I know it's been a long time since my last update, but I think this chapter makes up for it. According to MS Word it's 35 pages long. Otherwise known as a long a** chapter. Normally I wouldn't have censored that out, but this story is k+. I'm not changing the rating because of a bad-mouthed author. Just to let you know, and I'll probably add this to chapter one, I don't hate any of the characters. It's just that some characters encounter more misfortune than others. Anyways, enjoy.
-11:00am Farron Household-
"You kiddos ready to go to the toy store?" asked Mr. Farron.
Lightning quickly scanned the group to see if they were presentable.
'Let's see… Fang and Vanille have their hair and accessories in order. Hope wakes up with perfect hair every day, so he's fine. Serah… Yep, she's got her bandages on.'
Then she finally turned to Sazh and Snow.
'They look presentable enough. Although Sazh looks like he had his eyes lids peeled back and Snow has grubby nails and messy hair… I guess that's to be expected in the morning.'
"Yeah dad. We're ready to go to the-"
"Wait!" exclaimed Snow. "Sazh and I need to go back to the guest room!"
"Why do you need to go there, Snow? Did you forget something?" asked Lightning.
"Yes!" he proclaimed. "I forgot my limited edition Moogle Rangers comb that I painted gold. Just look at my hair! I can't go out like this!"
"Okay. So Sazh, why do you need to go with Snow just to get his comb?"
"He needs me there so that they don't take him to the other side." said Sazh.
"I forgot you boys slept in that room." cut in Mr. Farron. "Surely you boys remembered to leave an offering for them. You could have left a lock of your hair, one of your shoes, or maybe a toy for the night. After all, they only want to poke and prod at something. You boys did see the offering bowl, right?"
"WHAT?" exclaimed both Sazh and Snow.
Both boys quickly climbed the stairs and went into the guest bedroom to see if what Mr. Farron had said was true. Sure enough, there was an offering bowl atop of the dresser.
"Well, golly. I guess we were straight acting the fool last night." said Snow.
"Hey Snow, I found your comb." said Sazh as he waved about Snow's comb.
"Thanks man. Now let's get out of here before they come back."
Suddenly a strong gust of wind slammed the door shut and, what do you know, it locked.
"Welcome back boys…"
"We were just leaving." said a scared out of his wits Snow.
"You boys aren't going anywhere…"
"We'll do anything Mr. Evil Poltergeist Sir! Just let us leave." cried Snow.
"Who said I was evil? I'm just…angered."
"My apologies Mr. Angered Poltergeist Sir!"
"Please, there's no need to be so formal. Call me Carl, or Raegan. You know, I like both of those names… Call me Carl-Raegan."
"You got it Mr. Carl-Raegan." said Sazh.
"Was I speaking to you Afro Kid?"
"Hey! Don't make fun of my afro and the name's Sazh!"
"In this room your name is what I make it."
"Ooh, what do you call me then?" asked a curious Snow.
"Your name is Blonde-Headed Glory Boy. Glory Boy for short."
"And I get Afro Kid? That's an insult!"
"Might I remind you that you do, indeed, have an afro. It's kind of your defining feature. If you were bald, I'd call you Bald Kid. And might I add that my best ghost friend has an afro. It'd be wrong of me to insult the afro seeing as he saved my soul and all."
By this time, Sazh and Snow had pulled up a chair.
"Saved your soul?" asked the puzzled Afro Kid.
"Yeah man! He saved me from going to…the light. If it wasn't for him beckoning me to a dark portal of unknown origin, I wouldn't be here today."
"Now, what's so bad about the light?" asked Glory Boy.
"It's a place for sticklers. There are all these rules and everyone is always smiling from ear to ear. That didn't sit too well with me. So here I am, terrifying people and consuming their souls for my entertainment in the Farron household."
"Consuming their souls?" asked an alarmed Afro Kid.
"That's only if they fail to give me an offering…which you boys have yet to do!"
"What would you like Carl-Raegan?" asked a nervous Glory Boy.
"For starters, this is your second visit to this room. Therefore, I want double the offering."
"You name it and we'll offer it!" said Afro Kid.
"Afro Kid I want your boots and your coat."
"Anything you want Mr. Carl-Raegan!" said Afro Kid as he quickly took off his coat and boots.
"Blonde-Headed Glory Boy, I want your socks and some locks of luscious platinum hair!"
"Well here's my socks sir." said Glory Boy as he held them up. "But, how much hair do you want?"
"See that bowl over there? Put it on your head and cut around the edges."
"But that'll give me a bowl cut!"
"Is that defiance I hear?"
"No sir. Glory Boy could never be defiant." said Afro Kid as he slammed the bowl on top of Glory Boy's head.
"Afro Kid, no!" screamed Glory Boy. But it was too late. Afro Kid had already started to snip at his hair with a pair of scissors that was handed to him by Carl-Raegan.
"How could you Afro Kid? I thought you were my friend!" cried Glory Boy.
"Friends? There's no such thing as friends in this room! Once we stepped through that door we stopped being Sazh and Snow. Times are tough and you've got to fight for what's yours! The only thing of value in this room is your soul!" said Afro Kid.
"Uh… Afro Kid, I think you're taking this a little too fa-"
"I've been fighting this war for ages. Do you see the wear on my face Glory Boy? We don't have time to be friends! Now grab your squirt gun, 'cause this battle ain't over!"
"You know what Afro Kid? All is forgiven." said a frantic Glory Boy. "Here Mr. Carl-Raegan, you can have my hair."
Once all the offerings were gathered Carl-Raegan proceeded to poke and prod at them.
"Okay boys, everything seems to be in order here. Afro Kid, you may have your coat and boots back. Glory Boy, you can have your socks."
"Uh, Mr. Carl-Raegan? Can I have my hair back?" asked Glory Boy.
"Did I say you could have it back?"
"Well, no. But I thought it must have slipped your mind or something."
"I'm no longer human, meaning I never forget…ever."
"What about that time you promised to get me an ice-cream cone?"
"Oh, that? I must have forgotten."
"Ha! I just proved you can forget!"
"Ha! I just proved I can lie! Now skedaddle or I might consider consuming your soul or something like that. Maybe I'll take over your body and do some evil deeds. I haven't decided yet."
"You heard the poltergeist Glory Boy, let's get out of here!" said Afro Kid as he pulled Glory Boy out of the room.
Now Sazh and Snow only intended to be in that room for two minutes, but obviously things happened and they managed to kill thirty minutes.
-11:30am Downstairs-
"What took you guys so long?" asked Lightning. "And why is your hair different Snow? Did you comb it really hard?"
"Whatever do you mean Lightning? My hair is fine!" said Snow as he put on a conveniently placed beanie.
"Sazh, what really happened in that room?"
"The name's Afro Kid!" Sazh fiercely shouted. "No, my name is Sazh…" he said more to himself.
"Whatever… you guys ready to go?"
"Yeah Glory Boy and me… No, his name is Snow."
"Well, whenever you two have your names figured out, we'll be waiting outside." said Mr. Farron as he led the rest of the kids outside.
"Get it together man!" said Snow. "Out here, I'm Snow and you're Sazh! Hopefully, we'll never have to use those other names ever again."
"Are you sure?" asked a doubtful Sazh.
"On my Moogle Ranger Cadet honor!"
"Well, we'd better not keep them waiting." said Sazh.
-11:35am Driveway-
"Well kids, I only have room for four of you. Looks like three of you will have to ride with…the misses." said Mr. Farron.
"I'm not afraid of mom!" Lightning proclaimed. "Go on Serah. You can take my place in dad's transportation. Make sure you buckle Odin in."
"You mean that cup holder with the shoe string?" asked Serah.
"For the millionth time it's a golden throne of glory, not a cup holder."
"Whatever you say Light…" mumbled Serah.
"Alright you wimps, who else is brave enough to ride with mom?" asked Lightning.
"I'll go wherever you go!" Hope bravely replied.
"That's awfully brave of you Hope. Anyone else? Just to let you know, you might die."
'Aw shoot. She should have said that before. I'll seem like a wimp if I back out now!' thought Hope.
"I'll go with you Light! We are best friends after all." said Fang.
"Sorry Fang, I'm taking Vanille with me. In this short time, I thought it would be best to take her instead of you."
"But why? Like I previously stated, we're best friends!" cried Fang.
"That's the point Fang, we are best friends! If mom suddenly pulled a dangerous stunt and the people in the back seat were critically injured, I'd feel better knowing that my best friend was safe."
"Oh, that makes sense. Whelp, you heard her Vanille, you're riding with Mrs. Farron." said a reassured Fang.
"Now that everything's settled, let's go." said Lightning.
"Um…about that. " started Vanille. "I've been thinking and I don't feel like getting critically injured."
"What? You'll be fine. Nothing's going to happen for you to get critically injured." replied Lightning.
"But what about that speech you gave Fang? You know, the one about the people in the back seat getting injured. Critically I might add." said Vanille.
"Speech? Critically injured? Vanille, what are you talking about?" asked Lightning. "Get in my mom's transportation and everything's going to be just fine."
"Well… if you say so." said a defeated Vanille.
-11:52am Mr. Farron's Transportation-
"So we've been driving for about five minutes and it's come to my attention that I have yet to play some music for you kiddos." started Mr. Farron. "I know! I'll play Serah's favorite cd for you guys. Hey Sazh, since you're sitting in the front seat, can you reach in the glove compartment and pull out the only cd in there?"
Opening the glove compartment, Sazh saw that there was indeed only one cd. All the others were crushed to bits or split in two.
"Um, may I ask why all the other ones are broken?" asked Sazh.
"Oh you know, sibling rivalry. Claire likes to break Serah's cds. There is no other reason except for that. It's definitely not because she doesn't like the songs or anything. Sometimes when I turn around to check on them I see Claire banging her head against the window to the beat of the song. She really likes Serah's cds. It's just that whole one year older thing. I'm sure she'll grow out of it."
"Whatever you say Mr. Farron." said Sazh as he inserted the cd.
"Okay, I want you to play track five. I think you kids will like that one." said Mr. Farron.
Sazh did as he was instructed and changed the song to track five. The song started off okay. There was a solid beat and some awesome melodies. But then the lyrics started.
"Alrighty kids, are you ready r-ready?"
"Y-yeah!" yelled Snow.
"Oh goodness! Holy Etro! This is my favorite song dad!" Serah squealed.
'Oh Maker' thought Fang. 'Here we go…'
"Let's jump j-jump j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jump! Tap your heels, roll them wheels, we're gonna jump!"
At the mention of the word jump both Snow and Serah attempted to actually jump. All Fang and Sazh could do was sink lower into their seat. Even Odin started to sag from the music.
'What do wheels have to do with anything?' thought Fang.
'This is what I get for taking the easy way out.' thought Sazh.
"Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, oh my goodness it's your nose!"
"I'm wiggling my fingers!" said Snow.
"I'm wiggling my toes!" said Serah.
"Jump j-j-j-j-jump! The end."
"Good Goddess Etro, that song was awesome Serah! You have good taste in music." said Snow.
"Aw shucks Snow. You know how I be rollin'."
"! MURDER! I'm gonna MURDER!"
Upon hearing his secret song, Mr. Farron quickly turned off the stereo. 'Oh fedashgr! They weren't supposed to hear that!'
"I didn't like that song." said Snow.
"Me neither." added Serah.
"Why'd you turn off the song Mr. Farron?" asked Fang. "That was right up my alley!"
Ignoring Fang's question, Mr. Farron proceeded to skip to track seven.
"Here's a song you kids will like."
At the same time…
Hope and Vanille were scared out of their minds. Mrs. Farron was up to her no good driving habits again. Lightning was the only one that wasn't peeing her pants.
"You're going 200mph in a 60mph zone mom." said an unfazed Lightning.
"Is that why there's chaos all around me?" asked Mrs. Farron.
"Sure is mom."
"But Claire, I can't help it. It's hard to drive the speed limit with my past." said Mrs. Farron as she slowed down for a stoplight.
Just then, a PSICOM soldier pulled them over.
"Ma'am." the soldier began. "I noticed you were going 140 mph over the speed limit. I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
'Maybe I can use my… No I can't do that in front of the children. Time for Plan B.' thought Mrs. Farron.
"Mom maybe you can use your… Aw shucks I forgot! You can't do that in front of Vanille and Hope." said Lightning.
"Oh but maybe you can do… Dang it all! I forgot you can't do that in front of Lightning and Vanille." said Hope.
"Just do it!" yelled Vanille.
"It's okay kids, I'm going with Plan B."
As the PSICOM soldier returned to their vehicle, Mrs. Farron put on her A game.
"So, uh, Lucy is it? That name's a little too girly for a young man such as yourself."
"It runs in the family Ma'am… Here's your ticket."
"Before you hand me that ticket, I have a proposition for you."
"What kind of proposition?"
"I'm proposing that we have a race. Me vs. You. Winner gets off hands free."
"So what happens if you lose?"
Mrs. Farron laughed. "Let me tell you what happens when you lose. When my awesomeness beats the shorts off of you, you'll have to take the ticket and go to jail."
"But, what if I win?"
"That would be a miracle from the Goddess Etro if you somehow manage to win. To humor you, let me lay down a scenario as to what would happen in an alternate universe in a galaxy far, far away from our alternate galaxy. To put it simply, if I ever so happen to lose, you would have had the pleasure of racing with Mrs. Farron."
"You're Mrs. Farron?" asked Lucy.
"Yes, now hurry up and get in your vehicle so we can race."
"But I didn't even accept your proposal!"
"Oh but you did. Look, you even signed this piece of paper."
"But that's your ticket!"
"No, that's your ticket."
Defeated, Lucy went to his vehicle and revved his engine.
"On the count of go, we shall start."
"Why not three?" asked a puzzled Lucy.
"Well, when I count to three I'm gonna do something special." Mrs. Farron replied.
"Something special?"
Ignoring Lucy's confusion, Mrs. Farron started to count. "One. Two. Three." On the count of three she uncovered a red button on the dashboard that was labeled rockets and pressed it. "Go!"
Without even looking back Mrs. Farron sped her way to the undesignated finish line. Ahead of Mrs. Farron were the rockets she launched. You see, they were launched to destroy each and every traffic camera she would pass.
The whole way there, Lightning yawned and tried to remember how many unicorn horns were in her stockpile. Hope and Vanille on the other hand were far from calm. Hope cried for his mother and Vanille cursed Cocoon and all of its inhabitants.
After many twists and dangerous turns, Mrs. Farron made it to the undesignated finish line and waited for Lucy to catch up.
"Are we there yet?" asked Lightning.
"Yes sweetie. Now we're just waiting for Lucy to arrive." replied Mrs. Farron.
"Can I play my cd now?"
"No dear. You're going to have to wait until I perform a citizen's arrest on Lucy."
"Fine."
Back at Mr. Farron's vehicle…
"And that's how you wiggle your knee!"
'Oh Maker, just take my soul now!' thought Fang.
Sazh had already lost consciousness and could not voice any of his thoughts.
"I'm gonna have to try that when we get to the toy store Serah." said Snow.
"I've tried it thousands of times. It's fun." replied Serah.
"I'm glad you kids enjoyed that song. Time for track eight." said Mr. Farron as he skipped to the next song.
"Robbin' banks, robbin' banks, everyday I rob banks and then shoot you in the face! You better get facial reconstruction 'cause I'm gonna blow your face off!"
Mr. Farron tapped his fingers to the beat of the music. He was so engrossed in the song that he forgot there were children in the car.
"I'm the boss boss, I'll blow your leg off. Do you have children? Well you better hide them. I'm gonna go out and find them! Yeah you heard me. I rhymed them with them! "
Both Snow and Serah were mortified. They really didn't like the song. Sazh was still unconscious from the previous track. The only ones actually jamming out to the song were Fang and Mr. Farron.
"This song is sweet Mr. Farron! Why couldn't you play this one before?" asked Fang.
"What?" said a startled Mr. Farron. Turning to the side, he saw that there were still children in the vehicle. 'Oh no! I let it happen again!' thought Mr. Farron. Not taking anymore chances, he promptly ejected the disc and threw it out the window. "No more music for now. We're almost there anyway."
'You know, that rapper sounded awfully familiar…' thought Fang.
Back at Mrs. Farron's vehicle…
Lucy had finally arrived at the undesignated finish line and was panting for some reason.
"Did you bicycle here or something?" asked Mrs. Farron.
"No, I'm just having a panic attack about my future arrest."
"Let's get this over with then. I, Mrs. Farron, am performing a citizen's arrest on you, PSICOM soldier Lucy. I will guide you to the hood of your vehicle, restrain you, and then proceed to contact PSICOM for further instructions." said Mrs. Farron as she led Lucy to the front of his vehicle.
"This is Mrs. Farron contacting PSICOM base Bodhum. I have performed a citizen's arrest on PSICOM soldier Lucy for speeding 140mph over the speed limit and causing irreversible damage to the streets of Bodhum."
"Good job Mrs. Farron. We knew Lucy was a bad seed from the moment we hired him. Just leave him tied to a nearby post and we'll come to pick him up in five hours time."
After leaving him tied to a post in the middle of the street, Mrs. Farron returned to her vehicle and continued on her way to the toy store.
"Now can I play my cd?" asked Lightning.
"Go ahead dear."
"Awesome." said Lightning as she shoved in her cd.
"So what are we gonna listen to Light?" asked Hope.
"Just my favorite cd ever."
"Audio book number two. Magnificent Horses Grazing on Grass."
'This sounds a bit boring.' thought Vanille.
"The majestic horse, Bruce, felt his tummy rumble for the umpteenth time. Deciding to quell his hunger needs, Bruce gracefully lowered his head to the luscious ground below."
'It's off to a good start...'
"He saw a particularly delicious looking blade of grass among the shrubbery below him. Moving his head 40 degrees to the right, Bruce opened his mouth and let the blade of grass graze his tongue. Almost immediately he spit it back out. It seems this time, Bruce's ability to pick out delectable grass was below par."
"I would have spit out a blade of grass I didn't like too!" said Hope.
"I do that all the time Hope." said Vanille.
"Regaining his focus of the task at hand, Bruce continued on his quest for the perfect blade of grass. Just as he spotted his next target, a shadow appeared above him. With the grace of a god, Bruce lifted his head to see the figure above him. His heart broke in two at the sight that met his eyes. It was Angelica, the winged horse. They were soul mates never meant to be. It seemed that she had her eyes on that particular blade of grass as well. And thus, the battle for grass began."
'So moving!' thought Vanille.
-12:05pm Toy Store Parking Lot-
"Here we are kids, Toys Are You." said Mr. Farron.
"You know Mr. Farron, I think that's getting a little too close to copyright infringement." started Snow. "What was the name of that store on Earth again? Toys R Us but with a backwards R? Toys R Me? Toys R?"
"Eh, it's not my store. Let's go children, it's time to get those toys!" said Mr. Farron.
Mr. Farron waited for all of the children to file out of the vehicle before getting out himself. Sazh didn't budge.
"You know Sazh, we're here."
"…"
"What, are you waiting for me to open the door for you?"
"…"
"Well, fine. I'll do it." said Mr. Farron as he stepped out of his transportation. "One, of these days Sazh, you've got to learn to open the door!"
Once Mr. Farron fully opened the door, Sazh's unconscious body fell ungracefully to the concrete below. The fall, unsurprisingly, managed to wake Sazh up.
"Ugh…what happened?" asked a disoriented Sazh.
"Well, obviously, you fell asleep during that awesome car ride…without your seat belt on!" replied Mr. Farron.
"I had a nightmare." continued Sazh. "We were in the car and the worst music I ever heard was playing. I felt as if I died a little. My cool factor went down as well."
"That sounds awful!" said Snow. "We were listening to great music in the car. Well, except for those other tracks played. I almost wet my pants!"
"The music was that good?"
"Heck yeah man!"
"Against my better judgment, I'm going to ask for a copy of those songs."
"I'm sure Serah could hook you up."
"So, Serah, you know I'm an opera kind of guy. Your cd will live up to my standards, right?" asked Sazh.
'What's opera? Is it short for something? …what is it short for? Operator? Operation? Operational? My cd is operational… That must be it! Sazh wants an operational cd. He should have said that in the first place! Making me go through the trouble of all this internal analysis of context clues…' "Oh, okay. My cd is right up your alley!" said Serah.
"I hope we have the same thing in mind." said Sazh.
"Of course we do! Operational, right?"
"What? No!"
"Let's go to the store already!" said Serah in an attempt to get her dad's attention.
"Sure thing sweetie. First thing, we go find mom. Then we go store." said Mr. Farron. "Do you get gist of words?"
"Yo comprende dad." said Serah.
"Actually, the correct terminology would be yo comprendo." said Snow.
"How would you know? Do you speak Spanish?" asked Serah.
"If by Spanish you mean Snowish then yeah! I created it. The government must have harnessed this language by stealing my excess brain waves transmitted by my cranium."
"Can we just go find mom now?" asked an impatient Serah.
"Serah's right. We should go find her." said Mr. Farron as he led the group of kids to search for his wife.
Through the whole exchange, Fang just stood snickering to herself. 'Heh. Serah's cd.'
"Now if I know my wife, there should be a row of damaged cars somewhere around here." said Mr. Farron as he looked down the rows. "Oh! I see smoke coming from down there! Let's go children."
-In Mrs. Farron's Vehicle-
"And there Angelica lay, atop the perfect blade of grass, relinquishing her last breath. Bruce shed a single tear for his beloved. No more would they have to fight against each other for she was in a better place now. End of audio book number two. Please insert audio book number three, No More Grass for Magnificent Horses."
Mrs. Farron had arrived at the toy store ten minutes ago, but everyone in the vehicle wanted to hear the end of the story. Hope was crying along with Vanille. Lightning tried to stay strong, but everyone knew she died a little inside. Mrs. Farron was having a hard time keeping it together.
"Why Bruce? Why did you kill her?" cried Mrs. Farron.
"Yeah! Weren't they soul mates?" asked Hope.
"After listening to this audio book for the billionth time, I've come to the conclusion that they were just too similar." replied Mrs. Farron. "That's why your father and I got lost that one time. Your father was a rapper and I was a drag racer. Everything was going so well because we were so different! But things started to fall apart when we became more similar. You see, at the time, rap music was so enticing and I let it consume me. It just wasn't possible for two rappers to live in the same household, let alone be together. Tensions rose and he even filed a lawsuit against me. I didn't blame him though. It was really hard to distinguish whose lyrics were whose when we both practiced in the same room. It was inevitable that we'd get lost. We went our separate ways for a while and that's when I found science. When we were different again I no longer had the urge to shoot him with my hidden pistol anymore. Apparently, he felt the same way. So you see kids, we are soul mates. Things just get a little rocky when you're too similar. "
After hearing Mrs. Farron's random confession, everyone forgot about Bruce.
"You guys did find each other again, right?" asked a wary Lightning.
"Of course pumpkin! We did that ages ago. That whole shebang happened when we were still young and stupid. You know, the glory days." explained Mrs. Farron.
"These aren't the glory days anymore?"
"Of course not!" Mrs. Farron hastily replied. 'Oh shoot!' "These are the, uh, magnificent days! You know the ones that are better than the glory days. I'm no longer young and stupid. Now I'm just moderately aged and very smart."
"That's good to hear. Can we go before you decide to reveal anything else?" asked Lightning. "It's touching that you want to share all this with me but not in front of Hope and Vanille. Okay?"
"You're right sweetie. Let's go. I think I can see your dad anyways." said Mrs. Farron as she unlocked the doors.
As soon as Vanille saw that her door was unlocked, she made a beeline for Fang.
"Fang, I don't care if you're Lightning's best friend or not, you're riding with Mrs. Farron on the way back!" shouted Vanille.
"Oh thank you Vanille, I was going to demand the same thing from you. I can't go back in that vehicle. Serah's music was terrible. It made Sazh pass out!" exclaimed Fang.
"Then it's agreed. Let's Pulse shake on it!" said Vanille as she held out her arm.
"Don't you mean let's Gran Pulse shake on it?" Fang questioned.
"I've been living here too long… Anyway let's shake on it!"
They crossed their wrists together and counted each other's pulse.
You see the Gran Pulse natives way back when decided that health was very important. To get the children into the health groove, they made a "handshake" and marketed it as fun. They claimed it could keep even the biggest promises. But in reality it just only checked the little ones' pulse.
"Wow Vanille your pulse is a little high."
"What is it?"
"Your pulse is 150 beats per minute. Take a chill pill. Did you bring those with you?"
"I just ran here you know! And, no, I forgot those at the tree house."
"So what's my pulse Vanille?"
"It's 90 beats per minute. Completely normal."
"That's awesome. Let's go catch up with the others."
-12:20pm Toy Store-
"Okay kids feel free to roam around for a while. I'm gonna go across the street and buy some clothes. Pants to be specific. Jeans to be precise. Oh and Serah, me go now. Hold Claire's hand." said Mr. Farron.
"I have to hold Serah's hand the whole time?" asked Lightning.
"Yes and you better not let it go."
"What happens if I do let go? Will I get punished?"
"Something like that."
"Serah, you heard dad. Grab my hand and never let go."
As Serah made her way to Lightning, Mr. Farron departed and left the misses with the group of children.
"Claire sweetie, you don't have to hold Serah's hand. Your father just cares for Serah, her being five and all. Just make sure she stays out of trouble and doesn't get kidnapped. If you need me I'll be in the build your own toy section." said Mrs. Farron.
Once Mrs. Farron left, all the kids huddled together to strategize a plan.
"Okay guys, what are we going to do?" asked Lightning.
"What toys are we going to buy?" asked Hope.
"I want to play war." started Fang. "We should all buy weapons."
"You know guys, I don't really like violence." Serah meekly added.
"Okay, then it's decided. We're all going to buy weapons." said Lightning.
"Uhh, did you not hear me Lightning?"
"Oh I heard you Serah. Just go wander the aisles and buy whatever you want since you don't want to play war with us."
"So how are we going to do this? Are we going to split up into groups or is this a solo mission?" asked Hope.
"Me and Sazh will go together." said Snow.
"I'm going with Serah!" exclaimed Vanille.
"I don't know. Picking out a weapon is kind of a personal thing." said Fang.
"I agree." started Lightning. "Looks like you, me, and Hope are going solo."
"Well fine." Hope mumbled. "It's not like I brought up the whole group thing to be in a group with anybody."
-Serah and Vanille Toy Store Aisle 5-
Because they were unsatisfied with aisles one through four, Serah and Vanille decided to give aisle five a shot.
"What are those?" Vanille shouted as she pointed to a toy hanging in the aisle.
Upon closer inspection she found that it was called the Do As I Command It.
"Well that's a weird name… Wait a minute! I bet it's a quiz game!"
"That sounds like fun." said Serah. "Why don't you try it out?"
"I think I'll do just that." said Vanille as she took down the toy from where it was hanging.
As soon as she touched it, the Do As I Command It stirred to life. The screen glowed red and you could see a few quantum physics problems quickly scroll across. When it was fully booted, a sinister face appeared.
"Would you like to start a new game or continue where the last poor soul lost?"
"New game please."
"Very well then."
"Wait, before we start, this is a quiz game right?"
"Of course."
"Then why is it called Do As I Command It?"
"You might get to see why and you might not. It depends on who's playing."
"Okay, well I'm ready when you are."
"Question one. What is the difference between velocity and centrifugal force?"
"Well, velocity is real."
"Correct. Question two. On a planet called Earth, in June of 1999, what singer had a hit single that peaked at number one on the billboards for five weeks straight?"
"Huh. That's a tough question. Good thing I paid attention in Earth studies. I believe the answer is Christina Aguilera with her hit single Genie in a Bottle."
"That's… Correct! Question three. What is ten plus three?"
"Oh no. I didn't pass addition class. Let me try and work this out. Carry the one… Minus twelve… Square root that… The answer is seven!"
"I believe it when you said you did not pass."
"Does that mean I lose?"
"Yes. Definitely yes."
"Aw fedashgr."
"If you would so kindly put me back where I was so that a worthy child can purchase me."
"Sure thing Mr. Do As I Command It." said Vanille.
As she put the toy back, she caught a glimpse of something interesting a few aisles down.
"I wonder what that is." said Vanille as she unknowingly ditched Serah.
Not knowing that Vanille had ditched her, Serah made her way to the Do As I Command It toy.
"That looked like an awful lot of fun. It couldn't hurt for me to try."
"Would you like to play a friendly game of wits?"
"Sure!"
-Hope Toy Store Aisle 15: Realistic Knives and Other Cutlery-
Hope is a gentle soul. That's why he was looking for a toy weapon that wouldn't cause anyone harm. He wanted something safe and cushiony.
"This aisle looks intimidating." said Hope as he made his way past many dangerous looking toys. "Are these toys real?"
Hope reached out to touch one of the many harmful looking play knives. "Ow! That almost cut my finger off! I better put this back. I don't want to end up cutting off someone's favorite finger."
As he made his way down the aisle, he spotted a horrible sight.
"Is that a machete? And is the blood on it real? That is off my list! I don't want to get blood on anybody. That's not sanitary."
After a quick inspection of the rest of the aisle, Hope deemed all the toys in it too dangerous to buy.
"I need to go to another aisle."
In search of an aisle with safer toys, Hope actually found an even more dangerous aisle. It was called Guns and Projectiles.
"Well at least I won't be cutting off anyone's fingers. Let's see what kinds of toys are here."
Browsing the gun portion of the aisle, he found a toy that advertised semi real bullets.
"That's just pushin' it! I don't want a semi real experience of getting shot! Or shooting anyone for that matter."
At this rate it seemed that Hope would never find the perfect toy. He even came across a crossbow toy that promised to deliver real pain. Now what kind of toy is that?
"I think I'll just go buy a gumball and call it a day."
Just as he lost all hope of finding the perfect safe play weapon, Hope caught a glimpse of something wedged between a mini cannon and replica magnum.
"What could that be?" he asked himself.
Curiosity got the better of him. He stuck his tiny hand into the dark crevice between the dangerous toys. What he pulled out made his eyes water with joy. He had found it, the perfect toy.
"This is just what I was looking for! A boomerang! It's even padded with super soft, shock absorbing foam!"
To test how safe it was, Hope chucked it in a random direction with his eyes closed.
"Now if I know anything about boomerangs, it should be coming back to me any second now."
As soon as he closed his mouth the boomerang hit him smack dab in the forehead. He fell over backwards onto the floor.
Now you would think that a head on collision with a boomerang at full acceleration would cause him a lot of pain. Hope didn't feel a thing.
"Wow! This boomerang really works. Except for the throbbing in the back of my head from falling on the floor, it was painless! Man, I can't wait to show Light what I found!"
-Back to Serah-
"Question one. What are the three primary colors?"
"Well that's easy. They're red, yellow, and blue."
"That's correct. Question two. What is five plus two?"
"Oh! You probably asked Vanille this question because the answer is seven!"
"Let's just say I asked a similar question to Vanille. And yes, that is correct! Question three. What happens when you light a candle?"
"Uh. Uhh. What are candles?"
"That is incorrect."
"Aw darn, I guess I lost. Time to put you back."
"I never said we were finished."
"But I lost!"
"I determine who wins and who loses."
"What about people who get all the questions right?"
"They win of course. But let's not get into details. Now it's time for the do as I command it portion."
"Okay…"
"You seem to be confused. The do as I command it portion is simple. I command it and you do it."
"That doesn't seem too hard."
"Command number one. Clap your hands."
"That's easy." said Serah as she clapped her hands.
"See that random stranger walking down this aisle? Tell her that her shoes look nice but then immediately take it back."
"That's just mean!"
"I guess you really do want to lose." the Do As I Command It sighed.
"I'm not a quitter!"
Serah bravely walked up to the random stranger and said, "Hey, I like your shoes. But now that I've looked at them for a couple of seconds, I take it back."
"You brought my spirits up for those few seconds. Now I feel worse than I did before you said anything. Thanks for ruining my day." said the stranger.
"Please believe me when I say I didn't mean it."
"Sure you didn't. Bye kid."
"You know what? I'll probably never see her again. I shouldn't feel bad at all."
"Exactly. You see that random tortoise walking around the store with a welcome balloon tied to it? I want you to rip that balloon off and pop it with your bare hands in front of everyone entering the store right now."
"Come on! They won't feel welcomed!"
"Well I guess you could always lose…"
"I would gladly do that."
"Well tough cookies. Do what I say or you'll end up playing this game forever."
"Here tortoise tortoise. Come to Serah."
As if it understood her words, the tortoise made its way towards Serah with balloon in tow. It may be hard to believe, but this particular tortoise was very fond of balloons. Unbeknownst to her, Serah was about to crush both the spirits of the people and the tortoise.
"Let's go to the front and we'll make everybody happy." 'I can't believe I'm about to do this.' she thought as she tried to lead the store's tortoise to the front doors.
This tortoise probably had mind reading powers because it would not budge. Serah tried with all her might to push the it to the front, but after a good twenty seconds he still wouldn't budge.
"This is hopeless. I guess we're going to have to abandon this mission. You have my permission to stop."
"Oh thank Etro! I was hoping you'd say that."
"On to the next mission."
"I thought I didn't have to do these anymore!"
-Fang Aisle 72 Realistic Janitorial Toys-
Now Fang was having the hardest time finding her weapon. She made it all the way to aisle seventy two for Etro's sake! For the umpteenth time she went to inspect every item in the aisle.
"I think I can poison Lightning with this semi-fake floor cleaner but that's too wimpy. War's all about bloodshed and a lot of it."
So far she was getting nowhere.
"Heh, I bet Snow would bust his face after slipping on this realistic floor wax but then again… where's the honor in that?"
Apparently she was very honorable at the age of six years old.
"I can easily blind Hope with this guaranteed real toilet bowl cleaner but I need something… pointy."
In the same aisle as her happened to be a janitor showing his kid what every toy would do if they were real.
"You see this son? This is called a broom. If it were real, it would be used to sweep up those horrible dust bunnies and food crumbs. Possibly broken glass. But that depends on the type of broom you're using."
"Wow dad. You're so knowledgeable in the janitorial field. When I grow up I want to own a chemical company."
"That'll do me proud son. Just remember one thing. Never break a wooden broom and or mop in two."
"Why is that?"
"It's sharp. Like a spear and or lance."
Fang's ears perked up as soon as she heard those words. 'That's it!' she thought. 'I need a spear and or lance. That broom is the ticket to getting one.'
Letting her instincts take over, Fang dashed toward the father and son. With incredible speed she nabbed the broom away from the janitor and promptly broke it over her knee. The result was the spear and or lance she desired.
"Let's go son! There's an animal in this aisle. A beast I say! That creature just broke the sacred instrument of cleanliness. I don't want to be here to see what she does next."
Ignoring the father son duo, Fang admired her handy work. "This'll work just fine. Now what do I do with this broom head?"
-Back to Serah-
"Do you see that flarp over there? I want you to take it and make noise around old people."
"That's kind of rude isn't it?"
"That's the point."
"Well, at least it isn't as bad as the other one."
Taking a jar of flarp in her tiny hands, Serah scoured the store for old people. Luckily she didn't have to look for long. There was an old couple a few aisles back shopping for a birthday present for their dear nephew Charles. They happened to be in the teddy bears and board games aisle.
'Whelp, here goes nothing.' thought Serah as she began to make noise with the flarp.
"Dear, are you making that noise again?" asked the old woman.
"What noise are you talking about?" the old man replied.
"You know that noise you used to make way back when. I thought it stopped."
'Oh shoot. I hope it isn't my flap that's making noise again. I thought I shut it up for good…' "What stopped dearest?"
"You know, the noise from your flap!"
"I swear I'm not doing that!"
"Well, obviously you're lying. Charles' gift can wait. It's time to go to the doctor again."
"I thought I overcame this problem sixty years ago."
"Apparently your flap reopened. So let's leave. I think that little girl is waiting to get a toy from here. It also appears that she's playing with a jar of flarp. Those can be noisy you know. We don't want to damage our hearing."
With the old woman's sensible words, the couple walked out of the aisle to leave the store.
"Pfft! That was hilarious!"
"You know what Mr. Do As I Command It? When I grow up, I'm going to be a good person who doesn't fall under the influence of artificial intelligence."
"That's nice and everything. I have another mission for you. Do you see that fish bowl over there? The one with a live fish in it? I want you to stick your hand in it and eat the fish."
"What? No! I'm not gonna do that."
"Fine then. Now you have to pick up the bowl, smash it, and then eat the fish."
"I still refuse to do it."
"You're only making this harder for yourself. Now you have to pick up the bowl, smash it, step on the glass, and then eat the fish."
"Is there any way I can go back to the first two options?"
"Nope. You clearly stated that you refused to do them."
"Oh, well I do like sushi…"
"That's the spirit."
"Am I allowed to at least wear my shoes?"
"Of course. I don't want you getting hurt or anything."
"Well, here goes nothing."
-Vanille Aisle 26 Ant Farms-
"Man, you'd think after accidentally ditching Serah in aisle five I'd have found my weapon by now. But here I am, twenty one aisles later, and still no weapon."
Looking at the so called ant farms, Vanille started to question whether there were really any ants in them.
Turning the ant farm around, Vanille investigated why the critters weren't home.
Before Vanille walked in the aisle, these particular ants had successfully escaped from their containment. Not wanting their cover blown, they hid behind their old home.
"Let's see. Oh! There's a message. I hope I can read it. I'm not so good at Cocoon words."
Attention customers. To prevent children from getting bitten, the ant farms do not come with ants. Since these are technological times, this message appears to look like ants forming words but in fact this is technology at its best.
"Huh. I actually understood that. And look, the message repeats. I guess it's legit."
As Vanille turned to leave the aisle, the ants stowed away in the pouch she always had on her person.
"Now if I were my weapon, where would I be? Mini nuclear reactors… No, although it's nice that it guarantees to heat your household. Let's see here. Exotic paint. No, I can't use that as a weapon. What's that stuff made out of anyway? I bet it's made out of regular paint. I'm getting too distracted! Come on Vanille. Think!"
Now Vanille wasn't aware of all the commotion she was causing as she wandered through the aisles. She didn't see that kid she tripped or that old couple complaining about a flap as they left the store. She also didn't notice when she stole a cane from that middle aged guy. Of course she found it odd when she went to go scratch her head and, instead of her hand, a hard metal cane whacked her on the noggin.
"Now that really hurt! Where did I get this cane from? Whelp, since I have it, I obviously need it. Now let's see where I am." She looked up to glance at the aisle marker. "Aisle 2. Rope and fishing rods. I made it pretty far! I guess I'll give this aisle a gander."
She was intrigued. Why hadn't she come here before? The shelves were filled with wondrous things.
"I can reel my opponent in and handle them from there. Let's see… There's a long distance rod, a strength rod, and an agility rod. Aw fiddlesticks! It looks like I need them all. Judging from our playground scuffles, Sazh and Hope are long distance fighters. Fang is extremely strong and Snow's a brute. And then there's Lightning who's as fast as her name suggests! If only there was binding material here… Wait a minute. This is the rope and fishing rod section. I'm pretty sure if I reach behind me… Yup! There's rope!"
Vanille quickly grasped all three fishing rods and haphazardly tied them together with the rope.
"This'll do just fine."
-Sazh and Snow Secret Aisle Number 7-
"Aw man. We got lost." said Snow.
"Look on the bright side. At least we have our weapons." replied Sazh.
Sazh and Snow didn't take nearly as long as the others to find what they wanted. Snow found his on aisle one. It was entitled Gloves and Marbles. He wanted to pack a punch but he couldn't do that with gloves alone. That's when he got the idea to fuse the marbles onto his gloves. He would somehow put them on the knuckles of his gloves so that it would hurt very much when he punched his victim. It was a stroke of genius, but how would he go about doing it? During that time, Snow put his hand in his pocket to think. And when he took it out, he had the answer. It was a super glue stick that he had kept from that plate fiasco. You can probably guess what happened next. He had Sazh glue them on for him.
Now Sazh knew right where to go. He had his eye on a specific item for some time now, but he never had any reason to purchase it. Why would he need a toy weapon if all he did was go see the opera with his parents and occasionally watch Moogle Ranger cartoons? Today was finally the day he would get his hands on that replica magnum.
"You know," started Snow. "I never asked what exactly your toy does. I mean, mine's obviously meant for punchin'. What does yours do?"
"It's a gun, Snow. What do you think it does?"
"I figured that much out. But what does it shoot? There's a pretty big hole at the end."
"Marshmallows, Snow. Marshmallows."
"That's pretty cool."
"Yup."
"What flavor are they?"
"Regular."
"Those taste good."
"I guess so."
Sensing that his attempt at small talk wasn't working out, Snow decided to change the subject.
"How'd we get to this aisle anyway?"
"I really don't know, Snow. One minute we were walking and the next we're still walking, but in a different aisle."
"You skipped the part where we went under the floor tiles in the toy cars aisle."
"If you knew how we got here, why'd you ask?"
"You know, so we could talk a little."
"Let's just find a way out of here. I think following that light will help."
Onwards they trekked towards the light. The way out seemed so clear, but as they drew closer their hopes vanished. It was just the holiday aisle.
"What are we supposed to do now? Following that light was a terrible idea! I don't want to buy decorations for the Day of Risen Etro when I don't even buy decorations for my own birthday. That's for parents to do." Sazh rambled.
Snow wasn't paying attention. There was a certain round glowy thing in a dark corner that caught his eye. It seemed to beckon to him.
"Hey Sazh. I think we should investimagate over there." said Snow as he pointed to a dark and foreboding section.
"Um… Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I think there's a way out over there. It just feels… right."
"If you say so…"
Snow walked into the darkness towards the glowy thing with Sazh in tow. As they neared their destination, there seemed to be dark and foreboding music in the background that sent vibrations through the ground and progressively got louder.
"Does it feel earthquakey in here, Sazh?"
"Uh… It must be the bass."
"That makes sense."
"So this is it?"
"Yup."
"Dark portal toys…"
"Kind of brings you back to last night, doesn't it?"
"Snow, do we really have to reminisce right now?"
"Now seems appropriate."
Flashback: Last Night
"Snow, I think we're going to be up all night."
"What do you mean Sazh? I didn't hear or see anything and I still continue to not hear or see anything out of the ordinary."
At the mention of his words, the dark portal vanished.
"I guess I must've been hearing and seeing things. Well, good night then."
"Yeah, you too."
Just then, both boys were vaulted towards the ceiling. As they fell, a booming voice continued to scare the begeebies out of them.
"I don't know if it was just me, but I thought I made it very clear that you boys weren't allowed to say good night to each other!"
"Snow, d-did you hear that?"
"If I denied it, would you believe me?"
"No!"
"Well, then of course I heard it!"
"What are the chances of this stopping?" asked Sazh.
"I say we should just count our blessings and get some rest while things are still normal."
It continued to stay normal for a good thirty minutes. Sazh and Snow were beginning to drift off into their individual dream lands. Things were looking up for them. That is, until Sazh felt something pushing against his shoulder.
"Snow? Is that you? I thought you were sleeping on the floor."
Snow groggily lifted up his head and replied, "What are you talking about? I'm still on the floor."
Snow's discouraging words made Sazh's eyes widen in fear.
"If it wasn't you, then do you think it was lint? Lightning did say something about gravitational forces doing something to lint specifically."
"It's gotta be lint Sazh. Just don't worry about it."
"That's a good idea. I'ma try to get more sleep."
A few minutes later, Snow felt something tugging at his feet.
"Hey man, can you quit doing that?"
There was no reply.
"I'm serious Sazh. You may be awake, but I'm trying to get some sleep."
There was still no reply.
Annoyed, Snow finally opened his eyes to see the horror before him. The dark portal had reopened and there were many figures waiting inside. Looking at his feet, he saw a pair of transparent hands dragging him to his doom.
"Come on Snow. It's better in here. We're waiting for you."
Snow tried to scramble to his feet, but all that did was accelerate his body towards the portal. He did the next best thing and clawed at the carpet with all of his might. To his disappointment, he found that his body was already halfway through the portal.
'This is it.' he thought. 'I'm going to be stuck in the other side forever!'
As luck would have it, he caught hold of the wall.
'I still have a chance?'
Using the brute force of his upper body, Snow dragged himself out of the portal. It wasn't easy. He could feel thousands of tiny hands trying to hold him back. The figures in the portal were crying for him to stay. "Snow, why are you leaving? You just got here!" they cried. He paid them no mind. His mission was freedom and that's exactly what he got.
Once he was free, the portal instantly closed. Panting heavily, Snow slowly rose to his feet. "Sazh, did you see that?"
"Believe me Snow. I saw everything."
Before Snow was dragged to that portal, Sazh was abruptly taken from the bed and slammed against the wall. His body started to hover upwards until he was positioned evenly in a corner of the ceiling. Slowly he felt his eyes widening. Almost too wide he thought. It felt as if someone fastened hooks underneath his eyelids and tugged at them to the extreme. With his eyes unable to close, Sazh witnessed everything that happened to Snow.
"You sound like you're in a corner Sazh. Where are you?"
"Look up."
Following orders, Snow indeed looked up to see Sazh's predicament.
"How'd your eyelids get peeled back Sazh? And how are you hovering? !"
"If I knew how this was happening, I'd tell you."
"Oh, okay. Good night then."
"What? You're just going to leave me here?"
"Well how am I supposed to get you down? Hmm?"
Sazh could not reply. Maybe it was due to his inability to blink. The world may never know.
"I thought so. Now like I said before, good night."
At the mention of good night, Sazh's body was strewn across the room and fell harshly to the bed. Once his body made contact with the bed, the invisible hooks in his eyelids were magically removed.
"Problem solved…"
"Yeah…"
"Sazh, Snow, do you think I'm done?"
"It's just the pipes Snow. Don't worry about it."
"Yeah, Lightning said if our specific names were called out that it was just the pipes."
"I'll show you pipes!"
All of a sudden the pipes in the walls broke free and were aimed directly at Sazh and Snow.
"Oh Etro." they said in unison. Shortly after, the pipes came to life with a flood of freezing cold water and drenched both Sazh and Snow. The pipes didn't let up. Cubes of ice were also shot at them. It was like a hail storm. As time passed, the current of water and ice began to slow until, finally, it just stopped all together. In a quick flash, the pipes were pulled back into their original place and they could see the walls repair themselves and the water recede from the room. The room looked as if nothing had happened.
Bruised and battered Sazh and Snow held onto each other and cried. They cried and cried until the sun rose.
End Flashback
"Why'd you make me remember that Snow?"
"I don't know why either. That was a horrible memory!"
"I'm surprised we didn't get hyperthermia or at the very least pneumonia. It was all because of that stupid offering table."
"Can't we blame Lightning for this? I mean, she didn't tell us about the offering table or even the ghosts. She tried to pass it off as normal occurrences actually."
"Lightning can never be in the wrong."
"Yeah, I know. It was ridiculous of me to even try."
"So, Snow, what does this dark portal toy do anyway?"
"Well let's see what it says."
In the event that you are lost in the secret aisles, please press the shiny white button to be teleported to the cash registers.
"That just seems handy! We should try it Sazh."
"I'll try anything as long as it gets us out of here. "
With the okay from Sazh, Snow held onto one of Sazh's arms and pushed the shiny white button. They were instantly teleported to the cashiers just as the toy advertised.
"Gee, I wonder if you can you this at home as a shortcut to the toy store." Snow thought aloud.
For in store use only.
"Aw shucks."
-Lightning Aisle 17 Guns and Projectiles-
Lightning knew exactly what she wanted from the moment Fang suggested they play war. She wanted a gunblade. First she took a trip to the rope and fishing rods aisle where she nabbed herself some rope. Then her feet led her to the sharp objects aisle where she picked herself up a good lookin' sword. And here she is now, in the guns and projectiles aisle assembling her freshly picked toy gun of choice and the previously chosen sword while sitting on the floor.
Lightning could have easily gone straight to aisle four and picked up a Guardian Corps replica gunblade, but she didn't easily fall for the government's lies. Lasts forever? Hah, as if. Brings world peace? Pssh. Her mom could do that in an hour. Ties your hair in a perfect ponytail? Her mom could also do that. Basically, her mom is awesome and the government isn't.
"Okay, one more loopy here… And another tight squeeze there… And done! I now have something better than a military issued gunblade. This is a Lightning issued gunblade. That sure did take forever though. All that walking and tying loops took like an hour or something. I should go find my friends now. Well, maybe I should find Serah first. After all, dad did sound pretty serious. Now if I know my sister, she'll be hanging around the cute and cuddly toys. I'll just be on the lookout for teddy bears."
A few minutes later Lightning found herself near the teddy bears and board games aisle.
"Or fish tanks…"
In her search for Serah, Lightning came across a peculiar sight. She found her sister, but the situation…
"Lightning, this is exactly what it looks like. Please stop me."
"So you mean to say that you're going to smash that fish bowl on the ground, step on the glass, and then eat the fish?"
"Yes, I probably will if you don't stop me."
"Serah, if you were that hungry you could have just looked for mom and got something to eat from her bag of wonders."
"Trust me Lightning, I'm not hungry."
"Quit fooling around then! Hurry up and find something you want to buy. You have five minutes. Once I find the others, we're heading to the cash register."
"Yes sister, I will stop fooling around and find a toy to buy." said Serah as she put the fish bowl back.
"Alright then, I'll see you at the register."
On her way to find her other friends, Lightning found a misplaced jar of flarp.
"I'll hold onto this just in case Serah can't find a toy in the next couple of minutes."
-Back to Serah-
"Hurry up Serah! Your sister just left. Continue to do what I told you."
"You have no power over me anymore."
"Don't tell me you're going to… put me back."
"There's only one person that I listen to other than artificial intelligence and my parents, Lightning."
"She didn't say that you couldn't do as I command anymore."
"But she did say to quit fooling around. That's exactly what I'm doing with you now."
"That's pretty accurate. I suppose you're going to put me back."
"No. I forgot what aisle I found you in a long time ago. I'm going to put you on this random shelf and let the employees take care of you."
"I could just tell you what aisle I came from. I'm not really comfortable being out of my element and all."
"I don't care. I hope I never see you again. Good-bye."
-Cash Register-
All seven of the children had made it to the front of the store and stood waiting for Mrs. Farron.
"Man Lightning, where's your mom? All of these lanes are packed except for that eight items or less one. If she doesn't make it here soon, we'll be waiting in line forever." said Hope.
"Okay guys, here's the plan. We're going to go over to that eight items or less lane, have a lady scan our items, because it'll probably be a lady, and then just wait for mom." Lightning replied.
"Wow Light, that's pretty smart. I wish I could have come up with something like that." Fang praised.
"No need for flattery. We should head over to that cashier before a line builds. Oh and Serah."
"What is it?"
"Did you find a toy you wanted?"
"No."
"Well, take this flarp then. I found it on the way over here and thought that maybe you'd want it."
"Thanks Light. It really means a lot." 'No it doesn't. I hate this toy. This is probably the same exact one I used to ruin that old person's day. I will forever be haunted."
"Glad I could help."
Once they all made it to the register, they formed a neat line with Fang in the front.
"Here you go cashier lady." said Fang.
"Alrighty, one broken broom."
"No, that's a spear and or lance. I only want that part."
"But you have to pay for the whole thing. It's store policy."
"And store policy also states that I pay for what I get. What I'm getting is a spear and or lance."
"Okay, one spear and or lance it is. Next item please."
"That'll be me!" exclaimed Snow. "It's a pair of fightn' gloves."
"Alright, a pair of gloves and eight marbles."
"No, I said they were fightn' gloves."
"A pair of fightn' gloves it is. Next item."
"Here you go miss." said Vanille.
"Three fishing rods and a rope?"
"Nope. That's a binding rod."
"Of course. Next."
"Here." said Lightning.
"May I ask what this is?"
"It's a gunblade."
"Oh, but the store sells these in aisle four you know."
"It's a Lightning issued gunblade."
"One Lightning issued gunblade it is. Next please."
"Here you go ma'am." said Sazh.
"This is pretty normal. It even only has one price tag on it."
"Yes it does."
"Next please."
"It's a boomerang!" exclaimed Hope. "It's pretty safe too."
"Wow, you must have bought the most normal thing there is."
"Oh that's just how I am."
"You seem like a sweet boy. Next please."
"I have something pretty normal. It's flarp." said Serah.
"Flarp is far from normal! Those things can make old people go deaf you know."
"I know ma'am, I know."
"Well, I hope you're happy with your purchase. In total that'll be-"
"Wait!" exclaimed Mrs. Farron. "I have something to buy as well."
"Oh, one customizable teddy bear left uncustomized. Is that all for today?"
"Yes it is."
"That'll be 100,000 gil."
"That's chump change." said Mrs. Farron. "Here's 200,000, keep the change. Come on children, let's leave I can see my husband waiting in the parking lot."
-1:40pm Farron Household-
The ride back from the toy store was pretty uneventful. Mrs. Farron actually drove the speed limit and only injured one pedestrian. Mr. Farron drove home in silence. He was too chicken to risk another slip up.
Once they got home, everyone filed out of their respective transportation and went inside. From there, Lightning drug out a chest from her room and instructed everyone to put their weapons in it.
"We'll save these for when we play war." said Lightning.
Once all of their weapons were sealed away, a knock was heard on the door. Mrs. Farron opened the door to see the welcomed sights of Mr. and Mrs. Estheim.
"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Estheim. I assume you're here to collect your son."
"Yes we are. Come along Hope, you need to study your quantum physics."
"Alright. Bye guys." said Hope as he waved good-bye to his friends.
Another knock sounded on the door not even two seconds after Hope left.
"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Villiers. I suppose you've come to collect your son."
"Yup, that's right. Come on Snow. There's a big pile of laundry with your name on it."
"Okay. Bye friends." said Snow as he departed.
"Man, everyone's leaving so soon." said Lightning.
"Yeah, about that." started Vanille. "I need to go to the tree house and practice my addition. I had a little wakeup call at the toy store."
"Since Vanille is so horrible at addition, I'm going to help her study. See ya Light. Bye Serah." said Fang as she followed Vanille to the tree house.
"And then there were three." said Mr. Farron.
Another knock could be heard at the door.
"I suppose those are you parents Sazh." said Lightning.
"Yeah, I think so."
Sure enough, when Mrs. Farron opened the door, Sazh's parents were on the other side.
"Quick Sazh, there's only an hour until the next opera showing. We need to leave now."
"I'm going with you guys?"
"Yeah, now hurry up or we'll be late."
"Yeah! Bye Lightning. Bye Serah. See ya Monday."
"Bye Sazh." said Lightning and Serah in unison.
As soon as it was just Lightning and Serah left, Mr. Farron called both of his daughters over.
"Come over here girls, I have something for you. Okay Claire, you're first. You see that bag by the door? There's a pair of blue jeans in there for you. Why don't you go upstairs and try them on."
"Thanks dad. I'll go do that." said Lightning.
Once Lightning was upstairs, Mr. Farron turned his attention to his youngest daughter.
"Now Serah, I had a feeling that once you were at the store you wouldn't know what to buy. Did you get something you liked?"
"No dad."
"Well, when I was at the jean store I got something for you. Something about the Moogle Shakers?"
"That's my favorite band dad!"
"Really? Well it just so happens that I got you their latest album."
"Thanks dad! You're the bestest dad ever!"
"I know. I'll see you around kiddo." said Mr. Farron as he went upstairs to check on Lightning.
"Wow. That was the first time dad ever talked normal to me."
-Lightning's Room-
Lightning was in a bit of a predicament. In the bag there were two pairs of blue jeans. One was a tiny pair of navy blue and the other was a ginormous pair of regular blue jeans.
"Dad did say that he bought me blue jeans. He didn't say anything about navy blue jeans. I guess those are his. Time to put on my new pair of jeans."
Grabbing the ginormous pair of jeans, Lightning went about trying to make them work. On her first attempt, the pants fell straight to the ground.
"I guess that's why they made belts."
Her second attempt was more successful. The pants rose all the way to her chest, but there was still a lot of length past her feet.
"These are a long pair of jeans. Whatever six year old wearing this must be a model. I could just roll them up."
And roll them up she did. To stay she looked ridiculous was an understatement. But this was Lightning Farron. Nothing could ever embarrass her.
"Looks like I'm starting a new trend."
Just then Mr. Farron knocked on the door to check on his daughter.
"Hey Claire, are you done changing?"
"Yeah dad, come on in."
"Let me see how adorable-"
"Do you like 'em dad?"
"What happened to the other pair I bought?"
"Oh I left those in the bag. Those are obviously yours."
"Why would you think that?"
"Well you told me that you bought me a pair of blue jeans. You didn't say anything about navy blue jeans. I concluded that those were yours."
"That makes sense. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, it looks like you're going to start a new trend at school."
"Sure am dad."
"You know, I think it's time for you and Serah to take a nap. I'll go downstairs to tell her. You just go ahead and nap."
"Alright dad."
"See ya later sweetie." said Mr. Farron as he closed the door.
When it was shut he leaned against it in defeat.
'I have to stop this from happening.'
I have no idea what I meant by the word flap. Nothing comes to mind when I say that particular word. Just go with your imaginations. I've also been thinking about accepting cool suggestions. While I have plenty ideas of my own for this story (I'm talkin' lots people) it would be cool to implement some of yours. Hate the idea? Just comment on how much you love/hate this story and be on your merry way. Love the idea? Please send me a pm and then continue to abuse the review button. That is all.