Lena charged a credit card for a flight. She now rode in a cab on the way home overwhelmed with thoughts. She knew her relationship would soon be over. How was she going to tell Stef? Her wife. How would she react? She imagined the worst. But she also imagined the best-that everything would simply be okay. But how could it? She had continued this... Relationship... This thing.. with Monte for a few weeks. She should have told Stef about the kiss when she wanted to. Now more than a kiss had happened. More than a few kisses had been placed. How could Stef forgive her? They had been so distant for more than weeks, for a few months now. But she couldn't blame her actions on the distance between the two of them.

It felt good to be home. Lena set her keys in a bowl by the front door. She walked up stairs and left her suit case packed at the end of their bed. She went back down stairs to get something to drink and smiled as she opened the fridge. No take out. Stef had cooked two nights in a row. She grabbed bottled water and slowly walked through the empty house. Tears ran down her cheek as she walked back up the stairs. She looked into all three of the bedrooms then walked into her own. She sat on the bed holding Stef's pillow in her arms then she buried her face into it.

"Hey guys." Stef announced as she walked in the house with her arms full of groceries. She counted the five replies as she put the groceries away.

"What's for dinner?" Jude asked as he walked into the kitchen. "I'm not sure love; I got home a little later than expected."

"Can we order take out?" Jude asked. "Absolutely, go ask the others what they want." She said with a sigh of relief. She had fully intended on cooking again tonight, but it had been such a long shift.

After a while Brandon and Jude walked into the kitchen. "Did you guys decide on something?" She asked looking up from the stack of mail in front of her, reading glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

"Yes." Brandon said as he dialed out from the house phone.

"Well, aren't you going to ask me what I want B?" Stef said putting down the mail. "Mom you like everything!" "Yeah, but what if I was craving something?" She said as she took her glasses off, looking at Brandon playfully. "You crave everything! Yes-I would like to place an order Togo."

With a smile Stef sighed as she stood up from the kitchen table. She walked to the front door to empty out her pockets into the bowl. She noticed Lena's keys immediately. She looked from the keys to the upstairs and her heart dropped. Something is wrong.

Lena heard the door slowly creek open and closed. She was lying on the bed with her back to the door. She felt the bed dip from the weight of her wife. "Lena." Stef said putting her hand on Lena's hip. Lena took a deep breath and rolled over to face her. Her eyes were red from crying. "My love." Stef said leaning forward to embrace her partner. She could feel Lena's body shake as she sobbed. "I did something very stupid." Lena whispered.

Stef felt her stomach drop as she pulled away from the embrace. She ran her hand through her own hair. Her mouth went dry. She took a deep breath. "What happened?" She whispered.

Lena looked into Stef's eyes searching for words to help her explain. She took a deep breath. "A few weeks ago Monte kissed me." She saw Stef relax a little. "I wish that was all Stef. I should have told you then. I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how." She said searching Stef's eyes. "Then the next day she came into my office to apologize and she kissed me again. I pulled away but she pulled me back Stef." Tears slowly ran down Lena's cheeks. "She told me to let go and I did. I let go of everything, I let go of losing Frankie, of all my stress- I just let it go. In that moment I became someone else." She paused still searching those blue eyes.

"Someone else?" Stef whispered.

"I felt like I was looking down at myself screaming to stop. I felt like I was watching a movie Stef and it wasn't me." Lena said as she tried to not lose control, she steadied her breathing and wiped her face.

"But it was you Lena." Stef said. "Did you sleep with her?" She whispered angrily.

"I told her that I couldn't do whatever it was that was happening, I told her 'I'm married' but her reply was that she's 'straight' and that we both could be 'someone else'. That day I left school early and drove around. I started think about everything that had been happening in my life over the past few months. I just felt so hurt and so angry. I went back to the school and she was there. I kissed her Stef. It made me feel like I wasn't Lena anymore."

"Did you sleep with her?" Stef asked bitterly.

"Yes and no." Lena whispered.

"Yes and no? Yes and no? How do you kind of fuck someone Lena?" She said through clinched teeth.

"I slept with her but she didn't touch me Stef."

"So you fucked her?"

"Yes." She whispered. Lena could feel Stef's anger pulsating through out the room.

Stef stood up and ran both hands through her hair. She quickly turned around "Did you go down on her?"

"No."

"This happened at the school? Before your trip?"

"Yes."

"And you still went on this trip. What happened over the past few days?"

"Absolutely nothing until this morning." Lena whispered looking up at Stef. "We had a few drinks last night and she fell asleep in my bed-" "Why was she in your room?" "It was a double room Stef- I tried to get two rooms but he said the double was already purchased and that I would have to buy a single room for myself." Lena took another deep breath. "I woke up this morning and she was laying on me, I was scared that something happened but we were both fully clothed-she kissed me again-we kissed and she got on top of me but I pushed her off Stef. I pushed her off of me and said 'I can't do this'. I grabbed most of my things and left."

Stef was still standing. She felt like her world had just been ripped open. She couldn't breathe. She unbuttoned the first few buttons of her uniform. It felt like her shirt was strangling her. She pulled at the collar of her tee shirt underneath to get it away from her neck. It didn't help. She took a few deep breaths. "I think I might be sick." She whispered as tears started to run down her cheeks. "How could you do this Lena? Was it really that easy? Just to let go and be someone else?"

Lena didn't know how to reply.

"Must have been real nice letting go." Stef spat bitterly.

The door bell rang.