Disclaimer: I don't own Angel the Series.

Author's Note: I contemplated re-writing the events of Fredless for this story, or at least a few scenes, but the problem is that there wouldn't be much for Lilah to do in that episode – well, apart from snark about Fred and say the Fang Gang should just let her leave, etc. Which, while fun, would get a little repetitive for my money. So assume that the events of Fredless, then, happened more or less as they did in canon, just with an extra helping of Lilah-snark.

What that means is that this is a shorter chapter than most, but one that has plenty of snark, from Lilah and from others. Just the kind of thing to tide you over till the next chapter, when things have a very cool change. What is that change? Well, I suppose you'll just have to read to find out.

Thanks to Starway Man for beta-reading!

Exit Strategy

By Alkeni

Chapter 20: A Firm Lead

Lilah's Room, Hyperion Hotel

October 18th, 2001

To his great surprise, Wesley found himself knocking on the door to Lilah's room, rather than simply unlocking it and barging in unannounced – as was his habit by now. Initially, his intentions had always been to give Lilah as little opportunity as possible to hide whatever she was up to. After a while, he'd come to accept that she wasn't going to be 'up to' much of anything in this room, and that her angle, since there was one, wasn't aimed at Angel Investigations.

These days, it was mostly out of habit that he didn't knock. But this time he did.

"If you're able to come in, then I'm waiting." Lilah's voice came back a moment later.

Wesley rolled his eyes and opened the door. He wasn't especially surprised she'd say something like that, though really, if she thought Angel was going to come up here at any point – well, the vampire was rather too embarrassed to accept that Lilah even existed at the moment, unless Wesley missed his guess completely.

"The knocking thing is a nice change of pace, Wes. You usually only do that when you're in a good mood." Lilah looked at him, sitting at her desk, one leg crossed over the other. Even given what had happened to her earlier today, she still managed to look perfectly composed. The only sign that anything was amiss at all was the bandage on her neck. "So, what have I done to earn your goodwill today? I need to know so I can stop doing it." She smirked. "Angry Wes is just so much more fun."

The smirk, combined with the way she was sitting – if there was one thing Lilah had plenty of experience with, it was using her looks and her sexuality as a weapon. Wesley would be lying if he hadn't noticed, but given who and what she was, noticing was all he'd done.

Well, who and what she was, and her apparent...interest in him when he was angry. Wesley didn't especially like being angry, though when it came to Lilah, it happened more often than he cared to admit. She was an absolutely infuriating woman – and it didn't help that she really was as clever as she thought she was, since that just made it even easier for her to get under his skin.

"This isn't so much 'goodwill' as a courtesy visit, given your injury." Wesley gestured to her neck. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

Lilah spared him a glare. "Don't you dare start pitying me, Wes. I'm not one of your –"

"This isn't pity, Lilah. Given what Fred saw regarding what happened between you and, ah, Angel's body –"

"What? That little Texan bitch was watching us?" Lilah raised her voice, the composure suddenly vanishing as he eyes briefly flashed with volcanic fire. It was back after a moment though.

Wesley inhaled sharply at the insult directed at Fred. He knew he should be used to such things from Lilah, and he was, but he still didn't like them.

"Not exactly. She left as soon as she realized what was going on between you and that body thief, but she saw enough. That's why I highly doubt Mr. Roscoe forced you into that position. On my desk." It was bad enough that they'd even started anything. If Marcus Roscoe hadn't suddenly realized that he had a taste for human blood, Wesley would have had to burn the desk, rather than settle for sanitizing it rather thoroughly. He'd contemplated making Angel do it, but subsequently decided he didn't want the vampire anywhere near the desk again for quite a while. If ever.

"Hey, on the desk was his idea." Lilah replied, as if it was a defense. She got up and walked over to her bookshelf, scanning the spines.

"That's not really a good excuse, since you went along with it. Good Lord, Lilah! Didn't you think something was wrong when 'Angel' started acting out of character?"

"Of course. But hey, I just figured someone had spiked his morning blood or something." Lilah countered, which still wasn't a very good excuse for her actions. She was more or less admitting she'd been intending to take advantage of a man who hadn't been in possession of his full faculties. Some of his displeasure must have shown on his face. "Finally, a dirty look. I was wondering how long one of those would take to show up!" She laughed darkly. "What, did you really think I was going to let something like Angel being high stop me? I'm evil, remember? And it wasn't as if there was any worry that he'd get a moment of perfect happiness from me!" She laughed. "As much as Cordelia may like to joke that he's a eunuch, you know, Angel definitely isn't."

Wesley looked away, pinching the bridge of his nose. Any hint of concern for her well-being that he'd had – the few scraps of which being the reason he was up here checking on her at all – was now completely gone. "Believe me, forgetting you're evil is certainly not going to happen any time soon."

"Well, good. The last thing I want is for you to start trusting me, and inviting me over to your apartment for dinner." Lilah told him, finally selecting a book from the shelf and turning back to face him. "So you were, what, here to check on my well-being? Wouldn't it be easier for you if I'd just bled out? After all," she smirked, "then my deadman's switch goes off and all those files get released. Think of all the damage they'd do to Wolfram and Hart." She laughed darkly. "I know killing me has crossed your mind more than once, Wesley."

"Indeed. Multiple times a day, as a matter of fact." Wesley confirmed. "But as surprising as it may be to you – even though I don't like you, I don't trust you and I have not and will not forget that you are hopelessly and thoroughly evil, I've found that I rather prefer a world where you remain among the living compared to a world in which you are dead. Not by much, granted, but the preference is there."

Lilah put a hand on her chest, "Be still my beating heart." She told him, her voice breathy. "That's got to be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." She laughed without real humor and smirked at him. "What? Were you expecting some sort of gratitude in response to that revelation?"

Certainly not. Do you actually think I was? He would have imagined Lilah knew him better than that by now. "Not even remotely." Wesley informed her with perfect honesty. "But you wanted to know why I came up here to check on your well-being, and that's part of the reason. Also, you are a useful asset alive. There's always time to kill you and activate your deadman's switch later, after all."

Lilah pressed her hand over her heart again, affecting a fairly passable Southern accent. "Why, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce. If you keep telling me such sweet nothings, I think I might just swoon." Wesley closed his eyes a moment, taking a breath and Lilah just chuckled. "Seriously, Wes. I can keep this up all day, if you'd like."

"Please, don't." Wesley ground out. "You may not care if I shoot out your kneecaps, but at the very least I'd ruin your clothes if I succumbed to that particular urge." Of course, he hadn't actually brought his gun with him – but if she kept this up, he'd seriously contemplate fetching it. This was utterly unnerving and beyond frustrating.

"You do that, and you'll never get the blood out of the carpet afterwards." Lilah pointed out. "I mean, Wolfram and Hart's been trying to perfect getting blood out of carpets for centuries – and they still haven't gotten it right yet. And we're talking some pretty nice carpets. Mostly Persian." Lilah sat down on the bed, opening the book and then looking up at him. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to leave?"

Wesley bit his tongue for a moment, then: "Tell me something. Was opposing counsel ever driven to suicide from your infuriating habits?"

Lilah quirked her lips and then nodded after a moment. "At least once, maybe twice. I never could tell if the second one put a gun to his head because we got him accused of being a pedophile and convicted him in the media, or if it was because I stressed him out so much." She looked over at him. "Can you go now, or shall I start relating every disgusting – by your standards – thing I've done to win a case? Because we'll be here a while. I'm very creative."

"Take my advice, and keep a very close watch on your kneecaps." Wesley replied after a long moment, before turning around and slamming the door behind him.

Blast. Why does she have to be so infuriating and fascinating at the same time? Granted it was a morbid fascination, a stare-at-the-train-wreck sort of fascination, but still. Shaking his head violently, Wesley went back downstairs to his office. He was going to sanitize his desk again, just for good measure.

Lobby, Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles

October 20th, 2001

To say that Fred was unhappy with her would be the understatement of the century, but yes, the little Texan bitch was unhappy. Leaving aside that it hadn't actually been Angel that was coming onto her – and Lilah had felt a powerful need to take several showers after learning all the unpleasant details regarding what Marcus Roscoe had done – the damn twig seemed to need to blame her for Angel no longer being interested in her, or something. Lilah didn't want to spent too much time trying to understand the crazy girl's thought processes.

Of course, the whole thing had left Lilah with rather unpleasant thoughts towards Angel himself. She didn't actually expect the vampire to try anything similar, now or in the future – but even if he did, Lilah had zero interest. Her neck was going to be permanently scarred, and this time she didn't have Wolfram and Hart's stellar health plan to get rid of the bite marks, the way she'd done after Darla and Drusilla had had their 'fun' in Holland's basement.

Angel was kind of to blame for that time too, come to think of it. Certainly not her fault. I didn't make the call on resurrecting that blonde whore, and I certainly didn't make the call on summoning Drusilla to turn her into a vampire. Maybe she could get Angel to cover the bill for the plastic surgery? Doubtful, but worth a few laughs at his reaction, if nothing else.

At the moment, everyone but her and Fred was out on a case. Fred was back up in her room for the time being, leaving just her to 'mind the store'. Not that she planned on answering the phones or greeting clients. She was no one's Girl Friday. And certainly no one's secretary.

Now that was something she missed. Having a secretary. It had made her life much easier. Having interns and paralegals too. It made life so much easier to have people you could fob the grunt work off onto. And their eminent disposability made them even more appealing.

And now there's no one especially disposable on hand, and no one I can hand the legwork over to. I just love my life.

She hated Lindsey on general principle, and had done for years, but now she had some pretty good, specific reasons to truly hate the guy. Holding her mother hostage was just one of them. The other one centered on the fact that that useless, formerly one-handed idiot had gotten the promotion which she deserved.

Yes, she'd made backup plans for getting out of the firm if she had to. And Lindsey doubtless had his own as well. Even if he hadn't made them years ago like she had, he would have the moment Lee Mercer had gotten shot in the back of the head. Getting your colleague's brains and blood splattered all over your face will tend to wake a person up to the need for a good exit strategy.

But Lindsey hadn't had to use it. And Lilah had never had a counter on hand if he had. Whereas Lindsey had fucking known where her mother was. She'd been outsmarted by Lindsey fucking McDonald and the smug little son of a bitch was still outsmarting her. She'd hit his network, cost him some clients, some employees. She'd hurt him, sure, but not where it really hurt. And she hadn't accomplished the actual point of all her attacks on him and his firm.

She still didn't know where in the hell he was keeping her mother, let alone developed any sort of strategy on how to get her out of wherever it was.

Giving into her frustration, Lilah tossed the papers she'd been reading across the hall.

"Having a bad day, Lilah?" Wesley asked coolly, walking into the lobby, one eyebrow quirked. He was accompanied by Cordelia, but Angel and Gunn weren't anywhere in sight.

"Where's the other two members of your merry little band? Any chance they finally kicked the bucket?" Lilah asked dryly, rising to her feet and starting to gather her paperwork.

"No!" Cordelia replied hotly. "And will you just stop actively wishing for their deaths? It makes my trigger-finger itchy when you do that!"

"Cordelia, you don't have a trigger finger." Wesley pointed out.

"Exactly!" Cordelia replied, as if she was making the slightest bit of sense. "Lilah pisses me off so much it makes me want to grab a gun, just so I can have a trigger finger get itchy. She's that bad!"

"I aim to please." Lilah replied with a smirk, tapping the papers on the circular couch lightly to get them all back in order. "Oh, and you have some complaints from the city's Building Inspector's Office. Fortunately, whoever filed the paperwork didn't realize they were going up against someone with a law degree. I highlighted their mistakes and left the papers on your desk. You should be able to buy a few weeks' delay, at the rate these things move in L.A." She offered Wesley a smirk, "You can thank me later."

"Thank you? Not bloody likely." Wesley replied with a controlled grimace. "But I'll take a look at the fruits of your labors regardless."

"And you helped us, why?" Cordelia replied, sparing Lilah a fresh glare.

"Because Gavin Park is the reason you're having the inspector's office look at you at all, and he's like Lindsey – but with less imagination and intelligence. It's fun knocking his plans to smithereens. Or at least blowing some decent-sized holes in them. I'll leave it to you guys to survive them and thus commence with the smithereens."

"So you're using us?" Cordelia laughed, "Oh, good. And here I was, worrying you'd stopped being a complete bitch."

"Never going to happen." Lilah replied with her own laugh. "So no need to worry."

"Good. I hate worrying. Don't change, Lilah. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you started acting friendly and helpful." Cordelia shot at her.

"As long as you all agree to be constantly hostile, sarcastic and untrusting. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you all started being nice to me." Lilah replied dryly. Wesley was the only one among them that she had any respect for, but at least the Seer could hold her own in a back and forth.

"I think we have a deal."

"Stop." Wesley muttered, "I can't stand the both of you in tandem." He looked at Lilah, an exasperated expression on his face.

Come on. Not even a dirty look? "Make me?" Lilah suggested with an eyebrow raised. Rolling her eyes, Lilah left the lobby, heading back up to her room.

Richard Mayweather's House

October 25th, 2001

They'd had a chance to get rid of that little Texan harpy, and they didn't take it. What the hell was wrong with those stupid white hats?

About the only thing of any value that had happened over the last few days, apart from this meeting with Richard Mayweather, was getting to see Cordelia and Wesley play-act at being Buffy and Angel. Their impressions were decently accurate and – not that she liked agreeing with Fred on anything – quite amusing as well. As was Angel's reaction, after returning from his visit with the resurrected Slayer, to the whole "Kiss me! Bite me!" episode.

But for the love of all that was unholy, when they'd gotten a perfect chance to let Fred go – two perfect chances, really – they didn't take either one. They didn't just ignore her when she ran off, and when her parents came along and they had a wonderful and even perfectly moral option – giving the former slave back to her parents so she could have a normal life, yada yada yada...

Wesley decided that then was the time to use his 'I'm in charge' voice and just go for it. Not that she thought any of the rest of the white hats were going to say no to letting Fred stay, but really. That was when Wesley decided to really take charge and overrule everyone on the idea of letting the Burkle woman stay in Angel's damn hotel?

Lilah put all that aside and knocked on Mayweather's front door. Arranging this meeting had cost her more than she'd liked, and at this point she was starting to run out of funds again. Maybe I should point them towards another drug dealer? But Mayweather would come through. He wasn't fond of Wolfram and Hart, and he was fond of whatever would irk them. Lilah getting her mother back would definitely irk them.

It was sunny out this early in the morning, so Lilah wasn't surprised when all that happened in response to her knock was the sound of the door unlocking. Impatiently, Lilah opened the door.

And then immediately, she had to duck.

Well, fuck.