Disclaimer: "I do not own Rise of the Guardians, Brave, or any other Disney/Dreamworks/Animated films. All rights belong to Dreamworks, Disney, etc."
Chapter 2 Son of a Chopstick
Fun and games was something Jack enjoyed in life. He had plenty of it, never letting himself get tied down to something trivial like responsibility or relationships. Sure, he had "girlfriends", but it was never anything serious. It was only natural for him to date—but to Merida DunBroch—that was something all too much. She was the only girl he knew that wouldn't take his shit or charms. How the hell they were going to pass in being a couple was beyond him. Granted, he's never met her family before, but he's heard stories. Her Father was once a member of the British Armed Forces who retired after losing his leg during an operation. From what he could tell of her mother, she was a politician woman—a respected one at that. To his shock, she even had three little brothers, triplets to be exact. This was no ordinary family he was getting himself mixed with; it was something way out of his league.
Jack waited outside his sister's school, dreading the words that will help explain his newfound relationship with Merida. It wasn't until this morning that he told her how much of a pain she was, calling her a "she devil". Now it was all just sweet words like: honey, sweetie, babe, or possibly his personal favorite to get her mad, Sugar Bear. At least there was some fun out of the deal, pet names being one of them—he could be grateful for that. Also, this was the perfect opportunity to trap her in getting to read his story. There was no way she could turn him down now; if she did, that would only mean more trouble for her.
He saw Mary charging out of the school with her friends, having just finished her last class for today. Jack smiled and waved at her when she spotted him from afar, feeling more at ease when seeing her. However, it won't be long until he needed to head over to Merida's place later. Apparently she wanted him to come over to discuss more about their little predicament. It was urgent for them to meet her mother's requirements of a three-year relationship. God, Jack could have literally smacked her for that. It meant double the work, and that wasn't something he was looking forward to. Hopefully they could pull it off though—it was something they both needed.
Thankfully, he managed to call Jamie's mother for help in letting his sister stay over for the night until he got back. The only thing left was to tell her about it.
Mary came over to him, catching her breath. "Hey, Jack! How was work today?" she asked.
He nudged his head to the side, shrugging uncomfortably. "Well, it was…. interesting, to say the least. I finally got Merida to agree in checking out my story," he said, starting off with good news.
"Oh my God! That's great!" she cheered.
"Well, there's a bit of a twist to it," he said sheepishly with a sigh.
She tilted her head with confusion. "Really?"
"Yeah, turns out I also got a new girlfriend today…it's Merida," he confessed sullenly, mockingly waving his hands, "Surprise."
It took her a moment to registrar what he just said.
"Wait…. what?" she exclaimed.
He scratched the back of his head. "It's sort of hard to explain, but I sort of got suckered into playing Merida's "fake" boyfriend."
"How did that happen?" she asked, still quiet shocked.
"Long story short, it has something to deal with her mother," he explained with exasperation, "Merida just couldn't keep her mouth shut, and before I knew it, I became her boyfriend who she apparently has been dating for three years."
"Can she really do that?"
"No, I actually had every right to refuse, but…I did it because it finally gave me the opening I needed for my story. If I could survive this and actually get it published, it'll be worth it…. I hope."
"How are you guys going to do this?" she asked.
"Well, her family is coming this Sunday from Scotland. We have to have things figured out by then," he answered.
"Jack, just what were you thinking?" she inquired with disbelief.
"I honestly don't know, but you know me…I do things before I think," he said.
"Yeah, it's how you always mess things up too," she added.
He sulked at his sister and rustled her hair. "Like I needed a news flash about that. Don't worry so much; I got things covered. Hopefully this whole ordeal won't take long. By the time they leave, we would have already broken up. See? No harm done. So just play along, okay? I'm going to try and at least fix a date for Merida to meet you before they arrive. We need to show some standards that were a serious couple."
"So unfortunately, I'm a part of it too, huh?" she guessed.
"Yeah, as of right now, you are."
As worried as she was, Mary couldn't help but be excited. "My brother and his boss, this is sure going to be fun. I'll do my best then!"
"Thanks," he said, smiling with appreciation, "I'm sure Mom and Dad would kill me if they knew I was doing something like this."
She giggled. "Pretty sure they would."
"Anyway, since I have to see Merida later, I called Jamie's Mom to let you stay over. At least until I come back to pick you up from their place. I'll try not to take long."
She nodded, understanding his plans. "What are you going to do now?" she asked, already knowing the obvious.
"I'm off to get my cheat notes in becoming Merida's boyfriend, and to get my book published," he answered simply with a playful chuckle, "Hopefully it won't get me killed along the way before I even get the chance to do so."
His sister giggled. "Can't wait to hear all about it when you get back."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Merida paced herself around her apartment while speaking to her father on the phone. She had called back, becoming worried of where they were going to stay during their visit—and more importantly—how long.
"You sure you guys will be okay staying at a hotel?" she asked.
"We'll be fine, lass," her father answered, "Nothing we couldn't afford."
"I know, but just wanted to make sure," she said.
"We didn't want to bother you. We know you've been working hard," he soon spoke with a mischievous tone, "Especially now that we found out you have a boy in your life."
She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Mom told you, didn't she?"
"Aye, she wouldn't stop talking about it," he said.
"Great."
"Was it supposed to be a secret?" he asked.
"No, it's just, I didn't want to make a big deal about it," she answered honestly, "Not like we're engaged or getting married. He's just a…boyfriend."
"True, but to your mother, it's a life changing thing," he joked.
She sighed with annoyance. "I guess it was to be expected."
"Though I must admit, I'm pretty eager to meet the lad myself," he confessed, "Must be a real keeper if he managed to rope my own daughter to submission."
"Trust me, it's the other way around," she said confidently.
"Oh, is that so?" her father asked amusingly.
Just the thought of Jack actually winning her over with his charms boiled her nerves. There was no way she would ever allow it. It may impress all the other million girls out there, but not her. She was far more stubborn than that. Some may call it playing hard to get, but to her, it was all about respect. She wanted to be treated as an equal, not someone to be worshipped or looked down upon. Jack challenged her, never meeting a man who could rile her temper so much and live to tell about it. If anything, he took enjoyment out of it, almost like it was a game; and they were the only ones who knew the rules. Honestly, it irritated her beyond belief—for deep down inside—she secretly liked it. It was like playing with wild fire, either turning out for the best, or the worse. In the end, that's probably why she chose him—she was able to be herself.
The doorbell rang in the mist of her father's laughter. She paused and looked up from the sound as it repeated around her apartment.
"Dad, I got to go. I think Jack's here. I invited him over today," she said.
Her father fell silent. "Oh, I should…" he coughed, clearing his throat when he continued, "…leave you two alone then."
"He didn't come over because of that, Dad!" she exclaimed, her face turning completely scarlet.
He burst out laughing. "See you, Lass!"
"Bye," she mumbled.
They both hung up at the same time, giving her the chance to answer the bell. She walked towards the speaker and pressed the button to answer.
"Who's this?" she asked, wanting to make sure it wasn't some random person who got the wrong apartment.
"It's your darling boyfriend," Jack's said harmoniously.
Merida frowned from the tone inside his voice. "Come in, I'm on the third floor, you already know the number," she said drearily.
She pressed the button to unlock the entrance, giving him permission to enter the building. She waited for a bit, wondering if she should order food—assuming Jack ate already. It didn't take him long to make it upstairs, a knock soon coming from her door. She looked through the peephole to make sure it was Jack. His eye was zoomed right into the lens, making goofy faces that would surely catch her attention.
"Classy," she muttered, opening the door to let him in, "Took you long enough to get here. I just got off the phone with my Dad."
"Oh?" he said, casually entering her flat, "Did he say how long they were going to be staying here?"
"No," she answered sadly, "They actually don't know how long they're going to stay, just that they're coming to visit. I'm guessing they won't figure that out until they get here."
"That's reassuring," he answered bitingly.
She glared at him, gripping her hands into fists against her hips. "Let's just get this over with. I don't want you staying here long for my neighbors to start spreading rumors."
"Don't we want the rumors though?" he asked, "I mean, I am supposed to be your little boy toy."
"Boyfriend," she corrected firmly.
"Boyfriend, yeah, because that's so much easier," he said.
"Can you stop acting like this is a punishment? I'm still giving you what you wanted," she seethed.
"Oh that reminds me, here." He passed her a small binder containing his notes. "Here's the file to my story, hopefully you'll find time to read it. I did some adjustments, but I might make more changes in the future."
"Why? I'm stuck publishing it either way," she said.
He shrugged. "Still, I want you to see it. It's important to me."
She sighed. "Fine, if you really want me to." She opened the binder to examine it, never realizing he had taken off somewhere inside her apartment.
She looked up and was startled by his sudden disappearance.
"Jack?" she called out suspiciously.
"So, which drawer is mine?" he asked, shouting from inside her room.
She panicked when she heard a drawer being opened.
"What are you doing?" she shouted, pursuing his voice.
She entered her room and went into shock from what she saw. Jack was observing one of her underwear inside his hands, playfully stretching the elastic band with his fingers. There was already a good selection of her undergarments beside him, slowly emptying her drawer.
"Wow, these are pretty sexy," he commented deviously, "I mean, seriously, who knew you shopped at Victoria's Secret. And these bra sizes…" He picked one up and held it against his chest, "…Never expected you to be this big. Most of the time you look flat chested—must be the sports bras holding them puppies back."
Merida didn't have time to think, her rage taking over. She charged towards him, letting out a battle cry.
"Woah!" Jack yelped and avoided her assault, jumping over across her bed.
"Give those back!" she demanded.
He held his hands out in defense. "Chill there, firecracker! I was only just emptying your drawer out to make space for my stuff!"
"Why would you need to do that?" she asked.
"Merida, you told your mother we were dating for three years. I think she would assume some of my stuff is here when coming over. I mean; it's only natural. I'm just trying to make this relationship "believable". You don't have to kill me for it," he scorned.
She calmed down a little, but still kept her glare. "Well, you could have asked my permission first."
"Where's the fun in that?" he teased, sitting up on top of her bed, "Unfortunately I didn't bring my clothes, or anything tonight, but I'll be sure to drop them off tomorrow."
She crossed her arms over her chest and responded haughtily, "Aren't you making yourself too comfortable?"
He grinned like a child during Christmas morning. "Well, got to make the best of it, right?"
"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes, "Are you hungry?"
He was stunned for a moment from the unsuspecting question. "I could eat a little something," he answered truthfully.
She walked off out of the room. "I'll order us Chinese then while talking about our plans. I got the menu inside the kitchen, so find out what you want so I can order."
He nodded, leaning forward in an attempt to pick up one of her undergarments.
Merida whipped her head around and snapped. "Don't touch those! I'll put them away myself! I don't need anymore of your pervy fingers touching them than you already have!"
He glowered at her from ruining his fun. It didn't take him long to follow after her, carefully observing her furniture while walking into the kitchen. There was so much he wanted to explore, wanting to know what sort of home she had made for herself. He had to get to know her somehow besides work, and even though it was all pretend, he was curious of what it would be like to be her boyfriend. Call it a game all you want, but he knew things were going to be fun.
Merida slid the menu to 'Mushu Dragon' over to him. "Here, decide what you want to eat so I can order. I'm starving."
He picked up the pamphlet and scanned through his choices. "I'll stay simple and get the Beef Lo Mien combo with some Honey Chicken on the side. Oh, and some white rice. Ask for some extra sauce on the side, if you don't mind."
"That's simple?" she asked, obviously mocking him.
"Well, what are you going to order?" he countered snootily.
"I'm going to get my usual. They'll know when I tell them the address," she said.
"Wow, you order a lot from there huh? You must be a lonely person," he commented crudely, "That, or you don't know how to cook."
"That's not why!" she barked.
He decided to ignore her. "So, are we going to order or not?"
She grumbled at him and picked up the phone to place the order. Jack in the meantime took the moment to investigate the rest of her apartment. He strolled around her living room, reading off the books and DVDs she had stacked on her entertainment set. Scanning through some of the titles, he was shocked to see '50 Shades of Grey' to be amongst them. He took the book off the shelf, flipping through the pages with a humorous grin.
"You seriously have a copy of this?" he asked.
Merida put down the phone after finishing the order. She blushed heavily from the book in his hand, doing her best to act composed about it.
"What? Is that a problem?" she countered, placing her hands on her hips, "It's not even mine; Rapunzel just let me borrow it."
"Yeah, sure." Jack wasn't totally convinced, his smirk still visible to see. "So, what's your favorite part? I personally love the bondage scenes."
"You would," she whispered hatefully, "You look like a masochist type."
"Well, when dating you, I might have to be," he said.
"Is this a joke to you?"
"I'm just trying to have a little fun, Merida." He placed the book back, his tone genuine. "As crazy as this whole plan is, I want to make the most of it. Better than just moaning about it."
"It's not like I don't appreciate your effort, but, it just makes me…."
"Vulnerable?" he asked within a heartbeat, reading her mind like it was glass.
She kept quiet, not sure how to answer.
"Anyway," she spoke to change the subject, "We're only doing this because of my Mother. I wouldn't want to jeopardize our cover by making myself seem uncomfortable."
"Right, so let's get to it then," he said, taking the seat across from her inside the kitchen.
She breathed heavily. "I figured I should get to know your sister. We should at least get that much done this weekend before my family arrives this Sunday. It's why I called tomorrow off."
"That's great, boss, but what about me?" he asked.
"I called off tomorrow for you too," she said.
"Good, because I had the same idea as you do. I even told my sister about this little charade we're doing. Luckily, she doesn't mind. My Uncle North, however, is still in the dark. I want to try and keep it that way," he quietly declared.
"Ashamed to be with someone like me?"
He gave her look, somewhat displeased by that thought. "No, I just don't want to make things more difficult than they already are. Especially when it comes between our families. And honestly, that question should be the other way around."
She seemed insulted. "Why would I be ashamed?"
He sighed. "Just forget it."
She frowned from his dismissal to answer.
"By the way," he started, "My sister has school tomorrow. I would make her skip, but she has a habit of not wanting to miss a day. The damn apocalypse could be happening outside and that girl would still go to school."
"Wow, I used to try to skip school all the time, though Mom would always catch me and force me to go," she said with a light chuckle.
"Same here." He laughed. "The point is, I think it would be best if you came by tomorrow in the morning to do the honors in dropping her off. It's a good chance for you guys to meet, at least to me."
She pondered over the idea. "Hmm, it does sound like a good idea, especially since we're off."
He smiled at the odd, but fairly cute gesture she did with her nose when thinking aloud—was it always that small?
"What are we going to do after we drop her off at school? Go shopping?" she asked sarcastically out of wit.
He looked up at the ceiling with his hand underneath his chin. "You know what, that actually sounds like a good idea."
"What? No! I hate shopping!" Merida declared in horror.
"Merida, we're not shopping for a dress, relax. However, I do think we need to buy each other gifts."
"Why?"
"Well, don't you think it's odd we've been dating for three years, and haven't gotten anything for each other? I'm sure your mother would be suspicious about that. We should have stuff that helps define our relationship somehow."
She hated to admit it, but he was right.
"Fine, I guess that's reasonable," she said.
"Yeah, and be sure to have a drawer ready for me tomorrow," he advised with a cocky grin, "I want to be sure to have some space to put my stuff in."
"Seriously? Do we need to do that?" she exclaimed angrily.
"Oh stop it, just think of it as payback of me letting you see my underwear. I promise, they're silky and clean," he said with a wink.
Before she could retort in disgust the doorbell to her monitor buzzed, signifying that their Chinese food had arrived. Merida walked towards the door, and pressed the button to answer.
"Who's this?" she asked.
"Chinese delivery!"
"Oh, come right up!" She pressed the switch, allowing entrance.
Jack started to take out his wallet. "I'll pay."
"What? No, it's my apartment. So I'll pay," she said.
He looked at her for a second, putting his wallet away. "Okay, you're the boss."
She gave him a disgruntled look, realizing what he did. A soft knock came from the door.
"Delivery!"
Merida answered and took the bag from the kind man. "Thank you. How much is it?"
"Twenty-four dollars," he answered.
Just before Merida could pay him, Jack intervened and placed the money in the man's awaiting hand.
"Here you go, you can keep the change," he said.
The redhead was startled from his sudden offer, even captivated.
The deliveryman accepted the payment and nodded with appreciation. "Thank you, sir."
Jack waved and closed the door. "Now we can eat."
"You know, you didn't have to pay," Merida said begrudgingly.
He flicked her nose, causing her face to squint in shock. "Just be grateful little fox, this hound's got it. No need for formalities, it's weird coming from you."
She rubbed her nose, pouting the entire time when taking her seat at the table. They opened up the bags, taking out their own separate food. Jack examined Merida's before passing it to her.
"So, your usual is General Tso's chicken with pork fried rice?" he asked, taking out another packet from the back, "And fried dumplings? A lot of food for one lady."
She snatched the Tupperware from him. "Don't judge!"
He laughed. "I'm not judging at all! It's just good to see a woman eat than worry about her figure."
"Well, I work out, so doesn't come out too much of a surprise," she said, taking out a plastic fork.
"Plastic fork, huh?" he asked, breaking off the chopsticks they had left offered in the bag, "Don't like chopsticks?"
She opened the lid to her dish. "No, I um…" she began to stammer, "…I don't know how to use them."
He chuckled, holding his chopsticks perfectly while balancing his food. "Are you serious?"
She glared at him. "Yes, no need to make fun of me about it."
"No, it's just." He reached over, grabbing her fingers while placing chopsticks in her hand. "Here, just try it."
"I told you! I can't do it!" She struggled to pick up a piece to prove her point.
"See!" she declared.
"That's because you don't have anyone around to teach you," he said, "And besides, last time I checked, you're not a quitter."
She frowned and bit the inside of her cheek, knowing he was right. He gently fixed her fingers into position, adjusting her hold on the wooden utensils.
"There, now try it," he said, "The trick isn't really so much on the grasp, as it is on how you hold it."
She surrendered and listened to his instructions, making a move for the rice. When trying to lift some into her mouth they instantly fell back onto her plate. Merida fumed from her lack of skills.
Jack smiled to reassure her. "Rice is a bit trickier. Try the dumplings instead."
She did as he said, succeeding in pulling one into her mouth.
"I got it!" she cheered with pride.
Jack was stunned by the childlike and triumphant response. It wasn't what he expected, but it was definitely something new that he liked.
"See? That wasn't so hard," he said.
She nodded and continued to test around with the chopsticks for her chicken. They ate peacefully for the rest of the night, almost like a real couple. Merida got the hang of the chopsticks for a bit, but after some impatient attempts at the rice she returned to her fork. Jack sat amused the entire time, poking fun at her every chance he could get. They managed not to argue almost throughout the rest of the night—something that surprised them both. Despite their differences at times, Merida was happy to have him over. Usually it was always a late night dinner eating microwave food and a cup of apple juice before bed. Jack actually made the night tolerable for her to enjoy it without feeling too much alone. Even though she won't admit it, she was grateful for his company.
After finishing her meal, she gave a soft yawn. "What time is it?"
Jack checked the time from her stove. "Wow, is it that late already? I got to go pick up Emma." Jack pushed his seat back and started gathering his things. "And you, young lady, should go to bed. You got to get up early."
"I do?" she asked, already slipping into slumber land.
"Hey, don't just sleep on the table!" he yelled, setting his stuff down, "Geez…"
He looked around for a sign, not sure if he should touch her. He was afraid she'd smack him if he did. There was no possible way to avoid it; he had to tuck her in. He walked around the table, adjusting her body and weight over to him. Merida was already halfway unconscious when he picked her up bridal style, carrying her over to the couch to lie down.
"You're heavier than you look," he said, lightly joking.
"Shut up, you're just too skinny and weak," she mumbled, soundlessly beginning to snore.
He carefully placed her down, grabbing a hand-stitched quilt that was hanging over her couch to put on top of her. He stared at the design, speculating the people on it to be Merida and her family. They were mostly all redheads, her mother being the only brunette it seemed. It was quite an odd feeling, especially when he was supposed to meet them soon—though honestly—he wished it were under different circumstances.
Merida cuddled herself under the warm silk blanket, feeling at home than she ever did before. Jack shook his head and smiled at the peaceful expression that came over her face. She truly was a handful, but like this, maybe she wasn't so bad. While she slept, he quickly and quietly began to clean up her table. He was dragging time by doing this, but he felt it was the right thing to do than leave her with a big mess. Once everything seemed spotless enough, Jack started to write down a note for her. He put down the address to his apartment, and carefully slipped the paper into the palm of her hand.
"Make sure you get up in time, or we'll be late. Remember, it's at eight," he said, "Goodnight, Merida."
He opened the door to her apartment, making sure it was locked on the other side before entering the hallway. He checked to see if she was still asleep, giving him the heads up that it was okay to leave. He gently closed the door, already eager for the next day to come.
End Chapter