I do not own anything but the plot and Ethan. Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight characters, settings, and plot. If this story resembles anyone or anything in real life it is simply a coincidence.

Anyways thanks for reading.

E POV

Chapter 2

As I watch Bella walk out of my apartment I fear that I'm watching her walk out of my life. I want to run after her but I am unable to move from my position on the couch. I understand that I've hurt Bella with my stupidity. I sit there and I can't help thinking back to the day I first met Bella. We lived in a small town therefore everyone knew everything about everyone, so it was no secret that the Swan family had moved in during the summer. Everyone knew that Bella's father moved his family after being offered the position as the Chief of Medicine at Forks General Hospital.

When the first day of school rolled around everyone was up in a tizzy to meet the daughter of Dr. Swan since no one had seen her since her family moved to Forks.

As I walked into my first class of the day I quickly looked around the classroom for an empty seat. After a quick glance I noticed a girl that I had never seen before. I assumed that she had to be the illusive, Isabella Swan, I had to admit that she stunned me a little bit because she didn't look like all the other girls here. She was obviously a full figured girl, which reminded me of the models from the 50s. She was sitting at the very back and was successfully ignoring everyone else in the room. She had on a t-shirt that said, "9 in the afternoon" and I chuckled a little at the quote and doubted anyone else in the room could appreciate the quote. Even though there were various other empty seats in the classroom I chose the one next to her. I sat down and she did not acknowledge my presence so I decided to introduce myself and when she looked at me for the first time I was confronted with the most beautiful pair eyes I've ever encountered. They were dark brown and sparkled in the fluorescent lights and I could only imagine how beautiful they would look in the sun. They were soulful and I firmly believed that if she wanted to unleash their full force on someone; they would not be able to resist anything she asked for because her eyes would just seduce them into fulfilling her request without an ounce of hesitation. I shook myself out of the trance that her eyes had thrown me into and I pointed to her t-shirt and I commented on how I loved Panic at the Disco. We ended up talk all through first period.

It did not take long for Bella and I to become inseparable after that. We would drive together to school, sleep over at each other's houses, and our families would vacation together. Shortly after I met Bella I fell in love with her but being the idiot I am, I let the fear of us not working out and losing the best friend I had ever had stop me from ever telling her how I felt. I was not the only one that thought Bella was attractive in fact she quickly became the star of a lot of the guy's fantasies. But being the possessive asshole I am I quickly threatened any guy that thought about asking her out. I couldn't risk the chance that someone would ask her out and she would forever be lost to me.

The years passed and we went off to college together. I tried to date girls who were the complete opposite to Bella in hopes of getting rid of my feelings for her. I would tell Bella about other girls just to see if I could get anything out of her. But she never gave any indication that she was jealous or that she wanted me. Bella was insanely smart and it was one of the major reasons why I loved her. She was not afraid to prove me wrong or state her opinion. When people gave her shit for specializing in human sexuality she would coolly proceed to put them in their place. Not only was Bella smart but she had a body that made me want to weep, she has curves in all the right places. She often said she was fat but I did not agree and I would always told her that she was perfect the way she was. Also Bella had the most kissable lips and her eyes to this day bring me to my knees. I never dated anyone for long because I just couldn't stop my feelings for Bella. Every single day I fell for her more and nothing I did could change my feeling towards her. The only times I was able to show Bella how much I loved her were the times when we turned to each other for sexual gratification. She always rationalized it saying that it was safer for both of us if we used each other instead of having random one-night stands. I made her believe that I agreed but I used these instances to say with my body what I could not say with my mouth.

Sure Bella dated it was not like I could stop it from happening, no matter how much I wanted to. I hated every single one of the guys she dated and I was always relieved when she would break up with them but I knew it would only be a matter of time before she found someone else. She had recently started dating more thanks to the help of Alice and Rosalie and I was going crazy with each date that showed up at her door. Thankfully they were all losers but I knew one day the guy would not be a loser and she would fall for him. So when I walked into the café that was located around the corner of our apartment building and I saw Bella laughing with some guy my heart dropped to my stomach. I walked up to them and it actually took Bella a minute to notice I was there. She introduced me to Ethan and he promptly left but not before giving Bella his number and asking her to call him to if she wanted to get together. Throughout the brunch I was upset and I was very short with Bella, she didn't pry about what was going on with me. After brunch I went to my apartment instead of hanging out with Bella as was customary after brunch. I spent the rest of the week avoiding Bella; I just couldn't face her because I felt like she would be able to see how much I loved her the moment she looked into my eyes. But I knew I would have to face her eventually.

After five days of avoiding Bella, she came into my apartment and she told me she had made my favorite dinner and she invited me over to her place. I told her that I was not hungry and she snapped at me yelling, "What is going on with you?"

I couldn't control myself and I shouted, "You want to know what's going on with me?"

She looked at me with hurt in her eyes and she shouted, "Yes! I just don't get why you are all pissy and avoiding me!"

I knew I had no reason to be mad since I tried my hardest to hide my feelings therefore there was no way Bella could figure out what seeing her with Ethan did to me. But today I just couldn't stop myself and I shouted, "You don't why? Well how do you think I felt when I saw you at our table, with some guy you just met, laughing with him."

A confuse look comes across her beautiful and she says, "Huh? Why does that bother you? It's not like we are dating. I'm free to talk to whoever I want!"

"Well Bella, if you must know it bothers me because I am so incredibly consumed by jealousy that I want to punch any guy that looks at you. Bella it bothers me because I am so in love with you that it hurts! And I have been for a long time!" I know I shouldn't have told her I loved her for the first time the way I did but when she said that I got angry because I knew that I had no claim to her and that pissed me off because I wanted claim Bella as mine. I knew I had to explain to her my behavior and I knew the only way to do that was to tell her my feelings.

A surprised Bella shouted, "You're in love with me!"

I look down at the floor and whispered, "Yes."

"What the hell, Edward! Why now? We have been friends for years! You never gave any indication that you felt for me anything besides a brotherly affection. Hell, you constantly talk about other girls and go out on dates. Since we have been friends you have always talked about the girls you found pretty. Every single time you commented on how you were a sucker for a pretty face, colored eyes, and a small waist! All things that I am not! So how the fuck was I suppose to know that you saw me, as more or that you could be attracted to me! All you ever made me feel like was your friend that let you fool around with her when we were horny. So do not get upset over the fact that I was talking to another man! You never stepped up. So why now?" Her response was not one that I expected. I knew I was crazy to hope that she would tell me she loved me. But it did not stop me from hoping.

"I don't know why now? Maybe it's all the attention you have been getting from guys lately. It made me realize that I wanted more." I knew I was lying but I couldn't tell her that it was because I was a coward and didn't want to risk losing her. She sat down next to me on the couch and neither of us said a word for long time.

After a while Bella broke the silence and asked, "Why now?"

"What?" I asked.

She turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Why am I good enough to date now, Edward? Because you spent years making sure I understood that I was not the girl for you. That I was not what you were into! You talked about girls that were the total opposite of me! You dated girls that were the total opposite of me. Hell when we were in high school practically the whole school knew that I liked you and you never saw it! Is it because I'm thinner now? Is that it? I am I now good enough for the great Edward Cullen because now I look like I could belong with you?"

"What? No, Bella, no. I've always loved your body and I have told you many times that your perfect just the way you are." I was shocked that she could think that. "I think I've always been into you but I was too stupid to do anything about it. Bella, I was the quarterback and I felt like I had to date the prettiest girl in school and I let myself be peer pressured into dating Lauren Mallory." Again I lied to her, she was the prettiest girl in school but I couldn't let her know that I was such a coward, that I let my fear of losing her keep me from letting my feeling known. I did not date Lauren Mallory because I was pressured into it. I dated her because I wanted to keep my heart safe. I knew with Bella there was chance we would not work out and if she left me I would die of a broken heart so I turned to Lauren as a way to keep myself from getting hurt.

"Fine that's your excuse for high school, but what about college or the last 10 years! What was the reason for not telling me then?" She asked.

"I don't know, Bella!" I knew I had to tell her, she wasn't going to let it go and if I wanted to ever have a chance make her mine I would have to come clean. " I was a coward and I did not want to lose what we had but then you started dating and got scared I was going to lose you anyways that I finally admitted to myself that I could not hide my feeling anymore. Seeing you with Ethan pushed me over the edge."

"So you wanted me only after you saw that another men wanted me? Really, Edward? I'm not some toy you can have just so no one else can have it! I can't even look at you right now. I have to go. Goodbye…" She said as she walked out of my apartment. I sat on my couch and I thought back at the conversation that just took place and I noticed that Bella never said she loved me back. I know she had feelings for me but I do not know if she loved me. I found myself hoping that if she didn't love me that I hadn't ruined my chances of getting her to love me. I started to think of how I could fix this when I heard Bella's front door slam. I looked out my peephole and I saw she had her purse and an overnight bag. I assumed she was she going to spend the night with Rosalie. I walked over to my window and I watched her get into a cab. I decided to let her cool off and make plans to talk to her tomorrow when she got home.

I got into bed but I was unable to go to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what I was going to say Bella. My thoughts were everywhere that I do the only thing that I knew to do which was to write so I went to my office and I pull out a piece of paper and I began to write Bella a letter. I wrote out all my feeling for her. I told her how she captivated me when we first met. And how I could get lost in her expressive eyes. I told her how sorry I was for being a coward. I told her that if she would let me I would spend the rest of our lives making it up to her. I begged her to let me show her how much I love her. I told her how I have imagined what our lives together would be like. That I imagined what it would be like to have kids with her. How I imagined that they would have her hair and my eyes. I told her that I want to be able to call her mine and grow old together. I wrote until I could barely keep my eyes open. I moved over to the couch in my office and lay down.

When I woke up I was confused as I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Slowly it all came back to me, Ethan, the fight, Bella leaving, and me writing the letter. I look at the time and I see that is well past midday so I decide to get ready for when Bella came home. Whenever she would spend the night with Rosalie or Alice she is always came back home in the early afternoon. After a shower I go over my letter and I add that she should come over when she is done reading it so that we can talk. And I put it in an envelope and I tape it to her door so it will be the first thing she sees. I want her to read it and have time to think before she comes over.

As the time passes I begin to get increasingly worried. It is now 9pm and she has yet to return home. I call her but phone goes to voicemail. By 11:30 pm I can't take it anymore so I call Rosalie, "Hello"

"Rosalie, it's Edward. I was wondering if you knew were Bella is. She left last night after a fight we had and she hasn't returned home since." I said.

"Look Edward, I talked to Bella last night and she told me to tell you if you asked that she was leaving for two weeks. That she needs time and if you want to talk then you guys could talk then. " Rosalie said. I did not know what to think Bella was gone.

"Where did she go?" I asked already deciding that I would follow her anywhere. I let her go once and I was not going to let it happen again.

"She told me not tell you. Just that she would be back in two weeks and you guys could talk then if that was what you wanted." Rosalie responded. My plans to follow her were quickly thwarted since I had no way of figuring out where she went.

"Oh okay. Goodbye, Rosalie." I said before I ended the call. I knew it was rude but I could not find it in me to care. The only thing I could think about was the fact that Bella was gone and although it wasn't permanent it was still devastating to me.

The next two weeks were pure torture. At first I tried to go about my daily life but I was just useless. The uncertainty of what would happen when Bella returned scared the hell out of me and it did not let me do anything. After the third day without Bella I decided to take some time off of work. I took 3 weeks vacation with the hope that when Bella returned everything would work out and we could spend sometime together trying to form a relationship.

Rosalie stopped by the first day to pick up Bella's mail and water her plants but I told her that I would do it from now on. Everyday I would just spend the day around my house thinking of Bella and writing down my feelings. I had started a diary of sorts and in it I was able to sort out my feelings. By the end of the first week I could no longer stay in my apartment so I kind of moved into Bella's. I slept on her couch. I knew it was crazy but being able to feel her presence made being without her a little bit more bearable. While I stayed in her apartment I imagined what it would be like to live with Bella. I couldn't stop myself from hoping that she would love me back and that she would want to give us a try.

By the end of the two weeks I could not wait any longer I knew Bella would be home soon. I was lying on her couch writing in my diary when I heard the door open. I quickly go up and came face to face with Bella. She looked as beautiful as ever. I couldn't control myself and I walked up to her and I pulled her into my arms and I kissed her with as much passion as I could muster. I had to make pour all my love into this kiss to make sure she knew just how much I loved her. At first she just stood there but after a second she started to respond to the kiss. I walked us backward until we hit the couch and I pulled her down with me. She straddled my lap and I moaned at the feeling of her in my arms. I allowed her to breath as a I moved my lips from her mouth to her ear and I whispered, "I love you, Bella, so much. Please let us have a chance. You're my life."

She moved back a little and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "I love you too, Edward. I've loved you for years. And I'm willing to give us a try." She said and my heart just about exploded. I smiled at her and I kissed her again. Bella loved me and she wanted to try and give us a chance. At the moment I was the happiest bastard alive. I couldn't stop hugging and kissing Bella. After a while she stood up and held her hand out for me and said, "Lets go to bed. We have had a hard couple of weeks and I'm sure we need some sleep." I stood up followed her to her bedroom. We both stood in front of each other and we stripped to our underwear and we got into bed. I pulled Bella to me and I said, "Goodnight Bella, I love you."

"I love you too, Edward. Sweet dreams" Bella said and I fell into the best sleep I had ever had.

So what do you guys think?

Please leave me any comments you guys have. I know there are some mistakes in there, I don't have a Beta.

Also I made some minor changes in the first chapter and I will most likely continue to tweak things along the way as the story progresses.