Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or any of its characters...
FFVIII: Forging a Lionheart
Chapter Three: Memories going to Tango, Step Two
By Traingham
Quistis Trepe, permeating with gloom, stalked back and forth in the left most corner of the SeeD graduation ballroom. Adorned in a form sculpting salmon, strapless peplum dress with a skirt that kissed the bottom of her plump thighs, and peep toe heels with ankle straps that accentuated the toned muscles of her long legs, there frankly should not have been a plausible reason for why the lovely, golden haired instructor was unaccompanied by anyone tonight other than her own desire to be left alone. A few of her devoted 'Trepies' had come to understand that firsthand upon working the nerve to ask her hand for a dance, yet there was irony in her spurn, because even in her unwillingness to accept the company of such willing partners, Quistis Trepe was indeed quite lonely. Said loneliness stemmed from her bearing witness to the spectacle that was taking place on the dance floor; Squall Leonhart was dancing a Kashkabald tango with Xu.
The black lion and elite instructor were engaged in a close embrace, which had to be, without a sliver of a doubt in Quistis's mind, a setup of Xu's scheming machinations because Squall never harbored any sort of love for that particular dancing style. The intimacy of the embrace made the newly graduated SeeD uncomfortable to say the least as it required a lot of communication between both partners due to the often immediate need for improvisation in their walk (And Squall was all about communication. Ahem.), especially when the music was as smooth and percussive as the musical piece they were dancing to right now. This forced Squall to maintain uninterrupted eye contact with Xu for the entirety of the dance, something of a feat to say the least.
What might have shocked anyone who knew anything about the two dancers, as far as their ability to relate with others on a regular basis, was their startling compatibility on the floor together. Xu allowed Squall to lead her in the walk uninhibited, complimenting the fast movements of his legs and feet with a phenomenal sense of harmony that gave off the distinct impression that she could read every move he formulated in his mind before he brought them into action with his body. Both dancers were inseparable as they turned together in constant motion, stepping into each other and kicking their feet to the percussive rhythm with the finesse of two people treading upon a fine sheet of ice that could shatter beneath them at any given moment. It was undoubtedly the performance of the evening, even drawing Fuujin inside from the balcony to watch the entire dance without ever bothering to blink. With it all being an orchestration of Xu herself, how could it have turned out any other way?
One person in the audience, however, was not swept up in the awe. Quistis was too busy trying to make sense of why Xu chose, of all things, a tango tonight as opposed to dancing the traditional ballroom waltz. That scheming fox could have easily made a show of the latter all the same, but this wasn't about stealing away an audience, no, there was something much more personal at work here.
"Tango." Quistis spewed the word from her mouth like hot venom. Yes, there was a method to this madness, surely. This tango tonight was only a catalyst for something deeper– perhaps something to do with the past. Tango, after all, did play a part in their past, didn't it? It was around the time they joined those classes that their relationship–all of their relationships, actually–took a peculiar turn...
For those unaware, in the founding days of the Trepies group, when the members were mostly comprised of the founders themselves, there was one other prerequisite for being handed an exclusive membership invitation other than unabashedly praising the core mentality that Quistis Trepe was the undisputed goddess of Balamb Garden, gifted with unrivaled beauty, boundless intelligence, and insurmountable potential by the great Hyne himself. One also had to acknowledge that the one called Squall Leonhart was an absolute parasite, a living, breathing shackle that served one heinous purpose in this life: to hold their goddess back from spreading her wings and pursuing greater heights than others could ever dream of achieving, as was her indisputable birthright.
Squall Leonhart made Quistis Trepe 'human', and that didn't really sit well with her followers for varying reasons; reasons that were all ultimately related in one way or another, as hard pressed as they would be to admit to such selfish shame. Their golden goddess was normally above it all, however, any mention of that introverted worm–any suggestion of that damn kid, whatever the circumstance may be, and the glamour would melt away to reveal Quistis Trepe to the world for the mere mortal girl that she was in actuality. It was always "Squall this" and "Squall that" whenever she was in a particularly open and cheery mood, which was a rarity given her usual disposition. He was simply incapable of committing any wrong doings in her eyes, and whenever she received word of him doing well in anything at all, be it noteworthy or absolutely unremarkable at that, she was there to brag about it to everyone in his stead. Any person brave or stupid enough to speak badly of him in front of her could not hope to walk away without an earful from her end, or, at the very least, a deeply impressionable Kubrick stare that would cause even a fully matured t-rexuar to blanch.
Quistis Trepe did believe that there was no other person in the world that treasured Squall as she did, which brings us back to a particular Thursday afternoon, long ago; in a time when the two garden students enjoyed a far closer relationship than the distant one they share in the present day…
Two Trepies caught Quistis exiting the central elevator onto the main lobby of the garden to engage in small talk, for the sole purpose of basking in her awesome presence, when she spotted a particular thirteen year old boy entering through the front entrance of said lobby with a heavy looking satchel slung over his shoulder. Her immediate take of action upon seeing Squall walk in was to brush off her two devoted fans and approach him; not because he took absolute precedence over everything else in her day (debatable), but because the boy had a dark expression on his face, and he just so happened to be lugging a bag over his shoulder that could have possibly been the root of said expression. It wasn't very difficult to arrive at some of the more unsettling conclusions when regarded with such a scene. Had it been an older person in the same situation, they would have immediately been filed under "shady serial killer".
"Squall!" Quistis stopped the shorter student before he could get past the directory with his mysterious bag of loot. The casually dressed boy of a slightly oversized orange, striped shirt and dark blue jeans seemed to snap out of his dark reverie upon hearing her voice, stopping in his tracks and to look to her with a slightly more relaxed expression, though his double handed death grip around the strap over his right shoulder did not relax in the slightest.
"Yeah?" He asked in the usual unaffected manner that he was so known for, shifting his shoulders to accommodate the weight of his load. He did an admirable job of disguising the steadily growing temptation of resigning himself to his fast approaching bodily limits. Pride was the only thing preventing him from dropping his satchel to the floor and curling up next to it like a beaten soldier. "You need help with something?" His eyes strayed past her shoulder as he asked the question, tipping her off on how impatient he was to get a move on. "Could it wait? This is kind of heavy, so…"
Quistis folded her arms inquisitively and the young Leonhart already knew what was coming before she opened her mouth to grill him. "Where are you just getting back from, and what's in the bag?" Big sister mode activated. "Isn't it about that time?"
Squall turned his head just slightly to roll his eyes at his own discretion; out of respect for her, of course. Had it been someone else he wouldn't have bothered to hide his annoyance. "What time?" He asked in the tone of one who knew the answer, but refused to dignify the inquiry with one.
"Self study in the library." Quistis answered flatly, her glasses glinting dangerously in the light. Cue the involuntary straightening of Squall's upper back. "We agreed on that, remember?"
"This is studying." Squall insisted with a straight face, getting a raise of the brow from his lovely upperclassman. "It's more of the hands on stuff, though." The boy had a talent for saying something that would be considered so obviously suspicious, yet somehow make it sound convincing. He had the making of a professional criminal, this one, or a politician.
"Yeah?" Quistis would play along if it brought her one step closer to finding out what was in the satchel. "And what compelled you to go for the hands on approach?"
"Xu–" Squall began with a poor choice of words.
Quistis's brow twitched at the sound of her best friend's name coming out of his mouth, stopping him mid-answer with a question of, "Xu? Did I hear you correctly, in that Xu played a part in this decision of yours?"
He nodded, matter-of-factly with a casual answer of, "Well, yeah." And that confirmation alone only stirred Quistis's curiosity concerning the contents of his bags for the worst; not that anyone could blame her. The knowledge that Xu was personally related in any Squall's activities without her knowledge left an unsettling sensation in her stomach akin to nausea. It was a special kind of dread, really. The sort of "I left my baby in a cage with a wendigo" kind of dread, you see.
"Oh boy." Quistis held off the overwhelming urge to bite her thumb. It was a horrible habit that she entertained as a child whenever her nerves were strung out, and she wouldn't have any of that anymore. That would be suffering an inner defeat by Xu. "What's in the bag? Tell me, what's in the bag?" She didn't seem very much aware of the way her fingers anxiously tapped away at her bicep or the way her full lips pressed into a perfect line.
While lost on her, those anxieties weren't lost on Squall. "Calm down." And secretly, it made him uncomfortable to see her this way.
"I am calm, okay?" She assured him with the sort of sincerity that most definitely belied otherwise. As such, Squall was not fooled in the slightest. "Just tell me what's in the bag."
"Can we at least take it somewhere private first?" He tossed his chin in the general direction of the northern block where the dormitories were sectioned. He could see Trepies gathering near the benches in front of the library bridge from the corner of his eye. Who knew how many were spying on them from the second level above their heads. "Our dorm room, maybe?"
His request for privacy tied a knot in Quistis's stomach, but the rational voice in her mind reasoned that objecting to the request would not grant her the answers she was pursuing. "Fine." So she made a respectable show of self control, following her dorm mate back to their room without making a spectacle of tearing the satchel from his shoulder before he could do the honor of opening it himself. When they were inside and she had the door locked behind their backs, Squall opened up the satchel atop of the table as promised. Seeing what spilled out, she wasn't sure whether to settle on relief or outright vexation at her inability to immediately connect the dots as they were laid out for her.
"Claws..." Quistis stepped up to the table for a better look at the severed appendages protruding from the open lips of the bag. The sand and dust that still clung to the claw already informed her of many things off the bat, but it was the size and natural patterns on the claw that tipped her off on its previous owner. "Geezard claws?" She reached in to pull out one of the claws and brought it into the light for a proper examination, studying the shape, size, and color of the pattern, and pressing her thumbs into the shell to check its pliancy. "Adolescent geezard claws?"
It was common knowledge that Quistis was considered something of a prodigy in the garden, but that didn't keep Squall from being impressed by her quick hands on analysis. "Xu said you'd know that."
Ignoring that comment, Quistis set the claw back down on the table and turned on him again. "You were in the Dollet region hunting geezards?" Her eyes narrowed, unable to make sense of the decision. When her deductive skills lead to no logical conclusion–wait, no, there was one conclusion, but she didn't think it made much sense. Then again, this whole situation didn't make much sense. "...You're going to have a custom gunblade made for yourself?"
Squall edged back with a blink, impressed yet again. "Xu said you'd figure that out, too."
"Right," She let it go the first time, but now it just bothered her, "Since you keep mentioning Xu, why don't you tell me when the two of you hanging out became a thing." She found comfort before in knowing that Xu made Squall feel uncomfortable whenever the three of them were together, but this unexpected development was proof that that wasn't so much the case anymore. It wasn't jealousy that she felt at that moment. Of course not.
...Okay, maybe.
"We're not hanging out." Squall denied, taking that moment to walk to the kitchenette and pull a glass out of one of the overhanging cabinets. He paused to look over at her before shutting the cabinet door closed. "Are you thirsty?"
"I'll take water." Quistis replied, taking her seat at the table. She turned in her seat to bend over and undo the laces of her shoes before slipping them off with a quiet sigh of relief. "Well, I'm assuming that you didn't take the train all the way to Dollet alone."
"She went with me, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten permission to leave the campus grounds." Squall set both glasses down on the kitchen counter before opening the fridge to reach in and fetch the pitcher of water. "That doesn't mean we're hanging..." He trailed off, drawing Quistis's attention back to him when she realized that he stopped talking.
Something about the way he just remained unmoving with his hand still outstretched into the refrigerator felt wrong to her. It sort of gave the false impression that there was something within the electric appliance holding him by the wrist and unwilling to let to. "What's the matter?"
A moment after receiving the question Squall finally pulled his hand out of the fridge, sans the pitcher, and grasped it tightly with his other hand, flexing his digits around it uncomfortably. "You might want to try serving yourself juice instead." He suggested, staring into the fridge like something was inside staring back.
Never one for suspense, Quistis stood from her seat and walked up to stand beside him, following his line of sight to what should have been a glass pitcher of water sitting on the mid level rack inside the fridge. Bizarrely, there was a frosted white pitcher filled with solid ice. The question that came to mind now wasn't so much the "How" as it was the "Why", because she already knew who was responsible for it; Not that many people were privy to 'her' symbiotic bond with Squall.
"Shiva did this, didn't she?" Quistis questioned Squall in the best controlled voice she could manage, emotions stirred by the look of unguarded shock on his face. This clearly wasn't meant to be taken in good humor. "Why would she? She's never done anything to hurt you before, has she?" When Squall didn't offer an immediate answer she placed a hand on his cheek to get his attention, repeating herself. "Squall, has she?"
Brought out of his stupor, the boy cleared his throat. "What?"
"Is this the first time Shiva has ever done this?" Quistis stared deep into his blue eyes, waiting for the lie to reveal itself to her, but they were closed to her, as solid as ever. "If she hasn't done it before, why is she doing it now?"
"I'm not talking to her right now." Squall confessed. "She wants an apology for an argument we got into a while back, but I won't give her that satisfaction. She's probably trying to get my attention since I've been ignoring her for so long."
"How long has it been?" The boy barely spoke a word even when he wasn't giving the silent treatment to anyone.
"...A month." Squall replied after a pause, then adding on sheepishly, "Maybe longer. I forget."
"More than a month?" The older girl said incredulously. Only Squall Leonhart could have a higher being residing within him, with a direct hotline to his mind, and find a way to ignore her without going absolutely mad from the prolonged strain. "What were you two arguing about? It had to be serious if you're both taking it this far."
"It was nothing, really." Squall answered her dismissively. "Just something stupid–AH!" He brought a hand to his forehead as if he'd been struck with a sudden sharp pain, getting a flinch out of his room mate. Seeing him react that way, just as surprised by it as she was, made Quistis's temper rise dangerously close to physically manifesting itself.
"The hell was that?" Quistis nearly growled. "What the fuck did she just do?" The blond SeeD cadet looked just about ready to tear the ice deity directly from his body with her bare hands even if the powers that be forbade her from doing so.
"Huh?" Squall dropped his hand from his forehead, responding as though her words had not reached him. "I'm going to head to the library to look up something. Its important." He moved away from her as if it was his every intention to vanish in a wisp of smoke before her very eyes, making his way to the door as quickly as his legs could carry him without knocking anything over. "I'll be back before four, the latest." He pressed the button to open the door and stepped out.
"Squall, don't do this to me." Quistis nearly pleaded with him, her anger steadily mounting at his attempt to escape from her. Why couldn't he place his faith in her? "Don't just step out like you can handle this alone when you know that I'd gladly help you!"
The door closed shut, and Squall made long strides across the hall to place as much distance between his back and the door before Quistis could let out one final, shrill cry of his name from the other side of it. When the cry did come, the distance didn't make him feel any less guilty for leaving her behind the way he did. The stares that passed judgement upon him from the witnesses he strode past on the way out did nothing to ease his conflicted mind, nor did the nagging suspicion that perhaps Shiva had foreseen this outcome when she froze the pitcher using his very own hand to make a point. He prayed that his guardian's grudge would not hold much further; he did not have many friends to speak of.
Quistis didn't await Squall's return, instead paying a visit to her good friend Xu to clear her head before her emotions could overrule her better judgement. A few knocks on Xu's door and the short haired brunette approached to answer, dressed in a black tank top and matching boy shorts that cut an impressive, athletic figure for a girl of fourteen years (Though, arguably, most of the seasoned students were at the peak of fitness). It almost made Quistis a little self conscious about skipping off on her physical training for the occasional stargazing at the quad. Almost.
"You normally greet a visitor dressed like that?" Still, Quistis couldn't help feeling that Xu was a natural show off.
Xu smiled innocently. "It is you, after all, Quisty." She replied casually. "It's not like I have to worry about you ravaging me." She grinned playfully. "Unless you're getting ide–"
"Don't sound so hopeful." The blonde cadet quipped before quirking a brow. "Can I come in? Just wanna talk a bit."
"Of course." Xu stepped aside to let her in.
"Thanks." Quistis stepped in, looking to the second bedroom door of the dorm as Xu closed the door behind her. It still looked to be vacant. "You still haven't gotten a room mate yet, huh?" She made small talk to work her way into the real heart of the matter.
"No one ever sticks it out." Xu replied with a shrug. "I've had twelve other students move in already, but they always request a transfer after the first or second week. I think the rooming department has already given up on moving anyone else in at this point."
Quistis plopped down on a brown, leather three seat couch set up against the wall. "You intimidate them." She humored Xu, reaching down to remove her shoes so she could curl her legs on the couch cushion. "Although I get the feeling you prefer it that way."
Xu chuckled at the accusation, curling up on the cushion in the opposite corner of the couch with her arms spread along the back rest. "You know me too well, Quisty. I'm just hoping that you'll eventually come around and become my roomie."
"I don't know..." The other SeeD cadet shifted uncomfortably. "Leaving Squall by himself wouldn't feel right." He would be left at the mercy of Shiva, at least until they moved in another student, but somehow that didn't lighten the worry on her mind. The boy had an unusual tendency to rub everyone the wrong way regardless of the nature of his intentions.
Xu didn't take it the wrong way, waving her hand back and forth. "That's fine. I'd be more than happy to take Squall instead." She derived pleasure from the split second of unchecked jealousy that briefly appeared on the other girl's face. "What's the matter?"
"Squall came back this afternoon with a bag of claws." Quistis informed Xu with probing eyes. "Adolescent geezard claws."
"Do tell." Xu remarked, doing a fine job of looking interested in what her friend had to say.
"Has Squall expressed any particular interests to you, Xu?" Quistis inquired, eyes still probing. "See, at the adolescent stage of development a geezard's claws still hasn't completely hardened, making it possible to mold into other shapes. Professional craftsman are able to take those claws and roll them into wires that can then be made into screws, which are, most often than not, used in the assembly of a gunblade due to their extreme durability. They're able to withstand the recoils of an expertly wielded gunblade more effectively than regular screws, which is also the reason why the best quality revolvers come from shops in and around the Dollet region. The plains and beaches are rife with those critters." She saw the glimmer of amusement in Xu's eyes and smirked at the sly cadet with a question of, "See where I'm going with this?"
Clasping her hands together, Xu smiled. "I absolutely adore you, Quisty. I just get shivers whenever you come to your deductions like that."
Quistis was impervious to her obvious flattery. "Let's not lose sight here."
"Fine, fine." The other girl laughed. "You've probably worked it out in that brilliant mind of yours already, but Squall has expressed an interest in becoming a gunblade specialist." She looked aside briefly, adding, "To me, of course."
"Oh." The blonde cadet feigned surprise with a widening of her eyes and pucker of her lips. It fell away for the illusion it was, a sardonic curl coming to her lips as her eyes narrowed slightly. "How did that come about? Squall confiding in you is, well, odd isn't it?"
"Squall confiding in anyone would be considered odd." Xu jabbed back nonchalantly, knowing very well that her friend would not like to hear it.
Quistis took the punch gracefully. "Yeah, alright." She clicked her tongue. "It still makes me wonder why he would express that interest to you instead of, say, an instructor."
"I'm persuasive." Xu replied simply, cocking her head with a hold up of both hands, like the sly fox that she was. "I just spoke to him when the moment was right. At the end of the day he's still just a boy after all."
Quistis jumped to question the suspicious response. "What did you say?"
"I told him he was weak." Xu took a moment of pause to study her friend's expression. It was stoic now, emotions kept in check. "Ah, so you'll want me to explain then. Very good. See, Squall's sole motive on this garden seems to be keeping out of sight and mind, and if that doesn't work he practices the art of aversion. You want this, he wants that; you favor vanilla, he much rather prefers chocolate; what you love he's is sure to hate, so that you'll want nothing to do with him."
"So you call him weak." Quistis inclined her head toward her questioningly. "...And what?"
"Well, weakness is a cause for worry, isn't it?" Xu answered. "Squall doesn't like to worry others," She pointed a finger to Quistis, holding it there, "You in particular, Quisty, because he loves you more than others. He loves you more than he'll ever love me." She added on at the end coyly, "If he ever will come to love me, of course. He'll burden me only because I'm nothing to him."
Quistis averted her eyes, looking very conflicted. "Dammit..." She cursed under her breath.
"Did something happen?" Xu inquired, as a friend that is.
Quistis waved away her prying concern. "There's no need."
"Well, I'd hate to think that you only came here to grill me." Xu chose the guilt route. "That would hurt my feelings."
"Don't, Xu." The other girl held up a hand. "Show me more respect than that, at least."
"I'm being nice." She retorted tersely. "I forgot that you didn't care much for pleasantries. I'll just get to it then. Did Squall touch anything to drink when you two met earlier?"
Quistis didn't answer immediately, eying Xu. "That's an odd thing to ask." She finally spoke after a short swallow.
"I know. It's just that after the workout he went through in Dollet, hunting geezards, I figured he would have appreciated a drink, and I offered him more than once, but he kept himself guarded from my offers. He wouldn't even accept a bottle of water from me, you see."
"No, he didn't stop to drink anything at all."
"No?" Xu didn't appear very convinced by her answer.
"Calling me a liar?" Quistis matched a verbal rapier with the other cadet. The ensuing stare down was brief, but intense. Deep in the maw of space Adel felt a strange chill creep up the nape of her neck, and for a moment all of the on deck personnel of the lunar base were running around in mass hysteria until the alarms abruptly went off. Esthar would know peace for another day, but for how long?
Back on Earth, Xu was the first to relent, offering Quistis a friendly smile. "Not at all. I'd be a fool to even let the thought cross my mind."
To Be Continued...