The Other Side

Disclaimer: I still own nothing! Title and any lyrics used are from 'The Other Side' by Jason Derulo.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry there was a bit of a delay in getting this chapter out to you guys – and I'm going to have to apologise in advance, because that might be the way for the rest of the story. I started my masters on Monday evening, which I'm balancing alongside a full-time job, and it's leaving me with not very much free time at all. I really hope you'll all stick with the story though because I'm definitely not finished with Will and Alicia's story yet! This chapter has another re-working of one of my all-time favourite season one scenes, so I really hope you enjoy and as always I'd love to hear what you think!

Chapter Eight

This could be perfect, but we won't know unless we try

I know you're nervous, so just sit back and let me drive

"Momma, why we here?" Grace asks quietly, her arms wrapped tightly around Alicia's neck as the elevator doors open on the 27th floor. Night has fallen and she doesn't really want to consider how far past her children's bedtime it is, but something drew her back here, after the bookstore visit and burgers that she'd been promising Zach and Grace all week that suddenly felt like they couldn't wait.

"We've come to see Will," she murmurs to Grace watching her little face light up in a grin at the mention of her new favourite person. Glancing down to Zach, she finds him grinning up at her too. "You still got it, buddy?" she asks softly, smiling as he gives her an emphatic nod, clutching a bag in both hands like it contains precious treasure.

Even Diane's office lights are out as she heads down the corridor, but somehow she knows he'll still be here.

She ducked out early today, with an irrational need to see her children. Cases involving kids hit her harder than she ever thought they would, but this one… this one has struck something with Will that she doesn't think she's ever seen before.

She'd be lying if she said it didn't make her fall for him just a little bit more.

He's leaning against the back of a chair, facing away from the door with what looks like his phone clutched in his hand, and she touches her fingers lightly to Zach's head before rapping her knuckles gently on the doorframe, announcing their presence.

He startles hard, and she's about to apologise when he turns and she sees the tears in his eyes. Instead, she crouches down, letting Grace hop onto her feet.

"Go sit on the couch for me, guys," she murmurs softly, ruffling Zach's hair gently as he pouts. "You can give it to him in a bit, Zach," she whispers in his ear, "I promise. But I need you to be good for me for just a little while, first." Her kids scramble for the couch with no argument, and she lifts herself back up, walking over to Will. The flat shoes she exchanged her heels for earlier bring her a good few inches shorter than him, and she reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder as he slumps back against the arm of the chair.

"I blew it," he tells her quietly, rubbing a hand roughly over his eyes.

"No," she whispers softly. "Jesse blew it, and he knows it."

"No, Nyholm's right. I… played craps with that kid's life," he has the presence of mind to lower his voice for that bit even though his own emotions cause his voice to break, and she flashes him a smile, glancing quickly over his shoulder to see Zach helping Grace make easy work of scaling the couch. They're fine. "Alicia, I…" Will trails off, helplessness flashing through his eyes and tears threatening to breach the barrier of his long lashes as she looks back at him.

"Will, you did everything," she whispers softly, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He doesn't look like he's listening to her, even when she catches an errant tear with her thumb. "Will. Listen," she whispers. "I know you did."

He looks at her for a long moment, and it's like the rest of the world and the background noise of her children fade away. Before she has time to process what's happening, he's standing up and she's engulfed in his arms, the slight tremor of his hands against her back betraying his fragile state of mind. She takes a deep breath in and lets her own hands curl up and around his back, giving him all the time he needs.

When he eventually pulls away from her, he presses a kiss to her lips. It's quick, fleeting. Almost like he does it every day.

She wishes he did.

"Sorry," he whispers quietly, his gaze flicking to the couch as if he's only just realised the children are there. She glances over his shoulder herself, finding them entirely occupied in their own little world, looking at the pictures in one of the books Grace picked out earlier. Zach reaches over to point something out to Grace, and Grace lifts her eyes to her brother with a grin.

And oh, her children are pretty awesome, aren't they?

"It's fine," she murmurs softly, attention back on Will as her fingers settle against the inside of his elbows. "I liked it, actually," she murmurs softly and, feeling brave with her kids occupied, reaches up to press another, gentler kiss to his lips. He rewards her with the first genuine smile she thinks she's seen from him all day.

"What are you doing here?" he asks softly, stroking his thumb down the side of her face gently. The look on his face says he wants to kiss her again, and she reaches up to curl her fingers around his for a moment.

"Thought you might need to hug my kids," she tells him softly, referencing a conversation that feels like a lifetime ago. His eyes flick over to the couch then, and she doesn't miss the warmth that flickers through his gaze.

"You… I needed to hug you, actually. But yeah," he breathes softly, as her heart flutters. "Your kids too. This is exactly what I need," he whispers, eyes flicking to the clock on his wall. "Isn't it past their bedtime, though?"

"Mm," she hums softly. "They don't have school, and I'd been promising them a trip to the bookstore for weeks. So we did that, then we went and got burgers, and now we're here." His eyes soften a little more as she talks, and she bumps his shoulder gently with hers. "Hey, guys?" she calls softly, watching Zach and Grace scramble and almost fall off the sofa respectively. Grace comes barrelling straight for her own legs, the first sign that she certainly has one over-tired and over-stimulated child, while Zach comes to a hesitant, hopeful stop in front of Will, paper bag clutched in his two hands again. She grins softly, crouching down to rub Grace's back gently. "Zach's got a present for you," she murmurs, looking up to Will before touching Zach's elbow to encourage him.

"For me?" Will asks with a grin, taking the bag from Zach's outstretched hands as he sits down in the chair. The Florrick's watch as he opens the bag, lifting the brightly coloured baseball out with a laugh. Alicia nudges Zach again as Will tosses the ball into the air, and Zach takes a deep breath.

"Mom said, when we went to the game, that if I asked real nice you might play baseball with me." He bites his lip, and she presses her finger quickly to her own lips as Will goes to respond. She knows he remembers that day at the ball game, knows Zach doesn't whisper as quietly as he thinks he does, but there's more to her son's speech, and she listened to him practise it the entire way here. "Grace and me want to go to the park on Saturday, and mom said we can take a picnic even though it's cold, and Uncle Owen's comin' too but he's rubbish at baseball, and so," he rushes out, sucking in a breath as Alicia smiles encouragingly. "Would you like to come and play baseball with me?" Zach finishes in a rush, eyes wide and hopeful.

She knows her son is adorable, but moments like this make her want to wrap him up in her arms and never let him go.

"I'd love to come and play baseball with you." Will's answer is instant, and Alicia's smile only grows as he tosses the ball gently to Zach. "Why don't you hang onto this for me until then, and we'll play with it on Saturday." Zach grins, cradling the ball to his chest before barrelling straight into Will for a hug. Will turns his gaze to Alicia for a moment as he wraps his arms around Zach. "Besides, your mom makes the best picnics," he adds like he's telling Zach a secret, and she can't help but laugh because their study picnics at Georgetown really did used to make his week.

Mainly because he was such a shocking cook.

She gets Zach's arms flung around her neck seconds later, and she rocks back on her heels to steady herself as he bounces.

"Mom, he said yes," he stage whispers, and she forces herself not to laugh as she wraps him up in her arms. When she glances over to Grace she sees Will lifting the sleepy girl up into his arms, and she turns her attention back to Zach, letting Will have a moment to hug her other kid, just like she promised.

"He did say yes, buddy," she murmurs, kissing his forehead.

"Is it Saturday yet?" he asks excitedly.

Will's phone rings five minutes later. She sees the flash of panic in his eyes before he rushes off to the hospital, and wishes she could tell him it would all be okay. It's not quite that simple, though, so all she can do is take her kids home and tell Will to call her.

Grace is asleep in her arms before she even steps off the elevator, but Zach bounces in his car seat the entire way home, still asking if it's Saturday yet.

By the time she's put the kids to bed there's a text message from Will on her phone. Looks like I'll be here all night, it reads, after an update on what's happening, but it's the next bit that puts a smile on her face. Your kids are kind of a miracle cure, he adds, and she touches her fingers to her lips. They must have learnt it from you.

Saturday dawns bright and sunny, even as they head towards a crisp Chicago winter and Alicia finds herself stretched out on a blanket in the park almost without a care in the world. They finally, through Kalinda's somewhat unconventional means, found the evidence they needed to beat Patti Nyholm, and for once Peter is about as far from her mind as he could be, even with the impending appeal.

"So, Mr Georgetown is Chicago's sixteenth most eligible bachelor, huh?" Owen's voice startles her out of her reverie, and she rolls her eyes at her brother as he pops a grape into his mouth. "Just sayin'," he adds with a grin.

"You saw that, huh?" she murmurs, biting back a smile as she thinks of the article she teased him mercilessly about a couple of weeks ago.

"I did. And you are smitten," he shoots back, propping his head on his hand. "Spill," he adds eagerly. They haven't had a chance to catch up properly for a couple of weeks, so really she should've been expecting the Spanish inquisition.

"Who even says smitten anymore?" she asks instead, leaning her weight back on her elbows as she watches Grace create her own little world with the selection of toys she had insisted that morning were absolutely essential for a trip to the park. Alicia had been feeling particularly accommodating that morning, at the thought of spending the day with her favourite people, and she had given in with little argument.

A little further into the distance Will is teaching Zach all sorts of baseball tips and tricks, and her son's excited laughter carries just far enough to reach her ears.

"You're not protesting," Owen observes, eyebrow raised as Alicia drags her attention back to him. It's the cold that's flushing her cheeks. That's what she's sticking with, anyway. "He's good with them," he muses, tipping his head in Will's direction. "Wouldn't have pegged that one."

"Me either," she murmurs softly, reaching for the bag of chips he's hogging.

"Peter's never played baseball with Zach," Owen adds, a hint of bitterness in his voice. Sometimes, she thinks her brother hates her husband more for what he did than she does.

She doesn't like to dwell for too long on how wrong that is.

"You were never around Peter for long enough to see him play baseball with Zach or not," she murmurs. "Peter's a great dad, Owen. For all his flaws, I won't take that away from him."

"He doesn't make your heart race like Mr Georgetown though, does he?" Owen murmurs, eyes sparkling. She knows that's the closest to an apology she'll get from her brother, and she tosses a chip at him instead of giving him a response. It would only have been affirmative, and he doesn't need any more ammunition. "Your… tight lipped response," he declares dramatically, waving a hand in her direction, "says more than your words ever could."

"It's not that simple, Owen," she explains softly. "It's looking like Peter will get released next week, and the divorce is nowhere near finalised. And even when it is, it's not exactly like we can jump straight into a relationship. There's the kids to think about in all of this, and they will always come first."

"Reality," Owen sighs, "not the thing great romances are made of." In that moment, she couldn't agree with him more. Their attention is drawn across the park as Zach tackles Will to the ground, and Alicia can't help herself laughing softly as Will lets him win with little resistance. Because even in her darkest moments, there's the possibility for hope. "How is Will taking all that?" Owen asks curiously. She's dodged his questions on their relationship for weeks, but for some reason, she finds herself answering this one.

"It's hard on him," she murmurs softly, switching her focus to Grace as she suddenly takes off at a run across the grass towards Will and her brother. Satisfied that Will has seen the incoming bundle of four-year-old, she turns back to Owen. "He says he's all in," she murmurs softly, "says he'll wait, and I believe him, but it's not... we've argued a lot, recently," she sighs. They have. Making a plan was easier said than done, and while she doesn't doubt his commitment for a second, she knows that in a lot of ways this is almost harder on him than it is on her.

They have a lot of history, too. Some of it good, some of it not. The not has threatened to tear them apart a couple of times already over the past couple of weeks, when coupled with everything they're battling to figure out for a future that's nowhere near as easy as either of them would like.

But it makes her smile, just a little, to realise that they've got through it. That even after all their arguments, he can still smile at her the way he has been today. That she can still help him in some little way when he's sad, like the other night in his office.

That gives her hope, and today is a good day. She doesn't want to dwell on it too much.

"We're just not… really an us, yet," she sighs eventually. "And that's hard for him to deal with."

"You're not sleeping together, you mean," Owen cuts in, straight to the point as usual, with the one track mind that she loves to hate. She throws a napkin at him, shaking her head.

"Not that that's any of your business," she retorts, "but no, we're not. It doesn't feel right when I'm technically still married to Peter."

"In name only," Owen murmurs, but she shakes her head. She won't do that to Will. Won't let them start like that. She's told him that, but it almost feels too private to share with Owen.

"It's not just that," she murmurs instead. "It's silly things, like he can't hold my hand in public, or be seen with me and the kids too much. He can't take me out for dinner, or talk about us…"

"Alicia," Owen murmurs, and she looks up to see concern in his suddenly serious eyes. "You're talking like it can't possibly work," he points out, and she shakes her head instantly.

"That's not what I'm saying," she tells him instantly. "When it's good, it's… really good. And it is good. But for every perfect moment, there's bad timing," she murmurs softly, almost more to herself than him. "Saying I love you is easy, Owen," she sighs. "It's what comes afterwards that tests you."

"But you'll make it work?"

She mulls over his question for a moment, and in the end, she realises there's actually only one answer she can give.

"Yeah, I think we will," she murmurs, flashing him a smile as she looks across the park to where Will is helping Grace wrap her little hands around a baseball bat. Laughing, she turns to Owen. "How could I not, when I look over and see that?"

"Smitten," Owen mouths, grinning at her. "Seriously, though. The kids adore him. You can't think that'll be a problem?"

"I don't," she murmurs. "I just… what sort of example would it show them, if I move on with Will the second I'm divorced from Peter?"

"That it's okay to fall in love?"

Grace and Zach have dragged Owen into some elaborate game by the time Will drops onto the blanket next to her, looking thoroughly worn out.

It's a good look on him. One that seems to cross her mind more and more these days.

"You look exhausted," she murmurs softly, glancing down at him. His head is resting close to her thigh on the blanket, and she forces herself not to shiver, because he's so close and she's finding herself getting more and more affected by him, not less.

"Your kids are a handful," he murmurs, a hint of breathlessness lingering in the back of his voice, and she has to close her eyes for a second. She wants to hear him sound like that for a whole host of other reasons. "Last night was the first decent night's sleep I've had all week, I guess I'm still catching up." She opens her eyes again at his unexpected moment of honesty and studies him, upside down and sincere and almost vulnerable as he lies next to her. Reaching out, she runs her fingers tentatively through his hair, smiling when he almost arches into her touch. "Zach's pretty good at this baseball thing," he tells her softly, smiling. "And where did that little firecracker of a four-year-old come from? She's like a whole different person these days."

"I know," she murmurs softly, unable to stop herself from grinning even as her eyes dart cautiously around the park to check there's no one who could be watching them. Grace is still cautious and so incredibly shy around people she doesn't know, still struggles to make friends at school and is still reluctant to speak to either her father or her grandmother, but around the rest of her family (and Will), her exuberant, beautiful little personality is finally starting to shine again. "This is more what she was like, before," she murmurs softly.

Before everything that made her shut down.

"I'm glad I get to see it," he murmurs softly. She has a sneaking suspicion that Peter will have to work a lot harder to see the true personality of their little girl again than Will does, and she's not naïve enough to think that her daughter's growing relationship with Will isn't going to cause problems further down the road, but he's been a big part of drawing Grace back out of her shell and she will never apologise for that.

"Me too," she sighs softly. She doesn't want to ruin the gentle, affectionate mood between them with talk of Peter. Doesn't want another argument, not today. "You shouldn't have let them run rings around you though," she murmurs softly, "It was meant to be a relaxing day for everyone, not everyone but you."

"I feel more relaxed than I have all week," he tells her softly, his eyes sliding closed for a moment as she gets brave, scratching her nails lightly against his scalp. "Especially now," he adds, eyes opening to watch her lazily. "You're doing this properly soon," he all but groans, and she can't help but laugh softly even as she continues with her gentle massage.

"Properly, huh?"

"Mm," he hums. "As in, not in public and not when your kids are around." She's still laughing as he grins at her, and all she really wants to do is lie down next to him and not move for the rest of the afternoon. Because this is the closest to normal it's felt between them in weeks.

"Will," she murmurs softly, glancing up to check that Grace and Zach are still entertaining Owen. They are, and she takes a deep breath. "I know… the last few weeks haven't exactly been easy for us," she tells him softly, and he must be able to hear something in her voice because he rolls onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows.

She doesn't get distracted by the way his perfectly fitted jumper shows off the well-defined muscles in his arms. At all.

Especially not when he reaches out to brush her hair off her face. No.

"Alicia?" he murmurs softly, concern written across his face.

"I just… I know it's not been easy for you, and I'm sorry," she tells him, her words coming out in a rush.

"I knew what I was getting into when we started this," he murmurs softly, his fingers lightly covering hers as they rest on the blanket. "You've got nothing to be sorry for. If anything, it's me who should be apologising to you," he adds. "I told myself I'd make this as easy for you as possible, not argue with you the second something wasn't straightforward." She's shaking her head as he speaks, but when he gives her an almost self-deprecating smile she finds herself smiling right back.

"You do make it easy," she whispers softly, because it's the truth. Because even when it's hard, she knows he's doing everything he can to make it so much easier than it could be.

"Well how about we agree we're both sorry?" he murmurs softly, his thumb stroking across the back of her palm. "Try and talk a little more, before we get to the arguments?" She nods slowly, and he grins right back at her. "I really wish I could kiss you right now," he tells her softly.

"Me too," she agrees, flipping her hand beneath his so that his fingers are stroking against the sensitive skin of her palm.

"This makes the arguments worth it, though," he tells her softly. She smiles a little more, because he's saying exactly what she was trying to find the words to explain to Owen. "This and last night… and that basket of incredible food I know you've got hidden over there," he adds, eyebrows raising as he lightens the mood.

"Way to a man's heart is his stomach, right?" she murmurs, smiling as he lifts himself up to sit next to her.

"Probably the first decent meal I've had all week, too," he adds softly, and she bumps his shoulder gently with hers, concerned. "Long week," he murmurs softly, and she can only nod slowly. "You know how much Thursday night helped though, right?" he asks seriously, turning to look at her. "Tell me you know that."

"I think so," she offers softly, "if it's anything like what the kids do for me."

"The kids were great," he says softly, "but you gave me the strength to keep going."

And he goes and says things like that, and she knows that she really is falling head over heels in love with him, regardless of what she tells her brother.

Even as she thinks it, she hears the tell-tale signs of her family approaching. She can't tear her eyes away from the man sitting next to her though, can't tear her eyes away from the honest emotions shining in his eyes.

She knows she doesn't have long.

Nowhere long enough to say everything that she wants to say.

"Stay for dinner tonight," she blurts impulsively, and she knows he can see as much as she realises that it's not at all what she meant to say, but she needs longer to have this conversation with him.

"What's Saturday night dinner at the Florrick's?" he asks, grinning softly at her. She can see in his eyes that he understands. That he wants longer for this conversation, too.

"Spaghetti," she murmurs softly. "Grace's favourite."

"Sounds good. Will there be kissing?" he asks almost eagerly, seconds before the kids reach them. She laughs, ducking her head in an attempt to stave off the blush rising up her cheeks.

"I think that could be arranged," she murmurs, as the kids all but jump on them. The heat in his eyes as he looks at her over Grace's head makes her blush all over again, and as Owen's eyes flit down between them, she realises that their fingers are still a loose tangle on the blanket.

They don't let go for most of the afternoon.

And there is plenty of kissing later.

tbc