The thick envelope sat ominously on the living room coffee table between the tatters and cut ribbons of shimmering red and green wrappings, discarded plastic boxes and dirty breakfast plates smeared with glistening syrup and half eaten bacon slices. The plane white paper and harsh black stamped address, innocuous as it was in reality seemed to glare out from the festive framings. Try as he might Loki's eyes drifted back to the reminder. He adjusted his grip on the cooling cup of coffee and looked out at the ocean deliberately, focusing on the waves as each one rolled in and crashed on the beach.

On the plush carpet at the end of the table, bathed in flickering warm light from the fireplace, Tony and Emily knelt in the contents of a large box. Pieces of wood and a multitude of different sized screws and bolts littered the floor. A weighty and greasy selection of tools crinkled the velvet of Emily's lap.

"Philips," Tony said and held out his hand. The screw driver was passed over after a few scrambling moments. "Next screw… Emily?" Tony looked down from the pieces he was assembling to see the little girl staring over her shoulder, mouth pressed in a frown as she watched her father.

"Em?" Tony whispered and she jumped. "What's wrong kid?" He asked. Emily just looked down at her greasy hands.

"It's ok," Tony said, glancing theatrically at Loki. "It can be our little secret." Emily puckered her lips as she considered his offer. She didn't deliberate long before dumping the tools unceremoniously and crawling into Tony's lap, upsetting his work. Her thin arms wound around his chest and she nuzzled against his shirt. She sniffed a few times, lip caught between her teeth and barely restrained tears pooling on her thin pale lashes.

"I made Daddy mad again," she whispered barely loud enough to be heard above the crackling of the fire.

"You did? How did you do that?" Tony asked in honest confusion. Awkwardly he wrapped his own arms around her shoulders.

"By being sick," she whispered. Tony froze, all the warmth of the fire leaving him suddenly. "Are you angry with me to?"

"No," Tony whispered. "Your dad isn't mad at you either."

"How do you know?" She asked.

"Because he told me."

"Really?"

"Do you think I'd lie to you? You're my favorite person in the world."

"I thought I was your second favorite person," she said with a soft sniffle, raising her head to look at him.

"Well… you moved up a few places. Don't tell Bruce." He winked at her and she gave a weak giggle. "Hey, I know what would cheer your dad up though."

"You do?" She sat up straighter in his arms, eager and willing. Tony had to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

"Just smile for him, ok?"

"Smile?"

"Yeah."

She considered it for a moment, her little hands fisted in his shirt and lips puckered in concentration again. Then she nodded solemnly and crawled out of his lap. Her small shinny black shoes tapped on the floor as she ran to her father.

"Daddy," she tugged on his arm and Loki jerked suddenly out of his daze with a gasp. "Merry Christmas Daddy," She said. From where he was sitting Tony couldn't see her face but he saw Loki's answering smile. It began small then twitched involuntarily further up, easing away troubled lines and troubling shadows.

"Merry Christmas, Emi-min," He replied with a wide genuine smile. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

.

Cafés had changed since the 1930's. They were no longer places of socialization but a sea of screens. It seemed that every one had a laptop on their table, lap or footstool. Seats near power plugs were coveted and headphones were a necessary fashion accessory. Steve looked around the cramped little coffee shop and sighed sadly. No one met his eyes or even glanced at him. He picked up his cup and sipped the coffee distractedly, thinking back to an arguably simpler time in his life.

"Excuse me," a soft voice said at his elbow. Steve turned quickly to see a child, perhaps seven or eight holding a tablet to her chest. "Are you the Captain?" She asked, blue eyes looking up unwaveringly. For some reason he found them unnerving.

"Y-yes," he replied.

"Oh, good," she grinned with a mouth full of slightly crooked child's teeth. She scurried around his table and crawled up into the chair opposite him. The blue backpack on her shoulders made her somewhat awkward and the tablet clattered to the table when she was settled. Tongue poking out from between her lips she adjusted the pink flowered hat she was wearing and checked with blindly fumbling hands that the sequined flower was centered over her forehead.

Steve looked around worriedly for her parents. Perhaps there was a different Captain she was supposed to be meeting but no one in the café stood out as paternal or military.

"Um… kid… are you… here alone?"

"No," She said with a smile. "Tony brought me."

"Tony?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Yes, Spangles," Tony Stark fell into the seat between super soldier and child with all of his effortless arrogance and irritating self-importance. "The kid's with me."

"Really?" Steve glanced at the girl. Nothing from her delicate nose to her mysteriously absent eyebrows looked like Tony. "Yours?"

"What? No!" Tony laughed. Steve looked him up and down apprehensively. His cheeks weren't flushed but his eyes were ringed in dark circles and the lines of his face were deeper than Steve remembered. His clothes were slightly wrinkled as usual but they at least smelled clean which was more than Steve could say about Tony last time they had met.

"What parent," Steve asked, "would trust you with their child?"

"Hold off the judgment, Cap. I've turned over a new leaf and…"

"Tony?" Steve fisted his hand on the table.

"Yes, yes, she's…" Tony trailed off and glanced at the little girl listening intently to their conversation. "Didn't I tell you to put your headphones on?" He asked her. She shook her head vigorously. "No? I said when grown ups are talking you put headphones on… now." Disappointed and reluctant the little girl pulled out headphones and put them over her pink hat. Tony tapped quickly on the tablet and the muffled sounds of the Rolling Stones started coming from the headphones. She quickly pulled the tablet out of Tony's hands to pull up a drawing program and started doodling with her fingers.

"Right," Tony turned back to Steve. "Her father is headed back to Washington." Steve balked. "No, just kidding. Checking to see if she's still listening. Mischievous streak in that one, get's it from her father."

"Tony! This is serious. She's a child."

"What? No! I thought she was just a mentally challenged midget!"

"Tony!"

"It's a joke. I know she's a…"

"Where did she come from?"

"Oh come on, Cap. You really don't want to have that conversation here."

"Tony," Steve growled.

"Seriously, tell me you know where babies come from."

"Tony! Are you drunk?"

"No, actually no."

"We're taking her home."

"Well that won't change anything."

"Tony, you take her back to her parents right now. This is not funny."

"No, it's not."

"You're intoxicated and she's…"

"No, I'm not that's the point! Don't you get it?"

"Where are her parents?"

"Wha—you don't believe me. Cap, I'm not drunk. I'm sober, completely sober."

"What?"

"I'm sober, clean, not a drop, in the program." A moment of silence fell over the table. "I have been for three months now," Tony said, hands up in surrender while Steve looked him over incredulously.

"Really?"

"Yes," Tony said emphatic. "What? You think her father is just gonna leave her with me for the day if I wasn't? He doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me with those scrawny arms of his."

"Her father."

"Yeah, that's a long story."

"Where is he now?"

Tony glanced at the little girl fleetingly. "Out shopping, it's Emily's birthday next week. We have a surprise party planned."

"Emily?"

"Yep."

"Tony?" the little girl raised her head from the drawing on her screen. "I don't like this music."

"Wh-what?" He faked injury, "That hurts, that physically hurts. What did I ever do to you? Do you want me to be in pain?"

"No, but… it's… masochistic cacophony."

"You just learned those words from your father. Do you even know what that means?"

"It doesn't sound good?"

"No, but… well, yes.. fine." Tony reached over and took the headphones off her head, nearly dislodging her hat. She scurried to correct it, insuring the sequined flower was again in the center of her forehead.

"It looks great kid," Tony said, patting her head consolingly. Steve just watched with the fledgling signs of approval.

"Hi, Emily, I'm Steve," He said and held out his hand to the little girl. In his large palm her fingers looked very thin and fragile.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Steve."

"Tell me, did your father really leave you with Tony for the day?"

"Yes, I live with Tony."

"You live with him?"

"Me and Daddy. Daddy said that Tony was going to take care of us."

"Why?"

"Because Tony is nice. He helps lot of people with his science because he's super smart."

Steve sat back and looked her over again, the hat, her bare brow and watery blue eyes. It suddenly clicked and he could only turn to Tony, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Tony turned quickly to Emily, digging in his pocket for his wallet.

"How about a latte?" He asked the child.

"With whipped cream?" She asked hopefully.

"What ever you want."

"But daddy said you aren't allowed to give me sugar."

"Well what your dad doesn't know won't hurt him."

"What does that mean?"

"Means it will be our little secret," Tony said with a grin and passed her a small wad of cash.

"Ok," She said, the corners of her mouth twisting up to make dimples on her thin cheeks, a look that could only be described as adorably villainous. She hopped down and scampered off to the cash register. Steve watched her weaving through the crowd of tables and chairs, the top of her pink hat peaking above and between mugs and laptop screens.

"Yes, she's part of the project," Tony said and Steve's attention snapped back to his old friend.

"The Artemis Project? But I heard it was years away from human testing."

"Legally," Tony muttered. "She doesn't have years… she has months… maybe."

"But the project?"

"It was her last shot… and it failed. Her condition is already starting to degrade… it will progress rapidly and then… her organs will fail one by one, starting with her lungs, until she dies." Tony's voice was hard and factual.

"So there's nothing you can do?"

"Nothing but make sure she can spend what time she has with her father… happily."

"I'm sorry," Steve stammered out, unsure what else to say.

"That's what I keep saying but the test results never change," Tony replied with an understanding look and glassy eyes.

"Is there something I can do?"

"No…well not for her. For me… maybe…." Tony trailed off.

"Not like you to beat around the bush." Steve noted.

"Not like me to apologize either. Only person I really ever apologized to was Pepper." Tony quickly cleared his throat. "But I've been a shit friend and not just to you but a lot of people."

"Tony," Steve became suddenly uncomfortable.

"No, I didn't say this to Roody and now I can't and that's my own damn fault. I have to live with that. I have been a shit friend and a worse colleague and… I'm sorry."

Steve had to blink a few times before he could believe his ears and his eyes. But Tony wasn't done.

"I'm sorry about that day I came storming into your apartment. I said some pretty nasty thinks about you and my dad and I don't remember half of it so who knows what else."

Steve remembered that night with painful clarity.

"And I'm sure there are a hundred other times I should apologize for."

"It's alright."

"No it's not alright. It was stupid and I was…"

"Tony, it's alright," Steve cut him off quickly. "I forgive you."

"Y-you do? Cause I wouldn't forgive me, why are you forgiving me so soon? And if it's because of the kid that is not why I brought her here. It just happened to be the day that I was planning to meet you."

"I'm just not you, Tony."

Tony opened his mouth to say something but Emily's scurrying feet distracted him. She set down a towering cup pilled high with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

"What is that?" Tony asked. Emily shrugged and got to work blowing a little hole in the foamy cream.

"That's huge!" Tony exclaimed.

"You didn't say small." She complained.

"You can't drink all that! It's as big as your head!"

"Is not!" She quickly mocked up the size of her head with her hands and slid it forward in the air to measure.

"No, you're cheating.

"Am not!"

"I can see you! You cheat!"

Steve grinned and laughed at the two, bickering like old friends. At the same time his heart was aching because the little girls so full of life, glowing with pride at her little victory was withering. His heart broke because he was helpless and she was smiling anyway.

.

Their laughter was high and echoing in the small rooms with their glass dividers and bare walls. Thor's was deepest but still rang loud enough to hurt Loki's ears. Sif's was highest and a breathless desperate sound of pure joyous hatred. Loki struggled against the white braces, strapped tight around his wrists and ankles. If he could just get free he could show them, there was nothing to laugh at. But the braces held and they laughed on. Heavy footfalls beside his bed sent Loki's heart pounding and Odin's shadow loomed over him, blotting out the white tiles of light in the ceiling. This sickness must be purged from your mind, Odin commanded as he pushed the plunger and the needle bit into Loki's arm. Fire erupted in his veins and he thrashed against his bonds till dark bruises ringed his wrists and ankles. Relax and it will be over soon, a soothing voice said in his ear. Loki cried out for his mother but no matter how he turned to look he couldn't see her. All he could see were the eyes staring down at him over white masks. A familiar set stood out, behind the observation glass, watching him with clipboard in hand. They were bright, intelligent and a deep amber brown. Tony! Loki cried out, Tony! But his lover didn't respond, just noted on his clipboard with apathy. Loki screamed to the sky and thrashed until his limbs burned and his strength gave out to the fire in his veins.

His head lolled to the side and he stared without seeing at the nightstand and the neat rows of shells and violets lined up on the edge, just as far as a little hand could push them standing on her tippy-toes. Emily! Loki gasped and stared at the row of small gifts on the white plastic table, next to his white frame bed, the white sheets, white braces holding him down, the tubes snaking up the white walls to the white ceiling. Emily? Are you here? Are you… real? Did I imagine it? No, no, you were too real… to imperfect… but… no. No, I couldn't have imagined… Tell me I didn't! Loki begged of Tony but he just noted again on the clipboard, peering at it over his white mask. Emily? Emily? EMILY?

Loki jerked awake, gasping for breath and shaking. Beside him Tony stirred.

"Wha…" the man asked in a sleep muddled voice. "Lokster?"

Loki didn't pause to answer but jumped up, bouncing the bed. His bare feet slapped against the hard wood floors as he scurried for the door.

"Loki?" Tony called after him and stumbled to his feet much slower, taking the time to gather their bath robes as he scrambled after the other man. "Loki!" He hissed down the hall as he pursued toward the far end where the soft sounds of Emily's open window were coming from.

Tony slowed when he saw Loki, frozen at the little girl's door, eye pressed to the crack. Tony walked up cautiously, wrapping himself in his own robe as he did. Loki didn't move or acknowledge him until the two men were less than a foot apart.

"She's really there?" Loki asked softly.

"Course," Tony muttered, "Where else would she be?"

"I mean…she's…" Loki swallowed then leaned away from the door shaking his head. With careful deliberate movements he shut the door silently.

"She's what?" Tony asked in a whisper. Loki just took his robe out of Tony's hand and wrapped his naked body quickly, hugging the soft dark fabric close as he padded back toward Tony's room. The other man followed.

Once the door to the hall was firmly shut behind him, Tony rounded on Loki. The taller man was slumped over his knees on the side of the bed, forehead in his hands breathing deeply in a half panicked manner.

"What was that?" Tony asked.

"I'm sorry," Loki replied, his voice tight.

"That one of those nightmares Emily told me about?"

"Y-yes."

"Must be some scary shit."

"The line between fearing insanity and insanity itself is very thin."

"Ok…" Tony trailed off as he scrutinized the man on his bed. "You going to tell me about it one day?"

"Perhaps," Loki said. His fingers were already working the knot at his waist and easing off his robe, baring his pale shoulders again. "But not tonight, Stark." Loki said as he rolled on his side of the bed and dragged the covers up.

"Fair enough," Tony replied. "Sure you don't need me to pinch you?"

Loki gave a soft laugh as Tony joined him in bed. He just shook his head, a small smile pulling at his lips. The deep lines under his eyes remained though. Tony decided he couldn't judge. He probably looked just as bad most days.

.

Tony ran his fingers over the raised lines on Loki's wrist.

"I didn't know God's had scars," He said watching Loki's face. Loki just blinked and his lips slowly came together. His hand slid up Tony's chest to trace the edges of the scar tissue where the arc reactor used to be.

"No," the former god whispered and his eyes lowered, "they don't. Mortals do."

Tony frowned. "I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours." Loki's eyes flicked back up but they were still guarded and hesitant. "I'll even go first," Tony offered.

"I do not wish to talk about it."

"Fine. I'll tell you anyway."

"Stark." Loki looked like he was about to protest so Tony just started talking.

"I haven't always been like this, you know, nice, a hero, whatever. I used to build weapons, really good weapons and sell them to—well I didn't know this but I also didn't care to know—to anyone… bad people, really bad people. So when someone put a price on my head and used my own weapons against me I ended up with a chest full of shrapnel." Loki raised an eyebrow. "Not that big of a deal if you have a hospital near by, but I was in the middle of the Afghan desert. So this guy, Yensen, doctor, fixed me up. Saved my life in more ways than one. He was probably the best man I ever knew, brutally honest too. Anyway he put this electro magnet in my chest to keep the shrapnel from reaching my heart. The blue light was the power source that ran the magnet and my suit, genius bit of tech really."

Loki was silent for a long moment after Tony finished.

"How barbaric," he said finally.

"But effective. Kept me alive for years until I could find a way to get the shrapnel out."

"I see that you did."

"Yeah. Hey, does this mean you can mind control me now? I mean if you weren't…"

"Perhaps, I do not claim to completely understand the stone and it's powers. No one, not even Odin, does."

"Huh." Tony shrugged then made a waving motion with his hand as if to shoo away the thoughts. He promptly snuggled closer to Loki and released the scarred wrist.

"Is that all?"

"All what?"

"No demands that I fulfill my end of the deal?"

"You never agreed to that deal."

"You are trying to guilt me into agreeing."

"No. I just thought you might like to know. Now you do." Tony leaned his head against Loki's chest and fell silent.

"Where is the doctor now? He seems to have been someone… special to you."

"He died. Gave his life so I could escape. I couldn't save him." Tony said, clipped and short. His eyes darted around the room unfocused.

They were silent again. Tony listened intently to Loki's heart and breathing, trying not to relive that last day in the cave, the terror and the adrenaline of his escape. He was so lost in the smell of gasoline, iron and stale sweat that Loki's next words made him jump.

"It was a plastic pen."

"What?"

"The scars, on my wrists, it was a plastic pen. I think he must have left it there on purpose."

"Who?"

"I couldn't tell you a name, there were so many names in that place, they all blend together in my memory. When I said I was imprisoned here on earth I didn't say where. At first it was a smaller facility, temporary. Then they sent me to a… hospital of some kind. They all seemed to think I was… mentally deranged. In hindsight I don't blame them after my repeated instance and demands… but someone… someone in that facility must have believed me because they made my mind a living hell. When I refused the drugs they were forced on me, when I was violent I was sedated and restrained, and no one believed a word I said. Physical pain I can deal with, even in this human form, but to have my own mind turned against me. Every shadow became my enemy. Every night I faced the darkest fears I dared not whisper of alone. All that I have lost haunted me, every guilt and mistake for how long… I do not know. My fall from the bifrost into the lifeless Void between the branches of Yggdarsil seems shorter in my mind. And he… my captor, tormentor, left me with a chance, my only chance at escape." Loki lay very still beside Tony, eyes downcast. "It didn't work. He knew it wouldn't."

"They put you in an asylum?"

"It is not so hard to believe, they thought me delusional when I insisted I was Loki of Asguard."

"Not your smartest move."

"No," Loki laughed humorlessly, "no it wasn't."

"How'd you get out?"

"It was rather unintentional. I sought escape in any way so when given the chance I tried to overdose. They moved me to a less guarded facility and from there I escaped out a window. I was not in my right mind and stowed away on a boat. The boat took me out to sea. Of course when I was found, it was… chaotic. I fell overboard and washed up on the beach many miles away. That's where Shannon found me."

"And she took you in?"

"She thought I was a drug addict, that I had intentionally injected myself with those vial chemicals for… pleasure." The word twisted in Loki's mouth around his disgust.

"Wow, brave woman."

"Compassionate foolish woman. She herself was a recovering addict. It was part of the reason she left Emily's father. His… habits were not something she wanted her daughter exposed to."

"I wish I'd met her."

"You would think her stupid. She was truly simple minded."

Tony looked at Loki with thinly veiled disapproval. "She sounds like a strong woman to me."

Loki paused and took a deep breath then almost guiltily admitted, "yes, she was."

"I like strong personalities."

"Really Stark next to you almost everyone seems small," Loki said halfway between sarcasm and honesty.

"Well not you."

"In the grand scheme of things I am very small, Anthony. You will advance your entire species years into the future. I am but a lost Prince with nothing to his name but the love of a little girl."

"Hey! I think you sell yourself short. Earth won't quickly forget you. Thor certainly won't."

"Tony, I have asked that you not speak of—"

"Blood or not he damn well thinks you're his brother."

"We are not discussing this."

"Can you honestly say you don't have some feelings toward him, good? Bad? Murderous? Romantic?" Tony scrutinized Loki's practiced blank expression. "Come on give me something."

"Good Night, Stark."

"Fine! I give up. I just think it's a little hard on Point-break. He was torn up over your death."

"Then he will only be that much more vexed to find me alive." Loki snapped back petulantly.

They lay in silence for a long moment.

"Regardless of my feelings for Thor, it would be cruel." Loki said with cold rationality, "What is years or months to you is like days for him. As quickly as his grief might fade it will return shortly when my mortal body withers and dies. That grief will return all the more raw and painful."

Tony rolled over to look into Loki's bright green eyes. His, brilliant and deep hazel brown were glassy with restrained tears and his lips quivered with anger as he spoke.

"I would give up all the money in the world for another hour with Yensin… with Roody... my parents… my wife. If you could extend Emily's life… how much would you give up?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Some people don't get that chance. Your brother does." Tony rolled over and with a harsh jerk pulled the duvet over his shoulder till all that Loki could see was the tousled gray streaked hair poking over the top edge.