Flee to Destiny
By: Bethany
Originally Released: 3/2002
Revised: 7/2015

Chapter 11 - Normal... or not

"Breathe, Usako! Come on, you can do it!"

With all the strength I could muster, I gripped Mamo-chan's hand as hard as I could. I saw the strain on his face to not say that I was hurting him. Evil thoughts entered my mind as I squeezed harder. You wanted to share in my pain? I think I can arrange that for you, bucko!

The doctor at the foot of the bed popped up over the sheets so quickly, and with such a stupid smile on her face, that she reminded me of a jack-in-the box. "You're doing great, Usagi!" she beamed at me. "Just a few more pushes and we'll have all of them out!"

It could have been the pain killers, but did I just hear her say all of them?

"ALL?!" I screamed. Beside me Mamo-chan was saying something about broken fingers, but in light of the doctor's comment I ignored him.

"Oh yes," she replied, nodding her head up and down quickly. Vaguely her lack of control of her bobbing head reminded me of that jack-in-the-box again. "There's four. Quadruplets!"

"WHAT?!"

"AHAHAHAHA!" Mamo-chan screamed. I glared over at him when I realized that he wasn't screaming about the number of babies - but rather at his hand. It resembled something off a cartoon the way it was bright red and about four times its normal size. It throbbed in sync to the blood pounding in it.

"PUSH!" Dr. Mizuno ordered.

"Usako, you're kind of hurting me here..." Mamo-chan whined, tears coming out of his eyes.

"Yeah, come on Usagi - PUSH!" Suddenly I was surrounded by all the Senshi and the lunar cats in cheerleading uniforms, shaking pom poms in my face. Artemis (wearing a bright pink skirt and halter top) was leading the group in cheer. "P-U-S-H! What does it spell? Push! Push Usagi, push!" was the words they all cried at once, followed by waving the pom poms around as they jumped.

"Here comes number three!" Dr. Mizuno yelled from the foot of the bed. "Keep pushing!"

"P-U..!"

"Usako, you're killing me here.."

"-S-H!"

"Come on Usagi-san, here comes number four!"

"What does it spell?!"

"Usako..."

"PUSH, Usagi! Push!"

"AHHHH!" I sat up in the bed, sweat dripping from my face and my hair drenched. My breathing was labored as I opened my mouth and sucked in air. My eyes snapped open, my hands reaching to pull my night shirt up to be sure I was still pregnant. Never in my life was I so happy to see my large, round stomach. I breathed a sigh of relief, falling back on my pillows and allowing myself to relax, if only for a moment.

The bedroom door flung open about that time, Mamo-chan running in followed by Shingo and Luna. "Usako? Are you okay!?" My love seemed terribly confused for a moment when all he saw was me lying on our bed. He looked me over again before scratching his head. "But... I heard you scream..."

I nodded my head, finally able to calm my racing heart down to an even pace. Mamo-chan sat beside me on the bed, wiping off a drop of sweat that was running dangerously close to my left eye as I began my explanation. "I just had the weirdest dream..." I began, feeling silly for having woken up screaming and scaring everyone to death as a result.

"It's perfectly normal for pregnant woman to have strange dreams," Luna stated in her standard 'I know everything' tone. She lay down on the foot of the bed, still looking at me out of the corner of her eye as she began washing her face. "If you want to try and get some more sleep, I'll stay in here with you."

While the idea of going back to sleep was an appealing one, the thought of seeing Artemis in a pink cheerleading outfit again was definitely not. Gratefully I smiled at my guardian cat, but shook my head. "That's okay, Luna. I'd rather stay awake than face the Senshi cheering "Push, Usagi! Push!" in my dreams."

Despite the worried look on my beloved's face, he cracked up laughing at the mental image he received from my words. I glared at him and pushed the covers aside. "I think a hot shower is in the works."

"And then we have a surprise for you!" Shingo said excitedly. I could tell from the moment he ran in the room he was sitting on a secret so large there was no way he'd make it through the next ten minutes without saying something. Mamo-chan immediately put his hand over Shingo's mouth, casting a sly glance my way as he shoved my brother out of the room and shut the door.

"Chiba Mamoru, what are you up to?" I asked him, hands on my hips.

"Nothing," he mumbled, grinning like a Cheshire cat at me. He came over to the bed and raised my shirt again - placing his lips on my stomach. "Good morning," he whispered. "How's Papa's baby girl this morning?" In response to his question the baby kicked. "She hears me," he told me for the umpteenth time. Ever since Dr. Mizuno told us that the baby could hear everything we said now, he made it a point to talk to my stomach - ten or twenty times a day. As he cooed and talked to his daughter, she kicked my stomach again - hard.

"Yeah, she hears you alright," I pointed out, placing his hand where she continued to happily kick. As I stood up, she jabbed her foot in my stomach again. "I swear, she's going to be a kick boxer when she grows up. Not even born yet and already giving me a hard time."

"Only five more weeks and she'll be kicking the air instead of you," he assured me, his eyes following me as I grabbed a towel from the linen closet.

I stopped, casting a sideways glace at Mamo-chan. He was staring at me, his lips in a small smile. I felt my face warm as a blush crept up my neck to shade my cheeks. He smiled wider as he noticed my reaction, his face lighting up. Slowly he walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and rubbing my stomach. "Have I told you how much I love you lately?" he whispered in my ear, his warm breath on my neck.

"Not today," I answered, trying to keep a straight face and failing completely. He always knew what to do, what to say to make me weak at the knees. I settled back against his chest; knowing very well I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I tell you what," his deep voice continued as he stepped away from me and twisted the lock on the bedroom door. When he turned again his gaze locked with mine. I could have drowned in their depths for the rest of eternity. "How about I run you a nice hot bubble bath, give you a foot massage and wash your hair..."

"Ooooh," I sighed. "A foot massage and my hair washed? What have I done to get such special treatment?"

A mock pained expression crossed Mamo-chan's face and he placed his hands over his heart. "You question my motives, Usako? Can I not just do it out of the love I have for you? Because I feel so badly that I can't share in your experiences?" For a moment he almost had me believing he was upset. Almost. I stared at him until he broke. "Or can I not try and find a way to keep you occupied and out of the rest of the apartment long enough for Shingo to forget what he knows?"

I couldn't help laughing as I rolled my eyes at him. But who was I to turn down an offer like that? My center of gravity had long since left me, so that most things that required bending over or moving a certain way became more like a challenge from a game show. I had never thought of myself as clumsy, but walking in a straight line for me was about as hard as it was for a drunken man. And washing my long mass of hair was an obstacle that had left me in tears more than once just this week alone. Sometimes I felt so stupid for loosing it like I did. I wasn't the only woman on Earth to have a baby, yet I felt so very alone. No matter what Mamo-chan did to be a part of my pregnancy there was no way for him to understand what I felt.

"The water is ready, Usako," my beloved announced from the bathroom door. He ran his fingers through his hair, a lock of his rich, ebony hair falling back over his forehead again. He smiled at me, his blue eyes dancing with love. For the moment I found I could push aside all the unwanted thoughts clouding my mind. I hoped they didn't return this time.

Mamo-chan (bless his heart, I think he had no idea what he was getting into) had not only washed my hair and gave me a wonderful foot massage - but had blow dried my hair and brushed it until it gleamed. So after taking a long, relaxing scented bubble bath - as well as all the perks - the dark thoughts of earlier this morning did seem to subside. I hummed to myself as I pulled my hair up into a pony tail rather than my normal two buns and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. My little one was a lot like Shingo and I, it appeared. She got rather hostile if I didn't eat first thing in the morning.

As I passed Shingo, forever sitting in the living room floor with the Nintendo controller in his hand, I kissed his cheek and bid him good morning. With his usual "Morning, Mama," he went back to the game like he had never been interrupted.

With a slight smile of amusement, I went into the kitchen where Mamo-chan had placed a stack of blue berry pancakes on the table. "Feeling better?" he asked, moving to kiss my lips and trying to not spill dish water in the floor at the same time. He failed, mind you, cursing under his breath as he grabbed for the dish towel to clean it up.

"Immensely," I replied, giggling at the sight of a six foot two man on his knees cleaning up spilled dishwater. Not only that, but the view from here was great also. Geesh, what a cute butt he has. Shaking my head, I tried to focus on something else. "Mamo-chan? Do you think it's healthy for Shingo to spend so much time on that game?"

"Huh?" my beloved asked, looking through the doorway and into the living room. "Oh, sure. If anything it helps his hand-eye coordination." I gave him a puzzled look that said I didn't really believe him. But he ignored it and went back to washing dishes. "When I was his age I would have loved to sit around all day playing those games."

"When I was his age I was out having fun with my friends..." I noted, again worrying about Shingo's solitude. He hadn't seem to make any friends here, like he had back home. "Mom was always busy taking him to skating practice, soccer practice, a birthday party - something."

"I'm sure he just needs time to make new friends. This has all been hard on him, but he's a good kid. He'll make friends soon enough." I nodded thoughtfully, trying to hide the worry from Mamo-chan. If he noticed my distraction, he said nothing. I ate in silence, the sound of Mamo-chan running water and clanking dishes the only thing that invaded my thoughts. Chibi-Usa - as her father had appointed her - stopped kicking my stomach when I began eating. But it wasn't too long that I figured she didn't care for the food. I looked at the plate of blueberry pancakes - usually my favorite - and felt like I was going to get sick. A part of me still wanted them, the other part wanted something a little more difficult to come by.

"What's wrong?" Mamo-chan asked, looking at the plate of pancakes that I had only picked out. "I thought they were your favorite?"

"Eh, nothing," I mumbled. But apparently my little angel was persistent this morning. I had had bad craving before, but this was insane! And I knew there wasn't a place in town that sold what I wanted this early in the morning. Mentally I scolded my baby, trying to get her to calm her cravings. It didn't work. Mamo-chan took the plate, looking at me with curiosity.

"Usako, if you are craving something just tell me and I'll make it, or go get it or something..." I couldn't help but smile at the way he stumbled over his words. Never did I think a man was so devoted to a pregnant woman's every whim the way Mamo-chan was. Sometimes I felt so lucky I couldn't stop grinning.

I knew that no matter how much I fought him, he would eventually make me tell him what it was I wanted. I shook my head, giving up before he even had to coax it out of me. "Well, I really would like a double cheese burger with mustard and pickles only. And some onion rings would be nice..." I blurted out as fast as I could, twisting a piece of my hair between my fingers and trying to smile my best smile at him.

"Double cheese burger..." he repeated softly, realization dawning on him. Oh yeah, before nine o'clock in the morning that would be rather hard to find. I caught just a hint of weariness in his eyes before he hid them and grabbed the keys off the counter. It might have had something to do with the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream I wanted at midnight, but no one can be too sure. "Anything else, my love?" he beamed at me.

"Extra pickles. Not four instead of three, either. I mean, lots of pickles," I emphasized, mentally licking my lips. "Oh, and some apple juice."

Mamo-chan blanched slightly, still holding the car keys in mid-air. I saw him mouth 'apple juice' before smiling and heading towards the door. He slipped his shoes on, called back that he would return shortly, and left.

Still envisioning double cheeseburgers and onion rings in my head, I patted my stomach and walked into the living room. "You better be glad that your papa likes to venture out for stuff so much," I said lightly to my daughter, giggling to myself. Hopefully he would be so willing to get up during the night and feed Chibi-Usa when she was born.

I sat down on the sofa behind Shingo, watching the speeding car go through the city on the screen. Suddenly it stopped, and Shingo turned around to me, a confused expression on his young face. I watched as he stood up unsurely and came over and sat on the couch beside me. I knew that something serious was bothering him just from the way he studied me instead of talking. I said nothing, wanting to let him decide how to say what he wanted. "Mama," he finally began, twisting his hands in front of him. "Can we have a discussion?" he asked, his pronunciation of 'discussion' sounding a bit off.

I masked my worry and smiled light heartedly at him. "Sure we can, sweetie. What do you want to talk about?" He looked so confused about something, and also anxious to find out the answers to questions that must have been burning in his small mind for quite some time. I sat back against the sofa, waiting with temptation for what he would say. But I can guarantee you it wasn't what I was expecting. "Why do you and Mamoru talk to your stomach? Can it hear you?"

Honestly, it took a lot out of me to not burst out laughing. Instead I narrowed it down to a giggle that I tried to disguise as a cough. "Um, well," I began, searching for the words to make a six year old understand. "Do you remember when I told you that I was going to have a baby? And that the baby was in my tummy?" He nodded his head eagerly, gazing at me with huge blue eyes. "Well, now that she is old enough she can hear what we say. So that is why we talk to her."

He looked at me for a long moment as if trying to see if I was lying or not. Satisfied that I wasn't, he moved slightly closer on the couch. "So she can hear what we are saying now?" he questioned, his eye brow still furrowed incredulity. "Really?"

"You can also feel her; wanna try?" Eagerly he nodded his head and I reached out to take his hand in mine. He let me guide his hand unsurely towards my stomach where I placed it in the spot Chibi-Usa liked to kick most often. The silence stretched on for a good three minutes, Shingo saying nothing and me mentally urging Chibi-Usa (for once) to kick. I saw Shingo begin to look doubtfully at me, and I exhaled deeply. "Young lady, you kick me almost twenty-four hours a day. Don't tell me you decided to go to sleep now!" I accused her, Shingo looking at me like I was rambling like a mad person.

My words must have woken her up, or maybe for once she decided to listen. At any rate, I felt her kick just slightly to the left of where Shingo's hand was placed. I moved his palm quickly to the spot and saw his eyes grow. He snatched his hand back, looking from his hand, to my stomach and to me. "That was her?" he finally asked, looking at me with newfound appreciation.

I nodded my head, smiling at him. With weighted movements, he leaned his head towards my stomach and earnestly said: "Hi baby. I'm Shingo and I'm gonna be a good big brother for you."

I couldn't hold back the tears that filled my eyes if I wanted to. It was so sweet - so precious seeing how seriously he was talking. He straightened up, still looking distraught about something. "Is Mamoru her Papa?" he finally asked. I nodded my head, holding my breath as I waited for his reaction to this. He looked to be in deep thought for a moment before looking back at me. He stood up, going back to the game and I let my breath out. I had no more begun to let my mind wonder over any other questions he might have when he paused the game again. "Can Mamoru be my Papa, too?" he asked, looking at me over his shoulder. His eyes were so sad, so hungry for need and the sense of belonging.

"If that is what you want, Shingo," I responded as seriously, albeit kindly, as I could. It was so important for Mamoru to have a family, and Shingo's acceptance of him had meant a great deal. I'm sure this would mean even more. Shingo's face lit up with a smile and he turned the game back on, the sounds of the racing cars soon filling the living room.

I sat for a few more minutes watching Shingo play the game when I heard a thumbing noise, followed by a muffled voice. I rose to go to the door when it was pushed open, Mamo-chan coming through, kicking the door shut with his foot and going into the kitchen. With a smile on my face, I followed him. As I walked in, I could see he looked slightly tired-his face had the lightest hint of unshaven facial hair and his eyes were bloodshot. I watched as he put a half gallon of ice cream in the freezer, two half gallon pitchers of apple juice away before I cleared my throat.

He looked up, smiling tiredly as he did so. I felt a pang of guilt nag at my heart. It was hard for me to find a comfortable way to sleep anymore, but it hadn't occurred to me that because I shared a bed with Mamo-chan that I was disturbing him. He hadn't said anything about it. Duh, Usagi, I told myself. He wouldn't say a word to you. Shaking my head lightly I moved the second bag out from in font of him and started going through it. "I couldn't find any place that had a double cheeseburger," he mumbled. "And Motoki wasn't at work. So I went to the grocery store and bought some hamburger meat. We needed some anyways.." his voice faded out as I walked around the table and towards him.

His eyes stayed on me as I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his face down to mine. I felt his arms automatically come around my waist and I leaned up to kiss him lightly. "Thank you, Mamo-chan. But you didn't have to go through all of that for me." Before he could protest and tell me about how he would do anything for me, I shut him up by pressing my lips to his again - demanding that he return it.

When we parted, he pressed his forehead to mine. "You know I'd do..."

"Anything for me," I finished for him, giggling slightly. "Hai, I know."

Mamo-chan shook his head, his lips curving up so adorably it should be a crime. "Nu uh; I would do anything for all three of you." He kissed my nose again before leaving me to fish in the cabinet for a frying pan.

I sat down at the table, opening the jar of pickles and digging in. As I watched Mamo-chan make my cheeseburger, my thoughts keep returning to the ice cream in the freezer. Pickles forgotten, I opened the ice cream and began eating. Mamo-chan looked at me out of the corner of his eye without saying a word he continued cooking, his face a pale shade of green. I tried, really, but I couldn't keep the smile from my face.

"So what time is the girl's picking you up today?" Blankly I looked at him over the tub of ice cream in my hands. He turned to look at me, the spatula still in his hand. "Don't tell me you forgot you were going shopping with everyone today?"

The look on my face must have said just that, because he busted out laughing. I looked down at the ice cream, at Mamo-chan and got up. "I think I'll be getting dressed now." As I left the kitchen, the sound of Mamo-chan's laughing followed me.

The phone rang as I shifted through my dresser drawers. I had all of four maternity outfits (two I didn't care for), which meant I should probably put that on my list of things to buy today. Absentmindedly I reached for the phone, turning it on. "Moshi Moshi."

"Are you ready to go yet?" Minako asked, from the background sounds I could tell she was in a car. I laid my four outfits on the bed and looked back and forth between them as Minako said something to Rei, not even listening to any response I might have. Suddenly she laughed. "Usagi-chan, Rei-chan says she bets you aren't even dressed yet! Anyways, we will be there as soon as we pick Ami up."

Luna placed her paw on the sweatpants and short sleeve blue shirt, giving me a look that said that was her opinion on the subject. "No, I don't think so," I mumbled to my guardian cat, but Minako heard me.

"What?" Minako asked, her voice clearly confused.

Shooing Luna away, I turned back to my dresser for a pair of socks. "I didn't mean you, Minako-chan. I was talking to Luna. I'll be ready by the time you get here."

"Okay, see you in five! Ja!" Before I could get a word in edgewise, the bubbly sound of Minako's voice faded and the line went dead. Shrugging I turned the phone off and set it down.

"They are on their way, then?" Luna asked, stretching across the bed lazily.

"Hai," I answered, picking up the overalls and shirt. "You know, Luna," I pointed out before closing the bathroom door. "You are getting lazy; staying in bed until ten o'clock. The shame," I teased, shutting the door before she could realize what I said and retort back. The sound of her mumbling to herself died when I flipped the radio on and began dressing.

After applying a little makeup and fixing my hair, I went into the living room where all of the inner Senshi were waiting. They followed me into the kitchen and either sat or stood around the table as I ate my cheeseburger. I felt guilty, but by the time I had ate half of the burger, I was full. When I put the plate on the sink, Mamo-chan turned to me with a knowing smile on his face. "I'm supposing the pickles and ice cream ruined your appetite?"

"Pickles and ice cream?!" Rei exclaimed before I could even think of answering Mamo-chan. A look of shock and disgust crossed her features. "That's just gross."

I shrugged, standing up and getting my jacket. "Whatever floats your boat. I wanted it, and since I'm pregnant and have an excuse - it's what I ate."

"That don't make it any less gross," Rei quipped, shaking her head at me. She looked to Ami who had said nothing up to this point. "Is that healthy?"

The petite girl shook her head, smiling at all of us like we were loonies on the loose. "For a pregnant woman craving can make you want just about any food and any given time, and it doesn't matter their order." She continued on like she was teaching a class. "I've heard of women eating the bark of a tree, the foam from beer; any number of odd things as well as foods."

Every eye turned to me, Makoto looking the most thoughtful. "You start knawing on a tree and you'll walk home," she predicted, trying not to let a smile crack through the seriousness on her face. The rest of us busted out laughing until she joined us.

"OOOOOH!" I'm sure that my squeal made everyone in the shop turn my direction. You can imagine how much I cared. Minako came running over first followed by everyone else.

At the blank stares and giggling, I pulled up my prize possession. "Look!" I exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. All afternoon we had been oohing and ahhing over this and that, but I hadn't bought much in the way of baby items. This I wasn't going to think twice about.

"Oh my gosh!" Minako exclaimed, grabbing the bib out of my hands and looking it over as if she thought she were imagining it. "This is sooo cute!"

It was a full size bib, not one of the small ones and the colors were simple: black and white. So why was I - as well as everyone else - having a fit? Well, it could have something to do with the little anime style Tuxedo Kamen drawn on it, and the words 'Drool Worthy' written above.

"You just have to buy this," Makoto told me, handing the bib back to me. "That is just too cute, and I'm sure Mamoru-san will get a kick out of it." I nodded, giggling to myself as the prospect of his face when I showed it to him.

I paid for the two outfits I had found, the Tuxedo Kamen bib and the tiny pink socks. The five of us left the store, heading towards the car when the first drop of rain fell. I looked up, wondering if I had just imagined it. Another drop followed, this time Ami remarking that she had felt it also. By the time we were all packed into Makoto's car again, the rain began heavily. Glancing at my watch, I looked up at the sky. "Well, I guess we should just call it a day. Besides, I still have a little over a month to shop for other things."

For reasons I had yet to discover, my best friends look hesitant at taking me home. It could have been my imagination, of course. I've been known to have a few wild ideas in my time. But Makoto only confirmed the suspicion when she pulled up to the video store. "I'm going to go in and grab a movie and some popcorn, and we can camp out at my place." Now, wouldn't you have the feeling that you were being kept away from home?

"We can take it to my place..." I suggested softly.

"No! I mean," Rei blanched, scratching the back of her neck nervously. "Eh, well. You bought all of this stuff.."

I raised my left eyebrow, watching her run through her thoughts; trying to come up with a believable excuse. At this point I don't think I'd believe a word she said. She must have realized it, too, because she sat back in the seat, her lips sewn shut.

Next Ami took a stab at it. "Usagi-chan, it's not healthy for you to be stuck in the house all day." Her voice sounded sincere, honest even. Except for one little fact: "Ami-chan, I work four days a week; have a school tutor I go to five days a week and still manage to fit in time for us to go out every Sunday. Not counting taking Shingo places. I hardly think I'm stuck in the house."

I could see her method of madness deflate before my very eyes. She sat back also, her and Rei soaking in their defeat. Minako sat forward from her position in between Rei and Ami and started to say something when Rei reached up, holding her hand over the Senshi of Love's mouth and shaking her head vigorously. Whatever their reasons, that was probably a smart move. Makoto got back in the car, looking back at the fallen Senshi in the back of the car, then at me. "We'll just go to your place then, if that is what you want."

I glanced in the backseat at the stunned faces of Rei, Ami and Minako. Makoto, try as she might, was looking cornered. From the things Shingo had said this morning, and then everyone's strange behavior; there was only one thing to say. "That is exactly what I want."

I walked into the apartment lobby. Well, more or less. It seemed to me that I didn't walk as much as I wobbled. I'm sure I looked like a penguin as I balanced myself and the bag in my hand and pushed the elevator button. I pushed my bangs off my forehead, inhaling deeply. Minako stood beside me, a look of deep thought on her face. "Doushite no, Usagi-chan?"

I smiled, walking into the elevator with my friends and pushed the button that would take us to the twelfth floor. "I just feel like I've been pregnant forever," I admitted. "And yet, I'm scared. Ami's mom said that I will start having contractions any time now up until I have her. I can't wait to hold Chibi-Usa, to finally lay my eyes on my daughter. But then I'm scared of giving birth, scared of a hundred different things. But," I said, throwing a smile at my worried looking friends to reassure them, as well as myself. "I know it will all be okay."

The elevator stopped, the double doors sliding open to reveal the long hallway beyond. I hobbled out, wishing my back wouldn't hurt. Maybe I should have stayed in gymnastics when I was young, and doing these near backbends to stay up straight wouldn't be so hard now.

Rei came up beside me, taking the bag from my hand. "Sure it'll be okay. We're all here, we'll help. And you have Mamoru-san at your beck and call. Why is it, all the good ones are taken?" she asked, changing the subject so fast that I didn't have time to think about the fact that she was trying to cheer me up.

I hardly listened to them discuss back and forth about how all good men were married or taken in some way and the only ones left weren't worth their time. The conversation kept up as we entered my apartment and shed our shoes and jackets at the door. The living room was quiet and after peeping in, no one was in the kitchen either. I threw a puzzled look at my friends, all of whom looked entirely too innocent.

Mamo-chan, Shingo and Luna weren't in my bedroom or in Shingo's. The only other place I hadn't looked was small third bedroom that Mamo-chan used as a sort of study/junk room. My five friends followed me, each with mile wide grins. Determinedly I put my hand on the door knob, thinking I would surprise them all by swinging the door open instead of calling for Mamo-chan first. But instead the surprise was on me.

My eyes wandered from one area of the room to the next in bewilderment. It was only three days before I had been in here and nothing was amiss. Mamo-chan's overly crowded desk had sat in the middle of rows of storage boxes, books, unused furniture and the like. But what I saw before me brought tears to my eyes, and made my heart jump to my throat.

Mamo-chan stopped midway down the ladder he stood on, putting up the finishing touches on the border, to see my reaction. In front of the large double windows that nearly covered one entire wall was a beautiful white crib; complete with crib liner, sheets and stuffed animals. A white rocker to match was beside the crib, one of the quilts my grandmother made draped over the back. The carpet that had once been a dull grey, had been replaced with a soft beige that - along with the new pale pink wallpaper - made the room appear bright and cheerful.

And bunnies! Different sizes and colors were everywhere from the border on the walls to the stuffed animals in the crib. A squeal of delight rose in my throat as I walked slowly around the room, barely brushing my finger tips over the diaper changing table that matched the rocker and crib to the shelves that aligned the wall and then to the matching dresser. "How...? When..?" I managed, so happy I wanted to sit in the rocker and cry.

Shingo stood at the bottom of the ladder Mamo-chan was on, grinning from ear to ear. In his excitement he tripped as he ran over to hug my leg. "Surprise Mama!" he gushed, big blue eyes staring up at me in joy. "Do you like it? We all worked very hard!"

Like it? No, I loved it! And even though I still couldn't find my voice to say this, everyone seemed to know from my expression how delighted I was. Makoto leaned against the wall, her eyes dancing merrily as I sat down in the rocker. "And to think I had to rent a video just so I could call Mamoru-san and warn him we were headed back."

Rei, Ami and Minako gave her a look of reprimand, for it was obvious they had no idea she had gotten a hold of Mamo-chan while they were in the car trying to convince me to go somewhere besides home. My love stepped off the ladder and swept Shingo up into his arms so that he giggled. "Motoki and I took everything that was in here to a storage building and put down new carpet while you were at work," Mamo-chan explained to answer my earlier question. "Then while Motoki and I went and got the furniture and put it together, the girls went and bought everything else we needed. I still have a couple of things to do, like finish putting up the border. But I knew you'd see it today because someone," here he tickled Shingo, causing his beautiful laughter to carry through the room like music. "Came in here and saw everything. And I know a secret just kills a six year old."

I felt the tears I had been fighting overflow my eyes, leaving salty trails down my face. But they were warm tears of joy that I didn't mind showing to everyone in the room. I truly felt a sense of belonging deep in my soul, a sense of love and friendship floated in the air all around me. But as always, when I became too comfortable with the way my life was now - something would nag at me. So softly that if I weren't always paying it close attention, I wouldn't hear it at all. "Remember..." the voice echoed through my thoughts, playing havoc with the peace that I reached for daily. The calmness that I yearned for with my entire soul, but was always just beyond my grasping finger tips. "See the blood... taste the bitterness of death..."

"Usako?"

I blinked, pushing back the voice that seemed to get louder the longer I listened to it. Mamo-chan hovered over me, a worried glint in his eyes. I tried to smile, but I'm sure the movement my lips made didn't reach my eyes. "I've been calling your name repeatedly, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," I lied, forcing myself to think happy thoughts so that my eyes would twinkle with my laughter. "I'm just so happy about all of this! I can't believe you all did this without me even suspecting." I looked past Mamo-chan, realizing for the first time that we were alone in the room.

The blank expression of confusion on my face must have shone just as clearly as looking through a window pane. Mamo-chan said nothing, although it seemed on the tip of his tongue to continue asking questions about my prolonged silence. He took my hand, helping me to my feet before placing his lips softly on my forehead.

"Hurry Mama, Papa!" Shingo gasped, coming to a screeching halt in the bedroom door way and grasping the door frame for balance. "Everyone is waiting to start the movie!"

We watched my younger brother take off down the hallway again, and Mamo-chan stared after him with a look of utter disbelief on his face. "Did he just call me...?"

"Papa," I laughed, this time feeling real joy travel through my veins. "He asked me this morning if you could be his Papa too. I didn't think you would mind." When Mamo-chan didn't answer, I looked up at him to see his sensuous lips curve into a smile. I reached up and kissed his jaw, loving the way his arm automatically encircled my waist. Determinedly I shoved away my thoughts of death and damnation.

I would regret ignoring these warnings.

That night sleep stayed beyond my grasping finger tips. I moved, pushing the covers off and then pulling them back up. I tossed, turned, sweated and chilled. No matter which way I moved, nothing made me comfortable. Chibi-Usa kicked wildly, sometimes so painful that I gasped. Several times I resisted the urge to get up so that Mamo-chan could claim the sleep that eluded me. The small digits on the clock beside our bed read 11:59 p.m. when I finally could take it no more and got up. My mother always gave me a warm glass of milk to help me sleep, and with these thoughts in my head I quietly stole out of the bedroom. But instead of going to the kitchen, I walked thoughtlessly towards Shingo's bedroom. My mind was strangly blank as I found myself at his door. Scarier still, that I don't remember anything at all, as if thinking weren't involved. Something pulled me towards his room, something I couldn't feel, but knew all the same. Something evil.

I turned the knob, trying to push open the door. It wouldn't budge. I heard nothing but the sound of my frantically beating heart. Oh Lord, what was wrong? "Shingo?" I called, putting all my strength into my efforts to open the door. "Shingo?!" In the back of my thoughts I heard the grandfather clock in the living room as it tolled the hour of midnight; the witching hour.

I pushed harder, digging my heels into the floor of the hallway. A cold mist rose up from the crack under the door, sending goose bumps up and down my legs. The door handle turned colder, freezing my hands as I continued to push on the door. "SHINGO?!" Ice formed in the groves of the wood, my panting breath visible. I was freezing. My lungs contracting sent pain through my entire body. Still I pushed on, wondering where Mamo-chan was. Scared of what was happening.

"SHINGO! ANSWER ME!" I screamed. Still silence. I began to sob, fearing the tears would freeze before dropping off my chin - that's how cold I felt.

Without warning the door threw open, causing me to fall sharply on my stomach. Pain shot through my body, but the fear I felt seemed worse than the physical pain. I gritted my teeth, turning over on my back and looking around the room. Under any other circumstances the ice hanging poetically off every surface would have been beautiful. In this case, it terrified me. Shingo was nowhere in sight. Pain continued through out my body, and a warm liquid spilled down my legs, making my pajama pants cling desperately to me like a second skin. Shaking from the cold and terror, I felt of my leg.

Warm... sticky warm.

Blood.

The baby.

"MAMO-CHAN!"

-End Chapter 11.

BUWHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, so now that I feel better... *coughs up lung or two*

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Duh.

I'm working on the next chapter at work tonight, so hopefully I get it done by tomorrow morning when I come home and go to sleep. If not, it maybe be a day (I know, the horror! LOL) because we are heading to the pool tomorrow to get a big ole dose of vitamin D.

Thank you guys for reading, following, reviewing - I love to hear from you!

God Bless!
Beth