Chapter 6

Kakashi slowly got up, looking over Meino as she lay asleep on his bed. He'd finally woken up without a nightmare, though that didn't help when he'd clearly only had a couple of hours' worth of sleep. At least it was better than nothing; he felt better rested than he had before. He got up slowly and silently, Meino not even giving the slightest hint of disturbance. He walked into the bathroom, dealing with the pains deep in his muscles by opening his cupboard and grabbing whatever pills were left in there from his last injury. He rattled the container, sighing as he realised they were almost gone. He'd had them for as long as he could remember; restless nights with very little sleep left little energy to recover.

Kakashi threw his head back, feeling the pills run down his throat as he stood over the sink. He took a deep breath, closing the mirror back over. He didn't want to look; he knew all he'd see was a failure, the man who couldn't keep his promise. On the note of his face, he found his mask that still lay on the bathroom floor, pulling it on before he retrieved some clothes from the drawers in the other room.

He cast Meino one last glance, examining her bare skin that peered from under the sheets. She sighed, rolling over in her sleep as Kakashi decided it was time to leave. He wandered down the streets of Konoha, wishing it would rain so he would have a reason to feel so terrible. The memorial wasn't far and the hour was too early for anyone to be out in the streets.

"Good morning, Obito."

Kakashi stood as he normally did, staring at the names on the memorial as he lived in times past.

"You're late again, Obito!"

"Sorry! I was helping this man, he had too many bags and y'know, I couldn't let him struggle on his own."

"You're a liar!"

"Kakashi-kun, please calm down."

"Why did I get stuck with you three?"

Kakashi could feel a bittersweet smile on his face, curling at the very corner of his lips. Minato-sensei should have felt that way; Kakashi was a bad omen that had killed every one of them. Now he was standing there, somehow still alive when it was his fault every one of them had died. If he'd just listened and protected his teammates like he should have, they all would have been there around him instead of written on the memorial in front of him. Even his father, whose name didn't grace the memorial stone, just needed Kakashi to do his job and care about him then maybe, just maybe, he might not have taken the sword to his gut and died on the floor in front of him.

"I thought you might be here." Kakashi turned to look at Kurenai, a confused expression under his mask. She smiled as she stood beside him. "Good morning, Obito-kun, Rin-chan, Lord Yondaime."

Kakashi frowned. "What are you doing here, Kurenai?"

Kurenai looked at Kakashi. "I spoke to Meino yesterday. She suggested we start coming to you rather than waiting for you to come back to us. Even if it's just to stand quietly to reassure you we're here."

Kakashi scoffed. "Psychoanalytic bullshit."

"Well, it seems to be working. You at least acknowledge we exist now, and you went out of your way to make Gai feel better. He was all fired up after your visit yesterday," Kurenai said with a smile on her face. She turned back to the memorial, running her fingers over Obito's name. "You also have less of a murderous aura about you."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Go away, Kurenai."

Kurenai shook her head. "I didn't know Obito-kun very well but Rin-chan and I were friends," she said with a small, sad smile on her face. "I wanted to say hello."

"Her grave is over there," Kakashi said as he pointed towards the cemetery.

"You seem to be awfully sure for someone who's never been to see it," Kurenai said clearly as she turned to face Kakashi again. She grabbed his arm. "Come on."

Kakashi had her pinned to the ground in milliseconds. "Don't touch me."

Kurenai had a smirk on her face as Kakashi looked around himself. "You're slipping, Kakashi."

Kakashi began to stagger, looking at the graves around them. Had he been staring at Rin's grave the entire time? He'd known Kurenai was skilled with her illusions but he'd always assumed he would never fall into her trap. He fell backwards, sitting on the ground as he stared at the name on the grave. "R-Rin."

Kurenai got up, looking at the grave. "I bet she's missed you, Kakashi." Kakashi was frozen. She'd planned this from the start. He really was slipping to fall into such an easy trick. Kurenai sat beside him, placing a hand on his arm. "Pretty good trick, wasn't it, Rin-chan?"

Kakashi was shaking. Kurenai looked at him, seeing the panic in his only uncovered eye as she became concerned. This wasn't like Kakashi; he wasn't bothered by anything. If he was bothered, he was silent and serious. He should have gone into that hidden persona, the one that hid what he really felt, but instead he was quivering as if he was a child awaiting punishment. "Aren't the flowers I put here pretty? They were Rin-chan's favourite, weren't they?"

Kakashi was immediately gone. Kurenai jumped to her feet, looking for any trace of the silver haired ninja. Panic began to run through her; what had she done? Had she pushed it too far? She'd hoped that he was just stubborn and had refused to visit Rin out of principle; she didn't realise he'd react like this. "Oh no."

She ran to the Sarutobi house, knocking on Asuma's window as the young man groaned and opened it for her to come inside. "Kurenai, it's barely light outside," he complained, rubbing his eyes.

"I think I messed up."

Asuma frowned as he realised Kurenai wasn't going anywhere, reaching for his cigarettes as he put one between his teeth. "What did you do? Did you forget your chores again?"

"I tricked Kakashi into going to Rin Nohara's grave."

Asuma went pale. "You did what?"

"I thought it would help-"

Asuma didn't care that he wasn't dressed to be outside, wearing his pyjama pants and an old t-shirt as he was quickly out his own window and atop the next rooftop. "Shit. I don't know how to find him. Neither of us are trackers."

Kurenai stood beside him. "Where would he go?"

"Home, maybe? Did you try there?"

"No, I came to get you first."

Asuma sighed, jumping back down to quickly change and gather his things. Who knew what state Kakashi would be in when they found him. They darted to Kakashi's place, the small house he'd lived in since he was a child; the same place he'd watched his father die. They slowly opened the door, listening as the shower slowly stopped.

"You're finally back-"

Meino stood in the bathroom doorway, a towel wrapped around herself as she rubbed her eyes, still tired. "Asuma-kun, Kurenai-san."

There were many questions to be asked but now was not the time. "Have you seen Kakashi?"

"No. I fell asleep here by accident and he was gone when I woke up. He probably went to the memorial," Meino said as she continued to try and work out what they were doing over so early.

Asuma sighed. "Fuck. He's not here then. Where would he go?"

"What's going on?" Meino asked, tilting her head to the side as she continued to wipe her eyes. She felt so tired with the lack of rest that she was tempted to crawl back into bed again.

"Kurenai thought it'd be good to force him to go to Rin's grave, just in case it was purely a case of being stubborn."

Meino's hand dropped to her side, immediately awake. "You're an idiot!"

Kurenai knew; she already felt guilty enough as it was. "I was trying to help."

"Forcing him doesn't work. He wants to be in control and has this fixation in his head that everything is his own fault. Taking that control from him just makes him feel worse. He doesn't turn up late all the time because he's lazy or trying to copy his old teammate!" Meino shouted in their direction. She was trying to sound technical, hoping they wouldn't pick on the fact she really had only a few psychology textbooks's worth of knowledge.

She would say they fell for it, but there was more than a grain of truth in what she'd said. Nobody had thought of it as anything else; they assumed Kakashi was trying to be like the friend he idolised and missed dearly. "What?" Asuma asked, bewildered by the suggestion.

"Typical behaviour of someone who isn't good at taking orders. He doesn't arrive in a mess like someone who is genuinely late; he plans to be. That way everyone is there and he gets to control when and how they move. He acts as if he doesn't care so people try harder to impress him. He acts as if he doesn't care around people, completely detached so no one knows what he's thinking or feeling. That's why people listen the second he is serious; they're scared to see what happens if they don't. He's already been pushed out of his comfort zone since he's not been allowed on missions; he's lost that sense of control and that's why he lost the rest of it with Gai. He wanted to prove himself the better one, the one in total control of the situation. He's a textbook definition of a control freak if I'd ever met one."

The others were silent. They knew she was the psychologist but they hadn't expected such a complete profile. Meino hadn't expected they'd so easily believe her bullshit; she'd waffled on to try and cover the fact she was only going with a hunch. "You want him to let go of it. You force him to all the time," Asuma replied. "You're controlling him."

"Quite the opposite," Meino replied and that confused the other pair even more. "If he truly meant for me to leave him alone, I would do it. But he doesn't, nor does he mean it with any of you. That is why I suggested to Kurenai that you hang around him, leave him alone but be in his presence so he knew you weren't abandoning him. If he wants to be alone, he is more than capable of forcing us to leave him be. I just manipulate him to realise that he needs help."

Kurenai took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. They needed to think. "What do you suggest we do?"

"You two need to find him. Apologise and convince him to make the decision to come home. You cannot force him; it has to be his choice," Meino said as she folded her arms. "Meanwhile, I'm going to plan how to fix the mess you've made when he comes back, if he comes back."

"You think he might leave altogether?" Kurenai asked.

Meino shrugged. "It's not as if he has a whole lot to cling onto here. The only things he clings to are memories and those he can take with him," she replied and Kurenai looked at Asuma.

"We're going to need help."

"We'll get Gai. Anyone else and they won't be able to handle him," Asuma suggested. Kurenai nodded. "We'll let you know when he returns."

"Good. I'll be waiting," Meino sighed, turning back to the bathroom as the others left. This was bad; if Kakashi did tell anyone she wasn't who she claimed to be, the chances of getting away with it were slim. She'd always been good at picking out the easiest person to convince but in this mindset, who knew what Kakashi would do.

Gai, however, was doing exactly what they expected he'd be doing at the early hour; training on one of the training fields. The second he'd heard that Kakashi had disappeared, the man clad in green was ready to run to the land of wind and back to find him. They set out areas to search, hoping that Kakashi wouldn't have gone too far. The first thing Asuma did was check if Kakashi had left via the gate but the ninja on duty assured him he hadn't and would let him know if they saw him.

There was no sign of him anywhere. "Ibiki," Asuma said as they ran into the interrogation specialist. "Do you have any idea where Kakashi might go that's not the memorial?"

Ibiki, whom has just been heading back to the Hokage Tower after his lunch break, frowned. "What's happened?"

Kurenai continued to look guilty. "I wanted to help push him and Meino suggested-"

"Meino is still seeing him?" Ibiki asked, folding his arms. "I told her to stop. She's been acting strange, neglecting other patients because she claims Kakashi needs more of her attention. Kakashi will come good on his own; he doesn't need any more mental manipulation. Once I gave her that book to hand onto him, he should have had enough of a distraction to get by with time."

Kurenai and Asuma looked at each other, enough words being expressed in their glance that Ibiki sighed. "I'll handle Meino, let Kakashi come back on his own. He has too many ties to the village to leave."

"Meino said-"

"I don't care what Meino said, she's wrong. She clearly needed this break sooner than I anticipated. This kind of work can get to you if you don't take care of yourself," Ibiki replied. "Go home. Kakashi will come back. When he's ready to be found, he will be."

Asuma and Kurenai sincerely hoped he was right.

Author's note: I wanted to update quickly to make up for all the time waiting! Hopefully some questions have been answered in this chapter. Ibiki knows something's up with Meino so what will happen when he finds her? When will Kakashi come back? We're getting to the pointy end now, all shall be revealed!