Another stupid story by me! Enjoy!

Egosh Egad + Gosh

Lycopene A somewhat healthy thing found in tomatoes.

Bella and Edward's Rather Exciting Day

Edward was pulling up to Bella's house in his shiny car. Bella danced out the door with a large, stupid grin plastered on her face.

"Wow, you look happy," said Edward, as usual pointing out the obvious.

"I had grapes for breakfast!" Bella said with a large amount of gusto.

A look of pure horror was frozen on Edward's face.

Bella laughed. "Fooled you! Hooray! Now I'm really happy!"

"I love you!" Edward shouted enthusiastically, reaching out from his seat belt to give Bella a big hug.

"I do too, my little love-sick puppy!" Bella said, reaching out to him, and the two of them huggled until they realized they were forty minutes late for school.

"Holy yak attack! We're late for school!" Edward shouted in a less-than-manly voice, grabbing his hair.

"Nooo, my perfect attendance award is down the toilet!" Bella cried, tears streaming down her poor, lovesick face. "How will we ever get to school without getting a scolding?"

"I know! Let's ditch!" Edward yelled. That was his solution to everything.

"We can't ditch! That's illegal!" gasped Bella.

"But it's healthy to ditch," Edward replied, giving Bella his big adorable eye look and sulking.

"It isn't healthy to ditch twenty-four days in a row," Bella said, tossing Edward out of the driver's seat- apparently she was immune to his trick. Edward folded up his arms like a pouty child and continued to sulk at not getting his way.

They drove to school. Edward refused to budge, making this apparent by knotting his seatbelt into his blue jean loops, so Bella decided not to waste any time arguing and just hoped he decided to show up for lunch and biology. She grabbed her backpack and raced off to first period, where she had to face the blackboard with an open can of soup on her head. But because she's a klutz, the can of soup fell all over her pretty t-shirt and hair.

When she left, Edward was awaiting her. It was tomato soup that had spilled on her, so he thought she was bleeding.

"AH! Who did this?!" Edward asked, trying not to stare because he didn't want to suck her blood. Not that he'd have to.

"My teacher." Bella wondered why Edward was having a spaz.

"THAT'S SO TOTALLY ILLEGAL!" Edward shouted, grabbing a medieval flail and making his way towards the classroom.

"Well, it's not fair, but… Edward, where'd you get that flail?" Bella asked, not sounding the least bit surprised or shocked.

Edward sniffed. "Your blood smells oddly of condensed vegetables."

"I'm not bleeding! This is soup!" Bella growled. "You're weird. Didn't you notice I wasn't hurt when I wasn't screaming in pain?"

He shrugged. "It was rather suspicious…" He said, poking the tip of a sharp spike on his flail.

Suddenly, Mike ran up. Once again, he was running on sugar he got from eating a delicious bowl of Count Chocula and Pop Rocks (neither of which are mine).

"Hey, Bella! Hello, Edward," said Michael, his voice dropping an octave as he said the accursed name of his archenemy. Edward was looking between Michael and his flail, an idea slowly forming in his maniacal head. Bella had to drag him away before his plan was put into action. Michael obnoxiously followed, swinging his arms back and forth like a skipping schoolgirl.

"There's the Easter Dance coming up!" Michael said. "Want to go with me?"

"I despise dancing with the power of a thousand burning suns," Bella replied, her voice thick with hatred.

"But I made you this hat!" Michael said, holding up a paper hat made from a newspaper painted purple.

"Is this why you're failing shop?" Bella asked.

Michael looked back and forth conspicuously. "Maaaaaaybe."

"Now its time for lunch! Yay, lunch!" Edward said. He tucked Bella under his arm like a football and ran to the lunch room at full speed. They got their in four seconds. Bella blinked.

"Wow, Edward, that was stupid," she said, giving Edward a thonk on the head.

"Yes it was. But it was also faster!" Edward said, smiling his smiley smile.

Bella shook her head. "One would think YOU had grapes for breakfast."

Edward scratched his chin quizzically. "I crave something to sustain my hunger."

Bella shrieked.

"No! I mean real food!" Edward shouted before she could curl up into a fetal position with her eyes closed. "Like people food!"

"You're a stupid," Bella said, shaking her head again. "I think you should try some table salt first. Just in case you, like, explode or something, it will be kind of mild."

"I want that red stuff," Edward said, pointing with an excited finger.

Bella blinked. "You want ketchup?"

"I crave this ketchup you speak of," Edward said, drooling like a puppy. A love-sick puppy at that. A love-sick puppy that has a sudden urge for ketchup.

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt," Bella said. She brought him a cute little packet of ketchup. He opened it and licked out all the yummy ketchup.

Edward rubbed his stomach. "Mmm… lycopene."

"Well?" Bella asked curiously.

Suddenly, Edward's face changed. "I'm melting, I'm melting, I'm melting!" Edward yelled, sliding to the floor.

"Egosh! Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella shouted, tears streaming down her face.

"Just kidding." Edward sat back up.

"That was mean!" Bella punched him in jaw.

"I took acting lessons once!" Edward said with a grin that he managed through a mouthful of broken teeth.

"So did I! I know! Let's take acting lessons together at the community house!" Bella decided for both of them.

"Okay!" Edward said, pleased he had found an activity for them to do together besides hugging.

So they went to biology and blew up stuff and then they got suspended so they actually had time to do stuff together to do something besides hug.

"Look, here's the community house!" said Bella, who was driving the car again for her own sake.

"Uber egosh! I'm so excited!" said Edward.

They raced inside, the two lovesick puppies full enthusiasm, only to find that the community house had been burned down. All except the front wall.

"I'm so disappointed!" said Bella, wailing.

Edward hated to see Bella so sad!

"Aw, we don't need the community house! Let's act together!" said Edward, picking Bella up and swinging her thirty feet above his head.

"Wow, someone took there happy pills this morning!" said Bella, who had run into a bird on her flight. It was now having a fight with her hair.

"Yay! Let's act now!" Edward said. He put on a very Shakespearean outfit. "To be or not to be? That is the question."

"Wow, you're weird. Did you know Shakespeare?" Bella asked.

Edward made a face. "He wasn't alive when I was. Speaking of alive, my birthday's coming up!"

"Egosh! How old will you be?" Bella exclaimed, a fantasy birthday already going on in her head.

"I don't know!" Edward said stupidly. "After the first fifty years, I really just stopped caring!"

"I know! I'll bake you a cake! Squee! Take me home so I can start!"

"Okay!"

Bella went home and made a cake. She made it entirely out of ketchup. Then she stuck one hundred or so candles on it and started walking to his house.

But in forks, without a little Saran wrap over stuff, everything just melts away in the rain that is food. Bella had no such Saran wrap and all that was left was a plate and a few candles that didn't float down the gutter. She showed up at Edward's door (how'd she walk all the way there, I wonder?) she looked like she'd taken a shower in her clothes. Which she pretty much had.

"Bella! You're so wet!" Once again, Edward stated the obvious. He gasped. "And look! You brought me a plate of extinguished, smoking candles! Thank you!"

Bella started crying. "I made you a ketchup cake and it went down the gutter!"

So Edward gave his little lovesick puppy a hug and a big cup of hot cocoa. Then they went to do more stupid, love-sick puppy stuff.

THE END

Or so you think! Mwa, ha, ha!