Judgement

Chapter Eleven- Shoulda Let Her Freeze

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.
- Sally Field

Zuko kept walking not really paying attention to where he was going. He just knew he had a problem, a big one.

The Avatar was at the place they would be stopping for supplies. There was no way he could avoid it. They had to stop and his ship didn't exactly have a stealth mode.

This should be a good thing. He reminded himself. It's my chance to capture him. And then Katara would hate him. There would be no way she would stay with him after that.

He kept trying to think of ways to make himself happy in this situation. All ended with her hating him though. He was always the bad guy. He couldn't change that.

But he was supposed to be the bad guy, wasn't he? He was supposed to be mean and have people hate him. That's how he was judged. That's who he was.

He should be able to be the bastard who forced Katara to stay and got The Avatar. That's how people would think of him.

Zuko knew he didn't want to do that. He'd come to realize that who people thought he was, wasn't who he wanted to be.

I shouldn't have let her get this close. He thought. I shouldn't have cared for her, shouldn't have let her in my room. I shouldn't have put my arms around her. The first night when he wrapped his arms around her, just to put the robe on her, he knew it was something different. He didn't quite know what but he knew it wasn't just a crush. That second night, he wrapped his arms around her just to hold her and keep her warm.

That was the moment he knew for sure what he felt. The split second his arms encircled her, he knew that he loved her, loved her more than any other person in his life. And half the reason he held her both times was just because she was cold... Yep, shoulda let her freeze.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and kept walking. His head was beginning to pound. He couldn't understand what he was supposed to do.

He wasn't supposed to fall in love at all. He wasn't supposed to do a lot actually. Everyone judged him and had told him what to do. Maybe I should quit listening to other people. He thought. I'm not what everyone thinks I am. I could be the good guy. I am the good guy in some cases, aren't I? He groaned. I really should have let her freeze… both times. Then maybe this wouldn't have happened.

He kept walking with his head spinning in circles. There was no denying that he had fallen in love with his prisoner and that he wanted her. He hated to admit it but he had to. There really was no way around it. He didn't know what to do or how he would tell her. He could force her to stay, but he didn't want to and she'd hate him. He could ask her to stay, but she wouldn't. He could let her leave, but he didn't want to. He could do a lot of things, but none ended happily.

All of a sudden he found himself in his room, Katara sitting on the bed and giving him a questioning look.

"Something wrong? She asked. He didn't even realize he had walked into his room. He looked at her closely. He knew what he had to do even though he didn't want to. Judgement had been passed on him and judgement he would follow.

"No." He told her.

Okay it's short I'm sorry but it is kind of important. Zuko's going to follow what judgements tell him to... interesting. Next chptr should be up soon!