Three days passed since Joker and I... Since we... There really was no easy way for me to word it, even in the privacy of my own thoughts. I felt some guilt for cheating on Derek - hell, I did even worse behind his back than he did behind mine! There was still part of me that wouldn't change what I figured would be my final encounter with Joker, even if that did make me a horrible person for admitting it to myself.

Rumors were flying all over the hospital by day five. I heard faint whispers from some of the guards about Joker and Dr. Strange - nothing that I could really make out. There was one person I knew I could count on for details, and that was Officer Mark Yale. He was the go-to for gossip in the hospital.

"Officer Yale!" I called as I approached him in the staff breakroom.

He turned and smiled, exposing his crooked teeth.

"Hello, Dr. Morgan. Long time, no see."

I smiled politely. "How are things going on your end?"

Don't want to look suspicious. Just get to the details about Joker, Yale.

He looked behind me, and quickly scanned the premise before his gleeful eyes fell on me.

"There is so much going down in this hospital, I don't even know what to talk about first."

Bingo. I knew I could count on you, you big blabbermouth!

I pretended to be taken aback as I leaned against the soda vending machine.

"What's going on? I'm not seeing too much action these days."

Figuratively and literally.

"Okay, so the Calendar Man was just brought in the other day and he's been reciting this... nursery rhyme? I'm not sure what you'd call it, but it's weird. He seems to know everyone's birthdays, and it's just super creepy. Y ou ever see him before?" He grinned as if this information was about to give him the winning lottery ticket.

"No, I haven't. I-" I was cut off by Mark's excited whispering.

"There's also what happened with Joker and Dr. Strange a couple days ago."

Bingo!

"Oh? What happened?"

"You're going to love this," he began, taking a seat at the long table a few feet away from me.

"Dr. Strange is all about hypnotherapy, right? Well, he tried to hypnotize the Joker. Joker made a complete dick out of Strange and tricked him into thinking he was actually hypnotized, implied that he was porking his wife - no offense - and laughed right in his face! There's even video of it!"

Everything seemed to slow down as my mind processed the information. That was definitely Joker, but there was no way he would have hooked up with Mrs. Strange. He was manipulative and knew how to work people - of course he wanted to push Strange's buttons.

Why am I even paranoid? Why would I even care?

"Here's the real kicker - Strange lost it and started pounding Joker." Mark laughed, sounding like Seth Rogen with his head stuck in a drain pipe. "Now Joker has to sign some legal papers stating he won't sue the hospital or anyone for what happened. Strange is temporarily suspended, and now Joker has a new therapist. Dr. Young, I think."

Does he spend any time working as a guard, or is he just listening to all gossip and talking to the patients?

Before I could say anything, he asked, "Hey, you used to be Joker's therapist at one time, right?"

"Yes, that's correct," I said coolly.

"Man, you really dodged a bullet there. " His grinned extended, threatening to warp his face into a twisted, Cheshire cat.

"I sure did..." I said quietly, feeling the sickening burn of jealousy.

Several more days passed, and things were pretty quiet. I hadn't heard much about how things were going between Joker and Dr. Young, but I assumed they went well. Dr. Young was attractive - much better looking than myself. I knew I was alright in features, but she was definitely one of the best-looking women in the hospital, and there were countless patients who ended up with obsessions with her.

A couple of weeks passed since I found about about Joker and Strange. Derek and I were growing closer again, and he actually made an effort to come over (or have me at his place). Things felt fairly okay, but it was always hard to tell with him.

It was edging close to a month since I last saw Joker, and I missed him terribly. He'd become the best thing about my job, attraction to him aside. Having him out of my life made me cling on to the next available person - Derek. My mind felt scattered - my body felt like it was being controlled by an outer being, and I was left to sit in the backseat and watch as my life turned into a dreadfully boring routine that slowly meant nothing to me.

Christmas passed and the New Year rang in without a bang. I started to isolate myself more from my co-workers, and felt myself dipping into depression. The whole thing, I realized, was completely stupid - I missed being with a sociopath. A murderer! Why would I feel that way towards someone I hardly knew?

During the first week of January, Derek and I were spending an evening in at his place. He was unusually affectionate - kissing me, cuddling with me, holding my hands. It made me a little paranoid and uncomfortable, to be honest. I knew something was up, and my paranoia had me convinced it was going to be something awful.

"How are things at the loony bin?" Derek asked as he brushed my hair behind my shoulders.

I clenched my jaw out of frustration at his vulgar term, but chose to leave it alone.

"Fine. No new patients, and nothing bad happening. I think a lot of them like the holidays."

Okay, that's definitely stretching it. Half of them wouldn't know if it was Christmas or the fourth of July from all the pills the nurses feed them.

"Mmm," was all he mumbled as he left a kiss on my cheek.

Derek, what are you even doing?

I sighed as I rested my hands on top of his; he was spooning me on his sofa, and while it was fairly relaxing, part of it felt a little wrong. Doing something like that with my own boyfriend felt wrong - I really was far gone.

"Did you hear that the Batman is pretty much M.I.A.?" Derek asked after several moments of silence.

"Yeah, some of my co-workers mentioned that. Maybe he's just on vacation or something."

"Well, they're saying he killed Harvey Dent."

I don't believe that for a second.

"Do you think he did it?" I rested my head against his chin, and stared down at the dark blue carpeting, noting that it was in desperate need of hoovering.

"I dunno. Maybe. It looks that way."

You fool.

"Yeah, maybe. I haven't really paid much attention."

"What else is new?"

Derek chuckled as he put his arm around my waist. I forced a quiet laugh, feeling completely dead inside.

He's being so nice - too nice, actually, and I don't even appreciate it. All I can think about is Joker - it's been a month. I should be over it by now. I made a couple mistakes, and things are heading in a brighter direction with Derek. I need to move on and try to have a normal relationship.

Even though Derek cheated as well... Just at a lesser extent.

I need to be admitted into Arkham.

"Something on your mind?" Derek asked. "You're unusually quiet tonight."

"No," I lied. "I'm sorry - I'm just a little tired. I've had to change treatment plans for a couple patients, and it's just had me a little stressed."

He mumbled again, not asking for more details (as usual). There was more silence of the awkward variety.

"What about you?" I asked quietly.

"Actually, yeah... There is something on my mind," he said as he shifted behind me.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked, trying my best to show some interest.

Things between us will probably end, and I'll be completely alone and hung up over my psychopath ex-patient.

"Well, we've been together for a few years now, and things haven't really moved forward much..." he started.

Great. Here it comes - he's going to dump me for Kaylee.

"...and I think it's time to change that."

... What?

I remained quiet, wondering if he was pranking me, even if he wasn't the pranking type. His hands moved behind me again, and I felt him reach into his pocket.

Holy...

Seconds later, there was a small, dark blue box held out in front of my eyes. He opened it with one hand, revealing a white-gold band with a simple diamond in the center.

"Elaine, I know it's been a bumpy ride for us... But I think we can start riding on a smoother road someday - maybe that 'someday' is soon." He paused, seeming to go over his poorly premeditated speech.

I wonder how hard this is for him, since this is probably the most open he's ever been with me.

"So... Will you be my wife? Will you start a life with me?" he finished after what felt like centuries of silence.

"Yes."

My brain didn't click, pause, or even stutter - my answer came out so fast it bothered me. I agreed to marry a man who didn't even love me, and I could feel myself falling out of love with him (and at a rather frighteningly quick pace). I continued my blank stare at his carpet as I felt him slip the ring on my finger.

He turned my head towards his and gave me a long, gentle kiss. His stale breath lingered on my lips afterwards, and all I could feel was my heart aching and a hollow stomach.

Stop. Forget about Joker. You're getting what you'd wanted for so long - a promise from Derek to have a life with him. An actual life! What are you even doing?

I don't even know what I'm doing. I need to get my head on straight and come back to planet Earth - this is good for me. Derek and I can have a life together, and I can move on from those two brief slip-ups with Joker. Maybe I can find a new job, even to my own dismay, and get some help for whatever is wrong with me.

Yeah. That therapy session would go well - "So. what brings you in here?" "Oh, y'know, I was in your situation once, but I screwed around with one of my own patients who happens to me a psychopathic murderer who blew part of Gotham half to hell. Isn't that common?"

The rest of the evening Derek and I talked a little about who we were going to tell first, and where we should consider having the ceremony. We kissed and cuddled more, and he made a few jokes about how I'd have to give him weekly blow jobs after we were married (what a pig).

It was around midnight when I came back to my apartment. I turned my cell phone on and was greeted by a voicemail from Dr. Arkham. I felt my stomach drop when I read his name, immediately thinking of every worse possible scenario that could have happened.

Does he know? Does that cheap piece of shit Lyle know and told him? Am I getting fired? Is Joker okay?

I felt my hands shake a little as I played his message, holding on to my counter top as I stared ahead at my tan walls, prepared to hear the absolute worst.

"Hi, Dr. Morgan - this is Dr. Arkham calling. I know it's your night off, but I really hope you get this message before morning. I would like to speak to you about Patient 4479. If you could please call me back tonight, I'd appreciate it, regardless of how late it is. Thank you."

Is this real?

I dialed his number and felt my stomach tying itself into a tight knot.

"Dr. Arkham," he answered.

"Hello, Dr. Arkham. This is Dr. Morgan calling. I'm sorry for returning your call this late - my phone was shut off."

"That's okay, Doctor. I appreciate you getting back to me."

You sound so nice, but I'm still mad at you.

"I know I ordered you off Patient 4479's case a month ago, but we've been having a lot of problems with him... I'm sure you heard about the incident with Dr. Strange -"

"Will he be returning to work soon?" I interrupted rudely.

"Not yet, I'm afraid. I can't disclose what he's up to at the moment."

Ten bucks says anger management and AA.

"What about Patient 4479?" I asked nonchalantly, though I was dying from anticipation.

"He was put under Dr. Young's care, but I'm sad to say that she has just suffered a horrible accident today, and will no longer be part of our staff at the hospital."

Yes!

Even though I was grinning from ear-to-ear, I made sure my voice sounded as disappointed as possible.

"I'm really sorry to hear that. What happened?"

"There was a riot in the cafeteria today - she'd taken Patient 4479 there for lunch, and it was said that he kept demanding to stay in his cell. He has been very, very difficult to work with since I took you off his case. Nobody is completely certain about how anything lead up to this, but unfortunately one of our Level Two patients, who's been spotted speaking to Patient 4479 on several occasions, attacked Dr. Young during her lunch session and managed to remove part of her ear."

Who is this patient and how can I give them a thank you card and the biggest box of candy money can buy?

I feigned a horrified gasp.

"My god! That's awful!"

"Dr. Young quit as soon as she came out of shock, and claimed that she was considering handing in her resignation if she wasn't taken off Patient 4479's case. Oddly enough, you're the only one he's been fairly tame with, Dr. Morgan. Several members of the board and I met up this evening and we have agreed, as long as you and Patient 4479 are willing to consent, that you should take over the position as his doctor once again."

"Yes, if you think that is the best decision. 'm willing to try again."

"Excellent!" he said in a cheerful tone. "I will personally discuss this with him tomorrow morning, and I'll give you a call as soon as I'm finished speaking to him. Thank you very much, Dr. Morgan. You're a saint."

Oh, if only you knew...

"Oh, you know..." I said in a modest tone, "I just want to do what I can to help."

"Have a good night, Dr. Morgan."

"You too, Dr. Arkham. Thank you for the call." I hung up and laid my phone down on the counter, feeling my mind race fast enough so I couldn't keep my thoughts straight.

First a proposal, now I might be back with Joker? Is this even real life, or am I dreaming all of this?

I felt something rub against my legs, snapping me out of my thoughts immediately. Maxwell was rubbing his slender body around me, meowing for attention. I smiled as I picked him up and gave him a snuggle.

"You'll never believe what's happened today, Max..."