They came again, and this time the sky was a little bit brighter—afternoon. Slowly but surely, the air in the West forest was warming up with the signs of spring; there were small buds poking through the black ends of the healthier trees, and small shoots of grass sprung up through the dark earth. The nights would still be chilly, but less so than in winter.
The silver-and-blue fish had come early this year, and they rested in the shallow waters of small brooks and streams. Their yellow tails flicked back and forth with the currents, kicking up small amounts of much and decomposed leaves.
Kiki stepped over a fallen log, Marik beside her. The two had been chatting amiably for the duration of the trip to the streams.
"What's it like, living here?" he asked. "Do you ever run out of what you need?"
"Sometimes," she answered. "But most of the time, I'm okay." Kiki seemed to be fine with Marik's rapid-fire questions. They continued to chatter as they walked ahead of the group, the rest trailing behind.
Edger wrinkled his nose as he stepped over a log, his eyes boring into Kiki's shoulders. He remembered the conversation he'd had with Jax once they'd gotten back to the barracks, and Jax's reasoning that was—in his mind—completely off.
Jax shot him a silent warning, pushing a branch out of the way. The greenness of the forest was starting to get heavier. Only small patches of bright sunlight filtered through the trees. "Get over it, Edger."
Edger met it with his own look. "She's Cursed, Jax. She should be in prison—"
"She hasn't done anything," he hissed. Up ahead, Kiki gave no indication that she heard what they were saying. She moved with a surety that could only come to those who'd spent much of their lives in a forest like this.
His face grew darker, eyes set forward in a stubborn glare. "You don't know that," Edger shot back. "All the Cursed are the same—they steal, lie, cheat, and hurt others when they can't get what they want—"
"She couldn't even look at you when you first met!" Jax stepped into Edger's path, blocking him with his body. "I've spoken to her, and she rarely goes into the city; too many people there, Edger. You can't just assume one person is like everyone else because other people like them get a bad rap."
Edger didn't try to step around Jax. "You've seen the Cursed we bring in, Jax. They're drug addicts and they attack everything in sight. They're violent."
"They're scared." Edger was Jax's best friend, but sometimes his closed-mindedness wore Jax down. "They shouldn't be treated the way they are."
Edger didn't try to fight back, instead pushed past Jax to continue on with the rest of the group; they'd fallen behind. After a moment, Jax followed silently, his boots crunching on sticks and leaves.
The group eventually came upon a stream a few meters wide, where sunlight speckled the gently rippling surface and silver fish darted along the bottom. The water was clear, revealing the sticks and rocks along the bed.
None of the clones had ever been fishing before—it showed when they all suddenly stopped at the water's edge and looked around with varying degrees of confusion and wonder on their faces.
"I sometimes go swimming here in the summer," Kiki blurted into the silence. She quickly averted her gaze to her feet, letting her hair fall over her face.
Marik's eyes lit up at the thought of swimming in streams. "You do? What's it like?" He set down the fishing rod on the ground.
"Well…" Her eyes skimmed over the surface of the stream. "It's colder than you would think, but you eventually get used to it." Kiki didn't quite look at him, but a smile was beginning to form on her lips.
"I've always wondered what it was like to go swimming like that." He picked up the rod again, fiddling with the reel. "Do you have a swimsuit, or—" He cut himself off at Kiki's squeak, his ears beginning to burn.
"U-Uh…" Kiki's face was equally as red. "I don't really have—"
"No, no f-forget I asked!" Marik rushed out, avoiding eye contact. A heavy, awkward silence fell between them.
From somewhere farther down the stream, Cord sighed. He made his way back towards the group, taking Marik's rod and handing it to Kiki. "How do you fish?"
Kiki looked to the rod, then to the stream. Taking the fishing pole, she took a few steps toward the water. "It's best if you aim toward the center, because that's where the bigger ones are," she said. "Where's the bait?"
Edger looked from the bait box in his hand to Kiki and back. His face started to sour all over again. With a huff, Jax snatched the box from him and went to hand it to Kiki.
His sudden presence beside her made her jump. "Oh, Jax, I didn't see you."
"I didn't mean to startle you, Kiki," he apologized.
Her smile was soft. "It's alright, Jax. Did you need something?"
Jax froze for just a second, a feeling he was nowhere near used to. "U-Uh…" he stammered, his hand tightening around the handle. "Here's the bait, if you need it."
"Oh, thank you," Kiki said, accepting the small box. Jax only nodded mutely and followed her to the wide stream.
The water reflected the bright sunlight, making the surface look as if it were made of crystal. Small fish swam just below the surface while beetles skimmed over small ripples. The budding trees rustled in the wind and sent a warm breeze through the forest.
Kiki held the rod in her hand, trying to get the bait onto the hook. The breeze blew some of her hair in her face. "If this doesn't work," she said, "we'll just use beetle larvae—they're under the leaves of the purple bushes."
"There is a set of instructions that came with the bait box," Cord said from somewhere down the stream. He had his own rod already cast, its bobber floating lazily in the water. "Maybe it will tell you which hook is best to use for this depth."
Jax thought he must have been imagining the sudden look of nervousness that quickly crossed Kiki's face, but it was there. She fumbled with the plastoid card that had various hooks and their uses with it.
"U-Um…" she stammered. "It looks like…we should just use the hook we already have tied on—the, uh, m-medium depth…yeah. That's the one we'll use." Her face was turning red, the card gripped tightly in her hands.
"Which one is it?" Ratchet asked.
Kiki's lips pursed, her narrowed eyes scanning the card. "The…this one. Yeah, this one. We already have it on the rods," she rushed out.
Cord gave Kiki a look before turning back to the stream.
Jax didn't like the looks everyone was giving Kiki. Edger's mouth twisted, his brows drawing down into a scowl. "Does the card say how far out to cast it, or do you need help with that as well?" He said deridingly, yanking the rod out of her hand.
Kiki shot him a cold glare. "Shut up." She snatched it back with more force than any of them thought she could use and stalked away to a spot farther down the stream.
Jax only watched in surprise. It seemed the ever-terrified, shaking Kiki was replaced with one who would be sworn enemies with Edger. The rest also had looks of wonder on their faces as they silently watched Kiki cast into the stream
Jax stormed over to Edger. "The hell was that for?!" he hissed, pulling him roughly away from the water's edge.
"I was only asking a simple question, Jax," Edger said, jerking his arm away. "She's just like all the other Cursed—"
"Edger." Jax gave him a warning look.
Edger huffed. "She's an idiot," he spat. "Just like the rest of her kind. How much do you think she's stolen in her life? She might have lied to you about it."
Jax only glared, unwilling to put up with Edger's narrow-mindedness.
Kiki re-cast the rod, watching baited hook make a light plunk as it hit the water. Smaller fish scattered underneath it. The brightly-colored bobber floated gently in place, so she focused on that instead of the burning shame that made her feel sick inside. She didn't think Jax would want to see her again after what had just happened, and to be honest, she wouldn't be surprised if it were true.
Already, five people that could have been her friends were lost.
"How…big are the fish, normally?" Marik asked, coming to stand next to her.
"I don't know, about…from my hand to here," Kiki said, pointing to the middle of her forearm. "They're salty on their own, so all we need to do is cook them."
"Do you know how to grill?"
"Sort of, yes."
"Good!" Marik clapped his hands together, a bright smile on his face. "'Cause we brought some vegetables and lighter fluid—"
"Marik forgot the plates!" Edger yelled.
"—and we were hoping this could turn into some kind of…family picnic?" It was a bit strong a term, "family picnic", but Marik couldn't think of anything else. The other clones were his family, and if Kiki wanted to join in she was more than welcome to.
Kiki blinked, as if she hadn't quite heard what he'd said. Family? As in with siblings and mothers and fathers? Were they that close already? Nonetheless, Kiki smiled brightly. "Sure! I can make the fire bigger if we have to—and I also go new plates," she said, nodding enthusiastically.
"I-I think I got one!" Ratchet yelled, his rod bending with the pull of the fish. With a loud splash, a twisting and turning fish hung in the air at the end of Ratchet's line, its gills twitching frantically. The smile on his face was wide and proud.
The rest of the soldiers gathered round to congratulate him as Kiki examined the fish. "Sorry, Ratchet; this one's too small." She pinched its gills down, removing the hook from its cheek. The fish had slowed in its struggling. "See? It still has this line on its fins. It's a baby."
Ratchet looked truly saddened. "Do we throw it back?" he asked.
Kiki nodded. "It'll still live, don't worry." She tossed the fish back into the water. "You can just cast again. Try to aim for deeper spots, because that's where the bigger fish are."
Ratchet nodded, casting the hook and bobber out into the water again. It hit the surface with a light plunk, rings of small waves radiating out from it.
OoOoOoO
"I'd say that went better than I thought." Marik practically skipped along, the rod rested on his shoulder and a bucket of fish in hand. "I didn't think I'd enjoy myself so much!"
Only Marik would have been able to fine excitement in throwing back twelve fish that were too small.
"What do you think these'll taste like?" He'd never had fish before, so his curiosity was getting the best of him and it was showing in the way he blabbed. "I always imagined fish would taste something like nuna."
"Not everything can taste like nuna, Marik," Edger sighed, pulling up behind him. He carried a second bucket with small shellfish. They tried and failed to escape the confines of the bucket.
"Did you know Kiki had used a stick and wire she'd found to go fishing before we brought her this stuff? Imagine that: having to find a stick that was long and strong enough and then having to rip it out of the water all the time." Marik frowned. "She said she couldn't catch that many fish that way."
Jax was amazed at how quickly Kiki had warmed up to Marik. They were becoming fast friends, and it was great that she wasn't so afraid of them anymore, but he didn't quite like the feeling he got whenever he saw the two of them together—it was not jealousy, he was quite sure of that. He kind of wished she were with them now instead of back at her site starting a fire for their barbeque. The twigs and leaves snapped under his feet, the only sounds in the forest for a moment while the entire group fell silent.
It was quickly interrupted by a short scream, followed by a loud cry for help. Then there was shouting coming from ahead of them, in the direction of Kiki's campsite.
"Kiki?" Marik took off without so much as a warning. Crashing through trees and bushes, the screams and sounds of struggling got louder and more frantic as the group came upon Kiki's campsite. Marik dropped the bucket and rod, drawing his blaster and taking aim at one of the figures in the center of the clearing.
"Go away! Get off of me!" Kiki shrieked, kicking her hardest at the Weequay male that pinned her to the dirt ground.
"Don't fight; I mean no harm," he said in response, a vicious smile curling on his thin lips. "You just looked so lonely here…"
"Help!" Kiki screamed, continuing to struggle under his weight. "Get away from me!"
Jax was the first to break through the line of trees surrounding the clearing, his blaster drawn and aimed at the Weequay's back. Even from where he was, Jax could see what the Weequay's hands were doing, and it made his gut curl in disgust. "Get away from her!"
The Weequay rolled over, jumping to his feet and holding his gnarled hands in the air. The moonlight highlighted every uneven patch on him, the rough, scaly grey-brown skin of his face forming odd shadows over his features. "I didn't mean any harm," he said. "She said she was lonely and was afraid of some soldiers in the forest coming to get her." He shot a look to the other clones coming into the clearing. "Now I see what she means."
"Step away from her," Marik said, blaster also drawn. He slowly inched forward, the muzzle of his weapon aimed at the man's chest.
Kiki was frozen to the ground, shaking and too scared to look at any of them. Her chest rose and fell in frantic puffs. Slowly, she propped herself up until she was crouched on her toes, panic-stricken eyes looking between the Weequay and the soldiers gathered at one side of the clearing.
Deathly silence pervaded the area, and no forest-dwelling creature made a noise.
The Weequay's face morphed into one of pure rage and disgust. "You Cursed bitch!" he spat.
None of them even had a second to react; a short, wicked-sharp knife appeared in the man's rough hands, its serrated edge glinting in the moonlight aimed directly at Kiki.
A terrible sense of dread curled and tightened in Jax's stomach, but he wasn't fast enough to move to protect her. "No—!"
Everything was in slow-motion, each horrible scene playing out in vivid detail that he knew would stay with him for the rest of his life. His feet had barely hit the ground by the time the knife was mere centimeters in front of Kiki's stomach.
But it never made contact.
The Weequay flew—straight across the clearing and into a tree with a gut-wrenching thud. Bark and wood split and was nearly crushed under the impact of his head. Dark blood spilled out of his ears and nose, his black eyes barely twitching before his limp body crumpled and fell to the ground.
Jax was barely processing what had transpired; Kiki had not touched him. He looked from the dead body to the Cursed woman, gears and pieces finally clicking in his head.
Kiki looked just as surprised as the rest of them, and she felt their astonishment, straight down to her bones and inner core. She was frozen to the spot, fear tethering her legs to the ground and holding her mouth open in a weak attempt to scream. It was Jax's careful step forward and soft call of her name that ripped her from her stone-like state. Everything the clones felt—their cold fear, sickening disbelief, sharp surprise, and their solid need to fill out a duty that pervaded all other thoughts—crashed down on her and twisted up her lungs, barely allowing any air in.
It was her own, fear, ultimately, that stood out to her.
They were going to kill her.
"No…" Her voice was barely a soft whisper, but Kiki was already quickly backing away to the tree line, her heart thudding and ready to jump out of her throat. "No!" She shouted, turned and ran as hard as she could through the bushes and trees.
"Kiki, wait!" Jax yelled, immediately taking off after her. He could hear the others giving chase as well, taking different directions to try and cover as much ground as possible. She was fast, and she knew this forest better than any of them—she could be anywhere and they wouldn't be able to find her for hours, maybe even days. Jax slowed down, his breathing being the only audible thing to him. The wind whispered through the thin, spindly branches covered in new green buds, the branches brushing together and making new noises all their own.
Save for these, it was completely silent in the forest.
There was a short yelp—a woman's voice—that sounded from up ahead, followed by the sound of sticks breaking and snapping underfoot. Jax didn't follow immediately, instead choosing to tread lightly and listen to the sounds of the person moving slowly away from him. He already knew who it was.
Kiki's heart had settled on a flutter-quick pace in her chest, barely expanding before shrinking back again and again and again. She took a moment to press a hand to the gnarled trunk of a tree, letting the cool breeze flow through her hair as innumerable emotions flooded her mind.
Had she lost a family already? The thought settled in her gut and soured like rotten food. Her eyes burned, throat closing to the width of a flower stem. Why was she crying over a family she'd never really had? They wanted her dead, and she'd seen real families before; they didn't try to kill each other. They laughed and played and bought one another gifts. They were happy and never was a member lonely.
Jax bought you things, her inner voice reminded her. Nice things, things that you needed. Nobody else would do that for you.
Maybe Jax was her family?
They're going to kill you, the more rational side of her said. They're soldiers; it's their job. They didn't really care about you.
Kiki couldn't stop her tears from flowing, but she could clamp a hand over her mouth to stifle the sounds of sobbing. Her shoulders shook with each tear, her finger tips biting into the rough bark of the tree she clung to for support.
Branches were pushed out of the way a few meters to her right, an annoyed man's grunt shooting straight into her ears as he tried his best to pick his way through the forest's thick underbrush. Almost instantly, they sped up to a sprinting pace.
They'd found her. And they were going to shoot her and brag about how they'd killed a Cursed bitch and how easy it was. They'd talk and laugh about how she lived in the forest and they made friends with her, fishing and eating together before one of them pulled the trigger. Kiki did nothing to hide her cry of alarm as she tore through the woods in the opposite direction. With a force she didn't know existed, the wind was knocked out her and she fell to the ground, someone's heavy body pinning her down.
"No! Get away from me! Help!" Who was going to help her? The men she'd called family who so badly wanted to kill her? Kiki forced the thoughts out of her mind, instead focusing on doing the same thing to the soldier that she'd done to the Weequay who'd tried to kill her.
Immediately, the weight lifted off of her. The soldier's body—she had yet to identify who it was—hit the ground with a hard thud. He didn't fly nearly as far or hard the Weequay had. Some part of her didn't want to kill him.
"Kiki, stop!" The man lunged forward, recovering from the blow with relative ease. She tried to summon the same thing she'd used before, but all that came out was a small shove, barely enough to deter him as he struggled to tackle her again.
"No! You're going to kill me!" She was shoved to the ground again, and no amount of kicking would get his weight off her.
"Kiki stop—I won't kill you! I promise I'm not going to hurt you!" The man's hands held either side of Kiki's face, forcing her to stop her frantic struggling long enough to get a good look at his features.
It was Jax, with his brown eyes and tan so unlike the Weequay man's. Concern pierced through his dark irises and stirred up more tears from Kiki's eyes.
"Kiki, I'm not going to kill you," he half-whispered. "You're safe with me, Kiki. You're safe." He stood, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her up as well. His hands remained where they were, his eyes meeting hers in the darkness of the forest. "Wait, are you crying?"
Kiki sobbed, the heels of her palms pressing against the flood of tears and hiding much of her face from Jax. "You were going to kill me—" She was so sure of it that nothing would have swayed her otherwise. It was impossible for a Cursed person to ever have a family, especially one with soldiers who had orders to detain her or shoot her on sight.
She believed this until she felt Jax's arms awkwardly embrace her.
His palm pet her head in a stiff downward motion; Jax was used to none of this. "Shh, don't cry…" he said in as cooing a voice as he could muster. "I would never kill you. Never. You're…you've become a sort-of friend to me." Friend? It didn't sound right to him. Something in his chest said that "friend" just wasn't the right word.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Hm?" Kiki's tears had stopped flowing, although her cheeks were still damp.
"Why didn't you tell me you could use the Force?" The Weequay man's death replayed itself over in his mind, and there was no way he could have mistaken it: she'd used the Force, something he thought only Jedi could do, to propel him across the clearing and ultimately kill him.
"Was I meant to?" she murmured.
He supposed not, so he didn't answer. Instead, Jax reveled in the hug he was giving until an alarming thought interrupted his pleasures. Was he meant to be hugging her this long? Was he making it awkward? A small, sour tendril of nervousness curled around his stomach and squeezed it tight. Jax let go with an abruptness that startled Kiki—not all the way, though. His hands were still on her arms, and he was rubbing them almost fondly.
Neither of them noticed.
"Do you want to go back to your…" Place? That sounded like he wanted something, and "home" wasn't exactly the right word either. "…clearing?" he stumbled.
Kiki nodded in silence. Brushing back hairs that clung to her tear-stained cheeks, Kiki wiped her eyes and sniffed. She led the way, disengaging herself from Jax's hands. He followed silently, reviewing the hug in his mind and focusing on not tripping over obvious roots and branches while he did so. It was his first hug (with a woman) and his stomach was doing odd little flip-flops, perhaps more from fear than giddiness. Had he messed it up? He might have squeezed too hard, and he was sure his hands were pressing against something other than a back when he held her. Whatever it—or they—was was hard and bony. Maybe she just wasn't as big as he thought—but it didn't feel like a back.
Jax was ripped out of his daydream when he walked into Kiki. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking into the clearing. The rest of the clones stood there, each man in his own varying state of distress. The body was gone.
"Do you think she'll come back?" It was Marik who spoke up. He stared at the fire pit hard, as if glaring enough would make Kiki appear. "This is probably the only place she knows. Where will she go?"
"Dunno." Edger poked through a few things in the cave, not even bothering to put them back. "She could leave the planet, it'd be better for all of us—"
"Edger!" Marik said sharply. "You need to change the way you think about them."
"Why? Because they have 'feelings'?" He scoffed, picking up a plate and tossing it away on the ground. "But then you see those reports of the murders and rapes and robberies they commit. We should just ship them all off to some backwater planet—maybe a sun." He smiled to himself.
Jax took the moment to clear his throat, one hand gently guiding Kiki forward. "I found her," he declared as if he hadn't just heard everything they'd said. "She's safe."
Edger jumped away from the cave as if it'd been on fire. "How long were you standing there?"
Jax ignored him, half guiding and half pushing Kiki into her clearing. "Do you still want us to stay with you?" he asked. "Some of us will keep watch, if you need it."
"Yes please." But Kiki didn't make a move until Edger was nowhere near her cave, on the other side of the clearing. She sat under its stony ceiling and pulled her knees up to her chest. In the cave, she was nearly shrouded in darkness.
"Um..." Marik was still standing in front of the fire pit. "I picked up all the fish I dropped, but we're still missing some. Do you just want to grill these ones?"
Kiki nodded.
Marik began to start a fire, placing small handfuls of dry leaves in the bottom of the pit and layering sticks on top. Kiki had a wire rack that fit neatly over the pit, probably used to hold the lone dented pot she had.
Jax settled himself next to Kiki on the dirt ground, taking the chance to rest a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"
"Will they try to kill me?" she blurted, although softly. She'd had people she thought she could trust turn on her in a split second's notice. She didn't want it happening again.
"No, they won't." Jax would make sure they wouldn't. "I'll protect you Kiki."
Her features remained the same: tired but carefully watching. Kiki absently stared as Marik coaxed flames from the fire pit and placed the sliced-open fish on the grill. Despite how much she appreciated what he was doing, she wasn't sure she was hungry anymore.
I'll protect you…
And yet the Weequay man had come after her. Kiki felt out of place placing the blame on Jax, but she wasn't quite sure whether she could trust him yet. He and the rest of the clones were still in a semi-family stance with her; her near-death hadn't been enough to shove them out of that box.
Family with issues, then. Not-quite-there-yet-family.
"Did you know you were always able to use the Force?" The question came out of nowhere. Jax turned his head to look her in the eye, his face a mask or pure seriousness.
"The Force?" The word was vaguely familiar to her. There was a vision of adults telling her what the Force was, in a sun-lit room with other children who each had something unique about them. The image lasted as long as a heartbeat before it faded.
He nodded. "Up until now, I thought only Jedi could use it and that any child who was sensitive to it was taken in." Maybe she was an undiscovered Force-user.
Kiki had definitely heard of the Jedi. She'd never seen one up close, but from what she heard, they were always graceful and wise, and they accepted Cursed people to be Jedi with them. "I always knew," she responded. "I…I think I used to use it more as a child, and then I stopped."
"Why?"
Kiki remained silent.
Jax turned back to the fire Marik was warming his fingers by. Smoke rose gently from the flickering orange flames. A few different vegetables rested near the fish.
"Would I be able to become a Jedi?" Kiki asked, squashing down the bit of misplaced hope in her voice. "I can use the…Force," she said, "would I be able to join them?"
Jax pursed his lips. His face was apologetic, and her stomach immediately sank. "I don't think so, Kiki. You might be too old."
There was an age limit? Her heart sank, opening a hole in her stomach that would be sure to stay with her for the rest of her life. Her one chance to be with a group of people who wouldn't automatically kill her for being Cursed was crushed. "How old should I have been?"
"They're taken when they're babies. The only exception is General Skywalker; he joined when he was nine."
And she was way past nine. Kiki sighed, pushing her fingernails into her knee.
"Are you alright, Kiki?" Jax shifted so he was mostly in front of her. She still had a slight view of the fire where Marik cooked.
Kiki nodded. "I'm fine," she said.
Jax wasn't so sure of that, but he didn't press her. He folded his lips in, building up the nerve to ask her a slightly sensitive question. He could permanently scare her away if he said this incorrectly. "I was thinking that maybe…we'd be able to go out tomorrow? I could show you around the quieter parts of Coruscant and we could…" It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't listening. His heart sank. "U-Uh, Kiki?"
"Hm?" She seemed surprised for a moment, as if she'd forgotten that he was there.
"I was wondering if maybe—I mean since I have off this week, maybe I could, um, get you some food…? You won't have to pay me ba—"
"Of course!" she exclaimed. Perhaps it was the mention of food that swayed her mind so quickly. The small feathers on her arms flared up in delight. "What type of food is it?"
Jax stared a moment, knocked off guard and trying to gather his thoughts. Had she really accepted? He sincerely hoped this wasn't the same trick that the women in the bars sometimes liked to play. "I-I think they have a few. Most of them are fried pastries and meat things. Maybe some noodles."
A wide smile crept onto Kiki's face. "How good is it? Have you had it before?"
"Yeah, it's pretty good, although I just order the same things over and over…" He chuckled. "I think you might like it." Jax's finger tips began to tingle. Was that a date that he'd just asked Kiki out on? Part of him hoped so, but another part was automatically apprehensive; what if he did something stupid and messed it up? He wasn't sure how Kiki reacted to large crowds, but there was no way she would still be here if she didn't occasionally go into the city for food.
"When are we going?" Kiki wondered how many different types of food there were. She automatically wanted to try them all, and her stomach growled in anticipation. She hoped they'd go soon.
"Maybe tomorrow? I'm not sure if I have leave yet. If not then, then maybe in a few days." Jax rubbed the back of his head, not believing that this was actually working.
Kiki looked giddy, eyes twinkling and shining till a sudden thought hit her. Her face fell and she looked down, apprehensive. "Jax, about this place…"
Jax's heart sank. He couldn't help his lips pursing.
"Is it like a fancy restaurant or diner?" she asked. A finger picked at a hole in the leg of her pants. "Cause these clothes are all I have and I don't think they'd—"
"Oh, no no no." Jax's chest loosened with relief. "It's like a stand, sort of, in between two other shops. The one on the right is a small clothing shop. I'm not sure what's on the left."
Kiki sighed, shoulders sagging. "Okay, good." She started smiling again. "I didn't think they would have let me in if I came in these clothes." She looked down at her folded hands. "I…I'm looking forward to this, Jax…"
"Um…I am too." He was. He really, really was. Jax was sure it would be the highlight of his time on leave. "I'm sure you'll like it. A lot of the other guys go there a lot—"
"There's going to be soldiers there?!" Kiki jerked in fear in no particular direction.
"No, no no no—okay, well maybe—" Jax flinched. "B-But there might not be a lot them there since most of us are out fighting—"
Kiki was nearly cringing away from him, suddenly closed off to the idea of going out. "I'm sorry, Jax; I can't go."
"But…" Jax's face crashed. He crouched in front of Kiki, staring intently into her frightened purple eyes. "If there are soldiers there," he said softly, "they won't go anywhere near you as long as you don't do anything wrong."
"But I'm Cursed!" she cried. "I heard they had some kind of scanner o-or—"
"That's just a myth. We were told to spread it to try and keep Cursed off the streets." Jax sighed, guilty feeling taking over his chest. It wasn't his fault the Cursed weren't welcome on nearly every planet.
But it was his if this one couldn't get a nice meal every once in a while.
"Are you sure?" Kiki subconsciously pressed herself against the back wall of her small cave, partly to get away from the intensity of Jax's look. "Don't lie to me, Jax."
With a sudden fervor, Jax grabbed Kiki's hands, squeezing her fingers together. "I promise I'm not lying to you, Kiki," he said. "None of them will try to bother you if you're with me."
"Why?"
Jax was suddenly embarrassed, his face ashade with embarrassment. "They, um…might assume you're my date…?" His voice cracked viciously. "O-Or since you're so attractive, my, um…p-prosti—"
"I get the idea." Kiki sighed. "I think I'll come with you to that restaurant."
His heart sang. "You will?" A bright grin was growing on his face before he could stop it.
Kiki returned his smile. "Yes, I will Jax. Can you please let go of my hands?" Her cheeks were tinged a light pink. He thinks I'm attractive? She forced down her smile.
Jax quickly released her fingers, sitting back on his rear. "S-Sorry about that," he muttered.
Kiki only nodded, rubbing her hands together and pulling her knees up to her chest.
"Hey, Jax." Edger stepped over to them, peering down at the pair sitting in the darkness. He refused to look at Kiki. "We have to leave. You ready to go?"
Jax nodded, crawling out of the cave with Kiki close behind him. Edger did nothing to mask his look of disgust.
"If we don't hurry back, we'll be carded for breaking curfew." The others were packing up the mess they'd made, putting out the fire and neatly stacking bowls and utensils beside it.
"You'll visit again?" Kiki's voice was meek, her eyes aimed at the bare dirt ground.
"Of course," Jax said. "Trust me, you're going to like this place—"
"You two are going out?" Edger, bent over the smoking and steaming fire pit, suddenly straightened. He trained his eyes on Kiki. "When?" The question was not stated nicely.
Kiki, sensing his immense displeasure with both her and the future excursion, seemingly shrunk under his scrutinizing gaze. Her stomach went cold. "H-He, uh, J-Jax said—"
"We're just going to a restaurant, Edger." Jax crossed his arms. Kiki didn't notice how close by he'd been until he was able to step between her and Edger.
"A restaurant? With her?" He scoffed. "She'd be lucky if they didn't smell her from a kilometer away—"
"Edger!" Jax uncrossed his arms, jabbing a finger into Edger's chest. "What is your problem? What was the point of that?"
Kiki flinched, both at Edger's most likely true comment and Jax's raised voice. She didn't know how she felt about him so quickly jumping to her defense. "I-It's okay, Jax…" she stammered, shoulders crowding around her ears. The feathers on her arms and twisted into her hair started to puff out in anxiety. She tried to force them down as best she could. "H-He might be right—"
"No, he is not right, Kiki." He said it with such intensity that she shrunk away from him, nearly retreating back to her cave. Jax's face immediately softened with regret. "I didn't mean to yell at you; I'm sorry."
"You're sympathizing with one of them, Jax," Edger said, his scowl hiding his incredulity. "I remember when you actually saw what they were like—"
Jax's shoulders stiffened. "Edger—"
"You used to agree with me that they were dangerous, Jax!" Edger's voice rose, the volume scaring some birds and making them take flight. Their startled cries were the only things heard other than Jax and Edger's rising argument.
"Edger—"
His words drove on. "And now you're hanging out and feeding a hey—"
Cord's voice cut harshly through the slur. "Edger!" With hard, angry steps Cord was by his side and gripping Edger's elbow. He wouldn't let go. "Apologize."
Edger snorted. "Why should I? They don't have feelings—" A small gasp, barely perceptible except of you were standing close to the source, interrupted him. He looked over at Kiki, standing but curling in on herself.
She had tears in her eyes.
She sniffed again, pressed palms roughly into her eyes. "N-No, it's fine…" she sniffed, voice cracking. More tears welled in her eyes and shined in the moonlight. "I-I've been called worse." No, she hadn't. Kiki had never in her life been called anything worse than a heyvan. A heyvan was a demon, a nuisance to society, worse than a curse or murder or rape.
It was believed that if you called a Cursed person heyvan enough, they'd kill themselves and leave society forever.
Cord still held his iron grip on Edger's arm, saying with his eyes what he wouldn't with his mouth. There was complete, heavy silence.
"Apologize." Cord said through his teeth. His normally cool grey-and-blue eyes were narrowed with such fierceness that Edger couldn't help but squirm.
A war of guilt and stubborn indignation played itself out on his face before he finally looked away. Eyes narrowed, he cast his glare upon the ground instead of at Kiki. "Sorry," he bit out.
"Look at her and say it," Cord demanded.
Edger met Kiki's eyes and had difficulty holding it. He looked at the trees, everywhere around Kiki. He barely made eye contact. "I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth. Wrenching his arm out of Cord's grip, he sent the pale-eyed clone a sharp look. "There, you happy now?"
Cord only pursed his lips and headed toward the edge of the clearing.
Kiki folded her lips in, biting down hard and only bringing more tears to her eyes. Did Edger really want her to kill herself? She'd known from the beginning that she couldn't consider him family, not the way she did Marik or Jax, but the bitter hatred from a person who'd gone fishing with her hours earlier was a shock.
And yet, a part of her wasn't surprised. He was a soldier and she was Cursed; she should have been dead by now.
Kiki continued to stand there, shoulders hunched and shaking while she tried her hardest to clear up her tears. Without warning, someone's arms wrapped around her, forcing her fists to her chest and holding them there, pinned.
"Don't cry," Marik said, one hand stroking the back of Kiki's head. A few feathers poked out at random angles from her hair, and he tried his best to smooth them down. "Ignore what he said; none of us want you to get hurt, Kiki." He threw a rather vicious glare at Edger.
Jax stood off to the side, not quite sure what to do with himself. He'd been about to comfort Kiki when Marik swooped in and took his place. Now he watched as Kiki was a stiff rock in Marik's arms, caught between relenting and accepting the comfort and shoving him away.
She looked at him, briefly, before she closed her eyes and nearly sagged against him.
Jax's face wrinkled of its own accord, a small, twisted thing forming in his stomach. How did Marik know whether she was completely comfortable with the hug? Didn't he remember her reaction when they'd first been brought here? Jax huffed, not quite sure about his suddenly sour mood but not entirely discontent with it, either. His frown and pursed lips maintained themselves until he realize that Ratchet was staring. With an embarrassed shuffle, Jax crossed his arms and turned his back on the pair. He could still hear Marik muttering things and Kiki sniffling.
"Shh…don't cry, Kiki," Marik said soothingly. His hand still rubbed her head, and he gently swayed to and fro. His other hand rubbed Kiki's back, noting how oddly bony it felt. "Ignore what Edger said; you're wanted here, Kiki. I don't want you dead—no one does." Lie. Many people wanted her dead without even knowing her, simply because she was Cursed. But Marik figured that it was worth the lie if it meant cheering her up.
Kiki took a deep breath, then another. The inner emotions of everyone around her mingled strangely with her own. Cord was still chastising Edger, and Edger was feeling stubborn and indignant—although a small, dark tendril of guilt was creeping in. Marik was all soothing warmth and Ratchet observed all of them in a very plain, frank and curios neutrality. There was no judgment in him.
Meanwhile, Jax was unnerved; his emotions ranged almost wildly from discomfort, to faint shame, to awkwardness, to something akin to…jealousy?
Kiki nearly started from the seemingly random emotion. Why was that there? Was he jealous of her? Did he want to be hugged by Marik? Kiki's lips twitched at the thought. She couldn't blame Jax; Marik gave good hugs.
"You feeling better now? I heard you sigh in a not-sad way," Marik said, his voice slightly muffled by her feathery hair.
Kiki nodded, taking a slow breath. "I'm better now, Marik. Thanks."
He finally let her go, but still kept his hands on her upper arms. With a small squeeze, he smiled. "You sure?"
"Sure."
His smile only widened. "Great." With purpose and surety, he marched to Edger. "You, on the other hand," he said in a low whisper, "I need to talk to."
Edger rolled his eyes. "Save your breath; everything you want to say, Cord already did."
Marik scowled but didn't say any more to him. "We might as well head home. Bye Kiki!" He waved.
Kiki gave a bashful wave back, pressing the heel of her palm against her eyes. A breeze blew through the clearing, making her shiver. She was about to return to her little cave when she bumped into Jax. "O-Oh! You're still here." She sniffed. "Is there something you're forgetting?" Kiki's scanned the small area, not seeing anything that didn't belong to her.
"No, um…" He'd thought it would be a good idea to stay behind and try to repeat what Marik had just done, but now that he was standing before Kiki, the whole idea seemed stupid. "I just want you to know that…" Know what?
"Nobody thinks of you like that—we all really like you, Kiki," he rushed out. Without thinking, he grabbed her hand, squeezing her slender fingers. Jax looked down, completely at a loss for what to say. He focused on her uneven fingernails. "You're…you're becoming more of a friend to us, Kiki…a-and…" He swallowed, a nervous prickle beginning in his armpits and running down his sides. Out of complete fear, his hand increased its grip on Kiki's fingers. "J-Just ignore what Edger says," he muttered. "I don't know why he's like that, but…I don't share his feelings about you. None of us do." Jax risked a peak at Kiki.
Her eyes were smiling—and her lips were, too. Her entire face was lit up with a gentle happiness that spread from her lips, to her deep violet eyes, to her freckled cheeks. Subconsciously, Jax noted how his hand was being stroked by her thumb.
"Thank you, Jax," she said softly. The stroking stilled for a moment. "I…" Kiki folded her lips in, a pink blush falling over her cheeks. Her arms encircled his torso, holding him close to her while they stood in the middle of the clearing.
Jax froze, every single thought he'd had up until that moment flitted from his head in a dizzying confusion. A heavy thudding started up somewhere in his chest. Was that normal? He didn't know—he couldn't think.
"Thank you, Jax," Kiki said. "I didn't think you'd still want to hang out with me after everything that's happened." Her mouth was dangerously close to his ear.
Jax arms were still stuck in the air, caught between wrapping around her waist, resting on her hips, or holding her back. What was one normally meant to do in these situations? Jax's mind drew blank. True, he'd held her about an hour earlier, but that hug had been a comfort hug. This was a thank you hug. They were different.
And so, his arms settled on her waist—not entirely platonic, but it would have to do since he felt he'd been standing still for too long.
Kiki took a breath. With slow, deliberate movement, she pulled away from Jax. Brushing her hair from her face, Kiki took a step back. "You should probably get back to your friends," she mumbled.
"Um…yeah," Jax answered absently. He couldn't stop thinking about their brief hug. Kiki was warm. "I'll…I'll see you later, Kiki." He wasn't sure why his face was red, but Jax was positive it was obvious in the near-darkness.
Kiki nodded, grinning again before turning and crawling into her little cave.
Sorry for being gone for so long. It took me a while to get my writing flow back. There's a poll up on my profile for who's back story you want to read first (out of all the members of Crusade Squad). You can vote for up to two.
~AAx