Judgement

Chapter Nine: Nod Good

I like her because she smiles at me and means it.
-Tas Soft Wind

Katara knew she was waking up late. The sun shined in and she could feel it on her face before she opened her eyes. She had the right to wake up late; it was a semi long night.

She was faintly aware that there was something holding her hand when she tried to move it but ignored it for the time being. She wasn't awake enough to really care.

Keeping her eyes closed, she rolled to her side to stretch out. She sprawled out her arm that wasn't being held down expecting it to land on a warm spot where Zuko had been. Instead, it landed on pure flesh and muscle.

She opened her eyes, confused about what her arm landed on. Before she was really able to focus, a hand gently placed itself on hers. It was then that it connected with her mind that it was Zuko she had stretched out onto.

It was strange to wake up next to him. This was the first time since she was here that she woke up with him still in bed. It was a nice feeling. Somehow she felt safe and comforted. She didn't really want to move but she had to before he woke up.

She tried to slowly pull her hand from his and away from his chest without waking him. He held on though and kept her hand where it was. Maybe if I just let him think he woke up first. She thought closing her eyes.

A few minutes later, Zuko woke up with both of Katara's hands in each of his. His half awake mind let him enjoy the feeling of her soft skin, running his fingers over it, before he mentally freaked out.

Not good! NOT GOOD! flashed in his mind over and over again. He let go of both of her hands then moved the one on his chest back onto the bed. He carefully looked at her and a small smile covered his lips for reasons unknown to him. He loved just sitting there and watching her. She was peaceful and she made him peaceful. It wasn't a feeling he was ever aloud to feel. It was a forbidden feeling, which is what made it more appealing. He felt he could stay like that for as long as he wanted.

Then her eyes opened.

NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!

"Morning." He whispered, betraying his mind.

"Hey." A smile that mirrored his own formed on her face. "Sleep well?" She asked.

"I slept in for the first time in years." NOT! GOOD! Zuko's eyes widened finally listening to his thoughts. "I slept in!" He shouted jumping up. "I'm not supposed to sleep in!" He went to get his shirt and threw it on.

"Zuko, it's alright." She laughed a little at his haste.

"No it's not. Now I'm going to be behind all day." He went for the door. "Uncle will bring you breakfast." He said before looking back at her. All she did was smile at him.

A while later, after Katara had put on her unwashed clothes back on, Iroh decided he should go talk to her. He walked carefully towards the room, making sure Zuko was no where around. He gently rapped on the door.

"Come in." She called as she finished putting her hair up. "Oh hello Iroh." She was slightly confused at the sight of him without her breakfast tray.

"Would you like to accompany me to the dining room to eat this morning?" He asked sweetly.

"Oh, of course." She smiled and stood to follow him. "I haven't really got to talk to you for a while. How have you been?" She asked as they walked down the halls.

"Oh I've been fine, same old same old. How have you been handling Zuko?" He asked with a glint of something in his eyes.

"We've been…" She paused not sure how to answer. He had her very confused right now, but not at the same time. "Well, we haven't tried to kill each other yet." She laughed slightly not sure what else to do. She didn't know what was going on really.

"Oh?" He looked at her, knowing there was something more. "Well, I suppose that's good." He smiled at her and she just nodded. They reached the dining room and Katara sat in the seat across from Iroh, like she had the first time she was here. "Zuko was very upset about last night." Iroh said, breaking the silence.

"He told you about that?" She blushed and looked up at him suddenly interested and confused about Zuko's telling his uncle. Iroh just nodded taking a sip of his tea. "How upset?" She asked.

" Very." Iroh put the cup down and started to eat some of the food in front of him. Katara's face fell and she didn't feel hungry anymore.

It felt like she had just fallen from the top of a tree and hit the ground, broken. She sighed shakily and looked down at her food, just rolling it around on her plate. She knew Zuko wouldn't like her like that but it still hurt to find it out for some reason. It was like knowing what you got for Christmas but still being excited and somewhat surprised when you see it in your hands, only the exact opposite feeling.

"Oh no!" Iroh shook his hands, seeing her expression. "Not like that!" Katara's head snapped up and looked at him puzzled. "Not upset as in mad but as in worried and shaken. He was quite worried about you when he found you weren't there." Somehow that didn't make her feel too much better.

"Yes. He said he was worried I may have escaped." She whispered.

"Is that what he told you?" Iroh chuckled a little." Oh no Miss Katara. He was worried about you being hurt. He's grown fond of you and was upset that you might be injured in any way."

"Really? He told you that?" She asked not really able to understand that Zuko had said something like that.

"Not in so many words." Iroh replied. He saw she was still confused, and she had right to be. Zuko wasn't easy to understand. "Give him time. He's not sure what he wants yet and he's afraid everyone will judge him. He doesn't understand that the river changes."

"What river?" He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it." He told her. "Eat now." He told her nodding to her food and she complied. Iroh smiled behind his cup of tea.

The truth was that Zuko had never come to talk to him. Iroh had been trying to get him to but Zuko avoided him, knowing he somehow knew what happened. Of course he did! Iroh always knew!

Iroh had been awake drinking some of his tea when he heard his nephew running around the halls. He had gone out to see what had gotten him worked up and had followed him up on deck. He had watched the entire event as if it was a private movie played for him. He saw the looks that passed over Zuko's face and knew what they meant.

He went to bed that night, feeling very happy for his nephew. He had found happiness. Now he just had to find out how to keep it.

Zuko had been avoiding his uncle and Katara all day. Iroh seemed to know everything that went on and he did not need his questions or "Knowledge" right now. He had a big problem, which is why he was avoiding Katara.

This shouldn't have happened. He thought as he stood at the edge of his ship watching the sun set. Katara was doing things to him that shouldn't be happening. He always wanted to smile when he thought about her, hate himself when he thought about when he captured her, wanting to hold her anytime she was near.

He knew he had fallen for her, for his prisoner, his enemy. He knew it was never going to work. It was a force that was leading him nowhere good. (But he had gotten the 'NOT GOOD!' sign to stop flashing)

As he was thinking, he didn't notice Iroh come up behind him. Iroh had already talked to Katara, now it was time to talk to his nephew.

"Prince Zuko," He greeted, making him jump just slightly. "The river seems to be changing."

"Uncle, we're not on or anywhere near a river." He said with a deep voice that held confusion and sadness.

"They seem to be pulling your ship in a new direction." He said looking out at the sea.

"Uncle, we're not on a river and we're going the same way we have been."

"What is your dream, nephew?" He asked looking at him intently.

"I have to capture The Avatar to return home." Zuko replied still confused. "What does that have to do with anything you're talking about?"

"A dream is like a river," Iroh stated simply. "Ever changing as it flows."

"Uncle, dreams don't change, neither do rivers. They can't." He turned to walk away. "I'm retiring to bed."

"Dreams await you." Iroh called.

Katara changed into the nightgown then sat on the bed going over what she was feeling. It was hard to understand exactly what she was feeling, especially because she wasn't sure she wanted to understand.

When she first got on the ship with Zuko, she was angry with him. She would have loved nothing more than to throw him overboard and bend waves over him, mainly after she was told where she would be sleeping.

But now, she didn't mind sleeping next to him. It gave her a sort of comfort, a feeling that she was safe. She probably wouldn't be happy if she moved into her own room now. She also found herself wanting to be near him. She definitely didn't want to throw him overboard anymore.

At the same time, she wanted to be mad at him. She was still away from her friends. She was still a little bit of a prisoner even if it didn't feel that way. She was trapped, but she had to admit that it was at least pleasant.

She shuddered and realized that she was cold. She quickly grabbed Zuko's robe that he had put on her last night. The memory was fresh and it made her smile, something she found herself doing a lot more now. She could almost feel Zuko's arms around her waist as she tied a knot in front of her.

She went to sit on the bed to think some more until Zuko came in to sleep.

Zuko walked to is room, mulling over what his uncle had said to him. Dreams don't change. He assured himself. Dreams await me? What the hell does that mean? He wondered as he opened the door.

Katara sat on his bed and smiled again when he walked in. She was already in the nightgown and had the robe he had given her wrapped around her. It was a cold night to be wearing just that nightgown.

He took in the sight for a moment. There was a beautiful girl sitting on his bed, seemingly waiting for him. It wasn't just any girl either. It was a girl he'd grown attached to, in a way. She was smiling at him too, and she meant it. It wasn't forced or fake. She was genuinely smiling at him.

It was what he wanted now. She was what he wanted; her smile, her touch, her happiness. It was so foreign to him. In one split second he realized that The Avatar no longer mattered to him, or at least not as much as his friend did. He didn't want to admit it to himself but it was hard to deny when all he could think about was pulling her to him and kissing her.

Damn my uncle. He thought.

"I didn't think I'd see you this early." Katara said. "With your being behind due to sleeping in." She teased.

"I caught up pretty fast." Zuko waslked over to the bed and sat down.

"How was your day then?" She asked, the teasing tone still slightly there.

"Shut up, peasant." It was like he couldn't help it. His words seemed out of his control and they came out mean and ugly. He wanted to be nice to her but he didn't know how and it ended up coming out as mean words. "I can't wait until The Avatar comes to rescue you." Katara's face fell as he laid down.

"Oh." She said realizing he had a sudden mood swing. "Look Zuko, I didn't mean to make you upset last night."

"You didn't." He said rolling away from her.

"Your uncle said you were upset." Zuko sat up.

"What else did my uncle say?" He asked suspiciously.

"Something about rivers and not much else." She shrugged looking away, not sure if she should tell him anymore."

"Rivers..." He mused aloud. "He speaks nonsense." He looked away and sighed just slightly trying to figure it out.

All of a sudden he felt soft, tender fingers on his cheek, inching towards his scar. His head snapped to her and he pulled back looking almost afraid.

His mind was once again flashing NOT GOOD! But his body wasn't listening. He held her gaze softly before gently closing his eyes.

She took that as a sign that it was okay. So she raised her fingers again and gently brushed the edge of his scar. She didn't mind the feel of it. It was just another part of him. It made him look kind of sexy too, in her opinion. She ran her fingers over his eyelid before moving to his ear.

Zuko liked the soft touch of her fingers on his face. It was like she was healing him from the inside with just a touch of her hand. He opened his eyes, expecting to see hers full of disgust. But instead, they were filled with understanding and there was a smile on her face. He could feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.

"Zuko," She said his name almost like a prayer. It was enough to snap him back to reality.

This is going too far. He thought. He forced his eyes to stone and grabbed her hand.

"Go to sleep." He said sternly. He released her hand then laid back down before bending out the candles.

"You are human." Katara said, still sitting up. "But you pull away before anyone can tell."

"Shut up and go to sleep." He growled.

"Fine." She threw herself down on the bed facing away from him. She was fed up with his flip-flopping mood. "I wouldn't judge you though." Zuko flared and he sat up like lightning had hit him.

"You already have judged me!" He shouted. "Everyone has! Don't try to pretend you're any different!" His outburst startled Katara but she laid there silent. "If you knew," He sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"Looks like you've judged me too." She whispered.

The room was dead silent as Zuko went over his thoughts. I shouldn't tell her. It will only add to my problems. She will know my weakness. He told himself. Who am I kidding? She's a weakness to me. Telling her will just make her more of a weakness to me. I'll become attached to her. I don't need that. He sighed.

"It was my father." He said deeply. Katara turned to face him, once again confused. "My father gave me this scar." I really should not have just done that. "He had to teach me a lesson and pain would be my teacher."

"Oh Zuko, I…" She didn't know what to say. She wasn't really expecting him to tell her anything. "How could he… How could someone do that to their family, even someone like him?" She sat up to sit eye-to-eye with him.

"I spoke out of turn and to deal with it, I had to battle the one I disrespected. I didn't realize it was my father until he rose to fight me. I refused to fight him." He looked her straight in the eye. "I disrespected him again, along with my nation. I deserved what I got."

"No!" She interrupted. "I don't care what your nation or your honor says! You didn't deserve that!"

"I told you, you wouldn't understand." He shook his head. "I was always the screw up child. I was never good enough. So my father was going to teach me." He told her, trying to hide the hate that tainted every word. "So he banished me. I'm only allowed to go home and regain my honor if I capture The Avatar."

"And you want to go back there?" She asked disbelieving.

"Not everyone there was bad." He said looking down. "Besides, it's my home." She just shook her head.

"Who there wasn't bad besides your uncle and you?" His head turned up when she had said he wasn't bad. He'd never heard anyone other than his uncle say that.

"My mother." He replied not really meaning to. Wrong! Answer! His mind screamed.

"What was she like?" She asked softly, truly wanting to know.

"She was the best thing in my life. She always believed in me and wouldn't let me quit. She was the only really good thing in my life."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"She's the only one who ever loved me." Stop spilling your heart and past to some peasant who shouldn't mean a thing to you!

"You're uncle loves you." Katara offered.

"He's not always around." He looked away and laid back down, suddenly feeling weak. Katara leaned over him a little.

"I-" She paused, like she had caught herself about to say something she shouldn't. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Was all he said. If he had been looking at her, he would have expected to feel her body on his in an awkward hug. What the?

"How can you not cry when talking about her?" She asked obviously trying to hold back her own tears. "Just hearing about it and thinking of mine makes me cry."

"I don't cry." He said tentatively wrapping an arm around her back. His mind screamed for him to let go. He didn't listen to it, yet again.

"You're mother sounds a lot like mine." She whispered. "She was kind and the best thing in my life too. I miss her." She lay there, enjoying the companionship and comfort of Zuko holding her.

"I remember the first time I was on this ship." He started. "She walked me around and showed me everything. She told me it was her gift to me when I was old enough to travel in it."

"So that's why you're so passionate about it?"

"Yeah." He sighed and closed his eyes just briefly wondering if they would fall asleep this way. That's when she pulled away and sat up.

"My mother gave me this necklace." He looked at it and saw that it was one he had once found. "It's very important to me too."

"Oh…" Great. More guilt to pile onto the emotions I should NOT be feeling. "I'm sorry." How does she make me apologize so easily?

"It's okay." She replied knowing what he was apologizing for. She felt another single tear roll down her cheek.

He sat up next to her and brought his hand up. Without really realizing it, he wiped his thumb across her cheek, wiping the tear away. She looked into his eyes and leaned into his touch, surprised when he didn't pull away. She took her chance and leaned toward him.

Zuko's head was flashing too many signs. NOT GOOD! Kiss her! NOT GOOD! Don't do it! Kiss her! You want to! You can't! Enemy! HONOR! He pulled away, disappointed at himself. He knew it couldn't happen though, no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how much she thought she wanted it.

"We should go to sleep." He said nearly loosing his voice. She nodded with understanding in her eyes.

I'm officially insane. Katara thought. I shouldn't want him to kiss me. This is not good. Why do I have to feel this way? She laid down and rolled away from him. She did not need to see him right now.

She pulled the covers closer to her and shook a little. It was getting colder and she was not dressed for it. Her actions did not go unnoticed by Zuko.

Katara's eyes widened when she felt strong arms wrap around her middle and pull her against a warm chest. It took her a second to realize what he was doing. He was very warm and very…muscular. Not that that mattered at the moment.

She smiled and rested her arm on his without saying a word. He just held her tighter.

Wow! So sorry about the lack of updates! School's gonna kill me I think. Well I think I fixed a lot of the OOCness in this chptr. Believe it or not, it was a lot worse when I first wrote it. I hope it's at least bearable. Good news is that I have the next two chptrs written on paper. I just have to type them up. So those will have faster updates. Bad new, they're kind of short.

Oh did anyone catch the Garth Brooks reference in this chptr? If not I'll tell you in the next chptr.

By the way, in my profile I have a little section of random drabbles. Some of them are just me rambling on about school or something I did that day but they've now become more updates on my story so if you want to know why I'm delaying on a story or how it's coming along, I post something knew every other day or so.

I love the reviews I've been getting! I'm going to try to reply to every signed review I get this chptr but I can't make any promises! Until next time guys!