Chapter 1: Eight Weeks

Tap.

Tap tap tap.

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Emma grit her teeth and resisted the urge to smack her dearly beloved husband. His nervous knee-bouncing echoed in the small waiting room, only loud enough to be a constant irritation. Now that her morning sickness was here (ugh), it felt like anything and everything could set her on edge. She was exhausted, irritable, hungry, and did she mention exhausted? The only thing that got her out of bed in the mornings was the irresistible urge to hurl.

Killian, on the other hand, was probably about to spontaneously go out and buy goddamn crib before she even had her first ultrasound. The man already had color swatches, she was sure of it. The last time he'd come home from the store she thought she'd caught a glimpse of several pastel colors in the bag before he'd tossed it all in the garage and swept her up in his arms.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Finally, it was enough. She brought her hand down on his knee, pressing hard enough to keep him from moving. He grinned sheepishly at her in reply.

"Sorry, love. Bit nervous," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I can tell."

Her dry wit was not lost on him, and he chuckled, running a hand through his already-ruffled hair. He looked adorably charming, and while that was probably the brand new hormones coursing through her system, she couldn't resist the urge to pull him towards her and kiss him.

It must have surprised him, but he softened quickly, lips a soft contrast to the scruff that scraped against her cheek. It escalated quickly, from something soft and chaste to him nipping at her bottom lip and her groaning into his mouth.

They were interrupted by a polite throat clearing, and sprung away from each other like a couple of teenagers who'd just been discovered in the bushes. The nurse smiled, but Emma could feel the heat in her cheeks.

God, she was a grown woman with a husband and now a baby on the way. She should not be embarrassed by kissing him in public because it was nothing to blush about. They'd clearly been doing more than kissing to get to this point, and it wasn't exactly a secret.

The nurse, whose name tag read Emily, led them to a room and informed them that it would just be a second before the tech would be there. Killian took the chair while Emma hoisted herself onto the bed, feet dangling off the edge.

This was all new to her. In prison, she'd had exactly two ultrasounds, both external, one at twelve weeks and one to confirm that she'd lost the baby four weeks later. Neither had been this early, and neither had been done internally. Still, as soon as she'd told the doctor that she'd miscarried, even though it was a lifetime ago, he'd ordered her this one, right at what they thought would be eight weeks.

It had been surreal, that day that the test had finally turned up positive. She'd emptied the box and started on a new one, double and triple checking until she had a small collection of them lined up next to the sink. Killian had gotten home not much later, and insisted on a drive to the clinic to take a proper test, but she knew there was no way to have that many false positives. And sure enough, the beaming look on her doctor's face was enough to confirm it.

She was pregnant, and this was really happening.

So lost in thought, she almost missed Killian's outstretched hand, but she saw and tangled her fingers with his. It was different this time. Not just the ultrasounds and the tests, but this time she had him. She'd been alone, locked up, and desperate, then. Now was different. Now would be different.

"What are you thinking about?"

He was studying her, brow knit together to form a curious look on his face. She shrugged.

"Thinking about everything that led to this, I guess. Prison. Losing the baby. How things are different now," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. They'd talked about it, a couple times, but it was still difficult to let the words past her lips. It was easy to think abstractly about what had happened to her; it was far harder to talk about it.

"It's going to be different this time," Killian said firmly. "I'm not ever going to leave your side. I don't care if I have to give the company to Smee, I want to be there and hold your lovely hair back from your face as you relive last night's dinner, and massage your feet, and buy you pickle juice, and do whatever else you need me to do."

"Ugh, pickle juice," she made a face, wrinkling her nose, though he had definitely brought her mood up with his words.

He laughed, and shrugged. "Apparently it's a thing."

"Not for me it's not." She punctuated the words with a harrumph, and Killian leaned back in his chair.

"I'm sure you're right, love. I would hate for you to be wrong."

Her smart reply died on her tongue when a sharp knock on the door happened, followed by another smiling woman pushing it open, pushing a cart in front of her. They exchanged pleasantries and she explained exactly how the vaginal ultrasound would work while Emma undressed her lower half. Killian smirked in the corner, and she had to shoot him a glare to get him to straighten up.

It only partially worked.

Still, he was there next to her as she laid back and put her feet up. The woman worked quickly and efficiently, applying lube and inserting the probe. There was a little bit of pressure, and then it was done.

For a long few seconds, there was nothing as the tech adjusted the equipment, but then there was a crackling sound, and the steady whomp-whomp of the ultrasound. There was nothing much on the screen, not that Emma could see, but the lady hummed excitedly, and made and adjustment with something in front of her.

Suddenly, there was rhythm. Steady and strong, a thumping swoosh that could only be one thing.

"There it is," the tech said happily, and Emma wasn't a crier but she very nearly did.

There was a heartbeat inside of her, one that seemed to follow her own, even though she knew that wasn't quite true. She nearly tuned out the rest of what the woman said, pointing to the spots on the screen and explaining each of them. There wasn't much to be seen of the baby this early, but it was there.

"I can't tell you too much; your doctor will have to look at the scans and tell you more, but at least you can see your baby beginning to develop. And you can hear the heartbeat, you're very lucky. We can't always hear it this early."

Killian said something in reply, his ecstatic grin and the fast sound of their baby's heart all she seemed to be capable of noticing.

Almost tentatively, she put her hands on her stomach. There was nothing there visibly; she hadn't even felt like she was gaining weight yet, but under the surface, there was far more than met the eye. A baby.

Their baby.

Tears stung at her eyes, and despite doing her best to blink them back, they refused to heed her, eventually spilling over. Thankfully neither her husband nor the tech noticed before she could quickly wipe them away. They were engrossed in some deep conversation, but that was okay with her. She'd been through this part before; she knew all the eager questions and the answers. He was soaking it all up, a first he was thoroughly appreciating.

Fingers absently rubbing around her bellybutton, she leaned back, laying her head against the bed. She could swear she felt movement with each beat, but she knew better. She wouldn't be able to feel the baby until much later, and that would be a whole new experience, one she planned on being fully present for. But right now she knew she could lay back (literally) and enjoy this.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Swish swish swish swish swish.