I sat at the table, trying to write a note as quickly as I could. I had already written a flowery letter to Sansa, trying to put her mind at ease. I knew my brother had written to her, but I could only imagine that he spent an inordinate amount of time on the battles and things that would concern her more than calm her.
The letter that was causing me such trouble, however, was the one I was trying to write to Theon. It was highly unlikely he had yet arrived in the Iron Islands, but I planned to send a raven anyway. For some reason, I was simply praying that letters would be enough to quell what I had seen. He wouldn't take Winterfell. This was Theon we were talking about; he was family. And yet, I could not shake the feeling that I had to do everything I could to make him come back.
"Whom are you writing to?" Robb asked, running his hands down my arms and kissing my neck.
When he looked at my paper, all he saw was the statement: Please do not do anything foolish. Robb raised an eyebrow. Shaking my head, I gave him a shrug in reply.
"Theon?" he asked.
"Who else?"
"What are you so concerned about?" Robb asked in a teasing tone.
When I didn't immediately chuckle, his expression grew a little more serious.
"What did you see?" he pressed.
"That Theon does not come back to us." It wasn't the entire truth, but it was true enough.
"You saw him choosing his family over us?"
I nodded slowly, "I did."
"Ana," he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Why do you hide things from me? I am so tired of secrets. I have enough to think about, guessing at what the Lannisters are doing or the Baratheons, without having to question whether or not my wife is telling me everything."
"Would it have stopped you? You trust Theon."
"And do you not trust him now?"
"I hope that I am wrong, or that something has happened to change him, but I cannot know that. And, I have seen things change before, moments not happening quite as I envisioned them, so I pray I am wrong," I explained, staring down at the paper to avoid his heated stare.
"So to help convince him, you write him a letter to tell him not to be a fool?"
I looked up at Robb, who was grinning at me to my surprise.
"Very wise," he teased.
I felt the smile creep onto my lips. "Well, perhaps you would prefer to add something then?"
"Not at the moment," Robb answered, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet. I was unable to contain a happy giggle when he wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me flush against his body.
My heart was already racing as I smiled into the kiss. Even in the midst of everything, Robb had some amazing ability to look at me and make me feel like I was falling in love again.
He began to pull at the ties on my dress as I stripped his shirt from him. Running my hands down his chest, my fears began to disappear from my thoughts. He sucked on my lower lip and slowly massaged me underneath my smallclothes. At that moment, all of my worries were forgotten as I moaned into his kiss.
I sat back on the table and untied his breeches, letting his clothes fall to the floor. Lying back, Robb leaned over, cupping my face with one hand while the other slid slowly down my body, stopping on my hip as he pushed inside of me. Each thrust pushed me closer and closer to my limit. I could tell Robb was about to pull out to protect us against having children, but that night, I just wanted to feel as close to him as possible.
"Robb," I whispered. "It's okay."
He smiled softly and kissed me again as he kept going, finding his release a few moments after mine. Breathing hard, he dropped his head onto my chest. I worked to find my breath again as well while I ran a hand through his auburn hair.
"I love you," I added, kissing the top of his head.
"I love you too," Robb replied, turning his head to kiss my chest.
I giggled, "Your beard is tickling me."
Robb moved his head from side to side, teasing me while I laughed. Getting to his feet, Robb took my hand to help me sit up, still on the table. Robb put his hands on either side of my legs, bending down eye-level with me with a wide smile on his face. I returned it, biting my lip just slightly to keep myself from smiling so widely.
"You don't need to do that," he stated, kissing me quickly. "Stopping yourself from smiling so much." I leaned in almost as soon as he had pulled away to catch his lips again.
"Maybe we should stay here for the rest of tonight and tomorrow?" he asked.
I breathed out a sigh, "Gods, I wish." I wanted nothing more than to be home with him and the rest of our family. "Sometimes, I wonder if I truly remember Winterfell, or if I simply have built it up in my mind."
Robb's expression softened and when I looked into his eyes, I saw his guilt. "I am so sorry for all of this."
"You have done nothing wrong, Robb."
"You would not be in this situation if it were not for me."
"Robb," I cupped his face to make sure he would look into my eyes. "I love you. Whatever happens, you have to know that I would rather have a year with you than to a lifetime with anyone else."
His blue eyes grew wider as his expression brightened. "We will have a lifetime together," he promised.
"I know," I replied honestly with determination.
We did not sleep much that night and were up well before dawn to meet one of the holdouts of the Lannister men. There were still several bands within the Riverlands, and this was one of the smaller groups. It seemed like a good start for my first battle.
"Ana," Will called, seeing me walk towards where our horses were stationed.
"Hi," I replied, my voice a little higher than usual.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I insisted. I could feel my brother's doubtful stare on my back while I maintained a quick pace towards the makeshift stables. I had managed to keep my mind off of the impending fight while I was with Robb, but now, my stomach was beginning to twist with nerves.
"You can choose not to go," Will pointed out.
I shot a dark look back at him.
"Oh forgive me, my queen," he returned with an overly flowery tone.
"I'm sorry, Will."
"Ana, I will be there every step of the way. The first battle is always the most frightening."
"Were you afraid?"
"No," Will laughed. "I am exceptionally brave."
I chuckled and shook my head, reaching my horse. Chimera stood proud, picking up his feet as he saw me near.
"I am pleased someone is ready," I stated, running a hand along Chimera's neck. He belonged in battle, and as I looked into his big dark eyes, I grinned. I too was ready.
"I will see you at the front," Will added, leaving to go tend to his own horse.
When I led Chimera away, I took a pass by Jaime Lannister, who simply called out for me to remember my surroundings. His words from the past few days and the various lessons from my father kept playing in my mind while I tossed my bow over my shoulder and felt for arrows in my quiver. I somehow felt calmer as the tip of my fingers touched them.
"Stay close to Willem," Robb called, walking towards me.
We had agreed that it would be better for us to not be close to one another in the battle. Inevitably, we pay far more attention to the opponent that the other was facing rather than whomever we were fighting ourselves.
I nodded, "I promise. I will see you soon."
Hugging him tightly, he told me he loved him one more time, kissed my forehead, and left to take his place at the head of the force. Behind him trailed Grey Wind. He cast a long stare at me as though communicating that he would be keeping an eye on Robb for me.
With a soft smile at the direwolf, I swung myself onto Chimera and watched Robb continue down the line.
"I would like you to focus please," Willem commented.
I jumped a little in the seat of the saddle. I had not expected him to appear so suddenly. Already, I failed to listen to Jaime's advice: be aware of my surroundings.
"That bodes well," Will sighed.
I raised an eyebrow, earning a smirk from my brother. His grin fell away as we started to move, however. Now, he too was focused. We rode among other men from Plenair. It was obvious from the way we moved and the manner in which our horses loped along the Riverlands as though they had lived there all their lives. My sense of confidence grew with each step Chimera took. We would look after each other.
As we flew across the grassy, soggy lands, I could see the lines of men awaiting our approach. They were prepared but we all knew they were outnumbered. Nevertheless, they elected to fight.
Our group, led by Willem, would take the right flank with the goal to split apart the troops. Our opponents began to draw their bows, sending off a long line of arrows into our midst. We quickly answered their arrows with our own. I was not near enough for my usual accuracy, but shot for the weak points in their armor, listening to the flow of arrows whiz past me.
I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest, threatening to break it, as we neared. I pulled down my visor, throwing my bow over my shoulder, and readied my sword. The hoof beats, the sound of armor clinking, and the yelling of the men began to fade into the background replaced by a buzzing sound within my ears while I stared with focus at men we were almost falling upon.
The second I raised and dropped my sword onto the first man's shoulder, the noise, screams, and sounds of steel upon steel came back to me. Chimera danced along, seeming to know just where to step to continue breaking through the people. We followed just behind Will, cutting deeper into their forces. I trusted Chi to get us through while he trusted me to cut down anyone who tried to attack us.
The tension grew in my arm, the muscles tightening around my neck and shoulder as I repeatedly brought the sword down from side to side on shoulders, chests, necks, and swords. I did my best to block out the screams of those I hit while Chimera kept us tight on the heels of my brother. Keeping focused on my brother and my surroundings, I found that we reached the back of the right flank much sooner than I anticipated. Rounding behind the Lannister men, we began the process of cutting off this band from the rest of their company.
We quickly approached the other half of our men from Plenair. Between each cut, I cast a quick glance around me, watching as the side flank continued to push the band of men further away from the rest of their group. Just as Chimera was about to charge after Willem, three men loyal to the Samelson house cut in front of me. Chimera reared, but quickly danced underneath me to make sure that I did not fall off. Soon, other men began to box me out as we encircled the Lannister forces.
The adrenaline pumping through my body soon gave way to frustration. Anger began to bubble within me, heating my skin, as I pulled out my bow. I was no longer close enough to need a sword. Instead, the arrows would reach anyone near my brother or any who got past my new found protectors.
The men were entirely surrounded, leaving them little choice but to surrender or die. A good portion had chosen the latter, but soon, this one piece of the Lannisters army began to forfeit.
I watched Will give orders to his men and dismounted, walking towards him. I ripped off my helmet, hurrying towards him to ask if he was the reason I was suddenly cut out from the thick of things.
"Ana!" Will yelled, his eyes shooting daggers at me when he saw me near. He grabbed the helmet from my hands and slammed it back onto my head, leaving a ringing noise in my ears.
"Are you mad, Will?"
"Are you?" he yelled back. "If word spreads about you being out here, do you know what they will do to you? You do realize this is not a game!"
We continued our argument all the way back to the encampment.
"Of course I realize how serious this is, Will. I am here to protect my family, not for fun. There is nothing enjoyable about listening to men screaming as you slice a sword through them!"
"If they see your face, once they know you are fighting, they will go after you, Ana. They will take you if they can, so you keep your damn helmet on at all times, and we will switch out your armor every battle so they will not be able to identify you amongst the boys who are five and ten."
I stared at him for a long moment. "It amazes me how quickly you switch from sincerity to taunts."
Willem shrugged, "Well, it's only obvious on the battlefield if your helmet is off, so no more of that."
I relented and was about to apologize, but a few moments later, I heard the pounding of hoof beats. Just over the bluff, I saw Robb and the rest of our men racing towards me with Grey Wind bounding along at his side. Relief washed over him when he saw me waiting for him. I threw myself into his arms as he held me tightly.
"Thank you," he said over my shoulder to Will.
"That one was easy," Willem commented. "Let's hope they all remain like that."