Captive Heart – 6th in the Leo x Asha series. Set after Workout Plan 1 & 2
Rating: M – Sort of lemony. Not quite M but too much for T
Asha stretched and sat up in bed. The morning sunlight filtered into the bedroom through the sheer curtains. To her left was Leonardo, still asleep. It was a rare thing indeed that he had not risen with the dawn, a testament to how relaxed this vacation had made him. He lay on his side, mask and all clothing off, and his tail unfurled and wagging lazily in his sleep. This was the perfect opportunity to try something that April told her about. She told her that their private parts came out of their tails, and Asha just had to see for herself. That day in the shower was wonderful, but she had only gotten a short glimpse before it was gone.
She got up and went to the bathroom to freshen herself, washing her face and brushing her teeth. She could hear the sound of April's high pitched but hushed laughter, and figured her and Mikey were up to a little hanky panky themselves. She went back into the bedroom to find Leo still sprawled out on the bed.
Asha peeked around his shell to see if he were really asleep or just lying there. When she was satisfied that he was indeed out of it, she crawled into bed behind him and gently stroked the back of his tail. It stiffened, and she stopped but nothing happened. Asha continued this time stroking the tail slit, very gently. Leo adjusted himself until he was on his carapace, legs spread a bit. His breathing became heavier as he began to churr in his sleep. Like the day in the shower, she found the sound both endearing and sexy. It was like a deep, low rumble that emanated from his chest and she thought it quite manly.
To allow herself more access and a better view, Asha laid on her stomach between his legs. Then another idea struck her. In the shower he had licked her and it was awesome. She wondered if he would also enjoy something like that, but as she looked at his body she didn't quite know how to proceed. She inched her face forward getting closer to his tail slit. It seemed almost moist and his tail was very stiff. Tentatively she darted her tongue out and swiped across him. Nothing. A bit disappointed but no less determined to get a reaction she swiped again, this time not so timidly. She let her tongue linger on the spot, surprised that he didn't taste too bad. He was a bit salty, but nothing out of the ordinary whatever the ordinary was for this kind of thing. Leo churred loudly this time, his eyes popping open and then he propped himself up on his elbows. He frowned, obviously not quite coherent, and seemed to be trying to figure out if this was a dream or what. When Asha kissed his tail and then gave it a longer lick, he realized without doubt that it was no dream at all.
In one motion that Asha didn't have time to react to, Leonardo reached down and grabbed her by her shoulders, turned and then pinned her face down to the bed underneath him. A sort of growl emanated from his throat as she felt some of his weight on her back. He was biting her neck, holding her in place and was panting heavily. Clad in only a lacy push up bra and boy shorts, Asha almost instinctively raised her butt to come into contact with his lower plastron, and also something else. Leo had emerged. Asha was nervous but ready, her body and base nature responding to Leo's rough treatment. This was how cats of almost all breeds mated. It was aggressive, assertive, and the females gave themselves to their alphas without question. Asha growled low in her throat in anticipation of what she assumed would happen, but a few moments passed. Leo's breathing, at first heavy and almost ragged was evening out and becoming normal. She had felt his erection at first also, but then nothing. Slowly he got off of her, kissing the back of her neck though before completely getting up. He had left a somewhat noticeable bite mark there.
She felt the weight of him on the bed as it shifted. Leo sat on the edge of the bed. Asha, confused and feeling some type of way, just kept laying there face down for a bit before also sitting up. Leo had his head in his hands massaging his temples. His muscles were bunched up and tense, and when Asha reached to soothe him he flinched away from her touch.
"So, what the hell is going on Leo? I don't understand what happened," she asked, still confused but it was giving away to anger quickly. He needed to explain the last two minutes of interaction. He looked up at her, noting the tone in her voice. It was hurt feelings and anger. Raph used that tone when they had really bad arguments, and hurled low-blow insults at each other. It was eerie how much she reminded Leo of his temperamental brother.
"You can't sneak attack me like that. Not at this time you can't," he said. She waited but he offered nothing more than that. He placed his head back in his hands.
"Why not?" she was speaking in clipped tones now.
"I've never really had to explain this to anyone, but it's spring time. I'm…I'm in season. Mating season, okay?" He said exasperated already, the well of his legendary patience already running dry.
"I know that already, idiot. Why do you think I'm trying to get you to sleep with me?" Asha ground out through gritted teeth. Getting a man to sleep with you should never be this hard. Something about this scenario gnawed at her deep in her gut. She shouldn't ignore it, but she pushed it aside anyway. He looked at her with a slightly stunned expression on his face. Of course she would know. If nothing else, April would have told her that. He hadn't thought they were close enough to have those kinds of conversations, but apparently they were.
Leo sighed heavily, "Well what you may not know is, it puts me on edge. I get very….irritable and aggressive as you just witnessed." Tension left his body as he face once more took on his customary calm look. "I apologize about that by the way. I shouldn't have been so rough with you."
Asha smiled a little and scooted next to him. Then she positioned herself behind him, kneeling on the bed and massaging his massive shoulders.
"I liked that," she cooed in his ear, then placed a series of kisses down the side of his face and neck. He patted her hand gently, both acknowledging her act of kindness and stopping her from doing it. He stood up and started to make his way out to go to the bathroom.
"Why?" A simple question with a not so simple answer. He stopped but did not turn to face her.
"Why are we going through this again? If this is mating season, and I'm willing to be your mate, why is it so difficult for you to have sex with me? Why is it so hard for you to love me?"
There it was. Like a two ton anvil had been dropped from the Empire State building and landed squarely on his shoulders. It was a question he pretended to wrestle with. He had tried to love Asha, and to some extent he did, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop thinking of Karai, and it was crazy as hell because Karai was dead, but yet the feelings he harbored for her never left him. They haunted him, and held him captive, and had even managed to poison what would have otherwise been a wonderful relationship with a young woman whom he could find no faults in as far as being a girlfriend was concerned. However, Leonardo was no coward. As much as it pained him, as much as he knew it would pain her, he faced her.
She was standing there, waiting. Always waiting patiently for him to get his head out of his ass, waiting for an answer, waiting for his approval, waiting for his love, and he had kept her waiting. He swallowed thickly. He would meet this challenge head on like he did all others, and hoped that the truth would set them both free. She was patient. He knew that if he smiled and reached for her, all would be okay, the last few minutes forgotten. If he kissed her she would melt, if he touched her she would allow him to do as he pleased, and that was more of a burden on him than he allowed himself to admit and realize before this moment. She offered herself to him with a wholeness and a purity that he did not believe he would ever experience in his lifetime. This should have been easy, but it was anything but. He walked towards her and grabbed her shoulders again, this time very gently and looked into those amber eyes of hers. This would have been, could have been, should have been one of the best things to happen to him in his life, but it was bittersweet. She deserved more than his halfhearted effort when she was giving him all of her, unbridled and unfiltered.
Donatello.
Yes, Donatello would and could give her what she deserved. Suddenly, Leonardo felt a pang of jealousy and possessiveness at the thought, and it was then that he knew he needed to do this now or never.
"Asha, I can't….I can't do this," he almost whispered to her. Asha looked up at him, blinking slowly as if just waking up from a deep sleep.
"What can't you do? Just say it and have done with it Leonardo," Asha said. It felt as if the words were not coming from her, but from some person perhaps distantly related to her. Maybe some person in another reality was speaking on her behalf.
"I can't be with you Asha. I wanted to, but I just can't give you what you need from this relationship." He spoke softly. He tried to cup her chin, but she snatched her head away from his grip. He dropped it back to her shoulder. Asha looked him in the eyes once more before turning away. He naively hadn't expected her next question, which is why it hit him like an eighteen wheeler.
"There is another woman isn't there?" It should have been a stupid accusation given that she was speaking to a mutated giant turtle, whom no one but a select few humans even knew existed, and who certainly wasn't playing the field, but somehow it didn't feel stupid to her at all.
"No." Simple. Plain. True. There was no other tangible, live woman that was taking her place. Asha gave an almost imperceptible nod, squirmed out of his loosened grip and headed for the bedroom door. The sight of her slumped shoulders and the way the sparkle left her eyes, made his heart break. He hated, absolutely hated hurting those whom he loved, whom he counted among his family. It was his love for her that made him do what he did, but there was no way to explain that without sounding like a complete asshole.
Time passed him by. He hadn't moved a muscle for at least ten minutes or more. He was in a daze, wondering if he had done the right thing, the good thing, the fair thing. He imagined that he had, but how could hurting someone you cared about be good? He didn't know the answer. One foot moved like lead and landed in front of his other as he started to move. He stopped short at the door. His face was wet with tears that he didn't even know he had been shedding. He wiped them with the back of his hands and tried to make himself presentable. He felt unburdened now, but also ashamed of that very feeling. He wasn't ready for his family to know he had broken up with Asha, and possibly broken her heart also. He walked into the empty hall. The bathroom was only a few feet away. He moved towards it. He hoped he could make it in there, before anyone saw him. He only felt secure when the door was shut and locked behind him. In the shower, he couldn't tell if he was crying or not, and that was just as well.