Lies of Love and Loathing

Ch. 3 A Consolation Prize

Hinata's POV

"Of course I'm here. Why wouldn't I be?" Naruto's tone is serious yet gentle at the same time.

My eyes dart to each and every angle of his face as my mind tries to form a rational answer for him, but when my brain comes up short of success I give my aching shoulders a halfhearted shrug. "Wasn't Sakura in here earlier? I could be mistaken but I thought I heard her in here."

This was the best explanation I can form for him, and judging from the expression he's giving, it only made him more confused and rather frustrated. "She was in here," he started, his voice sounding strained and as though he's trying to sort something out. "But what does that have to do with me being here?"

"I thought she invited you somewhere." I have no idea if the conversation I think I overheard was reality or something my imagination conjured.

"She did, she invited me to get some ramen with her, but I said no. Hinata, you haven't answered my question. Why don't you think I'd be here?"

"We won the battle didn't we?" I feel my face scrunch up despite the bandages on it.

"Of course we did, but that still doesn't answer my question." His voice is becoming more aggravated, but he still manages to maintain his gentle tone.

I look at my hands and pull them out of his, circling my index fingers around each other. "Well I guess it doesn't make sense for you to be here. I mean, I'm me and you're you. Besides, I heard that Sakura said she loved you."

My eyelids are open enough to see his eyes widen ad his jaw drop slightly. "She did, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, I. I, um." I feel embarrassed when I start fumbling over my words. "I know how much you care for her, and so I guess I thought maybe you felt the same way about her."

"Sakura was lying to herself." His voice is unwavering and has no trace of disappointment or regret. "She misses Sasuke and was trying to find a substitute for his absence." In all the time I've known him, I've never heard Naruto talk this formally before. "She wanted so badly to fill whatever void Sasuke left, that she convinced herself that I was who she really wanted. But I won't be the replacement Sasuke."

There's a slight ping of gratification at his declaration, but it's quickly overshadowed by disappointment when my brain thought this through rationally. Although he stated he wouldn't be with her to make up for Sasuke, he didn't deny that he has feelings for her. Just as he won't be a substitute Sasuke, I don't want to be a substitute Sakura.

Naruto's POV

Hinata's face gives nothing away as to what she's thinking. She's just lying there twiddling her fingers aimlessly and I'm not even sure she knows she's doing it. The silence between us is awkward and uncomfortable, and the longer it last the more Hinata's beautiful face begins to fall. "Hinata, what's wrong?" I ask cautiously. Instead of answering me, she turns her face so she's facing the opposite direction of me, breathing deeply and trying to keep a faltering mask of passiveness. "Hinata, please. What wrong?"

She shakes her head and when she does a small tear trickles down her face. "Hey, hey." My hand rushes to catch the tear. "Please, tell me what going through your mind."

Her hands, despite the IV, fly up to her eyes as she shakes her head again. "It's not relevant," she breathes out quietly and harshly. "It doesn't matter."

"Hey, hey," I coax, carefully trying to pull her hands from her face. "It matters to me, Hinata. So please, just tell me." I finally get her hands to her sides so I can see her delicate face. Although her eyes are still squeezed shut, she doesn't move to cover her face again. She doesn't say anything as she lies there, slightly shaking from trying to rein in her tears. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?

"Because none of it matters."

I take a deep breath to calm my frustration and try a different approach. "Why doesn't it matter?"

She turns her head away again and speaks softly. "It doesn't matter because even though you don't want to the consolation prize for Sakura, I know your heart still lies with her."

For the first time in a long time I'm left speechless. How can she think that I still want to be with Sakura? Yeah, I know I used to have a crush on her but times change and I grew past that. "Hinata," I mumble out after a moment. "I don't want to be with Sakura. For years Sakura has treated me as nothing more than a pain in the neck and has never shown any sign that she loved me. I got over her a long time ago."

She turned back to me and I can tell from her expression that she doesn't believe me. "Naruto, you don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear." Her voice still maintained the she hesitancy it usually does, despite her darkened underlying tone.

"Hinata, I'm not just saying things it's true!" It seems nothing I say can convince her otherwise, so I do the only thing I can think of to prove myself. I place one of my hands on her cheek and lean down towards her face.

Her breathing quickens as I get closer, but I keep leaning until our lips meets. I don't know what or why, but the second out mouth touch something courses through me. Even though I can't see her with my eyes closed, I can feel her jump slightly. My body urges me to push further -to deepen the kiss- and I'm inclined to listen to it but all too suddenly her head turns away from me.

There's a ping of sadness in me at the rejection, but that's quickly replaced with concern when I open my eyes and see she's unconscious. "Hinata?" I say, gently shaking her.