NOW LISTEN CLASSMATES! I HAVE MY OWN STORY TO TELL THAT IS WAY BETTER THAN AHOGE-MAN'S LUST STORY.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT, THEY ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION!

One time I had to stop someone from running in the halls. DO YOU THINK I DATED HIM? NO. I DID NOT.

I RAN RIGHT UP TO HIM AND EXPLAINED THAT RUNNING IN THE HALLS IS A CRIME AND HE COULD BE PUNISHED. BUT INSTEAD, HIS FOOT GAVE A WARM WELCOME TO MY CROTCH. IN RETURN, MY CROTCH GAVE A WARM WELCOME TO HIS FOOT.

U-uh...Let your imaginations explain that...

IT WAS A VERY AWKWARD MOMENT THAT I WOULD NOT SHARE WITH PEOPLE.

BUT NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I AM WILLING TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU, I DO HOPE WE CAN TRUST EACH OTHER.

Now, what is my original story again? OH RIGHT!

As we all know, there is a Year 12 student named Wataru Miyamoto that likes to pick on the freshmen and sophomores of Hope's Peak. As I explained before, I basically peed on him for running in the halls. Or at least that's how he told it.

I am a very honest man and would like to sadly admit that that was the only true part of this entire story.

This was the day I decided I would get my revenge for the humiliation he caused me!

But I couldn't do it alone. That's why I had to get the amazingly most popular girl in the school, Junko Enoshima to help me defeat Miyamoto-teme for once and for all!

But she didn't accept so easily. Apparently, besides Miyamoto's story, there are many versions of what happened and many rumours. I would tell you but they are very yaoi-esque and are not welcome in a school environment at all.

I want to make it clear that I would not have sexual relations with a man who ran in the halls. It would be very disgraceful to my dear uchinchin.

So since Enoshima-san would not help me, I decided that I would get my bro, Mondo to help. Mondo threatened to beat Wataru up, but his entire gang was there. But Mondo took a very long leap and smashed Wataru in the face with his foot. He then punched the other "squad members", as the cool kids say; in the throats.

Then, I became the most popular kid in the entire Year 9. That is exactly how it happened.