I'm fully prepared for the hate that's going to possibly come with this chapter. Hopefully you still love me and this story after this chapter.

Kate felt as if she was in some kind of walking nightmare. None of this seemed real. She still had moments where she wondered if this was all some kind of cruel, cruel hoax. Or something cooked up by her imagination. Her baby was lost before she even had a chance to hold her or him. It was all so unfair.

She was admitted into the hospital later that evening. She held Castle's hand while they administered the drugs that would bring on her labor. Until that evening, she thought that the pain of being shot was the worst thing she could have endured. Nothing compared to this pain however. This pain was deep and soul crushing. She was being forced to go through labor and delivery and she wouldn't have a baby to show for it at the end. She would go home with empty arms and an even emptier heart.

She cried silently through the entire process. Wishing that she were anywhere else. Wishing that the earth would just open up and swallow her whole. Part of her even wished for death. Her heart was broken anyway, so death would be so much easier than this.

After nearly twenty four hours of labor, their baby girl was finally delivered. She weighed just over ten ounces. She didn't look anything other than perfect. Kate's doctor knew that Kate and Rick needed to see the baby. Needed to know that it wasn't horribly deformed.

Kate couldn't stop the great gulping sobs that escaped her as she looked down at her baby girl. She already had hair on her head and her tiny fingers and toes were perfectly formed. When the doctor took the baby away, she wanted to follow. Didn't want her baby girl to be lonely.

She was released from the hospital later that day. Her doctor told them that they would do an autopsy to determine the cause of death, but often there was no cause. Sometimes things like this just happened and the cause could never be determined.

Kate was very silent on the way home from the hospital. Castle had called his mother and Kate and told them what had happened. They were both devastated to hear about what happened to the baby. Their tiny baby girl had died before she was allowed to live.

They decided to give her a name. It seemed fitting. They named her Stella Grace. It meant Star in Swedish. She would always be looking over them. Just like a star in the sky.

Kate climbed into bed that night and curled up into a tight ball. She wasn't hungry and didn't want to talk to anyone. Part of her wanted to die and part of her felt like she was going to die.

Castle climbed into bed behind her and held her tight. She tried to move away from him at first, but soon melted into him. He held her while she cried her heart out for their lost baby girl.

She turned into a virtual zombie over the next few weeks. She barely ate and hardly ever slept. She stared out the window and cried silently. She ignored everyone and everything. Even Benny was feeling the effects of her loss. Their baby boy tried to climb into her lap one day and Kate practically jumped to her feet and almost pushed him to the floor. The surprised boy took one look at her and cried his heart out. She shook her head and walked out of the room leaving Castle staring after her.

To say that he was pissed would have been a major understatement. Kate could hurt him. He was an adult and he could understand her moods, but Benny was still a baby. He had no idea why the only woman he could remember as his mother was pushing him away. He calmed Benny down and put him to bed. Then he stalked towards their bedroom to have to out with Kate.

He looked down at her and she looked so very small. For a moment, he considered leaving it alone. But then he remembered Benny's tears and he knew that they couldn't go on like this forever. So, he sat down on the bed and told her, "We need to talk Beckett."

Shaking her head, she told him, "I don't want to talk."

Sighing, he shook his head, "Well, I don't really care."

She turned to look at him and asked, "What? How can you say that?"

"I can because you've been like this for weeks. Pushing everyone and everything away from you. I let it go on because you weren't really hurting anyone other than yourself. At least not until tonight. Tonight everything changed."

"What changed? I haven't done anything today that I haven't done since I lost her."

"That's where you are wrong Katherine. Tonight you hurt someone that I love and that I thought you loved. Someone that has never hurt you."

"What are you even talking about Castle?"

"I stood there and watched you push Benny away from you. Watched as he crumpled to the ground and cried his eyes out. Because you pushed him away and onto the ground and all he was trying to do was give his mommy a hug and crawl into her lap. You are so wrapped up in your grief that you can't let anyone else in. Well, news flash Kate, we are still here! Benny and Alexis are your family to."

"I'm still grieving Castle."

"And I get that Kate, but that doesn't mean that you can treat us like that. We lost her too. She meant the world to us."

"I didn't even get to hold her Rick!"

It was then that Alexis walked into the room. She had a small package in her hand and she looked nervous. Castle could tell that she wanted to say something, but that she was afraid to. She shuffled back and forth on her feet and Castle asked, "What do you want Alexis? We are in the middle of something. I..."

Alexis held up her hands and told her father, "I know and normally I wouldn't interrupt, but well..."

Kate sighed and asked, "What is it Alexis?"

She thrust out the package and gave it to Kate. Then she rushed to explain, "I saw a story on tv the other night and well I thought that this might help. I know that it's not much, but..."

Castle took the package from her and they opened it together. Inside was a tiny teddy bear. It weighed the exactly the same as their baby girl. It was dressed in a pink shirt and had her daughter's name printed on it.

Before she could say anything to Alexis, the girl had left the room. Kate was left standing in their room looking at the gift from her stepdaughter. She swallowed hard and fell apart. For the first time in weeks she realized that she wasn't alone in this. She had a husband, son and stepdaughter that needed her.

She knew that she would always love and miss her lost baby girl. She leaned up and kissed Castle softly and closed her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry Castle..."

They laid down and Castle held her while she cried and she after the longest time she finally fell asleep.

She woke and it felt like everything had been a dream. She walked into the bathroom slowly and she didn't notice that anything was different until she felt a kick in her midsection. Her eyes flew open and she gripped the sink. She had to take some deep breaths and she looked down at her stomach. It was obvious that she was still pregnant.

She called out to her fiancee, "Castle! Come quick! Please!"

Beckett would have laughed, at the sight of him stumbling out of the bed. He practically crashed into the dresser in the bedroom. He hurried into the bathroom and asked, "What's wrong? Is the baby okay?"

Nodding, Beckett whispered, "Yeah. I...Castle...I..."

He knew that something was terribly wrong with her. He took her hands in his and whispered, "What happened?"

"The baby. I lost the baby. It took weeks for me to get over it. I... And now I'm still pregnant. I don't know what happened. I.."

She dropped down to the toilet and put her hands on her stomach and their unborn baby promptly moved around inside of her. She laughed until she cried and whispered, "Castle. I don't understand any of this. I..."

Castle knelt down beside her and whispered, "The baby is fine. You were having a bad nightmare, but stopped when I tried to wake you up."

Getting to his feet, Castle ran into the bedroom and grabbed the doppler device. He turned it on and held it to her stomach. The room was immediately filled with the sound of swishing and they knew that it was their baby's heartbeat. Kate looked at him and whispered, "It's our baby."

Nodding, Castle whispered, "The baby is fine. Everything is fine. It was just a terribly bad dream. We can go to your doctor and have her take a look. If it would make you feel better."

Nodding, she whispered, "It would. I need to see our guppy."

Castle laughed softly and asked, "Guppy?"

"I just don't want to call the baby an it anymore. I want to see her. I need to be reassured that..."

She felt Castle take her in his arms and hug her tight. Then he told her, "We are going to call her and then you will see that the baby is just fine. I know that the dream freaked you out, but everything is okay."

Castle left her in the bathroom and walked into the living room and picked up his phone. Then, he called up her doctor. He was able to get her an appointment for nine a.m. She hurried to get ready and Castle took a shower and got dressed. Beckett was waiting for him. She was pacing the floor nervously and he reached out for her hand. She took it and they walked out of the loft together.

Walking into the doctors office felt like deja vu. She was sure that her doctor would tell her that their baby was gone. Leaving her in the middle of a never ending nightmare. She closed her eyes and laid her head on Castle's shoulder. Wishing that this day was over with.

When they were finally called back, the doctor smiled at them and she put her stethoscope on Kate's belly. All like in her dream. However, unlike her dream, the room was soon filled with the sound of their baby's heartbeat. The doctor smiled and told them, "Your baby is perfectly healthy Kate. Did you want me to do an ultrasound?"

"If you don't mind?"

Shaking her head, she told her, "Not at all. If it settles your mind then it's worth it."

Kate closed her eyes and was settled just a little bit. She waited for the doctor to come back into the room. When she did, she had the ultrasound machine with her. Then, she felt the gel on her stomach and gasped from the cold.

Castle looked at her and smiled. He squeezed her hand and leaned down to kiss her. The doctor smiled and told her softly, "There's your baby. Moving and growing. Would you like pictures?"

Kate nodded, "Yes please. Can we get five copies please?"

Smiling, the doctor nodded and printed out the pictures. She needed them to prove to her that her baby was still okay.

All she could do was stare at the picture of their baby on the way home. She finally reached over and took Castle's hand and whispered, "Marry me Castle. I want to be more than your girlfriend. I want to be your wife. I don't care about a fancy wedding. All I need is you. Just you..."

Nodding, Castle told her, "Lets do it. I still have our wedding license. Lets just get married. We can tell everyone after."

Looking in the back seat, Castle told her, "What about Benny?"

Smiling, she told him, "I want him with us. We could get Alexis, but then your mom would want to be there and then the boys and Lanie."

"Yeah."

"No. We can have a big reception in the Hamptons."

"You have everything all planned out. Don't you?"

Nodding, she leaned over and kissed him while they stopped at the light. Castle changed course and they headed for the courthouse.

They said their vows with Benny as the only member of their family in attendance. They were married on a cold day in February. Love surrounding them as they started their lives together as husband and wife.

Walking out of the courthouse, Castle gave her a kiss and Beckett hummed softly and closed her eyes. Then she whispered, "We did it Castle."

Nodding, he kissed her back, "We did. I love you Mrs. Castle."

"And I love you Mister Castle."

Castle did a double take, but simply smiled at his new wife. He knew that she was the love of his life. He had known that for awhile now. It had just taken them a long time to get there.

When they reached the car, Castle put Benny in his car seat and before they got into the car, he pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. Then he asked, "Are you ready to go home?"

Nodding, she bit her bottom lip and got into the car. They drove home and Kate's stomach was churning with nervousness. How would their family and friends take the news of their marriage? Would they be happy or upset? Would they understand her need to make him her husband right away? Or would they be upset at them because they weren't invited to the wedding?

When he stopped the car, he could tell that Beckett was nervous. She was biting her lip so hard that it was nearly white. He took her hand and whispered, "It will be fine Kate. They are going to be happy for us."

"You think so?"

"I know so. All they are going to care about is that we are happy. We are married now Kate. Just like we should have been months ago."

Beckett hoped that he was right, but she had a feeling that their families were going to be upset about them running off to get married without telling or inviting them to the ceremony. Even if it was at the courthouse. She knew that her father would be particularly upset. She was his only daughter after all. Maybe she should have given this whole wedding a second thought. Maybe they should have waited. Had they made a massive mistake? Would her father be mad at her? Or would he simply be happy that she was happy after months and months of sadness and doubt? She knew that there was only one way to find out. She had to tell him. Had to invite him over to the loft and break the news to him.

So, they called Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and her father and invited them over to the loft that night. Beckett kept busy in the kitchen. Castle knew that she was trying to ease her nerves. She had found her way into the bathroom and thrown up the entire contents of her stomach. And it wasn't morning sickness this time. No, this time is was nerves plain and simple. It would have been easy to blame it on the baby, but it wouldn't be honest.

When the doorbell rang, she looked at it and had the sudden urge to run to the bedroom and hide. He pulled her close to him and whispered, "It will be fine Kate. Trust me."

She laid her head on his shoulder and he felt the tears soaking through his shirt. He put a finger under her chin and whispered, "Kate, they will be happy for us. We can have a big reception for everyone."

"But my dad Castle. I..."

"He might be upset, but I promise he will ultimately be happy for us. Do you regret marrying me?"

Her response was immediate, "No. Never. I could never regret that Castle. I love you and could never regret becoming your wife. Never."

"Then just remember that they will be happy in the end. They love us and want us to be happy."

She nodded and pulled his mouth down to hers and kissed him softly. Wishing that she could avoid the conversation with their families out in the living room. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his. He finally told her softly, "They love us Kate. Lets go out into that room and show them how happy we are."

She nodded softly and reached for his hand. Knowing that she would need his strength. She took a deep breath and headed out of the bedroom. He gave her hand a squeeze and he smiled at her softly. He looked at their family that was gathered in the living room. And yes, he did consider the boys and Lanie as part of their family. He smiled at Beckett's father and then he announced, "We have a big announcement to make. There's no easy way to say this. So, we are just going to say it. We made the big decision to..."

That was when Alexis piped up with, "You're breaking up?"

That caused a big commotion with everyone in the room. It got very loud in the room and Castle and Beckett looked at one another. Finally, Beckett said loudly, "Stop it! No we are not breaking up. Why would you think that Alexis?"

Alexis shook her head, "You are just so serious. And you look sad almost. So..."

Castle shook his head, "We aren't breaking up. I promise. It is something big though. When I went missing it put a kink into our wedding plans. Well, Kate and I decided that we didn't want to wait anymore. So, we went to the courthouse and well..."

Rick and Kate announced together, "We got married!"

That was when the room got extremely quiet. It was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone's mouth fell open and Martha very nearly dropped the glass of wine that she had been holding.

Kate was almost afraid to look at her father given the reactions of the others in the room. However, before she knew what was happening, she felt someone giving her a hug. Turning to look, she was surprised to notice that it was her father that had his arms around her. Then he told her, "I'm happy for you Katie."

"Really? You aren't mad?"

Shaking his head, he asked her softly, "Mad? Why on earth would I be mad?"

"Because I didn't give you a chance to walk me down the aisle. Because we didn't tell you before we did this. Before..."

Jim Beckett shook his head and told her, "None of that matters to me. All that matters is that you and Rick are happy together. This should mean good things for your adoption of Benny. The courts really favor married couples." Looking at his only daughter he smiled knowingly. Then he told her, "That's why you did this so suddenly. Are you sure it's a good idea? Is that a reason to get married so quickly? I..."

Shaking her head, Kate told her father, "No dad. We should have been married months ago. Before everything went so horribly wrong. We wanted this before now dad. I promise."

Looking at her, Jim smiled and hugged her tightly. And just like that, the tension in the room was gone. Their families were gathered around them and hugging and kissing them. Everyone promising to attend the reception.

They had planned the night to last longer, but around ten that night Kate grew extremely tired. So tired that she curled up on the couch and fell fast asleep. Not realizing that her friends and family were taking pictures and promising to call them tomorrow.

Looking down at his wife, Rick smiled as he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He was glad that Alexis and his mother were understanding about the impromptu wedding. They had even offered to help with setting up the reception.

Thoughts?