Flee to Destiny

by BrownB

Book 1 - AU - Manga based - Usagi grew up in the states, but when her parents are killed she must flee to Japan to find her guardians and protect the world from the evil attacking it. Her past is determined long before her future begins, and Usagi isn't sure she can be the Princess the Senshi are waiting for, or the love Mamoru longs for.

10. Like Mother, Like Daughter

Flee to Destiny
By: Bethany
Originally released: 3/2002
Revised: 7/2015

Chapter 10 - Like mother, like daughter

There was a hard reality that I had to face in the hours to come. Somewhere in the last five months I had come to rely on Tuxedo Kamen. Always - even when we weren't speaking - he was there, in the shadows. Continuously waiting to help me if the need should arise. If I so much as slipped, his hands were always there, always ready to catch me. If I needed more power, he was there, freely giving.

So in the first couple of hours after my capture, I just knew that Mamo-chan would find me. I waited anxiously to see his face, watch him burst through the door and sweep me off to safety like so many times before. The hours ticked by like years to me. I stared for so long at the door - at the guard that forever stood like a statue next to it - that a couple of times I imagined Mamo-chan coming through it. But when I blinked, the guard stood again and nothing had changed.

Five hours into my imprisonment, I became worried. Surely Beryl must have captured him - nothing else would keep him from me. I feverishly prayed he was alright. When someone came to my prison to bring my dinner, I picked at it thoughtlessly. He said nothing for a while, just stood beside my other guard in the shadows of my prison and watched me stare at my own thoughts. When I had forgotten to take a bite for several minutes, he approached me nervously. "Miss, if you don't eat the Queen will be very upset. It isn't good for the child for you to not have anything in your stomach."

Blankly I looked at him, tears caught him my eyelashes that made everything appear hazy. Depression nagged at my soul. The blind optimism I had placed in my dashing hero was failing. I was never so frightened in my life. My body began trembling uncontrollably and I felt cold, a deep cold that invaded my body down to my bones. Please hurry, I repeated over and over again in my mind. Please Mamo-chan.

From the best I could tell, I had been sitting in this room nearly eight hours when suddenly the door to my cell flew open. Expectantly, my eyes full of hope; I looked to see who was entering. Queen Beryl stepped through, her heels clicking like gunshots as she stepped to the bed. "Good evening, Princess. Still waiting for your Prince to save you?" She gave a thin, silly laugh and I rolled my eyes.

But it occurred to me then that I had been so sure - so confident that Mamo-chan would save me that I hadn't even thought of what would happen if he didn't. Roughly the guard who had stood in the corner of my prison yanked me off the bed and we started out of the room. The halls were damp and cold. Occasionally we passed a torch on the wall; otherwise the walls were bare stone. A chill ran up my spine as a draft from ahead of us pulled down the hall, going to whatever destination it had. We seemed to walk forever. My lower back start aching so that I had a hard time standing up, let alone walking. I imagined complaining wouldn't go over too well, so I went forward in pain.

Abruptly we stopped in front of a set of double doors. Beryl motioned to the soldier next to her and he stepped forward to open the doors. The wooden doors were obviously heavy and the hinges groaned in protest, squeaking loudly. The room beyond was massive. There was barrels of fire in each corner, providing the only light in the room. The shadows of the flames danced along the ceiling, each moving together in such unison that it seemed like one huge party.

In the middle of the room was a long flat stone bed that seemed to rise out of the floor. In desperation I tried to pull my arms free from the guard holding me, but failed. I wanted to run, far from here; Anywhere to protect my baby. But Beryl's servant was strong and prevented me from making an escape. Forcefully I was laid on the stone table and strapped down.

Everyone in the room grew deathly quiet. The flames made the shadows dance across the walls, the shadows looked longer and more ominous. My entire body began to tremble, and tears poured unnoticed down my face. "Onegai," I begged, but no one here would answer my plea.

Beryl lifted her hands above her and began reciting verses from a book in a language I couldn't understand. Above me a black mist appeared, whirling around in circles, becoming larger with every passing moment. The wind from the movement caused the flames to flicker faster, the shadows dancing wildly. When it came closer to me, I tried to squirm free. But the straps that held me wouldn't budge. Still I fought against them, yanking, moving any way I could. Closing my eyes shut tight, I screamed with all I had in me. The baby, mine and Mamo-chans's precious daughter, moved frantically in my womb. It was painful how hard she moved, I felt she could break me from the inside. I could feel her thrashing, in a panic, try to fight the invading force. Newfound terror exploded in my mind and spirit. I fought against the straps harder still; crying, screaming in fear and need. The more I moved the tighter my binds seemed. "MAMO-CHAN!" My shrill voice echoed throughout the stone room.

Through all the pain, all the terror of the moment - nothing prepared me for when I felt my baby stop moving. Suddenly, it was as if she gave up the fight for her life. My screams stopped, my heart breaking. "No," I whispered - new, hot tears of a pain deeper than the physical pain, falling down my face. I felt my soul's agony - over and over I begged my baby to keep fighting. But there was no response. My body was numb and unmoving save for the dull drumming of my heart. "Please baby," I begged, gasping for each breath like it was my last. "Please don't give up. I need you. We need you! Mama and Papa love you so much."

The being above me grew darker until I couldn't make out the ceiling any longer. My eyes took in everything I could see from the stone bed I laid on. But the most dominant force in the room was not the evil. In my eyes it was the pain and heartache. Let them kill me, I thought. It doesn't matter now. In the back of my mind I heard Beryl still chanting - now in Japanese. The ghostly vision of red eyes appeared in the mist above me - a long hand reaching towards my stomach. I closed my eyes, giving up. There was nothing left to fight for now. She had already stolen the most important thing of all. I wanted to return to Mamo-chan, I wanted to return to Shingo and my friends... but I couldn't think past the fact that she was lost. Our little Usagi was gone.

"RISE!" Beryl screamed, her voice so loud it blocked out my every thought. Her eyes were completely black and glassy as she spoke, her hands above her head. "Take the offered body of the child and be born again, my Queen! Rise oh great an-" Her voice suddenly was cut off sharply, ending in a gargle and then, silence.

Weeping still, I waited for the physical pain to begin. It never did. When I reopened my eyes the only thing above me was the stone ceiling, the flames still dancing frantically. The black swirl had disappeared, leaving only the ominous feeling behind. The flames moved in my line of sight. They seem to be mocking me, reminding me of my loss. In agony I moaned, shutting my eyes to block out the reality that was facing me.

"Usako!"

I felt a slight smile tug at my cracked, dry lips. There was no pain in my body, not even the dull ache of my heart. I was dead, I concluded. And in death I could hear Mamo-chan's sweet voice call for me. Maybe I will be with my baby now. My beautiful baby who never had a chance at life on either the Moon Kingdom or Earth.

"Usako!" I heard Mamo-chan call again. "Onegai, Usako, come back to me. Come on!" I smiled, opening my eyes. But instead of Heaven, or a beautiful dream that would last forever - I saw Mamo-chan's face with the stone ceiling of the cave behind him. Above me, so close our foreheads were touching, was Mamo-chan's face. His eyes were looking into mine, his hands cupping my face. "Usako," he whispered in a relieved tone. "Oh God, you scared me. I thought you had left me. I thought I was too late."

"Mamo-chan?" His words dropped the blanket of reality over me again. I didn't think I could hurt more than I had already. But looking into Mamo-chan's eyes made the pieces of my heart that was left crumble into dust. I began sobbing again. Finding my arms free, I weakly wrapped them around Mamo-chan and sobbed against him.

"Shhhh," he whispered into my ear. "You're okay now. I'm here, nothing is going to hurt you." His soothing words couldn't stop the pain in my heart, however. And it hurt even more knowing I had to tell him.

"I'm not okay Mamo-chan. She-she... that devil... she took-she killed our baby." The words, said out loud from my very own lips, drove me into even more heartache. It made them final, and I don't know how, but it hurt more. I wanted to curl up and die. But even that escape had been denied to me. I cried harder, my chest heaving.

Mamo-chan's eyes reflected the same heartbreak I felt. A tear traveled down his face, but I could see he wasn't going to drown in his sorrow like I was. Not yet. I felt him slide one arm under my knees and the other behind my back. His voice was low and sad when he spoke. "Put your arms around my neck. Come on Usako, you can do it. That's a girl," he whispered as I numbly obeyed. Emotional exhaustion set in my bones. Even though I fought to stay awake - I felt myself fall into a deep sleep.

When I next awoke it was dark. For a terrifying moment I thought I was still in Beryl's prison. But here there was windows, and the moon playing peak-a-boo with the clouds assured me I was at least not still trapped. My bones ached, as did my eyes and chest. It took a moment for my memories to fully return - when they did, I suddenly wished they hadn't. I sat up on the bed. My chest was hollow, out of tears to cry. For now. I stood on shaking feet and went into the living room of Mamo-chan's apartment. The clock on the mantel ticked softly, the time 4:38 a.m. The sofa couch was pulled out and Minako, Rei, Luna and Artemis were asleep on it. I tiptoed past and found Ami and Makoto asleep on an air mattress in the floor.

I walked slowly like a zombie through the apartment. My burning eyes looked up, noticing the balcony door was open. Slowly I stepped outside and into the soft drizzle of rain. At first I didn't see anyone, but on second glance I found Mamo-chan sitting in the corner, his knees drawn up to his chest. He was staring towards the moon and didn't see me.

The light in his eyes was gone. Bleak and careless he stared forward. I shivered, scared of what it might mean. "Mamo-chan?" I called, my voice quivering despite my attempts to steady it.

He blinked, looking up at me like he had seen a ghost. I walked to him, kneeling down to place my hand on his. Inside his tight fist was a crumbled piece of paper. He didn't say anything when I took it, only stared at me as I began reading it out loud. "This letter is to inform one Chiba Mamoru, citizen of Tokyo, Japan, of the results of the paternity test..." My eyes watered and my voice left me. Scanning on through the letter, I found the words I was looking for. "...in conclusion to such tests, the child of one Tsukino Usagi, also a citizen of Tokyo, Japan, is 99.99999% positive that you are said child's natural father..." I let the paper slip from my fingers as I fell to my knees in front of Mamo-chan and burst into tears. I felt Mamo-chan pull me to him, his tears falling in my hair as we both wept for our baby.

The light drizzle soon lead way for larger drops of rain, and soon the wind gusts followed that made the steady drops sting against our skin. I lay still in Mamo-chan's arms, allowing the rain to wash away my tears and the wind to carry them away. Mamo-chan gently picked me up and carried me inside, past the sleeping Senshi and into his bedroom.

My Prince laid me down on the bed, staring at me intently. Getting on his knees beside the bed, I watched as he leaned over and kissed my hair. His lips traveled over my forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin and neck. I closed my eyes, letting his kisses smooth my pain. His confident fingers unbuttoned my blouse, leaving a trail of heated, urgent kisses down my chest.

Suddenly he stopped. Confused, I opened my eyes and saw him staring at my bare stomach. Tears began falling down his face - splashing onto my skin. His shaking hands were held over my still swollen stomach for what seemed an eternity.

Abruptly a sob left his throat, his tearful, grieving voice mumbling as he laid his cheek on my stomach. "No, no, no, no," he cried, over and over, gripping the sheet with one hand and rubbing my stomach with the other. I felt my own tears return, and placed the pillow over my face to cover the sound of my grief. "Onegai," I heard Mamo-chan beg in the voice of a man whose heart had been broken. "Please, don't leave your Papa and Mama..." Mamoru wept for a while. I tried to find it in myself to comfort him, but all I could do was cry with him. His was the last words I heard before sleep thankfully took over - giving me a few hours of relief from a world I didn't care to be in.

---

Rei called into work for me the next day. I was scared to talk to Motoki myself. If he was to start asking questions I knew I would break down again. With heavy steps the Senshi of Mars came back into the bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed next to me. "Motoki told me to tell you he hopes you feel better soon," she mumbled.

"What did you tell him?" I asked, still not looking at her. The hollowness in my heart felt stronger in the daylight.

The sun was bright, but still I stared towards it. No matter how bright and cheerful the day seemed, all I saw was gray skies and gloom.

"I just said you weren't feeling well," her voice faded off and she grabbed my hands, forcing me to meet her eyes. "Usagi, are you sure you lost the baby?" Her voice flickered with hope, but her eyes were full of tears.

I couldn't cry anymore. I didn't have the strength. My face void of emotion, I meet her gaze. "Rei-chan, I could feel the baby moving - fighting the evil. And then, then she stopped. I-I just knew that she was gone then."

"You know you've got to go to the doctor, right?" Rei whispered. A few tears fell down her face as she spoke. "It's not... not healthy for you to continue to carry," her voice broke off; unable to continue. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me with all her might. "We're here for you, Usagi. We are all here for both you and Mamoru-san." She let go, looking slightly embarrassed by her show of emotion. "Anything you need, just ask, ne?"

"Rei-chan, what happened yesterday? What took you all so long?"

The Soldier of Fire clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap, then wiped her face free of tears. She acted as if that was the last thing she expected me to ask. I realized it probably was. But I just hadn't been able to ask Mamo-chan, I was already too afraid he would blame himself. "Mamoru-san went closest to the building, searching for that man. Ami-chan... she screamed that she couldn't find a life force inside and we needed to get out before we got hurt." She stopped, staring off at her memories. "We all got out and that's when Mamoru-san noticed you were gone. We looked everywhere, but couldn't find you. It wasn't for about half an hour before someone said they had seen a man grab you and disappear. Mamoru-san went crazy, shaking the poor man until Uranus pulled him away. Ami-chan worked for hours to find where the portal had opened. But it wasn't until evening when she got it right and we could follow the man who had taken you. It didn't take long to find the room you was in. Thankfully we had the advantage of a surprise attack."

As she spoke the memories of waiting, watching for Mamo-chan; came back to invade my mind. The horror I experienced when I realized he was too late. "Beryl, what happened to her? Is... is she dead?"

Rei, to my eternal relief, nodded her head yes. "Uranus went in ahead of us, saw what was happening and stabbed Beryl to death before all of us even made it in the room." She smiled slightly. "No questions asked, just in her normal manner."

We both looked up as the bedroom door creaked slowly open. Ami knocked lightly on the door, peeking in at us. Reimotioned for her to enter and she did so, standing at the end of the bed. I saw that she had also been crying. It seemed my pain was everyone's. I felt slightly better knowing I wasn't alone.

Ami cleared her throat, putting her glasses on her face. "Usagi-chan, if it's okay I want to do a scan on you before we head to the hospital. I tried to scan you last night, but whatever barrier your henshin provided for the baby wouldn't allow me to get an accurate reading."

I nodded, not letting her words sink into my mind. The Solider of Water opened her computer and began typing. Behind her, Mamo-chan came thru the door and watched quietly. I paid her no attention until she stopped, giving me the same puzzled expression that I had seen on her five months earlier.

"What's that?" Mamo-chan asked, coming up behind Ami and pointing to the screen. Ami shook her head, walking around to the side of the bed and hitting more buttons. Mamo-chan followed her, looking over her shoulder at the screen.

Ami clicked the compact closed with a sigh of frustration and looked at me. "Usagi-chan, it could be my computer picking up the baby's um... presence. Well, I think it would be best if you went onto the hospital now. My mom is already expecting you."

We all stared at her blankly, Mamo-chan regaining his voice first. "What are you saying, Ami?"

Ami turned around, biting her bottom lip. "I'm not saying anything, because I don't know. But I think it would be a good idea for Usagi to go on to the hospital." The Genius Senshi didn't look as worried as she did confused.

A mixture of feelings swept through me. I nodded, standing up. Mamo-chan came over to my side and when our eyes locked I saw a spark of hope in their blue depths and I prayed it wasn't in vain.

I stared at my entwined hands. Ami had gone after her mother almost fifteen minutes ago, but it felt more like hours. Mamo-chan sat beside me in the waiting room - rubbing the back of my neck reassuringly. It felt like there was a knot in my throat that I couldn't swallow. My stomach twitched like a million butterflies were trapped inside me.

"Usagi-san?"

I blinked, looking up. Dr. Mizuno stood in the doorway, a chart in her hand. She smiled, walking in and sitting a couple of chairs down from us. "Ami tells me you think you lost your baby?" Her voice was soft, her words not pounding into my broken heart as much as they would have if she hadn't.

I nodded my head. Mamo-chan put his hands on my arms and squeezed lightly. Dr. Mizuno nodded, folding her arms across her chest. "Have you had any vaginal bleeding?"

"No," I replied.

"Any pain?"

"No," I replied again. Unless you count what's in my heart. But I didn't say this aloud for fear I would begin crying again.

Dr. Mizuno smiled, looking acutely confused. She leaned forward. "Usagi, what makes you think you've lost the baby, then?"

I felt tears cloud over my eyes as I remembered Beryl's words; her plans. The agony of feeling my baby inside me, fighting for her life and then losing that struggle. And the knowledge that even though she was there, inside me, I could do nothing to help her. Breath by breath I tried to fight my tears from falling - but couldn't. I collapsed into Mamo-chan's supporting arms and once more drew from the seemingly endless well of tears in my body.

Dr. Mizuno moved to the seat next to me, rubbing my back. "Okay. You really seem to think you lost it. So why don't we go do an ultra-sound and take a look. Then take things from there?"

I heard Mamo-chan agree and he helped me up. I leaned against his broad chest for support as we followed Ami's mother down the hall. The walls were decorated with various posters of children from the womb up to a couple of years old. I closed my eyes, burying my face against Mamo-chan's shoulder. The sight of what might have been nagging at my mind, weighing down my heart. We finally entered a room on the right and Dr. Mizuno had me lay on the bed while she washed her hands.

I couldn't bear to look at the equipment that just one short month ago had made me cry in light of the miracle in my body. Now I wanted to cry for the same loss. I closed my eyes as Dr. Mizuno applied the cream to my stomach. The cold didn't even register to my numb body, it was nothing compared to the feelings that ran through my heart,veins... soul. She placed the equipment on my stomach and I waited.

The room was as quiet as the outer regions of space as Dr. Mizuno searched the ultra sound screen for my baby. I knew any moment she would confirm that my baby was gone. Under my closed eyelids I could plainly see Mamo-chan's eyes - and the hope I had seen in them earlier. I peeked out from under my lids at Mamo-chan. His eyes were staring at the screen intently, his hands griping mine.

Dr. Mizuno looked at the screen, puzzled. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the disappointment, the loss of hope yet a second time in Mamo-chan's face.

"I can't find the heartbeat," she mumbled, more to herself than to us. "There's no movement..."

I shut my eyes tighter, my grief opening up again. No, no, no. Please don't let it be this way, I begged. As I laid on the bed, tears soaking my face, I began praying.

Please Lord, I begged. Please! Don't let it end this way! I know that I done wrong by this soul, but I love her so much...

"Usako..." I heard Mamo-chan gasp. "What are you doing?"

I didn't open my eyes, couldn't. Faintly I heard Dr. Mizuno inhale sharply. The speaker of the ultra sound began a light thumping.

Please God, please!

Mamo-chan told me later that the light that shone from my body was even more intense than my henshin, so much that both he and Dr. Mizuno had to cover their eyes with their hands. It reached every corner of the room, even lighting up the hallway where my guardians stood waiting.

Ami couldn't explain what had happened, even though she tried for days. But I could, I knew without a doubt in my mind what it was.

One minute there was no heartbeat and then there was.

And nobody would ever tell me it wasn't nothing short of the will of God. The miracle of life.

Tears flowed down my face yet again. But these weren't the hot, burning tears of pain. No. These were as warm as the sun on a spring day, breaking through the clouds to shine on me and the restored life inside me.

For the first time in so very long I was happy to be alive. To be me. At that single moment in my confused existence with Mamo-chan by my side and our baby alive... life was perfect.

-End Chapter 10.

There, whew! A chapter without a cliffhanger. Aren't you proud of me? ^_^

I still don't own Sailor Moon, however I have recently discovered that one of my coworkers is an awesome artist, so I will soon own some Sailor Moon art work and that's kinda like the same thing. A little. Maybe not, but I'm excited!

To answer a question posted in reviews, this story is 15 chapters long. Then the next book in the series, No Greater Love, has 12 chapters and then the third book, Forever More, has 8 chapters (I think?) and actually isn't finished, so I don't know what it will have at the end.

I apologize for how short this chapter is. I think this is the shorter chapter of the entire book, so the next ones will start picking up more.

Thank you everyone who reads, reviews, follows, etc! I appreciate my readers so much ^_^!

God Bless!
Beth