It began as a game almost.
One girl would 'need to go potty' and soon after when the little girl would climb upon the toilet, the other suddenly had the desire to go too. Then there would be a fight which Bakura would break up and then the two sisters would switch, taking their turn on the porcelain throne. After each visit, both would wash their hands like good little girls and Bakura would then escort them back into the living room where the game began anew.
"Kura," Raven said while April sat upon Marik's lap so she could play on the computer. Raven climbed onto the couch next to the yami, reached over and tugged on Bakura's shirt.
"Kura."
He ignored her. Across from him, Ryou chuckled as Raven tried again to get her babysitter's attention.
"Kura. Kura Kura."
"What?" the yami snapped.
"Gotta go potty."
"You know where it is." Bakura told her. "You're a big girl, go by yourself."
As Raven gleefully went to the bathroom by herself to prove to the boys and her sister how much of a big girl she was, her babysitter heard someone snickering. Quiet little snickers coming from the direction of the computer.
"Marik you had better not be laughing!"
"You're a big girl Raven…"Marik replied in a sickening sweet tone. "Kura's little sweetheart."
April climbed down from Marik's lap and waddled over to her back pack. She searched through the contents for a moment and soon waddled back to the computer holding a stuffed cat. Once she was happily back in Marik's lap, she smacked the yami with her toy.
"My Batura."
"Take that you spiky haired… weirdo" Bakura cackled. He would have called the yami something worse but April obviously looked up to him and would repeat said word in front of her mommy. A very bad thing…
The afterlife hath no fury like a very furious mommy.
"Don't hit me with your toys" Marik growled as he snatched April's toy from her and tossed it carelessly across the room.
"Mean bean!" she exclaimed hopping down from the yami's lap with no fewer than three elbow jabs to his ribs and ran after the cat.
Ryou chuckled as Raven toddled in with a line of toilet paper streaming out from the bottom of her shoe that led all the way back into the bathroom. April came back with her toy and climbed back onto Marik's lap, this time catching him in the groin with her knee.
The hikari detached the paper from Raven's shoe as she passed him and began following the paper lined path, gathering the waste as he went back to the bathroom.
"Mawik mean bean." April told Raven. Raven climbed back onto the couch and once she was sitting comfortably, smacked Marik on the arm.
"Is this the reason why you told Malik you wouldn't babysit them?" Bakura asked as Marik glared down at Raven while her sister giggled as she clicked the computer mouse.
"If you had a choice between a calm night at home or a three ring circus complete with two hyper miniature clowns, which would you chose?" Marik replied.
"Big mean ball." Raven told him.
"Big baby." he snapped back and got hit by a stuffed cat again. The yami growled at April as he snatched the toy away from her and threw it across the room.
The littlest child toddled after her fallen plaything and her sister decided she needed the computer. She kneed Marik twice in the side during her mad scramble and then clocked him in the head with her elbow.
"That looked like that hurt." Bakura said sweetly once Raven was settled. The yami shot him a murderous look.
"Mawik, Mawik." April exclaimed toddling back with her toy. "Momma glass dolly say you mean bean."
Both spirits blinked with bafflement as Ryou came back into the room. Bakura's mind whirled at her strange words while Marik analyzed her exact words. Glass dolly?
"Your mom has a doll that's breakable." when April nodded, Marik continued, "Would it be a porcelain doll?"
April nodded, "Break'ble dolly. It say you an' Batura look like bad guy."
"Why is she telling us what a doll- that's not even here- is saying to her?" Bakura demanded.
"Can't fault the doll though, you do look like one of the bad guys." Ryou replied and his yami shot him a dark look.
"Mean bean." April said waving her kitty toy in Marik's face.
The yami reacted violently and yielded quickly to fury. He tore the toy from the little girl's grasp, ripping its tiny arm from its body. Not yet feeling his rage sated, Marik tore the other arm off and then both legs.
When attempting to rip the smiling kitty head from its shoulders the yami found it more difficult than with the limbs and pulled his Millennium Item from his belt. Marik used the sharp edges of the Rod to hack and hack at the neck until fuzz flew. Finally once the toy was nothing but a mass of fluff and mangled cloth, the yami felt better.
Until he heard a sniff.
Before April's first tear could even fall, a blur lunged for his throat.
"You fool!" Bakura roared tearing Raven from Marik. She had already bit him on the cheek and was trying to slap him. The elder yami tossed her back on the couch while Ryou attempted to comfort April whose cries grew in earnest.
Bakura jerked Marik up by his shirt and pulled him up into his face.
"You are going to buy her an exact copy of that toy and you are going to do it now." He growled an unholy light growing in his eyes.
"Or what?"
"Ryou, phone."
His light scrambled over to and tossed his yami the phone, who caught it one-handed. He dialed without breaking the glaring contest with the other spirit.
"555- I'm King." Bakura said with a smirk. "Sorry for being petty but let's see how well your hikari likes hearing about this."
Meanwhile
They were in the middle of drinks when his cell phone went off. The sound of Arabian Nights from Aladdin filled the restaurant and Malik tried not to look embaressed. The blond Egyptian glanced at the number, explaining to Brooke as he dialed.
"It's Marik, he's probably calling to ask me for cheat codes for his Civ game…again."
"Is it just me or did you change the ringtone for your phone?"
Malik blushed this time, "I did. In case anyone paged me around your kids again, I didn't want to explain why it played a song about leather pants."
"You and your friends are funny when they drink." She told him.
Malik smiled and listened to the phone on the other end ring and finally pick up. He heard crying and a quiet British voice speaking soothingly. He recognized Raven shouting at someone and groaned.
Brooke looked at Malik concerned and he shook his head with a smirk.
"I can see from the number, Bakura, you are calling from Marik's house. Is something wrong?"
"You lied about the diapers, you failed to mention the Wiggles fascination and the fact Marik would have babysat them!"
"But judging from the fact you're calling, you've realize why Marik isn't babysitting them?" Malik said with a grin.
"Yes. Because he's mean enough to tear up April's toy."
Malik lost the grin and turned away from Brooke. He spoke quietly into the phone, "Tell him if he doesn't replace it, I'll cancel his WoW subscription and sell his Millennium item on ebay."
Back at the yami's house, Bakura told Marik what his light told him.
"He also says he'll also rat you out to ICE and you can play online chess with Pegasus from a cell." He added.
"I just got my priest to level 60!" he shouted and Bakura snickered.
"You're not worried about the Rod getting sold?" Ryou asked picked April up so he could rock her while she sobbed on his shoulder.
"Or getting deported?"
"I'll take you down with me, tomb robber." Marik swore and Raven kicked him in the shin.
"Raven." Bakura told her firmly and added with a happy grin. "FYI: I have citizenship."
"So you have everything under control or do I need to cancel my date?" Malik asked. He heard April scream 'Kitty!' before Bakura chuckled.
"I want my pay in cash."
"Fine, fine." Malik replied rolling his eyes. "Large, non-sequential bills, same as usual."
He hung up before Bakura could confirm or deny his manner of salary and turned back to Brooke. She watched him with concern in her eyes.
"Nothing to be worried about." He told her. "Bakura called to make sure the girls didn't have any food allergies."
"Crap, I'm always forgetting something." She shook her head. "I'm lucky they don't have anything of the sort."
"Figured." Malik replied and smirked changing the subject, "So tell me, how exactly did you talk that friend of yours into a collar?"
Author's note: Really sorry this took so long... Please review and let me know how I did.