Chapter 5

Kakashi sat in Gai's hospital room, quietly looking out the window. Gai didn't say anything either, which was even more unusual. The silence had been for a while now, Kakashi eventually coming to the conclusion that Gai was waiting for him to speak.

"The doctors said you'd be leaving today or tomorrow," he said, hoping it'd lift Gai's spirits.

"Yeah."

Kakashi sighed. "I didn't mean to put you in hospital."

"You meant to kill me, right?" Gai asked and Kakashi went silent. He didn't know how to answer. "It's okay. You can leave."

Kakashi shook his head. "Gai, I don't even remember what was running through my head. I can't tell you what I was thinking," he admitted, running a hand through his silver hair as he watched leaves falling outside the window. "Kurenai and Asuma probably told you that."

Gai nodded. They hadn't been so specific but he'd gotten that impression. He took a deep breath. "You are still much stronger than me, Kakashi. I didn't stop fighting back; you had me pinned. I couldn't move."

Kakashi frowned as he tried to recall the time in question. It didn't make sense; he would have noticed if he had restricted Gai's movements, wouldn't he? Gai could read the look on his face. "Have you told Meino-san?" Kakashi flinched at the name. "What's wrong with Meino-san?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I'm just not people friendly. She wants me to be," he replied. "She told me to come here. She thought you might not realise that I am sorry. I shouldn't have lost control like I did."

Gai looked genuinely surprised. The only people Kakashi ever apologised to were dead. "It-It's okay, Kakashi," he replied and Kakashi looked at him. It was probably the first time he'd ever heard a response to his apologies. Kakashi gave a slight smile, only visible in the small portion of his face that was uncovered by the mask. But that was enough; Gai could see it clearly. He'd long been able to read his rival.

"I'd say that we could spar when you get better but I think you wouldn't want to after this attempt," Kakashi replied and Gai shook his head.

"On a raincheck," Gai replied and Kakashi looked somewhat confused. "I will need to train. You are much stronger than me, Kakashi. Next time, we will fight and I will win."

Kakashi smiled a little again. "Okay," he said as he looked out the window again. "You're going to want to leave soon; I should get out of your way."

Gai nodded, watching carefully as Kakashi left. The initial hurdle was over; it seemed that Kakashi was starting to recover. Even if he disagreed, he needed the time to force himself out of his cold-blooded habits. He couldn't be sure but it would probably still be too early; if Kakashi was to return to his duties now, so soon after his recovery had begun, it would probably be reversed. He doubted Kakashi would ever return to ANBU.

Kurenai had been arriving at the hospital at the same time as Kakashi was leaving, clearly surprised to see him. "Kakashi."

Kakashi gave her a slight nod, continuing to leave silently. He took solace in his empty apartment, reading through the orange book once again, flicking through each page. It was such a contrast to his own life he was glad to get lost in it, even for just a little while. His life was full of misfortune and tragedy, one death after another. If he got close to anyone, they were sure to die. The others still wondered why he wouldn't spend time with them; surely he was a bad omen.

Asuma knocked on the door, entering the apartment again. "Kurenai told me you went to visit Gai." Kakashi continued to flick through the pages of his book. "Not this again, seriously."

Just to check if Kakashi was even paying attention, Asuma threw a kunai, unsurprised when Kakashi's instincts allowed him to raise one finger and catch it within the handle. It looked so effortless, years of training clearly demonstrated. "What do you want, Asuma?"

Asuma sighed. "Kurenai told me to check you're not starving again," he said as he walked over to the fridge, opening it. He frowned. "It's full."

"Ah, Meino…"

Asuma leaned on the bench, folding his arms. "Meino? She's a psych, not a carer."

Kakashi shrugged. "She didn't want her patient to die of starvation. She says that because it stems from the whatever it is she needs to make sure I get appropriate care, yada yada," Kakashi said, flipping the page again. "So she comes over and bothers me even when I'm at home."

"Well when you start showing more independence, I will leave you alone," Meino said from the doorway, folding her arms. "I've had to drop all of my missions and most of my other patients because of you. You're a full-time job."

"Did we expect anything less?" Asuma sighed.

Kakashi sighed. "The fridge is full, you can both leave."

Meino stepped forward. "I wanted to ask you about your visit with Gai-san today, Kakashi-kun. To see if there was any benefits we can immediately see."

Kakashi glared at her immediately, the cold air resuming that made Asuma stand back. He knew they were weapons scattered strategically around this house; Kakashi could kill them both before they had a chance to blink. "Meino, leave."

Meino folded her arms as if there was nothing to fear. "You can express your desire for solitude later; I don't have time for your complaining right now."

Kakashi's scowl got even deeper. Asuma could feel the chill running down his spine. "Well, I'm off. I'll tell Kurenai your food situation is already being taken care of," Asuma slowly walked past Meino. "You have bigger balls than I do."

Meino waited until Asuma was down the hall, closing the front door. "How was Gai-san?"

"Better," Kakashi said abruptly, even the turn of the page demonstrating his annoyance. "I thought you were meant to listen to me."

"Behind closed doors. The door is now closed. We are now alone," Meino said as she watched Kakashi's scowl that didn't move. "Do you want me to leave so you can be alone?"

Kakashi hesitated for just long enough that Meino frowned. "Stay. Just don't say anything."

Meino nodded, moving in closer to sit on the floor at the table, sitting in silence. She eventually got up and found a book, sitting back down on the floor as she began to read. Kakashi seemed unsure but content with the company. He eventually put the book on his face, slowly falling asleep.

"Kakashi…"

Kakashi woke, his eyes snapping open as his eyes set on Meino whom was looking at him with a concerned expression. She was sitting on the floor, facing him as a hand curled around her neck and the other pinning her wrist. She didn't even move, giving him the few moments to take some deep breaths and slowly remove his hands from her. "Another nightmare?"

Kakashi nodded. They seemed more and more common, or perhaps he'd just learnt how to ignore them previously, or perhaps that was just the fact he knocked himself out most nights via pure exhaustion or other methods. Then his alarm would wake him up a few hours later when he clearly hadn't been asleep for long enough at all.

Kakashi didn't know what to do when Meino slowly got up, lying on the bed beside him. "I'm not the kind to like to be hugged."

Meino nodded, lying in the opposite direction. "I know."

She lay beside him, keeping some distance as Kakashi slowly drifted off again. He woke again, not too long later with his arms wrapped around her, shaking as he held her tighter. She'd known he would find comfort in her being there, not forcing him but letting him come to her for the comfort he needed.

Meino could feel his hands curling into her so tightly blood dripped from her skin. "You should go," Kakashi said and Meino didn't move. "Meino."

"Is that because you want me to or you're scared of what might happen if I stay? I already know about you, Kakashi. There's nothing you could do that would make me change my mind about you. You had your hands wrapped around my neck and I crawled into bed with you because I knew it'd help you."

"I don't understand. What do you gain?"

"If I'm not with you, I have to continue to pretend to be Meino. I don't need to try so hard to keep my cover this way," Meino replied.

"You could just go home on your own," Kakashi replied and Meino shrugged. "I'm not good company, nor am I interested in your problems. I wouldn't be bothered if you left and I never saw you again."

Meino turned to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you are clinging onto me like I'm going to take you on, like I would care about you, like I would love you, you are sorely mistaken, and you should be glad for it. Anyone I have ever cared for has died in front of me, if not by my own hand," Kakashi replied.

"You are sorely mistaken if you think I see you as anything more than a convenience. You and I kindred spirits; we are more alike than you'd think," Meino replied. Kakashi didn't move as Meino moved closer. "Let me take some of the pain away." Kakashi hesitated, evaluating her past decisions and their success rate, and slowly gave a single nod.

Author's note: This took a little longer; May is always my busiest month. What's to become of this unconventional relationship between Meino and Kakashi? Will Kakashi open up more to the other jonin? This isn't a romance story. Tell me what you think. Until next time, Asami.