PART 4:

Cosima's head was banging and pounding all around, it felt like wherever she was, she was moving fast backwards and forwards. As Cosima's senses started kick in she could feel something happening to her that made her heart drop. Her eyes shot open, at least this time she was wearing her glasses. She was somewhere she had never seen before, the walls are dark and bleak with posters and decayed wallpaper falling off in small strips. The roof was horribly clogged up with damp and seemed threatening to fall down over her. When her body started to wake up she could feel something happening to her and that she was incredibly horny. Turning to look up above her she let out a scream!

"Whoa what the hell!" Cosima cried out, there was a man over her with death in his eyes, his eye lids half closed with his mouth gritting. She soon realised that he was fucking her. Or rather the other her.

"I told you to play dead, close your eyes!" He shouted out, Cosima immediately closed her eyes in shock and it just intensified the feelings between her legs. What the hell had she woken up in!? No no, this was not going to happen. Cosima beat her hands up, but they wouldn't move, they are restrained. She was laid spread legged and tied to the bed.

"Get off, get off now. Seriously get out now." Cosima shouted but he just grunted and thrusted. She tried to close her legs or do something but even her body doesn't want to move, his cock felt so good inside of her and it makes her grimace.

"Safe word or I keep going." The man grunted again, she could tell he had a French accent and it made it worse. It wasn't as though for him this was bad, he thinks he is fucking that other Cosima. The Cosima that isn't her. He doesn't even know this is happening.

"No get off me now, you fuck." Cosima commanded again. She pulled against her restraints but they did not even budge, they just ground into her wrists and ankles. The man slowed down and pulled out of her. It felt like a massive weight had fallen from her and she took a few seconds to regain her breath and control what was happening between her legs. At least he was using a condom. He sat up in front of her and rested in hands on his hairy thighs.

"What, what's wrong?" He at least sounded understanding now his penis wasn't in control of his mind. Cosima again pulled her restraints and he coined on. "You know this means I am not giving your that research contract, you can kiss the expansion goodbye." His accent was even stronger, as if he lived all of his life in the deep country side of France. He unlocked her from the bed and Cosima shot up running as far to the other side of the room as she could. It happens to be where the other Cosima's clothes were strewn.

"I don't care about that, where are clothes, I can't wear these." Cosima pushed her glasses up her nose and used some of the other women's clothes to cover her naked body. Her heart was literally racing so hard and she felt so violated. There was a massive internal conflict about what just even happened. It wasn't his fault he had no idea, he thought he was fucking the other Cosima. "Quick, clothes, I need them!" Cosima called out again.

"I thought you were British?" The man had climbed off of the bed and was stood with his rock solid chest in blue jeans, tightening the belt. "You have an American accent. Where's that from, the old west? Haven't been allowed over there in about 10 years." Cosima didn't care about this words or the slightly attractive way he said them, he pointed to a chest underneath the rack her clothes were on and carried on dressing himself. She knew he was staring at her ass as she bent down to open up the chest. Inside she found a really long dress top, some other persons underwear and boots. There were no pants or skirts. Crap.

"I urr...sorry when I am...I'm not the women you went to bed with alright, I am someone different and I need to know who I am when I am not...me?" Cosima tried to figure out what was happening and just carried on getting changed, she pulled the zipper on her boots and sat on the edge of the bed. Her hand went to her head and slapped herself on on the forehead. "Man what am I doing?" Cosima stared at the window for a second it had a dingy white lace curtain, she just had to figure out where she could be. It had been 12 years who was she kidding. The man came around and stood opposite her as she sat there.

"Hmm, what do you mean you aren't the same person?" The man asked, he had now pulled on a white shirt and was buttoning it up, but not high enough to cover the mist of hair on his chest. Cosima shook her head searching for the words, she felt so uncomfortable.

"Look I need to get out of here, I have like minutes dude and something bad is going to happen. You won't like me when I am that person..or maybe you will, I guess you wanted to fuck her, so maybe for you this will be great. But what do I know, I am in a dream right, there is like some scientist in my reality trying out some hella trippy drug. This is all fake right?" Cosima stood up and began pacing the room, really unsure of what her next move was after what she had found out last time. "Wait, wait, wait." She stopped still in the middle of the room her hand out and pointing at him. "What contract, what expansion? What were we...like doing here?" Cosima instantly went to her wedding finger and noticed that the ring she found last time wasn't there. There was the smallest tan line where it had been for quite some time, and that took dedication, Cosima was pale as hell.

"You know that sub-contracted, untraceable, ghosting yada yada research team. You requested an expansion, needed a little leverage to get the bill passed from the commission and so you enlisted my...services." Cosima grimaced. "So I set the ball rolling, got the contracts pushed through to final check, and here we are. She was so desperate to get that final part out of the way that she sent you here. The rest..." He smirked, itching his crotch which made Cosima cringe. "I am sure you remember." She?

"Hold on a sec, who is she?" Cosima had to know the question even though most of her body wanted to get out of that room and run as far as she could away from him.

"That women director, interim, person...you know your head, that Delphine Cormier." At that moment he grabbed a few cigarettes out of his back pants pocket and lit one in his mouth, taking a long drag and exhaling through his nose and mouth. "Do I need to call a doctor?" He said in some sort of compassion, but Cosima couldn't see past the image of his grunting, eyes half closed face. "You are acting strange, I didn't hit your head did I?" Cosima looked the other way. The evidence didn't add up, that 'Delphine Cormier' as in Dr. Cormier was somehow involved in getting the other Cosima into bed with this guy..what for a contract? "This better not all be for show, you're not getting the contract." He kept taking longs drags on that cigarette and Cosima hated the smell of actual smoke, it was her sign.

"Ok ok, where is the door?" In the clothes she was wearing she had no other idea of what to do, she had to get out of there, maybe running wouldn't actually help but it sure felt good. As soon as he pointed to the door she bolted, sprinting from the get go. As she flashed through the door a man was stood outside beside it, she brushed past him, and he called after her, he too was British but Cosima couldn't deal with that now. As soon as she skipped the stairs and broke daylight from the shady apartment block her eyes went wide in shock. France? How could she be in France. The Eiffel tower was just visible over a few rooftops. Her heart was racing so hard and her breathing was insane, she glanced at her watch trying to figure out how long she had been talking and how long she had left before she had no more time. In a heart beat the doors behind her swung open and someone ran into her back, causing her to almost tip over, she fell and took a seat on the curb holding her chest.

"He was quick, what did he breach the entrance and off he popped? Poor guy, although I've had shorter." The man was tall and skinny a hollowed but very well defined face, plump lips and black crafted hair in that typical long top and short side style. He wore a white stripped tshirt like those French mimes and some very very tight black skinny jeans with boots. He took a seat next to Cosima, although which one he thought she was she didn't know. She was still trying to catch her breath, not from running but from sheer panic.

"Who are you?" Cosima was still trying to piece things together, piece anything together, to make this whole thing make sense!

"Oh babe he wasn't that good was he? Made you forget who you are? Mind I have a few of those too...although one time I was actually drugged, god forbid I woke up the next morning not knowing Queen from well..The Queen-"

"No just tell me who you are please, just tell me who...no what..no, tell me who I am." Cosima's head was in her hands at the curb to the side walk. The man's arms flew around her in an instant, they were loving and warm.

"God what happened to you?" He sounded really worried, at least someone was worried what was going on right now. She leant her head into his shoulder as tears escaped her eyes. This may have happened only a few times but it was 1 time too many. She didn't know who she was when she...well...wasn't. "I'm Felix, you are Cosima and we are in Paris."

"I gathered that." Cosima said sarcastically, the tears subsiding. What good were tears anyway when they weren't your own. They both laughed a little.

"Hun, what happened? Tell me?" He leaned out of their embrace, whoever this Felix person was he was a great hugger and made her feel instantly relaxed, even if he was lurking outside of the room she was in.

"I am not Cosima. You don't understand. I am not the Cosima you know, and I don't know how long I have to tell you this. But I am not her-"

"Not with that accent, where did you get that?!" Felix coined on to the sudden accent change. "Spending too long in Canada that you have tried to be different? Honey, American is not the way to go, do you not remember what happened to America 3 years ago? Bloody hell they catch you with that accent and your over-"

"I don't care, I am not Cosima and this doesn't matter all I need to know is-" Cosima realised something. "-Exactly, this isn't my accent right, this isn't what I normally sound like? Well the other me, this is not the accent that 'Cosima' has?"

"No it isn't, but bloody hell it's amazing." He put his arm around her as their sat. Cosima felt distinctly vulnerable in no underwear sitting with her legs apart on a side walk. But this was Europe after all.

"Yeah that right! This isn't my accent, but this isn't the Cosima you know right, this is not who she is but, 'I' am, but she..the other Cosima is 'her'. Ok?" Felix took a long breath and then looked at her with a nod but also a shake of the head.

"Alright? Wait, what?" He laughed. It was so stressful! Cosima had to stop this, it was bugging her so much and driving her insane!

**London's calling**

Felix's glass mobile lit up he put it straight to his ear and listened. Cosima wiped her nose from crying and had to get up, but where would she go? She only had 4 minutes and she was in France, she couldn't get anywhere she knew in 4 minutes. More to the point why was 'Delphine' Cormier letting her wife screw other men, and why was Cosima pawning her body to secure contracts and expansions? Stupid Coisma, of course those would be her priorities and not getting out of this drug trip.

"Yeah she's here...no, why...oh...yeah maybe a little...West American?...bollocks." Felix's words were worrying her, there was no way he was going to stay with the happy British guy she knew so little. She shot up and listened to a few more words, now she knew the person on the other side of the phone was yelling and they were talking about 'her'. In the only way she knew how to deal with these situations she started to run. Forgetting the wind blowing up that stupid dress top, she bolted around the corner of the bottom street and into somewhere she had never seen before let alone able to describe to herself in an attempt to get back. It all looked the same. She was a pawn. Cosima, the other Cosima was a pawn, of course. Cosima thought to herself as she ran, again she over estimated her smokers lungs and had to come to a slow jog down the street, the lanky British guy wasn't to be seen yet and she hoped to god he didn't find her. She took rest in a door way to some apartment block and looked at her watch. God knows how long she had left. She slid down the wall and sat on the floor, making the mistake of hitching her dress top up as she did. The floor was cold, but at this point she didn't even care. Cosima was being used, she wasn't 'Director' or anything let alone the ISRO she was a pawn to get contracts and expansions and god knows what else. But it didn't make sense to her, Dr. Cormier was her wife why would she let this happen...unless she wasn't in control of her wife. Cosima knew what kind of control she meant but she didn't want to say it to herself. Her mind flashed back to the man who killed himself on stage and how the crowd cheered. They weren't cheering because he had killed himself but for the way he was eerily obedient to that Leekie guy. As she said his name there was a pang of pain in her left temple. She knew she didn't have long, whoever was on the other side of that phone was angry.

"Cosima! Cosima!" The British man was calling out, she could hear his running footsteps but they were far off yet. She got back to her thinking, this couldn't be as clear cut as it seemed, she couldn't only be conscious for 10 minutes, she was evidently conscious for the rest of the time, but she wasn't her. Who was 'she'? What did her mind do for the periods of time where she wasn't in control...who was in control? "Bloody hell you had my heart leaping women!" The Felix man found her, he was on the other side of the road, he looked across it and ran over he too was out of breath. "Well you certainly know how to piss off the big guys." Felix said, she collapsed in a heap on the floor in the doorway next to her. There was another pang in her head, this time it was both her left and right temple. "That was topside, they believe that you are not...'Cosima'. Wouldn't tell me why, the bastards. Anyway, I like this...less pretentious Cosima anyway, regardless of the crying and having to run. You made me run, I'll never forget that you know." Felix was just talking now, she took comfort in how he believed her but the same time knew he didn't just want to end it there, he would have questions and the Cosima she was about to become wouldn't be able to answer them, let alone know why she was in a doorway and not having sex with that disgusting man. Another pang. It was getting closer now.

"Felix, when I change I am not going to be me anymore, I am going to be her. I need you to help me, I need you to tell me why I'm not 'me', the me I am now all the time. I need you to find out, ask questions or just god damn tell me where 'I' go." She looked up to him and the pounding in her head was returning, it felt far off but it was getting stronger very quickly. He looked at her for a second and then a grin started to grow across his face.

"Am I am being punked? Am I on camera, is this some sort of set up by Cormier to get back at me for the cupcakes, I told her not to eat them?" Cosima was infuriated, egged on by the massive reverberating in her head. The pain seemed to be rising, pounding great leaps and bounds of thundering pulses all over her cranium. She grabbed her head and screamed out, falling on her side, she couldn't see her vision was clouding over.

"What happens after 9 minutes and 47 seconds?!" Cosima screamed out, she could just see Felix with wide eyes staring at her and panicking. She let it happen, whatever was happening was going to happen, the control shifting...control. That's it. In some messed up unethical way she was being controlled. Just like that man who killed himself. She was a puppet and she was becoming free.