I do not own Attack on Titan or any of the characters belonging to thus.

Based off a conversation with my cousin, GhostiesandGhoulies, where she called Eren Levi's shitty beet as apposed to brat. Thanks auto-correct for the inspiration, as well as my darling relative for having such weird conversations with me!

Hope you enjoy!

"God don't you ever shut up, you damn beet?"

Eren lifted his gaze from the rough ground to the short corporal. It was a bright, sunny day and perfect for a walk, although the young man had to practically drag Levi from his office. He could hear their conversation replaying in his head.

It's the first cloudless day we've had in weeks, sir, you should walk and work, he'd suggested.

Why the hell would I do that? he could still feel the corporal's annoyed glare.

Come on, the sunlight is good for you. You'll turn into a vampire if you stay in your office all day. Walk with me, he'd pleaded.

No, brat. I don't want to get sweaty. Plus, what if a bird shits on me? Lance corporal Levi, always the cleanly man.

No bird is going to shit on you. They know you'd kill them, Eren smirked.

Good, then it's still a no.

But Eren could hear his voice crack. So again he pleaded, Please, sir? Don't you want to spend time with me? Checkmate; he had him right where he wanted.

Levi glared, but stood begrudgingly. Fine damn it.

"Did you just call me a beet?"

Levi narrowed his narrow eyes at the stubborn brunette. Of course the brat would prattle on for hours as they walked in the sweltering sun, ignoring every crude remark and attempt Levi made to get him to shut up, insisting on insolent chatter while Levi tried to read papers as he walked, but would perk up the second he made one damn grammar mistake. Levi stopped in his tracks.

"You got a problem with that?" Though he'd hoped his daggered stares would shut the shit up, Eren was not one to give up easily. Levi usually found Eren's laughter cute—but at his expense not so much.

"Shut the hell up, Eren! I meant brat god damn it. Stop being such a child!"

The soldier only laughed more. He found Levi's distress amusing, and strangely attractive—though he kept that to himself for the moment. "How do confuse brat and beet? Those words aren't anything alike!"

"I was looking at my damn papers! Did you expect me to not screw shit up when I'm trying to multitask with your incessant babble in my ear?" Levi grit his teeth. He looked seething. "Now shut your damn mouth, Jaeger, I have shit to get done. Don't forget you dragged me out here."

"Fine, fine," Eren shut his mouth, but he found it hard to keep closed. "Lot of beets in your paperwork?" he asked.

"Eren I swear to god shut the fuck up before I kill you."

"Right, sorry." A few moments passed. He just couldn't stop himself. "Hi, I'm Eren. I'm a beet."

"Eren, you're a titan, not a beet. You know what I do to titans."

That shut him up right quick. The silence became suddenly awkward. Levi regretted his words, but wasn't sure he could take them back either. So instead, he changed the subject back to the dreaded topic at hand.

"But you're my beet." he asserted.

Eren looked at him again. There was a slight pain to his eyes, but Levi could tell he'd made it a little better with his new comment. "I thought I was a titan? How can I be both?" there was a slight rue to his words, but Levi was confident he could turn it around. If he made a mess, he had to clean it up.

"You just can. Now shut up, Eren, or I'll cook you." He began walking again, his pace slow in hopes of baiting the younger to follow. He stretched his arms, flexing a little. Pick up on my cues, brat, he thought. He heard Eren let out a distressed grunt behind him. He ran to the corporal's side.

"Sir…I don't think that's possible. Beets are food, and titans are…not. Vital difference there. So which is it?" Eren was honestly confused now. Though Levi's comment had offended him a little, he'd been ready to walk past that and continue pestering him. He hadn't expected his superior to twist his own words back around on himself. And was he hinting something else or was he…?

"Not much of a difference, really, shit head. Both can be cooked, steamed, and eaten by me. So shut the hell up and let me work."

Eren didn't think he really wanted to work. Why else would he have agreed to come out here with him? Levi was skillfully dancing around his words, and Eren was unfortunately having a hard time following. Levi was a sort of enigma to him. He liked that.

There was a short silence as both were congealed in their own thoughts. Surprisingly, it was Levi that broke it. He was quite talkative today, though if Eren said anything he'd persist that he was always like that. "That is, unless you have a fucking problem being my beet."

What the hell was he getting at? "No, sir! I-I—but wait you would eat a titan? They eat people, so isn't that like second hand cannibalism?" Eren was trying to be witty, but he was so confused by the situation that he came across more rambling and stupid. Fuck me, he thought. He braced for Levi's insult.

It didn't come. But what did, Eren was even more unprepared for.

"Not a titan, Eren. But I'd eat you. You're fucking delicious looking." Levi's eyes looked the boy up and down. He tried to make his point clear. I love you damn it, now flirt back. He licked his lips slightly. Eren cheek's bloomed pink; that was a good sign.

Was that a compliment? Wait, is he trying to be romantic or something? Eren floundered. He wasn't really good at the whole romance thing, nor picking up on someone trying to romance with him. "B-but…if I'm a titan isn't that, like, the same thing?" Did I really just say that? I love him, but I can't say more than that?

"Why don't we go find out?" Levi grabbed Eren's arm forcefully and walked him forward. The brat had stopped in his tracks and not even realized it. He stood almost uncomfortably close—or at least uncomfortable for anywhere outside a bedroom.

Levi wasn't blushing at all. That made it harder for Eren to tell what was happening. Levi now dragged him—much like Eren had dragged him out—back in. Eren wanted to say something. He found the silence to be agonizing. "Wait…a-are we? You were flirting with me then? Y-you meant…?"

"What do you fucking think? Do I need to be even more obvious next time?" He walked swiftly down the halls thinking, the more urgently I walk, the less likely someone will stop for an untimely chat. He still clutched Eren's arm even though he walked much more willingly now.

"I-I'm not good at this…"

"Tell me something I don't know, shitty brat. You're about as romantic as a dish rag." Levi let his hand drift from Eren's arm to his waist as they approached the corporal's room.

Eren took his hand by surprise; Levi almost kicked him for the move but decided against it. Eren took Levi's hand a traced it around to his own lower back. His intense aqua eyes pierced the short corporal's calm greys. Levi could practically see the contemplation on Eren's face before the brat leaned into him. He planted his lips onto Levi's. He was a shit kisser, but Levi didn't really care—he could make up for the both of them on his own. He grabbed Eren's collar by the fistful and pulled him down to his height for leverage. Eren fumbled for the door knob with his free hand.

"Don't you dare think I'm having sex with you, shit-fuck."

"W-what? But I thought…?"

"Yeah, I know. But it was the only way I could get your stubborn ass to go inside. You're obviously fucked in the head if you think I'd do anything with you so sweaty. And did you even notice a bird shit on your uniform?"

Eren looked down at his clothes. His shirt was a little sticky from the heat. And his jacket had been shit on. How the hell did I not notice that?

"But Levi…? W-we uhh, I mean, I thought I was your beet!" Eren sputtered.

The short corporal opened his door. He smirked up at Eren's flustered face. Oh, he is so mine, he thought. He hoped he wasn't blushing—that would ruin the fun of Eren's confusion. "Clean up and we'll talk, stupid beet."

And with that, Levi shut the door and locked it..,