Tachikomatic fun!
"miracle at section nine"
In the hanger of section 9, December 25th, 2:00 AM, all of members of section nine are gone and all of the tachikomas are asleep.
One of them awakens to a loud sound.
"Huh?" thought the tachikoma.
Suddenly it caught a red blur in the corner of its vision. It turned around to see what it was and found a fat man wearing a red suit and carrying a big red bag.
The man stopped and stared at the tachikoma.
The tachikoma froze at the instant the strange mans eyes met it.
"Did he notice me" thought the tachikoma.
"What the hell?" thought the man.
After a few minutes, the man picked up his large red sack and dug in it. He pulled out a bow and placed it on the tachikoma.
"There! That should bring some holiday cheer to this bland institution" the man said.
He grabbed his bag and walked off.
Without hesitation the tachikoma followed him.
The man walked down a dark hallway, and stopped at a door, he tried to open it, but it was locked.
"Stop right there!" shouted a voice.
"Huh?" said the man in shock.
He turned around to find a tachikoma standing in front of him with its gun up and ready to strike.
"So you thought you could break in and steal information huh? TERRORIST!!!"
"Huh?" said the confused man.
"Don't play stupid with me!" shouted the tachikoma practically shoving its gun into the mans face.
"Terrorist?…. You've go this all wrong,.. I'm not a terrorist, I'm Santa Clause"
"Santa?"
The tachikoma searched its memory for the name Santa, all results where zero.
"There isn't a single member of section nine that possesses that name! Drop the bag and surrender and I'll go easy on you!"
Santa laughed, "oh how cute, you must be one of those robotic guard dogs"
He began petting the tachikoma.
"You're a good boy aren't you? Aren't you, do you want a bone, do ya, do ya?"
He reached in his bag and pulled out and bone and stuffed it into the tachikomas gun port cover.
"There you go, now be a good doggie and run off"
He picked up his bag and walked away.
The tachikoma was furious "DOGGIE!!" it shouted angrily.
"I'll show you doggie!" the tachikoma aimed for Santa as he was walking away and fired its wires at him.
Poor old Santa didn't know what hit him, before he knew it he was completely tied up.
"Hey what is the meaning of this!" he said with a muffled voice.
"Can it! Save you're breath for the major when she comes back tomorrow"
The tachikoma grabbed Santa and dragged him off.
-the next day-
"Comrades! I have single handedly saved section nine from a terrorist attack!" shouted the tachikoma as it stood on a box in the middle of the hangar.
The other units gathered around the tachikoma.
"Wow did you really?"
"Was he armed?"
"Was he a full cyborg"
"If you want to see the culprit look up!" said the unit on the box.
The other tachikomas look up, to find a tied up Santa hanging from the ceiling.
Santa continued to struggle to free himself.
"Wow! It had to be hard to take down that guy" said one of them.
"He looks like one big cyborg to me, how did you do it?" said another.
"Did you use your guns?"
"Did you use your grenade?"
As the other tachikomas asked questions about the method used to take down the man, one unit was looking over the man very carefully. Suddenly it realized why the man looked so familiar.
"Ah guys" it interrupted the group.
"What is it" asked the unit standing on the box.
"This guy is not a terrorist, it's Santa Clause"
"So? There isn't anyone who works here named Santa Clause" said the tank on the box.
"He doesn't work here!"
"I know, that makes him an intruder"
"You don't get it do you?" sighed the tachikoma as it dug around for a book.
After a wile of searching it held up a book titled The Christmas Story.
"It says in this book, that Santa is a good jolly person who comes to peoples homes and leave gifts for them" it said.
"So? Sounds like a bugler to me"
"He doesn't steal anything, he leaves things for people!! How does that make him a bugler?!" shouted the frustrated tachikoma.
"Get me down from here!" shouted Santa in a muffled voiced.
"Shut it tubby!!" shouted the tachikoma on the box as it pointed its gun at him.
"Listen!! The guy you've captured is Santa Clause! Not a terrorist!!" shouted the tachikoma.
"Right, and I'm a Jigabotchi" said the one standing on the box.
"Look! We don't have any more time to argue! The major will be here any minute!"
"So?"
"So, if the major finds out that you captured Santa Clause in the dead of night while we were suppose to be sleeping, she will send you or possibly all of us back to the lab!"
"Why would the major do that? I helped protect section nine" said the unit on the box.
"Well lets start from number 1, you're not suppose to be awake at that time, so that could send up a red flag that you're defective"
"It's the natural oil in my Neurochip" said the tachikoma on the box.
"Second we're not suppose to have natural oil" said the other unit.
"Mr. Batou would take the heat, the only thing that would happen to me is an oil change"
"Also since you've also pulled a lot of stunts recently, I think the major 's had enough and will probably have you terminated after this"
"What are you talking about, I didn't cause any trouble this time!"
"You trashed the place"
"He,.. He,.. Struggled" stuttered that tachikoma nervously.
"Will that be true on the cameras?" asked the other tachikoma.
"Ahh,… well,… "
The tachikoma looked at Santa.
"HELP ME GET HIM DOWN BEFORE THE MAJOR KILLS ME!!!" it shouted.
The hangar door opens, all of the tachikomas freeze, its Batou.
"Hi Mr. Batou,… what brings you here?" asked the tachikoma on the box.
Batou stopped and looked at the tachikomas.
"OK, what are you guys up to" he said with a sigh.
"Nothing, just decorating for Christmas" lied the unit on the box.
"Decorating? isn't it a little too late?" he asked.
"Oh, Mr. Batou, its never too late when its Christmas."
Batou scratched his head in confusion.
"Where do you guys get this from?" he asked.
He hears a muffled scream come from the ceiling.
"What the?" Batou said as he looked up.
He sees the tied up Santa. Batou's arms and jaw dropped in amazement.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" he shouted.
"Ah,….. Merry Christmas Mr. Batou!" shouted the tachikoma standing on the box.
-in Aramaki's office-
Aramaki checks a stocking hanging from the corner of his office.
"Huh?" he said
He grabbed the stocking, turned it upside down and shook it.
Realizing that there's nothing in it he throws it to the ground.
"You son of a bitch!! I never believed in you anyway!!!" he shouted.
He walked back to his desk angrily, sat down, and began some paper work.
The End!
Great! I just F&ed up Christmas for every one writing this story!
Oh well.
More Tachikomatic fun is sure to come.
-Bloo96
(Merry Christmas)