So this was peace? Weed's sigh was almost relief. Then again, maybe it was relief. It certainly sounded like that. But at this point, relief would be a feeling that would be most deserved. The fighting, it had gone on for so long. Weed had never been used to bloodshed, being born into a peaceful life with his mother.
"Mother." Weed spoke softly in a whisper. How he wished she could be here to see this. She would have loved Ohu in its current state, that and being with her mate, Gin, his father, the leader of Ohu, at least, the former leader of Ohu. Suddenly Weed felt a pressure upon his shoulders. Although the final battle with Hougan had long passed, Weed still questioned his father's choice in making him the leader, especially at his age. But perhaps this current peace related to , it would be something unheard of in a crazy world, but Weed offered it, even to his enemies. Only through peace and understanding could victory be maintained in a way. Anything else would force the same cycle in a never-ending, murderous circle. Perhaps that is what his father saw– Ohu needed a young, new heart to lead it soldiers, someone with fresh ideals and goals.
"Ahhhh!" G.B. settled down beside Weed. "This is the life." the laid back hound made himself comfortable.
"Wouldn't you say Weed?" Weed grinned at his godfather. Honestly, this was good. Spring was all around them springing up as new life spread abundantly.
"Yeah, spring, it's so beautiful." Suddenly, Weed felt a presence next to him. Looking behind the forming shadow, Weed saw a German Shepard looming above.
"Jerome." Weed said in slight surprise. His friend looked serious for a moment, that is until a grin spread upon his face, and he too settled down amongst his leader and fellow soldier.
"This is the spring I wanted to see." Jerome spoke earnestly. Indeed, Jerome was glad that he had managed to live through this war. A few injuries, one nearly even cost him his life. But he kept on, doing it for those who had fallen, and for those who had yet to be born. "But how long will it last?" Jerome grew serious for a sudden moment.
"Hmm?" Weed piped.
"Oh please, don't think about that!" G.B. exclaimed. "Just when I got good and calm." G.B. obviously didn't like the sound of more fighting. Weed didn't think of it either, he much rather would concentrate on keeping the current peace they had obtained. But in the back of his mind, he held that fear, something Jerome probably shared.
How long would it last? He had talked to his father about such things, and frankly he held the same sentiments as Jerome. Gin was honest with his son, mentioning even after Akakabuto's death, war still followed. Or rather he was referencing the conflicts with a wolf pack, that and the recent trials they faced. It would seem that war and peace went hand in hand, following after one another in an eternal conflict of strife. Weed deflated for a moment. Apparently eternal peace may be a long gone prospect.
"Don't get discouraged." Jerome prodded, sensing the pup's mood. "You're the leader now, the others will come to you for guidance."
Weed responded with a grin, then quickly hid it away with a determined expression, a leaders look he supposed. Even if he was in a position of command, he still nonetheless was a child. A child who was forced to grow up, too early in some opinions. He had to remain strong. "The others are getting restless aren't they?" Weed asked.
Jerome nodded. "Ken and Kagetora mostly, but some of the younger soldiers are starting to join in."
This didn't sit well with G.B.. "Great. Can't they just enjoy good times when they happen?"
Weed agreed partially, but he knew the others were having the same urge to stretch their legs. It was engrained in their blood, particularly those who were descended from decorated Ohu soldiers. Perhaps Weed could feel it as well, being the son of the great Gin, the one who fell the demon bear, or his bear hound bloodline. Whatever the case may be, he still felt divided, one part to fight, the other part for peace.
"LEADER!" Weed was jolted from his thoughts but the approaching voice of Sasuke.
"Sasuke!" Weed called.
The Shiba Inu ran up to the trio with much urgency permeating his steps and his voice if read correctly.
"What's wrong?" Weed asked. Sasuke's breathes became heavy.
"I…was…there…I…saw…strangers!" Sasuke managed to breath out a few breaths.
"What are you trying to say?" G.B. asked additionally.
Sasuke slowed his breaths down before he answered again. "Strangers! I saw them heading towards Ohu!"
This news brought everyone to attention. "How many? Did you get a good look at them?" Jerome asked, his body strengthening.
Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, even raising a paw, but lowered it immediately afterwards. "Uh….well no…..I kind of ran before I got a good look." he sheepishly admitted. "But I swear! They're coming!"
Despite the lack of information on the lookout's part, they had to take his word for it. He wouldn't be coming here for no reason. Strangers? Good or bad? There were still no news of their intentions, so they didn't know how else to react accordingly.
"I suppose we should go greet them?" Jerome suggested. His voice indicated non violence in their approach, but his body said otherwise. Obviously he wanted to be ready both ways. Weed did the same, and so they were off. Hopefully they wouldn't have to apply the latter force.
XXX
"I don't wanna walk any more!" Wing whined. The little mixed breed pup plopped himself upon the hard ground, not caring if it wasn't comfortable. Anything was better than walking.
"Wing, please not now." Mayu pleaded. "I know you're tired, but we need to keep going."
"I don't care! I'm tired! I'm hungry!" Wing protested.
"WING!" Bat chided, ending his child's little tantrum. "Don't speak to your mother in such a manner."
Wing opened his mouth, but wisely shut it. The journey had been long and hard, they had walked for a great duration of the day. Mayu and Bat were holding up well, while the pups, not so much. Mayu and Bat had given so many rides to their young ones. By now their backs practically had imprints where their children settled. Well not really, but they had served as carriers several intervals. Wing had been the only pup who stubbornly refused to be carried, and now he was paying for it.
Annoying as her son may have been acting, she wished to offer him some form of relief.
"Bat, how far do we have to go?" she whispered to her mate.
"Not far now." Bat whispered back.
"You've said that before and here we are." Mayu smartly retorted.
Bat groaned. "Mayu, I mean it this time."
Bat heard a tiny whimper beside him. "Daddy, are we going to be there soon?" Mina asked, her eyes growing larger with each whimper.
"Yeah dad!" Kuro piped up. Bat had no idea how to react to this. Sometimes being a father still felt new to him.
"I promise you all, we'll be there soon, just a little further now." Bat soothed, hoping it would quench his families impatience.
"HALT!" A voice loudly called, its pitch picking up a threatening tone.
Mina Kuro, and even Wing bolted from his tired feet at the sound of the voice. The three of them hid behind their mother instinctively. Bat had no idea who the voice belonged to, but he stood ready to defend his family. From atop a small cliff, a figure leapt down haphazardly a tad as it stumbled in the descent. The figure now showed itself as a Shiba Inu. Mayu noted how small the dog was, it didn't appear very strong. If it meant trouble, she was certain either of them could take care of it.
"Alright you! Tell me who you are and." The unknown male stopped in mid sentence as he took a good look at the growling labrador.
"Wait a moment. You're Bat!" Bat's ears twitted in surprise.
"So you know my name?" Bat replied, curious as to how he did. Then again, he had somewhat of a reputation, even before he joined Hougan.
"It's me, Sasuke!" The Shiba answered.
Bat titled his head in surprise. "Sasuke? Never heard of you."
"Oh come on! We fought together." Sasuke took a few steps forward, but Bat, sensing the approach, only increased his growls and protective stance. Sasuke halted and backed off. A sigh escaped him, sometimes it stunk being unknown.
"Sasuke!" Three more voices followed alerting the family as they saw a young Shiba Inu, and two an adult German Sheppard and English Setter. The trio of unknown dogs stopped near their comrade, and stopped as they noticed the dog that stood before them. "Bat?" the youngest dog recognized that voice, and that scent. In fact, he recognized the other two scents with him.
"Leader?" sniffing the air before him, he confirmed it. Immediately, Bat bowed his head in respect, something Mayu had never seen before. More specifically, she noticed their eyes fell upon her, that and the three who curiously peeked out from behind her.
"Bat?" G.B. was the first to speak up as he noticed the female and pups. Jerome didn't know what to say to the whole thing, while Weed blinked.
"Bat? Are these yours?" Bat raised himself up, noting that his family was noticed. A flash of pride crossed his face, and puffed out his chest.
"Yes, this is my mate Mayu, and our children, Wing, Mina, and Kuro." the three pups made themselves visible as their names were spoken.
Wing and the others were still dumbfounded by the site, yet a happy laugh came from Weed. "Congratulations!" he cheered. "Mayu, children, this is Weed, the leader of Ohu." Bat addressed.
"This kid?" Mayu spoke out in surprise. A child? A leader? This was something she didn't expect. From what Bat had told her, the leader of Ohu was a dog who could rally others together, inspiring hope and victory. This took her aback, but she bowed her head, offering a simple "hello" as a greeting. Then she noticed their looks, they were brief, but she could see them, the Setter and the Sheppard, each giving brief glances at her. Her eyes fell upon Weed, the supposed leader of this place, as she noticed a similar expression starting to form.
"Wow! Are you really the boss of this place!" Wing asked excitedly, forgetting his earlier gripes. He and his siblings had left their mother's side, and formed a tight circle around Weed.
"You're just a puppy like us!" Mina noticed the age of the older dog. "Do you really know our dad!" Kuro curiously asked. Weed found this all amusing; it reminded him of himself at that age.
"Pups!" Bat called his offspring back to him, who of course obediently obeyed. Bat once more bowed his head. "Leader, I apologize for leaving, but I must humbly sake if I could return with my family. My mate and I believe Ohu would be the best place to raise our children."
Weed didn't need a moment to think about it. "Of course you can stay. You're all welcome here!"
Soft hearted, Mayu could immediately tell that about the young dog. That could cause dissension. For experience came with age. As much as she felt reservations on their choice of command, she felt peace at mind. At last she and her family had a home, somewhere they would be safe. All of five of them followed the quartet. But there she saw it again, brief little glances, and she could swear she heard faint traces of whispers.
"She looks like her, doesn't she?"
XXXX
Through the bit of an ache in his belly and his sore paws, Kuro was completely overwhelmed. Scents, voices, and dogs of all sizes and shapes were everywhere, and pressing down upon him. They were darting around him, or sitting nearby, or just running past his face like a whirl of color. He couldn't really tell what was what and who was who. He'd lost track of his family in the crowd; exhaustion was bogging him down, and things seemed to be fuzzy and defocused.
"Ah, and who are you?" Kuro jumped with a yelp as he came face to face with a giant black spotted head. The settler chuckled, moving back.
"Don't be scared– I didn't mean to surprise you. You're a really little thing; almost a pipsqueak!"
He moved his head closer, black fringy ears dangling. Kuro gulped.
"So, what's your name?" Despite the disorienting spots all over the dog's face, there was no menacing look to him, and he had a good natured tone. But even his friendly appearance still made Kuro recoil slightly. He struggled to find words as he looked at the dog's anticipating eyes.
"Kuro, come here!" Kuro almost gave another jump as he heard his mother calling him. Both of them looked towards the sound of her voice. Kuro turned his head to see what the stranger was doing at the exact same time the stranger turned back to look at him. As a result, he was close enough to smell the duck on the dog's breath, and almost feel the warmth.
"Well," the dog said, "You had better go. Your mother's calling you." He grinned. "I don't think she'd like to be kept waiting."
"R-right," Kuro forced out a stuttering reply. Stumbling, he quickly got up and ran towards his family. The last thing he wanted was to be left behind.
GB snorted in amusement. "Nervous little pup."
XXXX
The family made their way through Ohu, heading towards the fresh prey pile and a place they could rest. Mayu and Bat did their best to keep all of the pups together among the hectic scene, the sight of many others and the feeling of reaching their destination having given Mina and Wing a sudden burst of energy. To them, it seemed like the whole group was up and at arms to greet them, more dogs than they had ever imagined coming towards them in one place.
In truth, barely an eighth of the group was greeting them, the majority of the dogs just still lazing about where they were or barely giving a little acknowledgement to the news of newcomers. Ohu was attracting more dogs than ever now, so there was no need for them to get up in a tussle over a lot that wasn't even composed of old war buddies or packmates. There were greetings specifically for Bat, though they often extended to Mayu and the puppies once they caught sight of them.
As Mayu picked up the tired Kuro in order to carry him, she couldn't help but note that most of the greetings were directed towards Bat before they turned to her. She wouldn't regularly have a problem with this, but it wasn't as if they were greeting Bat just because he was an old comrade. It was as if they had a small fear that talking to her first would be offensive; 'flirting' with 'Bat's female' would set him off. It was like they were seeking permission from him to talk to her.
Mayu felt a sting of indignation, Kuro's scruff the only thing preventing her from speaking. Her hackles bristled slightly. Oh, she could see their thoughts now. There weren't many females here– that much she could already see– and it was obvious that she was going to have to claw herself out a place above a walking pair of ovaries. She had barely returned back to the male dominated world, and Mayu was already beginning to feel a challenge forming among the warm welcome.
Wing and Mina both wished they had several different sets of eyes so that they could see all that was around them better. Turning their heads back and forth was just not a good enough way to take everything in. The forest had been a world of a sunken stone den and snarled piles of brambles and bushes, of the smell of the fox and coyote that haunted their parents and made them stay closer together. Ohu, on the other hand, was a place of sharp hills, mountains, and valleys; giant boulders and razors of granite or slate sticking out of the ground. Trees latched on to every foot of ground that they could that wasn't covered in rock, though they left enough space to run through or have clearings here and there.
If there was any smell of fox, then it was drowning in the scents of dogs. Hounds, settlers, and mutts of all breeds were spread out over the ground. Some were talking or arguing, others were sleeping, or walking about all over the place like a nest of disturbed ants, and a small portion was eating, bird, rabbit, or scaly creature (Fish? thought Wing) held between their paws as they tore away at it. A few more dogs were walking in from the forest and rejoining with the crowd, sitting down or pausing to dispense a few friendly insults or cuffs before moving on.
There were next to no puppies.
Mina felt herself beginning to yawn, pausing for a moment as her father stopped to have a brief chat with one of the new dogs. Next to her, Kuro hung from their mother's mouth, close to asleep. Wing, on the other hand, was shoving away his sleepiness to look at those surrounding them. This was an opportunity he just couldn't miss, no matter how tired he was.
Swallowing down his yawns, he almost ran into Bat as the latter stopped suddenly. Mina gave a small laugh. Wing shot her a dirty look before backing up and watching his father. He twitched his ears at them.
"We can find a place in one of the spots nearby. We'll eat later."
Mayu adjusted Kuro's scruff in her mouth before giving Mina and Kuro a look, one that told them to follow. They didn't try to argue. Running after their parents, the two scrambled to find the best place to sleep on a nearby springy patch of ground. They crashed into each other, having a brief tussle before they decided that they were too tired to continue.
Mina rolled over so that she was a few inches away from Wing and wearily made several circles before settling down in the grass. She watched the activity around them. Nothing had been this loud before, and there was no den. Just a patch of dirt and grass. Next to her, her family settled down, Mayu letting loose of Kuro and allowing him to find a bed. He barely staggered over a few inches away before he was out for the count, not bothering to make a comfort circle.
Wing plopped down next to his father, sprawling out as if every single bit of space was his and completely disregarding his sister. Mayu watched her exhausted family rest, though she and Bat didn't join in on their nap. They simply laid down, heads raised and stoic, though taking every-thing in. The greetings were not as frequent as before, and so the two were left to watch the shifting crowd and make sure none of the puppies got into trouble when they awakened.
As much as Mayu felt tired, and irked by the tiny grain of sand that was a challenge in the pearl's mouth of Ohu, she for once didn't worry about the foxes and predators. Stifling a tired yawn, she focused on the amount of dogs around her. Though they had warmly welcomed her into the fold, this wasn't the first time she'd been mislead to join a big 'family.' Still…
Mayu couldn't bring herself to pull out any paranoia considering Ohu. As she watched the different dogs mill around them, replying to a new greeting now and then or nodding in response, her uneasiness was minimal. Maybe the lack of emotion was thanks to her exhaustion. She wasn't too sure– emotions had never been repressed by her tiredness before; particularly any fiery , all she could do was rest and then wait to see what happened.
XXXX
A Day Later
XXXX
There seemed to be mostly ground prey here at Ohu, with only a few birds here and there.
Mayu didn't feel as hungry as before as she watched several more fresh kills deposited spread out among friends or tauntingly thrown around into others' faces, followed by uproarious laughter. Bat was taking care of the puppies for a few minutes, leaving her to find some food for them and get used to Ohu on her own.
It was her second day, and she had been mostly accepted without another look. Weed and the German Sheppard– whose name was apparently Jerome– had paid her and the family a visit yesterday. It had been a quick one, with a few questions about the outside here and there. Relatively unimportant.
Mayu felt a small twinge as she watched two dogs playfully quarrel and throw a squirrel back and forth, snapping in the air and throwing the dead animal by its tail. The young leader had barely questioned her about any intentions or purposes regarding her arrival to Ohu. Seeing she was Bat's mate was apparently enough for him, though the German Sheppard– Jerome– had had a slightly cool undercurrent to his voice. Like he should.
One of the dogs finally ended the game of squirrel snatching by crunching the body down and beginning to eat it. Protesting, the other dog attempted to his prey back, but to no avail. It was swallowed down, leaving the indignant dog to have to wait for the next hunting trip to leave camp before he could have his lunch.
Mayu found that she had been annoyed by the naïve and open way the leader had greeted them all. She could definitely understand them trusting her for being related to Bat, an old comrade of theirs, but he had pulled in her into the fold a little too swiftly. If he did the same with marauding strangers, than maybe he was too naïve. It was good that his apparent deputy or advisor main-tained at least a small level of suspicion. Mayu found herself approving. There was kindness, and then there was blindness. The leader seemed to be a bit of both. Possibly from his young age. But the experience would come sure enough.
"Oi, a new hunt's starting. Who's coming this time?" a large dog roared, standing and preparing to leave. Three or four other dogs scrambled to their feet, a few giving some stretches before they did. Mayu herself rose up, walking forward. She didn't like any of the spare pieces of prey that had been lying around– maybe going on a hunt would yield better results. Like birds.
Following the small group, they plodded away from the masses, walking in a loose triangle. There was a spaniel mix, a Shiba Inu, some sort of mutt, a hulking but young mastiff, a young Saluki, and an Irish Settler, Mayu not included in the list. The mutt was leading the party out, though he took to it without any serious aim, just a wayward and lazy attempt to find food. The rest of the party set out to the goal with a far more vigorous air; the spaniel and mastiff heading off to look by a small creek, Shiba Inu searching the brushes and bushes with the settler, and Mayu stuck with the mutt and the young Saluki.
The group drifted off towards the more open areas, where birds were more likely to lurk. Mayu observed the Saluki before they set off, mentally making sure to watch what spots he searched in for birds. Seeing they shared tastes, there was no doubt in her mind that he would know the most plentiful places for them. All she had to do was give him a brief watch before heading out on her own.
"Hoi, looks like I got stuck with the bird dogs," the mutt commented. His speckled ears raised, one shorter than the other. "Going to be hard to tell you two apart in the dark, eh, George?"
"Shut up, Bink," the Saluki said disinterestedly, and then the talking was over.
Mayu didn't bother replying to him either. The mutt had been obviously trying to start up a conversation, not aiming to present an actual argument– it would be easy to tell the two apart, seeing "George", though much younger than Mayu, was distinctly bigger, and with defining face scars to go with his size. An adult, but not one as old as Mayu. Much like some of the rouges she'd encountered back before Bat and the forest came along, around the same time frame she'd been forced to eat a rotting fish out of hunger– all of them very unsocial and cocky in general. Not that they didn't have the strength and speed to back up their cockiness.
The best thing to do here would be to leave the Saluki to his own devices and thoughts: he certainly wasn't pleasant company, or in any hurry to talk to either of them. Mayu hadn't been interested in doing so to start with, seeing she just wanted food, preparing to save the socializing for when she reached the camp again, but this just put the cap on it.
The mutt ventured off to find some smaller land prey in the bushes, leaving the two Salukis to hunt the aerial pickings. The three split apart, quickly picking up on scents and beginning to stalk them. Mayu had no need to watch where George headed, as the heady scent of grouse filled her nose a mere three minutes later from when she began to stalk. She could ask about choice spots later– or even better yet, find them herself.
Mayu began to stalk the grouse.
XXXX
Close to an hour later, the bird was hanging from Mayu's mouth, limp and cold. It matched the pheasant which drooped out of the corners of the other Saluki's mouth, and the rabbit which hung from the mutt's. Mayu felt a little bit of triumph in catching it. She would take it back to Bat and everyone else, seeing she herself wasn't really all that hungry. A few unfortunate voles had taken the edge of her hunger a little while earlier.
Now with their mouths full, the three walked back to the camp. None of them said anything to each other. There was really nothing to discuss, though the atmosphere was anything but tense or unwelcoming. It just felt good to be walking in a group, to have some sort of company and a beating heart nearby.
eorge was slightly in front of the group, so they just automatically drifted in his direction as they went into the camp. The others who had come out on the trip would come back in by themselves in a little while– they still wanted to try their chances longer. Mayu didn't object.
She lazily followed George inside the camp, the mutt to the left of her, George to her left and center. As they came through the bushes, there were a few yelled greetings, and a comment or two.
"Hey, Bink, what the hell have you been up to? Looking for scraps? That thing is pitiful!"
"Shut up, whelp, it's better than you can do on a good day!" Bink immediately fired back.
"Nice birds you got there."
"Nice? Pfft! Hey, George," a brown furred Great Dane called teasingly, "where've you been? Wandering around the forest?"
"Shut up, Ken," George said through his clenched teeth in order to keep the bird from falling out.
Highly amused, Mayu walked past them to deliver the bird. No doubt Wing would be driving Bat crazy by now.
"You going to take the bird to mom?"
Mina was probably hungry, too.
"In a minute."
Kuro might have been hungry, but smallest one of her bunch never complained. He needed to become a bit more aggressive, or Wing would always walk over him. Maybe she could try and help him out with it.
Then, the world stopped.
Mayu hadn't known it was stopping until she'd looked up and seen the dog relaxing under the shade of a bush. For a moment, the world had tuned out as she'd seen the dog's face. Old, with the once white fur shot in with some grey. Not too much, though. There was white yet inside that coat. A sign of being well taken care of, even in age. There were not too many scars on the slender muzzle and legs, though there was some wrinkles under the eyes. But they were few. Another sign of good care in age.
For what seemed to be a few minutes, but what Mayu guessed was really seconds, the dog was looking towards the approaching Saluki and the Great Dane. They were still far off from everything, but it was the way the dog was looking towards them that seemed to stab the knife in Mayu's belly in further. Awaiting them. Awaiting those that had called her mom, because that what was she was. Mom. To them. And to two other someone elses. Someone who wasn't here anymore, brought down in the beginning of prime, and someone who was slowly choking on the bird hanging out of her mouth at this very moment.
Then, the other dogs damned her. They opened their mouths, and their words floated through the frozen world's surface far faster than their movements.
"Cross–"
Mayu didn't hear what else they had said. The blood pounding through her head and making her fur bristle up like she'd bitten into a power line silenced everything else out with its savage roar. All she heard was Cross's ticket to hell being punched in.
The world wasn't really frozen. Mayu just happened to be seeing everything three times faster than everyone else thanks to the adrenaline that was tearing through her veins. The only one who existed and needed to receive any of her actions was the dog in front of her, the one lounging under the bushes. Who was well taken care of.
In a few quick and pounding steps, Mayu had arrived next to her. She wasn't looking up fast enough. The bird fell out of her mouth, neck bitten in two. Cross only had a few seconds to look up and catch sight of the unholy terror that was the expression on Mayu's face, not even enough to get out a single word to begin a snarl.
"You."
Mayu's vicious snarl curdled the air around her. She might've heard a few voices nearby, or seen some actions, but they were nothing. She was looking at the surprised expression on the dog's face. It wasn't changing yet. Nothing. She had forgotten. She had forgotten.
If Mayu's rage was immense before, some sort of floodgate deep inside her completely snapped, going to pieces and shattering into nothing. This floodgate had shattered only once before: when Mao had been taken to be sacrificed. Even then, it was not a real breaking, just an opening. On the other hand, this was a complete and utter deconstruction, an explosion. Shock may have been the dynamite, but rage was the fuse… or had been. Because right then, the floodgate exploded.
"CROSS, YOU FUCKING TRAITOROUS BITCH!"
Mayu's roar cut the very air open, a screaming snarl exploding from her mouth. There were some distant barks of surprise, and some swearing nearby, but Mayu ignored the sound of footsteps rushing over or backing away. The older Saluki had gotten up, a snarl beginning to form her lips, but Mayu's head was pounding too hard for her to care. How dare she forget. How dare she throw everything away, like they were garbage from an unimportant trash pile!
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO AFTER THESE EIGHT YEARS?"
Something flickered on the older dog's face. The footsteps had gotten more urgent, and dogs were beginning to gather. Mayu's snarl was almost to the point of ripping her very throat open.
"WHEN YOU'RE A FUCKING MOTHER, YOU ACTUALLY COME BACK! YOU DON'T LEAVE THEM TO ROT SOMEWHERE UNTIL THEY CAN COME AND FIND YOU AFTER A DECADE OR SO!"
At that point, what Mayu wanted to happen did: a look of recognizing clicked inside Cross. A look of complete shock and horror spread across her face, as if a dead corpse had just crawled out of the ground. Except much, much worse. Which was exactly what Mayu planned to be.
"No– it's impossible– you're… you're…"Cross's words seemed to be strangled in her throat. Mayu could hear snarling coming up from behind her as George and Ken swore, tearing their way through the crowd. No doubt they were planning to take her down for this, but Mayu could've cared less. Her blood was so boiling, fighting them would be welcome. But not until she'd gotten this out. Because once she'd said this, she could go to hell itself and get some satisfaction out of it.
"That's right," Mayu said, venom and biting sarcasm dripping from her voice, "It's your dear daughter, here to see you after so long."
XXXX
Cross would have to say her life was good, her life in Ohu that is. Everything was perfect. Though her past had been filled with trials, she had found everything she needed here, a mate, children, comrades, a perfect family, the former two fit that ideal far better. Most dogs could dream of such a life. Although she had all that in her old life, this time it felt more complete. She didn't think much about her old life, her life prior to becoming an Ohu soldier. A life that ended on betrayal, loss, and letting go.
Sometimes she couldn't believe Ken and George were adults now. It seemed just yesterday they were two young pups suckling from her belly. Never could one find a prouder mother. The boys were definitely their father's sons. They weren't her little boys anymore. But she wondered what would have become of her little girl? Miney's death had been like a knife in her gut, twisting into her intestines, reaching into her heart. But such was the hard life of an Ohu soldier. Many had fallen, and more so would in the future. So many questions arose as to her deceased daughter's possible future. One question came with prominence. Would Miney have settled down with a nice male? Cross wanted grandchildren, only mentioning it at sparse moments in between her life.
She supposed every parent held that same desire, particularly if a strong male wanted his line to continue. Ken and George had yet to find mates, and there was no telling if they would find any in their lives. Honestly, she started to think she would die without being a grandmother. She and Ben were not getting any younger. Although she wouldn't obsess over it, if it didn't happen, it didn't happen. Life continued to be good nonetheless. That is until today. Just when she had thought every bit of her past had been buried, a reminder showed up.
Cross had never seen the strange female before, must have been a new recruit. Cross had half a mind to give this female a piece of her mind, more so after she insulted her. The female however caught her first. As Cross sat there listening to the sling of words spewed forth from the irate female, one world caused something within her to crack:
"Mother."
Although she didn't show it much, Cross had been repressing a bad memory from her past. So far she had managed to hold it at bay. All thanks could go to her new happy life, but now, this female had brought it to surface. Finally, Cross noticed something about this young dog. First it was the fur, white and silky, then there was the likeness and scent, the latter begin long forgotten on her nose. Mot of all, it was the voice. Before Cross's eyes, she saw herself, eight years younger.
There was a part of herself that many Ohu warriors didn't know. Mostly the younger generation, but some of the older warriors knew it well. Cross had been a mother before birthed Ben's offspring. Before another word could get out, Cross saw her sons come up from behind the female. The female was surprised by the slightly younger canines. All around, the crowd of dogs watched the three way brawl.
"Ken! George! Stop!" Cross called, but her sons didn't stop.
Their growls went higher than her own pleas. Ken and George had inherited their father's strength, the fight showed as much. Yet, the female held her own. It couldn't be certain if she held the same amount of strength, but she held a greater advantage in speed. With it, she was able to gain some advantage over her male opponents. In fact, she didn't seem so weak in the physical department.
The fight however had to stop. Biting, clawing, snarling, it all went on. Ken grabbed the female's right ear, George reached for her left hind leg, the female prepared to counterattack. All of this was too much for Cross. No mother wanted to see her children fighting amongst themselves.
"BOYS STOP IT!" Cross's pleas arched her son's ears.
"Mom?" Ken asked confused.
"But she said–" George added in, not understanding why their mother would stop them from defending her honor.
"Please." Cross gave one more plea.
With reluctance, Ken and George let the female go, but they went to their mother, forming a protective barrier. Whoever this stranger was, she seemed to have some kind of grudge against their mother. Cross knew that, and it warmed her heart, but that warmth only was lukewarm. The rage hadn't left the female's face. It became mores clear when she heard the word from Ken, "Mom".
"Cross!" she heard Ben's voice through the crowd. Blind as he was, he occasionally bumped into another. With his sense of smell, he was able to find her. "Are you alright?" he asked his beloved, giving a concerned lick because of the commotion. As her family surrounded her, Cross could see the female's anger starting to rise.
"Mayu!" Cross turned at the name. Who was Mayu? From within the crowd, Cross noticed a streak of black working its way through. When she saw the scarred eyes, she recognized the male as Bat. She had heard mention from Weed and Gin he had returned, with a mate…. and family.
No, it couldn't be… But she saw how Bat made it to her side, licking her and seeing if she was well. From behind bat, three puppies followed. Cross examined their appearance with her old eyes. There was a female who was the spitting image of Bat, a male with the appearance of a Saluki, and the smallest, a perfect mixture of the two breeds.
"Mommy what's wrong? Are you okay?" the little one asked his mother, noticing her weakened felt a grip upon her heart. The young pup was saying it to the female.
"No it–" Cross stammered. Her eyes met with the female's. Mustering her strength, the younger dog rose to meet the older. Cross wanted to say something, oh how she wanted to speak. But the words couldn't work themselves out.
Ben, Ken, George, Cross. The female, Mayu took a long look at them all. A sardonic grin crossed her muzzle. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?" the statement was directed to Cross, and that's when she bolted. Immediately Cross followed. Behind the two females, their loved ones called out, but they ignored them or just didn't hear them in their states. The both of them swam through the sea of dogs. They had no destination, their minds telling them where to go.
Finally, they came to a stop. A secluded part of Ohu. Somehow it seemed perfect for what was coming next.
The young female, had her backed turned to Cross. Cross tried to speak first, but the words still hid from her.
"So you were alive all this time!" the female spat the question out like it was garbage in her still could only manage one word.
"I–"
"You just threw us away like garbage?"
That stung Cross. So many words went through her head. Only one sentence she could muster.
"Y-you've grown so big." The one before her wasn't a puppy, not anymore.
Mayu at last turned her head. Her expression nearly made Cross back away.
"Is that all you can say after eight years!" her eyes were like daggers.
Cross felt at a loss for a moment, but then she gathered the courage to speak once more. "I know how you must feel, you have every right to be angry. But understand, I did what I had to do. I had no choice." Cross attempted to reason.
"You had a choice!" Mayu briskly cut in. "You could have come back for us!"
"I was injured, Akakabuto killed everyone and-"
"SAVE IT!" Mayu cut once again. She didn't want to hear any excuses from the older dog. It was too forgone for that. "I know what this is about, we just weren't a perfect enough family for you."
Cross's eyes widened and her body stiffened. "That's not true!" she exclaimed with the utmost truth to her words. Truth that only she believed.
"Oh, it makes perfect sense." Mayu turned around fully. "Some male comes along and knocks you up, so you just dump off the unwanted garbage so you can run off, find a mate and have a perfect new family." Mayu's voice retained a neutral tone, neither happy, nor angry, but dead serious in delivery. With each word, she took a step, sending Cross backwards.
"You wanna know what happened to your son?" Mayu curtly asked.
Cross remembered, she had left a son as well. Hope sprang up inside her. Though at the same time, it fell as she noticed her daughter's tone.
"His name was Mao, and he's dead!" Cross gasped. Dread fully replaced her hope.
"I– I–" she repeated. Mayu wouldn't hear them once more, the string of excuses.
"You know, deep down, I think he always knew you were alive, hoping you would come and save us from hell." Mayu looked down, her paws digging into the soil. "But you never came, and I watched him die in agony, clinging to that hope."
Cross was no stranger to loss, particularly a loss pertaining to a child. Something fell, the ground started to dampen right near her daughter's paws. "Please, I'm sorry. I beg your forgiveness. Can't we start over?" Cross pleaded. "You have a family now, a mate, children." Cross brightened up at that word.
"NO!" Mayu decisively looked up. Now it was apparent, there were tears in her eyes. "Let's get one thing straight, you stay the hell away from my babies!" Mayu threatened. "I won't let you fill their heads with lies!"
Mayu glared directly into the eyes of the old dog. The dagger like glare hadn't left, nor would it ever.
"Please…my daughter."
"My name is Mayu, and I have no mother."
Mayu began to walk past, but right before, she turned, the tears flowing more freely than before. "And for all I care, you can go to hell, Cross."
With nothing more to say, Mau ran off before Cross could get another word in. Cross sat there frozen, stunned at the words before her. In her own eyes, tears began to form. Miney hadn't been the only daughter lost to her, not anymore.
XXXXX
Mayu ran for who knew how long. Just as before, she just ran with no destination in mind. She only stopped when her legs couldn't move anymore. When she stopped, she let it all out. All the tears, all the pain. Her sobs spread out across the land, echoing and resounding.
"Mayu?" Mayu stopped at the sound of the voice. A familiar black body met her eyes. "Bat." she sniffed. Trotting at Bat's heels, were their children. Wing and Mina kept silent, while Kuro spoke.
"Mommy? Why did you run away? How come you're crying? Did you hurt yourself?" the mixed pup innocently asked.
Mayu hiccuped back a sob. The tears came again, but this time, it wasn't from sadness. Mayu embraced her pups, holding them tightly to her. None of them bothered to squirm out of their mother's grasp.
"You four are all I need." Mayu believed that with all her heart.
The family sat there silent, even as the moon rose. Ohu had seemed so perfect. But then again, nothing was. Mayu found her life fit that perfectly.
XXXX
It felt like someone had rubbed shards of broken glass into her intestines, and left them there. Left them sticking in there, allowing them to twitch and rub on the wound, destroying any chances of scabs appearing. Stabbed by Akakabuto's claws once again. Hell, wasn't that right? It was a good comparison as anything.
She snorted, feeling a painful throb at the crown of her head and that mist-like, translucent pain that followed with invisible wounds. Seeping into every cut space like damn lemon juice, cutting and burning. But there were no physical wounds to lick. She could only let everything fester and bubble and burn. God, how she hated this. It was horrible. Just as if she'd had to let Ben go to battle again, and had to think of what had happened to George from when he'd returned after so long.
Cross closed her eyes tightly, trying to let the cooler air sooth her. It barely cooled the edges of her fur, but her insides still stung and burned. But there were no more tears. None at all. Crying once more was the most despicable option here. It seemed as if crying again would reduce what had just happened to a minor event, a tiny thing that could repel and shove away grief. Real grief couldn't just be fixed with some tears and patch slapped on here or there. It destroyed the need for tears. Tears would tell Cross that she didn't care. Didn't give a damn about what had just happened.
Males didn't cry.
Males didn't cry.
Males didn't have offspring come back to them and call them 'mother.'
She wasn't a male.
Cross swallowed down any chances she had of tears. Something was churning and twisting in her stomach. Hot anger and cold grief smashed against each other, spraying everywhere acidly. Burning her wounds open further. Cross didn't know towards whom they were directed any more.
She was still alone in the forest. Not in the place where she'd seen her… fleeing. Somewhere else. Somewhere else closer to the edges of Ohu, but not where anyone could find her soon. Cross still hadn't lost the knack of stepping lightly and covering her tracks. Being a soldier, retired now or not, had implanted that habit in her firmly.
Cross felt as if she was going to get her wounds twisted open further if she was light stepper too.
There were too many similarities.
Far too many.
How?
Cross's insides felt shaky, but her body refused to reel or quiver. It had been taught to stay strong in the most nerve wrecking of situations. When you fought a bear, a second chance wasn't going to come along if you screwed up. Jump, dodge, bite and twist. Never let yourself get cut by those claws. Ever. Get cut, you keep running. Get cut and start crying, lose control; your running is over.
But this was no bear. And the situation seemed beyond determined to tell her that. All of her wounds seemed beyond determined to tell her that. She'd lost them to a bear; she'd lost them to Akakabuto. And now here one had come back. Only one. Cross felt like her belly was about to tie itself in a knot with all of the imploding anger and grief she was feeling. Her puppies had been dead to her when she'd left them. Though she was conscious they were alive, physically alive, in truth, Akakabuto had torn their throats out the day her trust in humans and everything she'd loved had been ripped out from under her. They were no longer to be in her world; no longer to be warm wriggling things in her paws, no longer alive.
Cross had considered them to be in the spirit world.
She had no past behind being cut up by Akakabuto and brought to Ohu. None at all. It hurt too much to have a past. Hurt much more than any soldier's wounds. So she had none.
Cross found that all of the smells of the greenery and forest around her refused to enter her nose properly– they only came in distorted and warped. She could hear quite well, though. The yells and buzzing of the Ohu camp like a disturbed beehive was quite audible to her.
Cross felt herself building up a slow dread inside of her at facing them again. They would ask questions. They would mercilessly press on the subject; prying, poking, nipping, peering in. It was in their nature as a group to do so, their nature to pass the information down the grapevine. She could hardly expect otherwise. After all, how many times had she herself caught wind of rumors and tidbits by listening to conversations or following the line? How many times had there been no emotion in her for those whom the rumor was sprouting from or being pried from? Surely she couldn't expect them to do any different for her– it would be robbing the dry irony from the experience. No soldier could expect otherwise.
But Cross wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to have them asking questions about her, how she was connected to herself, why she had sought out the fight. For the newer recruits, ones who weren't retirees from the original army or the platoons, the entire story of her abandonment of shattered human trust and her pups would have to come to light again. Cross didn't think she could have it picked to pieces so methodically and carelessly at the same time now. Not when it had resurfaced this way, god no. She wasn't ready for this.
As for telling others, as for telling Ken and George…!
Cross shuddered, feeling herself wince. That was the second worst thing there was to this besides having her story brought to the surface again. She didn't want anything circulating around the camp– particularly since she, since Mayu– Cross's heart jumped at the name– was going to be living in the camp. What if the story got back to her? What if she had to listen to what she assumed was one big load of tripe, one big excuse for leaving her to beginning of had become hell?
The only one Cross could think of that would offer understanding, help, was Ben. And chances were he himself would find it hard to deal with a piece of her past that had come back to bite her. Ken and George would be thrown into part of the same violent whirlpool she was in– Cross could not see her impulsive sons offering her any help, or even pity, for something she'd hidden from them for so long.
She was a cornered mouse who'd woken the cat, and there was nowhere to hide.
XXXX
"…so that was it, was it?"
Ben quietly looked at Cross. In the darkened spot under the bushes, only darkened blue and green sunlight coming through, everything seemed extra quiet. She could feel his aged and almost blinded eyes focusing on her. Fate and years had not been kind to his sight.
"Yes." Cross found she couldn't look at him. Instead, she focused on the ragged patch of light outside of the arched bushes. Everything seemed as quiet and still as the grave on the inside, here, but on the outside, rapid activity was flowing under the surface. She'd sought Ben out after she'd gotten under her emotions under control… for the moment. They were still there, still softly boiling and simmering, but a lurking threat nevertheless, not an immediate one. Cross hoped to keep them that way.
"I didn't… I didn't expect them to come back." Cross shut her eyes tightly, feeling the hard ground beneath her belly and ribs. "Hell, I didn't expect them to reappear, period! I thought I left them behind when I left behind my owner, when I picked up Akakabuto's scars. When everything just… just…"
"Went to pieces on you?" Ben asked.
A small, hollow grin appeared on Cross's face.
"Exactly."
As she heard some rustling noises outside, Cross and Ben froze, cocking their ears and listening in. Cross's eyes had snapped open at the noise. She'd avoided the group and the soldiers when she'd snuck back to here. It had been hard, but she'd managed it. Somehow.
She'd also managed to avoid Ken and George.
At that point, Ben read her mind. "…Ken and George aren't going to take this well," he said grimly.
"I know they're not." Cross felt the acidic wave in her belly gave a small flip. Suddenly, despite the influx of intense, new emotions that were present in her, she felt like a worn, creased and old dog or beaten carpet. "Neither of them take surprises well, and knowing those two, they'd keep up the fight they took up earlier. They'd continue it till Hell froze over, if they… she… allowed it." Cross paused. "They've got your temper, after all… just not the patience you had with it." She allowed herself a grim and stretched smile. It felt like she had bags under her eyes.
Ben had given a small 'huh' of amusement when Cross had brought the brothers' tempers up, but it had quickly faded into the silence here. This arched bush seemed to devour both warm sunlight and words inside of it. For a few moments, Cross and Ben were quiet, just taking in the sounds and soft rustling of the hundreds of leaves.
"Her name was Mayu, wasn't it?" Ben asked.
"Yes." Cross listened intently to the growing noises outside. "There was… yes, her name was Mayu."
Ben flicked his ears back as she abruptly cut off during her statement and changed the end.
"Wasn't there more than one?"
"The other's dead," Cross said bluntly.
For a moment, Ben's wide, paled eyes looked surprised, but then he quietly leaned forward and touched his nose to Cross's neck, behind the place her ears hung. Cross said nothing, allowing her eyelids to droop and eyes turn to the ground.
They stayed like that for a few quiet minutes, not saying anything to break the slightly shaking silence around them.
Then Cross sighed, letting the air slide out the sides of her mouth, forcing her muzzle to raise. Ben moved back, lifting his head.
"Ken and George aren't going to like this." Cross's voice wasn't optimistic.
"I know. But they'll get over it; they'll deal with it. I'll help you out in case their tempers rise and they start to do something stupid."
Cross grimaced. It would be just like the two to restart their fight with Mayu the instant something in the memory triggered them.
"Good idea."
Ben hauled himself to his feet, Cross watching him get up. She felt a small spark of nervousness. "You're going to go get them? Now?"
Ben paused in front of the exit from the bushes, light spots on his muzzle and forehead. "The sooner, the better. The longer the two don't know, the longer they have a chance to go after Mayu or Bat, and the bigger reaction they'll have. Ken and George may be some things, but restrained isn't one of them."
Cross felt her protest get stuck in her throat, bobbing there. "Right." she said. "Find Ken and George."
Ben gave her one last look before wriggling out of the arched bush's entrance and running off. Cross felt the protest slide up her throat and leak out of her mouth.
"Don't," she said.
Her small and quiet voice barely lingered in the air for a few seconds. Ben was already gone.
XXXX
"Mom! There you are!"
A surprised Ken barely managed to crawl through the bush entrance, refusing to stoop and shaking the entire thing. Several leaves fell on the ground. Behind him, a bit of white fur shoved against him.
"Move your ass, Ken!"
George head butted him, forcing his large brother to scramble through and barely avoid crashing into his mother. Cross had to recoil for a moment as Ken almost ran into her, but he managed to swerve to the left and ended up shaking the bush ever further. Leaves rained down.
"You idiot, you almost made me run over Mom!" Ken snapped at his younger brother.
George, sharp shoulders already in the bush, neatly pulled his scarred body after him and made a much more quiet and graceful entrance than his brother. He gave a rough flick of his tangled and fringy ears, ignoring his brother's comment, though his ears went back. Ken's flipped backwards and began to flatten against his head, lips going back very slightly.
"No fighting," Cross said flatly, sensing the all-too familiar air of a brotherly quarrel.
Both Ken and George turned their attention to their mother.
"Mom, where have you been? We were looking all over for you but we couldn't find you; we had to listen to dad to get here after that bitch attacked you–"
" 'That bitch' happens to be Mayu," Cross neatly correctly. "And I suggest you keep it that way."
A brief look of confusion at his mother's correction passed over Ken's face. George, on the other hand, didn't even bother to slow down.
"Mayu? Some old enemy from before?" he asked, leaning forward. The pink, smooth scars on his face moved with each of his words. "Old leftovers from Hougan?"
"No," Ken broke in before Cross could answer, "Not that. She called 'mom' her mother."
"A deluded leftover from Hougan, then." George responded. He began to get up. "That's where it ends. I need to have a talk with her."
"You won't do any such thing," Cross said sharply, sitting up from her belly down position. Her youngest son froze, one paw closer to the bush exit. Sun played over it, highlighting the dirty and cleaner parts of his smooth fur.
"Look, mom–"
"Be quiet, Ken," Cross said, cutting her son off. She focused her eyes on George's impassive yet defiant face, her own black ones meeting his. Black on white versus black on white and scar tissue pink.
"As much as you want to fight, George, you're going to sit here and listen to me. Going up against Mayu is just going to get both of you hurt, seeing you're stubborn and violent in equal measures. You're also forgetting Bat," Mayu added. "If you three have a brawl, you'll be outnumbered, and it'll be a bloodbath."
"I'd jump in after his sorry ass," Ken said, shooting his brother a look. George's hackles bristled slightly.
"Enough, you two," Cross snapped. She had little to no patience today. Her emotions had been worn raw and frazzled into frayed strings, and the whole thing wasn't even over. This wasn't the time for her to have to keep stopping sibling quarrels– if she was going to tell them everything, then they had better not stop her once, or it would be hard for her to start again.
Both of the dogs looked at their mother in surprise at her unusually bad tempered response. They became quiet.
Cross sighed, feeling the tiredness pull her eyelids down.
"Look, you two, you need to remain quiet while I clear things up here. Interrupting is going to help nothing, and the next time it happens, I'm stopping," she threatened. Cross waited for a moment to see if either of them had an objection to her statement. There was none. Forcing herself to keep her head up, Cross continued.
"First of all, you two need to keep away from Mayu. Starting up any fights over what happened today– something that's part unlucky and part my fault, I admit– will just make unnecessary injuries. I don't expect Bat or Mayu to stay still and keep their temper if you go asking for a fight, particularly Mayu; and with pups along, they'd react far worse than usual. Got that?"
Ken silently nodded. George's piercing eyes gave Cross the signal to go on.
"Second of all," Cross continued, "Mayu was not deluded when she called me her mother."
Ken made a choking sound in the back of his throat. George's gaze grew colder.
"As much as it seems like a mere delusion, she was right to call me so– though I don't see why the hell she would, seeing I have never played the real role to her such as I tried to for both of you– and right to confront me over it. There is nothing else behind that conflict today," Cross said. "Though I would like to leave it at that, I think I owe both of you an explanation, seeing you jumped into the fight because of me."
"Does dad know this?" George interjected. Ken shot his brother a warning look, afraid of his mother's previous threat to stop talking if interrupted.
"Yes," Cross said, "Ben is well aware of this."
She didn't miss the small looks of surprises on either of their faces.
"And it's time both of you were, too."
Cross launched into her story.
Throughout the whole thing, she found herself keeping everything as simple as possible, with the details to a bare minimum. She mentioned the least amount of things as possible about her friends, about Sawada and his house, about her few hour 'mate.' She went through everything, appalled and disgusted as she found herself taking the almost nearly emotional tone that many soldiers used while telling their stories. The only thing she had to elaborate on was her pups. Her beautiful, abandoned pups. She almost considered cutting Mao… if that was what his name had been… out of the story, but something stabbed her in her chest when she even thought of the idea.
Cross tried to tell them a minimal while trying to make them understand why she'd left her little family behind. Half of her family had been docked, cut away, when Akakabuto had taken her friends and trust in humans from her. The shred left there had lost its radiance in the face of revenge. But it didn't mean it hadn't hurt to leave them. Hurt to leave them with the very one whose trust in them had been shattered. She wasn't heartless– revenge had just been the most important thing. The only thing keeping her motivated to remain inside her ripped up and bleeding body.
Cross almost pleaded with them in her words, but it bit it back. How to convince her sons she wasn't an emotionless and selfish broad, interested in only her own self? Leaving had been selfish– oh so very much– but it had been one of her only selfish acts after leaving her pups behind and tearing them from her heart and mind.
Cross ended her story at being picked up by Ohu recruits after passing out from blood loss. She only briefly mentioned Mao's apparent death, going past the subject as quickly as possible. It hurt to linger over it. Fortunately, Ken and George understood, not stopping her to milk her for details.
Then, after god knew how long, it was over.
Cross finished her story, not a single word left in her. Silence filled the bushes. But not for too long.
"Well?" Ken asked, slightly frustrated but trying to hide it, "Why didn't you tell us this before?"
"I never thought I would need to." Cross said. "I never thought I would see them… her… again. I was happy to be here and watch you grow with your father; Mayu was a thing of the past."
"Not any longer," George said darkly, speaking exactly what had been in her mind. "What're they going to do? Did Mayu learn about you and track you down to get revenge for what happened? Did they come to Ohu because they heard about you?"
"I don't think so," Cross said. She smiled sadly. "Mayu hates me too much to even be within a foot of me. Normally, I think she would've left by now. But Bat and her pups are tethering her down this time. She's been made immobile."
George grunted.
Ken, who had settled into a slouching sitting position to keep from rubbing against the leaves, completely sat up, making the whole bush rattle.
"But what the hell is going to happen next?"
Cross couldn't answer.