Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is not mine.

A/N: Review and leave your thought, suggestions and constructive critics. ^_^

The Next Day

Next afternoon, Natsume woke up on his bed with a hang over.

He got up and instantly sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Never drinking again." he held his throbbing head and closed his eyes to stop his vision from spinning. He felt like throwing up.

Couple of minutes later he slowly walked towards his bathroom. He needed shower. But he would literally kill for some coffee, that was what he most needed. He searched his pocket and fished out his phone and called Ruka to see if he was free.

The dial tone kept on going until it cut automatically. Natsume put the phone beside the sink. Maybe Ruka was still sleeping.

"I'll just get him from his room."

Natsume took off his hoodie and did the same with his shirt. He splashed some water in his eyes to feel more awake. He looked at the mirror as he pushed his hair back with his hands. Something caught his eyes. There were couple of purplish red marks on his neck and collar bone.

He touched the marks, "What the h..." he stopped midway as memories of last night flooded his mind. He felt his vision spinning again. He grabbed the edge of the sink to prevent himself from falling. Knuckles whitened from the tight grip.

"Ruka..." he lost all the words. He couldn't think of anything else except for those memories. They felt like a hazy dream.

As soon as he finished his shower, Natsume threw on whatever he found in front of him. He grabbed a scarf to wrap around his neck and got out.

He needed to think and the headache wasn't helping. He went to café near the building. He got some hot coffee and sipped as he sat on a table near the window.

Natsume burned his tongue on the scalding hot coffee and didn't even flinch. His mind was completely in another world. "Oh my God. I dunno what to do." Repeated in his head as he stared blankly.

"Hey." Natsume looked up to see the certain brunette who was waving at him. Mikan approached him.

Natsume got up. "Hi. How are you? What are you doing here?" he hugged her lightly. He motioned her to took the seat in front of him.

"I was just getting some cupcakes ." she sat down. "How long have you been here? Are you waiting for someone? And you look like hell." she eyed three empty cups in front of her.

"Ten minutes, I guess and no." Natsume muttered.

"Didn't know you loved coffee this much."

"I don't. I am sorta hung over. We went to the club last night."

Mikan shook her head in disappointment, "Really? Drinking? Where was Ruka? Why didn't he stop you?"

"Hey, it was his idea." Natsume defended himself bitterly.

"That's not very Ruka like." Mikan looked a bit dazzled.

"Yeah.. you bet. He did so many other things that were not Ruka like." he sighed as Ruka's flushed face popped in head again.

" Ugh.." he wanted to bash his head against the wall as he realized he liked the way Ruka was against him, his lips, his body. But it was Ruka. His best friend.

"Like what?" Mikan noticed the scoff.

"Nothing. We.. umm.. we made out last night." Natsume felt blood rushing to his cheeks. He was so losing his mind.

Mikan gaped for a couple of seconds. "You what? How? Woah!" she was caught by surprise.

"We were drunk and we were dancing and he was acting all sexy and and and..." Natsume took a deep breath. He pushed his scarf aside a little to show Mikan the bite marks.

Mikan felt her cheeks getting hotter. Her imagination running faster than lightning.

She gulped. "Did you guys do it?"

"No!"

"Damn it!"

"Is that what someone's girlfriend supposed to say?"

"When it's Natsume and Ruka then hell yes." Mikan said in serious tone. Natsume wondered if she was a member of NatsumeXRuka club.

"I can't stop thinking about last night. I dunno what to do, Mikan. I mean it's Ruka! He's my friends since we were kids."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Didn't get any chance. I called him once before recalling any of that. He didn't answer and..." His eyes widen in realization. His gaze fell on his lap. "Then there's you, I cheated on you." Natsume looked at her with shame. The realization just sank in.

"Natsume please, we are not like a real couple we both know that. We mistook our strong bond of friendship as a crush and love. You really need to realize your true love."

"I don't understand what do you mean."

"I mean, go find your love without worrying about the so called relationship we have."

"Still I'm really sorry, Mikan. You're still my girlfriend and I went and did something stupid."

Mikan held Natsume's hand. "Stop beating yourself up like that." She felt bad for him.

"If you feel so guilty maybe we should just end it. That way you can go for Ruka if you want to without the guilt." she saw his face darkened with sadness. He deeply cared about her. He never wanted to hurt her.

Natsume nodded, it was for the best. "Hmm.. I'll miss you as my girlfriend though." Natsume smiled sadly.

Mikan just ruffled his hair. "Of course you will, I'm a terrific girlfriend."

"But I cannot be in love with Ruka, right? It was just a drunken mistake. Heat of the moment, right?" He sounded confused.

"I dunno Natsume and I'm sorry I cannot answer these. You have to figure it out yourself. Talk to Ruka, that might help. I can only listen and support." Mikan squeezed Natsume's hand a little to comfort. She did not know what more to tell the raven. It was Natsume's own battle. She wondered what Ruka might feel about all this.

Ruka woke up. His phone woke him up. He felt too groggy to even open his eyes. He wanted to barely move let alone looking for his phone. He got up following the sound of his ringtone. It's coming from the floor where his pants were abandoned last night before he fell asleep. Initially he wanted to change into his pajamas but after taking his pants off he felt like the fuss wasn't worth it and dropped on the bed. He picked up his pants and looked for his phone in the right pocket. The call got cut the moment he took out his cell.

He still tapped on the screen to see who it was calling. Natsume called. Natsume. The Natsume, he made out with. To whom he showed his vulnerable side, his animal instincts, his embarrassing faces and sounds.

"Oh my God, Natsume!" Ruka dropped his phone as he remembered everything he did. He sat down on his bed. He was so blank.

"What have I done?! Did I really kiss him?!" he stared into nothing in disbelief. He dreamed of kissing Natsume thousands of time. It was just one of those dreams. Yeah that must be it. He convinced himself, unwilling to accept the reality even though the memories were too vivid to be a dream. He ran towards the first mirror he saw. He fumbled to take off his shirt. Face paled in anticipation.

He saw the marks. He was covered in hickeys. That kinky bastard! Ruka's face changed into brighter shade of red in embarrassment. He hid his face with the back of his hand from his reflection. Soon after a rush of fear followed.

"I've ruined my friendship. He's gonna hate me." he started to pace around his room restlessly. "He was definitely drunk and I lost it because he said he loved me. He never thought of me more than his best friend yet I dared to love him more than that and now I've kissed him. I've ruined everything. He's not into guys. I mean the guy has a girlfriend." he sat again on his bed.

"No Mikan... Hell, I betrayed my other best friend too!" Ruka screamed and went up and punched the wall bruising his knuckles badly. Tears welled up in his eyes from anger and shame.

"I've lost Natsume." tears dripped down his soft pale cheeks.

He locked himself in the room. He switched off his phone. He needed time. He didn't know what to do yet. He heard knocking on his door several time through out the day. He heard Natsume's voice calling him. He heard it all. But he ignored. It was hard to ignore the person he loved but he betrayed that person. He couldn't face him just yet.

The whole day, Natsume couldn't stop questioning himself.

Do I love him more than a friend? I don't wanna mistake the bond of friendship for romance like I did with Mikan. I really need to be certain this time.

He couldn't reach Ruka to talk to him either. He went everywhere looking for him after he knocked on Ruka's door but no one opened. He tried to call but it was unreachable. It was already close to midnight. He came to Ruka's door, one last time to check if he was there.

He frustratingly kicked on the door before he walked away from Ruka's door.

He was worried at this point. Ruka couldn't just go missing without a word.

Natsume fidgeted on his bed worrying about his best friend.

"Where are you? Did I take advantage of you while you were drunk?" Natsume punched in the pillow beside him. "Please be safe." he closed his eyes shut.