Chapter 7

Seargent Anthony Renzulli walked into the Major Case squad room at the Five-Four. It was well past the end of his tour and if not for some business he needed to address, he'd be on his way home to a much deserved beer, his comfy recliner and a Yankees' game on his beloved big screen. Renzulli found the desk he was looking for, but it was empty, so he scanned the rest of the squad room until he found the man he was looking for. He walked past a few detectives toward the interrogation room in the back that Detective Danny Reagan was exiting with a handcuffed perp, who he promptly handed off to an awaiting uniform.

"Hey, Reagan. You earning your paycheck?" He asked as he eyed the squirrelly man being led away to holding.

"That and then some, Sarge. What are you doing here? Come to watch me do some real police work?" Danny joked.

Renzulli's expression turned serious, not in much of a mood to carry on like he normally would with the older Reagan brother. "I need to talk to you. In private."

Danny's brow furrowed at the seargent's tone. "Yeah. Yeah, come on in here," he replied as he motioned Renzulli into the interrogation room.

Renzulli walked in and paced the room as Danny closed the door behind him. "So what's up, Sarge? You look like you got something on your mind." But he kind of knew in his gut what this was about.

"Yeah, well, I needed to talk to you about Jamie," Renzulli said and stared back at the detective as if that simple sentence explained all of his concerns.

"Okay. What about Jamie?" he asked.

Renzulli sighed. "He's not handling this thing with the Monroe kid very well. I'm starting to see cracks, Danny, and there's only so much I can do if he really crosses a line on the job," he revealed.

Danny placed his hands on his hips. "What do you mean, 'only so much you can do'?" he asked. "Tell me what's got you so worried."

Renzulli threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "I know the kid's not a talker to begin with, but he's practically a zombie these days. I don't think he's sleeping and he hasn't been hanging out with the guys since everything happened. Even the guys down at the gym haven't seen him in the ring," he explained.

Danny pressed his lips together and stared at the older man. He had noticed the forced efforts to appear normal at Sunday dinners but he figured the kid just needed his space to deal with everything. "He just needs time, Sarge. What he went through was pretty heavy."

"You don't think I know that, huh?" Renzulli shot back. "I was there when he pulled that other kid out of a burning building. But this?" Renzulli shook his head. "I can't begin to imagine what he's feeling with this."

"Did something happen?" Danny asked.

"He and Janko reported to a domestic today. Guy beat his wife and their little kid got in the way, took a hit to the face. Janko wouldn't say much cause she's not gonna throw her partner under the bus and I don't blame her for that. But she also doesn't know what to do with him."

"What happened, Sarge?" Danny asked a little more forcefully.

Renzulli leaned against the back wall. "Guy went after your brother. Scratched him up, took a few hits to the face, but he's okay. It was his reaction after that could have been a problem. Went off on the guy's face like it was one of his punching bags." Renzulli paused. "Guy may have deserved it, but if it wasn't for the evidence of the perp assaulting an officer, it would be difficult to ignore the amount of damage he did in return. And no one's gonna be able to protect him if he tiptoes further across that line again," he warned.

Danny looked down at the tabletop. He hoped that Jamie just needed a little time to move past this. But maybe that was just him not wanting to deal with this nightmare of a case, the fact that his kid brother was dealing with a lot more than he wanted to admit or even that the angry Jamie he'd encountered that first night had thrown him for a loop. He could accept the fact that he was the abrasive hot head of the family, but seeing it in his Harvard educated younger brother was disconcerting.

He couldn't let this bring his brother down.

Danny looked up at Renzulli. "I'll take care it, Sarge. I appreciate you looking out for him."

Jamie opened the door to his apartment, which, lately, had been a lot like Grand Central Station. "What are you doing here, Danny?"

"Hello to you, too," Danny shot back. He was hoping to get a more positive reaction to his visit, but no such luck. "Linda and the boys are out at a school thing. I brought a pizza so I could have dinner with my kid brother." He held the box up for show and to hopefully get an invite in.

Jamie rolled his eyes and opened the door wider to allow him entry. He was too tired to argue.

Danny turned his head and studied his brother as he walked past him, catching sight of the slight bruising on Jamie's face and the scratches along the side of his neck.

"Woah. Look at you. Looks like you got into a fight with Wolverine," Danny quipped. "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Jamie said as he headed to the living room where he already had a scotch waiting for him.

Danny followed him and placed the pizza box on the coffee table. He removed his suit jacket and took a seat on the sofa next to his brother. "That doesn't look like nothing, kid. You have trouble on the job today?"

Jamie glanced at his brother. It was a little too much of a coincidence that he shows up with dinner after tour on the one day he nearly beat the crap out of a perp. "I don't want to play any games, Danny. You're here 'cause you already know what happened today. So who came and told you I screwed up, huh?" He glared at Danny, before continuing. "Just say what you want to say, get it off your chest and go home because I'm not really up for company tonight."

Danny was a little stunned, again, by the anger. "Jamie, listen, we're just worried about you, kid," he said.

"Nothing to worry about. I'll get over it. But that's not gonna happen if I got everyone harassing me all the time!" Jamie snapped.

"No one's trying to harass you, kid," Danny assured him before taking a deep breath. He turned around on the couch to fully face his little brother. "I know no one can imagine what it was like -"

"What do you mean?" Jamie interrupted. "Of course you can! You got full color snap shots of that damn afternoon, of every useless thing I did -"

"You did what you could, Jamie!" Danny shouted, hoping he could get through to him. He stared at his brother. "No one blames you for Aidan! You've got to stop blaming yourself because the only one responsible is behind bars."

"Yeah, awaiting trial. That's just great," he said with a humorless laugh. Jamie got up and grabbed a sheet of paper off of the dining room table and walked back to the sofa where he dropped it in Danny's lap.

Danny read the document, seeing that it was a subpoena for a witness deposition in the criminal case against Brian Monroe.

"Cause it's not bad enough the bastard killed his kid, now he can plead not guilty and turn this into a circus. Now I can gotta give his defense attorney a deposition and relive everything yet again in anticipation of the real fun - when I get called to testify. I have not turned on the television or read the paper since this happened. What's it gonna be like when the trial starts, huh?"

"I'm sorry, kid," Danny said. He hadn't realized how badly this had affected his brother.

Jamie scrubbed his hands across the top of his head. "Do you know I can't walk by a parked car without looking in the window?"

Danny stared back, not quite sure how to respond to that.

"I can't help it," Jamie whispered as he shook his head. "I terrified I'm going to come across that again, Danny." Jamie's eyes teared up and he clamped his mouth shut before he lost it. He was a freaking cop. He saw people doing terrible things to each other almost everyday. But this? He just could not shake it and he didn't know why.

After a minute, he said, "And today, when I saw the little boy with the bruise on his face, I froze and let that guy get the jump on me. But when he went after Janko and his wife and kid, I saw red and started to punch the hell out of him because all I saw was Monroe's face. I didn't do worse because Eddie pulled me away." Jamie pressed the palms of his hands into his weary eyes.

"Nothing's gonna make this better overnight, but it will get better. You've got to believe me. Just don't shut us out, because you can't keep this bottled up or you'll explode again like you did today. Believe me, I speak from experience," Danny said. "And Brian Monroe is not worth screwing up your career or your life," he finished.

Jamie dropped down onto the couch, tired and deflated. "Yeah."

Danny exhaled. This was a start.

Frank looked up from his paperwork when he heard a quiet knock on his office door.

A second later, Jamie's face appeared through the gap in the door with a strained expression. "Hey, Dad," he greeted.

"Hey, Jamie. Glad you're here. I was starting to get hungry," Frank said as he got up and walked around his desk.

Jamie closed the door and stayed put as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Don't get calls to come up here very often," he replied with a small smirk.

Frank pursed his lips when he got a good look at the shadows on his face and the marks on his neck. "Heard you had some trouble at a domestic yesterday," he said.

Jamie gazed at the floor. "Who'd you talk to? Renzulli or Danny?" he asked.

"You know officer-involved incidents come across my desk," Frank replied as Jamie looked at him again. "And I spoke to your brother," he added.

Jamie nodded, but said nothing.

"I wasn't lying. I really am hungry and wanted to eat lunch with you, so grab a seat," Frank instructed as he nodded to the food laid out in the sitting area.

Jamie took a seat on the couch as Frank got situated in the arm chair.

Frank noticed the way his son sat hunched forward, wringing his hands together. "Jamie, you know there's no shame in admitting you're having trouble with all of this. Anyone would. We're all here, ready to listen and help you through this."

"I know," he responded quietly.

"Do you really?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, Dad, I do. Now," he admitted. "I talked to Danny some. It helped. Slept better last night."

"That's good, Son." Frank took a breath as he decided how he wanted to broach a request that came through his office yesterday. "Jamie, Aidan's mother, Melissa Newman, she's planned the funeral mass for the day after tomorrow."

Jamie was surprised. "I thought it would've happened already," he said.

"Well, the ME's investigation held everything up and she really didn't have the means. But with all of the media attention, people have come forward to help her with the costs to give him a proper burial," Frank explained.

"That's good," Jamie said.

"Yeah, it is. She called the department to ask that we let you know about it. She wanted to know if you could attend."

Jamie's face turned pale.

Frank leaned forward. "She was grateful for your efforts."

Jamie blinked repeatedly. "I, uh, I didn't even consider..." Jamie was at a loss for words. "I don't know if I should," he said. He looked away, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. He didn't know if he could bear it, but he also didn't think he could turn down the mother's request.

Frank could see the indecision in Jamie's eyes. "No one can force you. But I think it could offer you some closure, Son," Frank said gently.

Jamie looked his father in the eyes and nodded as he swallowed thickly. He was probably right.