his beer and swirled the last of it watching the condensation on the bottle glinting in the moonlight. Tony remembered something Emily had said to him her first day in California.

"Nightmare?" He asked Loki.

"Emily told you."

"I promised her I wouldn't tell."

Loki was silent and stiff under the blanket.

"She means well," Tony said softly.

"They're nothing."

"Yeah, nothing." Tony nodded. "That's why you're out here wrapped in that thing which quite frankly stinks." Tony saw Loki's jaw tense and his hands fist in the tattered fabric. "Not that I'm one to judge. I used to say the same thing, but when I had nightmares I built metal weapons to wrap around myself. They offer a little more protection even if they smell like grease, which is arguably better than that."

Loki closed his eyes then slowly relaxed a little. Finally he spoke:

"It is not my body I fear injury to."

"Wanta' talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok." Tony shrugged and finished his beer. They sat again in silence listening to the waves.

"Well I'm going inside to get another, want one?"

"No, thank you, Stark… Tony." Loki corrected himself. Tony stood up and looked down at the slender man wrapped in the quilt, staring blankly out toward the water.

"Come on, I can't leave you out here alone. You can come hang out in my lab with me."

Loki sighed but he let the blanket fall of his shoulders revealing his bare chest. Slowly he stood and draped the quilt over one arm.

"It still baffles me that you desire my company," Loki said, turning to Tony for the first time. The shift in light caught the deep circles under his eyes and hard lines of his face.

"What can I say," Tony shrugged. "You're not half stupid."

"That, I have come to learn, is quite a compliment since you deem all other's unworthy of your company." Loki paused for a moment then said with a far off expression. "Without Emily or I, your house must get lonely."

"That's what these are for," Tony held up the empty bottle.

"It's an anesthetic not a cure." Tony shivered at the unintentional parallel of Loki's words. "It doesn't suit you." Loki stared at Tony with pale unflinching eyes that made Tony want to scream and cry and cling to Loki and run all at once. For the first time it felt like Loki could see through him and understood him. The bottle slipped from Tony's fingers and maybe it was the buzz in his head that made him do it or the moonlight making the long stretch of pale skin glow from Loki's lips to his waistline. Tony's lips crashed against Loki's roughly at first then caressing firmly with urgency. The quilt slid off Loki's arm and his hands reached out to pull Tony closer. His lips responded slowly, following Tony's lead and opening for the other man's tongue. Tony pulled away suddenly, gasping for air. Loki bent down to press open mouthed kissed along Tony's jaw causing the man in his arms to moan softly.

"How long has it been?" Loki asked and Tony could feel lips just brushing against his throat. Loki bit lightly at his pulse and Tony let his hand trail down Loki's spine. Loki responded by pressing their bodies closer together.

"How long for you?" Tony asked.

"You know the answer to that, Stark," Loki whispered against Tony's throat.

"How long since you wanted it?" Tony amended. He felt Loki freeze in his arms and for a moment it crossed Tony's mind that Loki didn't want this, that he was still expecting to have to preform for some reward. Then Loki's lips were on his, kissing him deeply and hungrily. One hand gripped Tony's hip and the other held his back, pressing them together with surprising strength. Tony moaned against the passionate kiss.

"Inside… now, Anthony," Loki's voice was practically a growl in Tony's ear but still silky and seductive. Tony grinned.

"Say 'please'." He heard the frustration and impatience building in Loki and the tension in the muscles under his hands.

"No," Loki growled. Tony felt Loki's hand slide from his hip to caressing him through the fabric of his pants, stroking and gripping him in a ways that drove him to panting and gasping.

"House… Now…" Tony agreed immediately. They left the blanket and empty bottle on the lawn.

.

Tony lay on his expensive and probably ruined sheets feeling wonderfully sore and exhausted. All the covers had been thrown off into a pile at the end of the bed, one pillow was down by Tony's feet and the other was behind Loki's back. Tony turned his head to look over the lean naked body of the former god sitting beside him, head thrown back as he drank Tony's beer that was probably warm now. Just looking brought back the recent memories of what that body felt like against his and how it moved. Tony's eyes raked over the view then caught on the inside of Loki's wrist where the smooth skin was interrupted by jagged shadows of raised scars. Tony remembered the far off look in Loki's eyes and his tense shoulders that night on Emily's balcony. Like he had then, Tony put a lid on his curiosity. There were parts of his life he didn't share with Loki so it was only fair that Loki keep his own secrets. Tony licked his lips.

"You were right," he said with a grin.

"About what?" Loki put down the beer.

"I did enjoy it."

Loki laughed and smiled. He looked at Tony, eyes flickering over his partner's equally naked body. "I was also wrong."

"How so?"

"I also enjoyed it."

It was Tony's turn to chuckle. "Did you want that?" Tony asked softly, looking pointedly up at the high textured ceiling.

"I would not have if I did not want to," Loki shifted beside him toward the edge of the bed, "I left that life."

"Good." Tony said turned toward Loki. The former God looked over his shoulder to meet Tony's gaze. "Out of curiosity, why?"

"'Why'?"

"Why did you want to sleep with me?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Loki looked disbelieving.

"So this was just one big "thank you" note?"

"Is that why you think I did it?"

"Well… yes."

"Then is that why you kissed me? Is this what you expected?"

"No, I didn't really think. To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't push me away."

Loki turned away. "It wasn't a thank you."

"That's nice to know."

"I—you have been kinder to me than I deserve, you did not give me up when I was little more than your enemy and you've taken us in despite the risks to yourself."

"Sounds like a thank you."

"No, it says something about your character. Stark… Tony, I have never met a more honest man in all the nine realms. A man like that should not have to be lonely." Loki looked over his shoulder at the man lying beside him. Tony was looking away with a guarded expression.

"That's a pretty big complement, especially coming from you."

"Yes it is."

"You know, you're not what I expected. I mean we knew you were smart, you nearly had us beat 6 years ago." Loki turned away quickly but Tony saw his lips twitch at the mention of New York. "I guess I expected more entitlement and selfishness."

"Oh I am plenty selfish. Adopting Emily was a selfish act. I wanted to keep her close and I'm very protective of the things I want. I do not like to see them come to harm and I do not like to share."

"That makes sense." Tony muttered. He pushed himself up off the bed and leaned over to snag the lukewarm beer. "So explain destroying the modern center of civilization of a planet you want to rule?" Tony watched Loki's impassive face carefully.

"New York was strategic."

"Ok explain the logic," Tony said and saw hesitance in Loki's face. "What harm can it do? You failed."

"Did I?" Loki raised an eyebrow and leveled Tony with his piercing blue-green gaze. "I chose New York because it was defended and it would be public. I could have opened the portal in the middle of a desert and amassed my army before moving on multiple targets to neutralize any organized resistance. I could take control of the planet in a matter of weeks and cripple every sizable military before anyone found a way to combat the threat. Humans would still be struggling to accept the existence of my army by the time I won."

"So why not do that?"

"Because then I would be surrounded by a ruthless army with no one to fight and nothing between them and unlimited power but me."

"The tesseract."

"Exactly. If it was going to come to that eventually I would rather there were fewer of them and more humans for them to occupy themselves with fighting."

"So you lead them to New York so we could kill them for you."

"Yes that was the plan. It just worked a little too well."

"How so?"

"Well I ended up in an Asgardian prison and all the nine realms now know that the tesseract is in Odin's vault."

"So I'm confused, did you ever actually intend to rule earth?"

"Yes. Once the Chitauri left with the tesseract I thought I would stay here on earth until they eventually failed in their foolish quest for universal domination. Then when Asgard came to liberate the humans I would slip away, free of both Asgard and the Chitauri."

"Huh," Tony leaned back and drank his beer. "Now I feel like I got played."

"If you are hoping for regret you will be disappointed."

"Hey! A lot of innocent people died that day."

"Yes, that was the point." Loki said looking up at Tony unapologetically. "It was supposed to make you angry, make every nation scared, every woman fearful for her children and every man ready for war. I wanted to turn your entire race against the Chitauri and I succeeded."

"So you're justifying their deaths, saying it was for a greater good?" Tony's eyes were hard and murderous. "You don't feel anything do you? Not for the people who died or the orphans, or the families you tore apart? What if one of those kids who got crushed under falling buildings was your Emily, huh?"

"Then I would do what you did," Loki said softly, "burn every last one of the foul beasts responsible." He looked Tony in the eye and only in the intensity of his gaze did his hell fire rage show itself while the rest of him remained calm. "I would hunt down the animals that slaughtered her and see that they suffered as she suffered. Just as I did the beast that slew my mother." Loki's eyes glittered in the low light and he quivered with tightly controlled rage.

When Loki finally looked away Tony felt suddenly released and breathed out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. For a moment he'd forgotten that Loki was powerless now and the raw anger had terrified him. Loki stood quickly grabbing his clothes from the floor. He strode out of the room without a glance over his shoulder at Tony. The billionaire was left lying on his rumpled bed sheets staring open mouthed at the empty doorway.

.

A few hours later Loki heard a knock on his door.

"Come in Stark." The door creaked slowly inward and Tony leaned on the open frame. Inside Loki sat on the edge of his neat bed half dressed and hands hanging limp between his legs.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Emily doesn't usually knock."

"Oh." Tony wanted to say more but he couldn't find the words. Loki's voice lacked his usual humor. It sounded rough and weak.

"What do you want?"

"I just… I'm sorry, I didn't know about… your mom."

"That is irrelevant." In Loki's usual tone it might have been a snap. Tony swallowed his response and the room fell silent.

"Do you regret it now, sleeping with me?" Loki asked.

"Nope." Tony said honestly.

"That good?" There Tony heard a little of the cocky Loki he was accustomed to.

"No. Don't get me wrong it was good. But that's not why." Tony shifted uncomfortably. "Like I said, I haven't always been like this. I used to put weapons in the hands of some bad people and even if I didn't pull the triggers, there's a lot of innocent blood on my hands as well."

"Thank you, Stark." Loki looked down at his hands again and they fell into tense silence. Tony was about to leave just to escape the heavy air when Loki said, "I'm sorry for how I spoke. It is easy to forget you were never a soldier."

"And you were?"

"I was a prince of Asgard, charged with the protection of the Nine Realms. I was born destined to be soldier and I upheld my duties in many wars."

Tony just looked at Loki, nodding absentmindedly. From what Thor had told them of Asgard it was a militaristic place but since getting to know Loki as human Tony had never thought of him as a fighter. Loki was more inclined to lie, manipulate or scheme than he was to make violent confrontations. Loki jerked him out of his thoughts with a question.

"Is it atonement, is that the reason you fight in your armor?"

"Used to be."

"Why do you do it now?"

"Because I can help. If I have the ability to save just one little girl how could I walk away?" Loki was all too aware of his own little girl sleeping in the next room. He also remembered holding Tony's head over the toilet and wiping the man's sweaty forehead that evening in DC.

"Who is there to save you then when you are in need? Who do you go to for help?"

"Jarvis, he takes care of me." Tony motioned up to the ceiling.

"He is but wires in the walls."

"Hey, don't insult Jarvis, he controls your television."

"And there you go again. You never lie, only redirect."

"Yeah well… there used to be people." Tony looked down at his hands as he spoke.

"How cruel the norns can be." Loki said it more to himself than for Stark's benefit.

"Norns?"

"Deities of fate."

"Huh. So even gods have gods. I don't really believe in fate."

"Then what was our meeting? Chance?"

"I don't know, if you were sleeping with half of the big names in DC and I moved my eastern headquarters there I think it was bound to happen eventually."

"You believe there is always a rational explanation don't you."

"Yep. You don't?"

"That is an understanding all sorcerers come to, that sometimes reality is unpredictable and chaotic."

"You like that don't you."

"Chaos? It is the only truly honest thing in the universe."

"I really don't understand you."

"Like I said, I'm really not that complicated."

"Like me."

"Just like you."

"Huh," Tony had half a grin tugging at his mouth. He shook his head and stood up off the door frame.

"Well we finally got to the fun part." He said casually.

"Yes," Loki said softly then louder but hesitantly, "I'm gad we did." Tony met his eyes and recognized the all to familiar loneliness there. "Good night, Tony."

"Night," Tony said. "See you bright and early. Emily wants to go to the Aquarium." He turned and left hearing Loki's soft sigh behind him. He couldn't help smiling a little as he left.

The smile fell away as he approached their room on the other side of the mansion. It fell completely when he sat down on their rumpled sheets and looked around at the messy room. He gave his own heavy sigh and pulled up the covers from the floor, dragging them over himself before falling asleep spread eagle over the middle of the bed. It still felt too large and too empty. Tony pulled his arms in and rubbed the base of his bare ring finger. Despite everything she'd said and everything that he'd promised it felt wrong. Tony rolled over and slept uneasily until Jarvis woke him for their strange 'family' outing to look at octopi and penguins.

.

The entry was dim and cold when Tony entered the mansion at seven PM, trailing his feet and dragging off his tie. He sighed as the heavy door closed behind him.

"Jarvis," he said. The word echoed through the large rooms and up the stairs with no answer. "Jarv, buddy?" Tony looked around and reached for a switch on the wall. After a moment of fiddling Tony sighed.

"Great! No power. Where the hell are my generators?" He stumbled through to the living room pulling small empty liquor bottles from his pockets and leaving them on the nearest end table. Half way to the stairs down to his lab he remembered hacking up the generators before he left for DC.

"Damn," he muttered. It would take hours to put back into working order and it might take longer for the power to return.

"Jarvis, take note, fix generator… or don't…" Tony groaned again and turned away from the stairs, instead he headed for the kitchen. He kicked off his shoes on the way and fished a crumpled silver wrapped box from his pocket. He threw it on the counter where it clattered and landed ribbon-bow down by the decorative jars of oats and flour. A crystal glass clattered down beside it then a generous helping of scotch which quickly disappeared. Tony poured another glass and fumbled with the lid of the bottle. His hand fumbled the glass as he reached for it a second time and slippery cup tipped, rolling across the counter and slipping golden liquid over the dark granite.

"Fuck that," Tony muttered and grabbed the bottle. He shuffled out of kitchen with it in hand, swaying and glaring around the dark room. He collapsed on the couch and took a swig from his bottle. Gasping he leaned back, bottle cradled in his hands and staring up at the dark ceiling. He reveled in the burning and the numbness of the drink, anything to remove the smells of that place, the disinfectant and the decay. Even the dark was appreciated because it wasn't the over bright halls that looked like a cheep hotel or the false homey atmosphere of the visiting rooms. Tony lifted the bottle again.

"Better fix that generator," He mumbled before he threw his head back and swallowed another gulp. He lingered for a moment more before standing and swaying as he walked toward the stairs. His socked foot caught on the coffee table as he passed. Tony cried out as he fell, pulling his hands up in front of him. The bottle was knocked away, rolling and spinning off the carpet and onto the hard floor with a hollow clatter. Tony thumped onto the carpet painfully.

"Fuckin' shit!" Tony shouted angry curses at the ceiling till he was panting and his lungs were empty. He felt heat on his cheeks and let his head rest against the scratchy fabric of the sofa.

He lay for a moment on his bruised arms moaning. Slowly he lifted his head again and looked around for his missing bottle. Instead he came face to face with a painted wide eyed doll with dark plastic skin and short tufts of black hair sewn into her hollow head. Emily's Christie doll stared back at Tony from under the couch where she'd been lost.

He squinted at the doll trying to figure out how it fit into his house and why he was on the floor staring a this bald doll. He frowned because the only explanation he could come up with was his own life. He remembered lying behind the couch in the living room of his father's home with a rubix cube flipping the colors at random as he listened to his father yelling into the telephone. He remembered being scared, never knowing what the next conversation would bring, gruff disinterest or near violent anger, but above all he dreaded the inevitable disapproval. It was easiest just to hide away and to wait. He couldn't leave like his mother, he couldn't slip away to the party of the week in a chaffered car…. Tony just had to hide and wait in agonizing tension.

Christie stared back at Tony from under the couch as the first tear fell down his face. Tony gasped and scrambled back.

"Oh god, Emily," He whispered. "No, no…" Tony pulled himself up onto the couch. "I can't become him, I can't become him…. I can't…" Tony looked down at the bottle spilling across the floor and his gritted his teeth. "I won't," he said angrily.

Tony jumped up off his couch and strode purposefully to the back door and across the patio. Kneeling down by the pool side he splashed his face with the cold chlorine water. It soaked his shirt and ran over his scalp. Tony gasped and sat back, looking around his dark yard and up at the few early evening stars.

"Oh god, Pep, I'm so glad you don't recognize me because I wouldn't…" Tony shook his head, "you…. You always deserved better than me and better than… this." Tony bowed his head and a harsh sob broke out of his chest. He crumpled over his knees by the pool side and lay on the damp concrete.

.

"Mama mia Mama mia," Emily sang in his high soprano.

"Mama mia Figaro," Loki sang after her as they walked in the front door, her clinging to his back and a pink shopping bag hanging from his arm.

"Magnifico-o-o-o-o!" Emily sang out of tune and burst into laughter. Loki joined in with an unconscious smile on his face.

"Alright! I have to put you down now."

"Nooo," she squealed and held tightly to his neck.

"Ahhck, Emie, you're choking me," Loki exaggerated with gasps and a pained expression. Emily giggled and relented. "Besides, you can't show Tony what you bought if you're hanging onto me."

"Ok!" She let him sit down on the steps and released her hold on him. Loki stood up and took her hand. Then his eyes fell on the broken glass. The small bottles had toppled off the decorative table in the hall and the shards were scattered over the floor where they'd fallen. Loki tightened his grip on Emily's hand.

"Emie min, why don't you go upstairs?" He said softly.

"But Daddy, we were gonna show Tony what we got?" She tugged on his arm weakly.

"Yes, so you should put it on," Loki said quickly and passed her the paper shopping bag. He looked down into her large blue eyes. "I'll go find Tony," he assured her.

Emily frowned and hugged the bag to her chest.

"Is something wrong?" She asked him in a soft voice that mirrored his own.

"I…" Loki paused. He bent down to look Emily in the eyes. He never liked to lie to her but he didn't know how to explain Tony's drinking. He didn't know how to tell her that sometimes the man who was saving her life was unpredictable and even dangerous. So he said, "I don't know."

Emily's bottom lip trembled and her eyes glassed over with tears.

"But what ever is going on," Loki said quickly, rubbing her shoulders, "Daddy will take care of it. You go put on your new clothes and I'll be up in a minute. Ok?"

Emily paused and frowned. Then she nodded slowly and with a light push from her father headed for the stairs. Loki watched her climb with her small awkward steps then disappear at the landing. He sighed before turning and going further into the house.

"Jarvis," Loki asked the AI. "Where is Tony?"

"My cameras place him outside by the pool, Mr. Larson."

"Thank you," Loki said out of reflex though Tony had told him before it was unnecessary. Through the reflected image of the bright living room Loki could see Tony sitting by the pool side on one of the reclining chairs. He was looking up at the sky when Loki pushed the glass door open and didn't look or acknowledge the company. Loki approached cautiously. He was surprised not to see a drink in Tony's hand or around him, not even a discarded bottle. Loki stopped when he could make out the tear tracks down Tony's face and just stood a few feet away from his silent host.

"Hey," Tony whispered hoarsely. He sniffed and wiped his eyes hastily.

"Tony," Loki acknowledged.

"I… I found… under the…" Tony motioned behind him to the glass wall of the house but words failed him and he dropped his head into his hands with a heavy sigh.

Loki sat down next to his friend on the long chair. "Bad day?"

"Yeah."

"Is that why you sent us out shopping this morning?"

"God, Loki, I didn't mean… I couldn't… I can't…"

"It's alright, Stark. It's your home." Silence stretched between them and Loki resisted the urge to fidget. Tony remained still and slumped, a strange shadow of his usual self that Loki didn't understand. It was like their early meetings when Loki couldn't read the eccentric billionaire. Loki licked his lips. "You look terrible. Do you need something?" Loki reached under Tony's chin and lifted his face to look into those brilliant brown eyes. They were ringed with deep circles and lines of stress and grief creased Tony's face. Loki knew what followed an expression like that. "A drink?" he offered.

"No!" Tony snapped and slapped Loki's hand away, pulling away from the other man. "No," he repeated emphatically. "That's just it. I—I don't… I need…" Tony slumped in defeat as the words failed him. Head in his hands again he whispered, barely loud enough for Loki to hear, "I need you to do something for me."

"Tony?" Loki leaned in and his heart sped up in tremors of fear. A warm hand wrapped firmly around his own.

"Get rid of it… all of it." Tony met his eyes, brilliant brown filled with painful conviction.

Loki leaned back and his mouth hung slightly open.

Tony frowned in shame and looked away. "I—I can't… I need you to… so I don't…"

"Alright," Loki replied and squeezed that warm hand back. "Alright." Loki stood slowly and his hand slipped out of Tony's. He paused just a few steps away. "Tony," he said and turned back, "you know this won't be easy."

Tony looked up at him with tear-streaked cheeks, lips pulled tight and eyes filled with his thoughts looking unflinchingly back at Loki. "For Emily?" Tony shook his head. "It's no more than you've done."

Loki felt a small smile pulling at his face that was half pride and half relief. He turned and went back inside. He asked Jarvis to call Emily down from her room. She came bounding in a blur of red velvet and green satin. Loki pointed her outside and she scurried to the back door. The father watched through the window as she came over to Tony and twirled her Christmas dress for him and danced with an invisible partner. Tony smiled and picked her up into his lap. They laughed together as Emily retold her day to Tony with grand hand gestures.

Inside Loki tipped bottle after bottle into the sink until the cabinet was empty. He picked up the broken glass and cleaned up the spilled alcohol. He dried off the silver wrapped box that Tony had discarded on the countertop and looked at it curiously before slipping it into his pocket with the intention of returning it to Tony.

The back door opened and Tony led Emily in by the hand. She bounded behind him, watching her skirts and how the green satin bounced with her every movement.

"Alright now close your eyes," Tony said to the little girl as they stood in the middle of the living room. Loki leaned on the counter to watch from the kitchen as Emily's lids fluttered shut. Tony waved his hand in front of her eyes. He stepped away then turned to her quickly and she jumped.

"Ah! No peeking."

"Ok, ok," She giggled and pulled her red and gold iron man hat, a gift from Tony, over her eyes.

Tony quickly turned and reached under the nearest couch. He smiled at Loki weakly then forced a bigger grin. "You can look now," Tony said holding up the doll he'd retrieved from under the couch. Emily lifted her hat and squealed.

"Christie! You found her, you found her!" She grabbed the doll and hugged her tight against the red velvet. She then latched herself onto Tony's legs.

"Thank you, thank you," She cried and Tony's smile became wide and genuine. He bent down to hug her back while she comforted her plastic friend, promising never to lose the doll again. Loki walked in from the kitchen.

"Thank you, Tony," He said to the man kneeling beside his little girl. Tony just nodded silently with quivering lips.