Chapter 8 – Mending Broken Wounds

'Okay, but you must stay out of the way and not wake Mr Black while he is sleeping. But I can't have the other two in here at all hours too, do you hear me? You, and only you, can stay the night but you must go to breakfast in the morning.'

'Thank you Madam Pomfrey.' The boy replied softly as she turned back to her diagnostics.

~#~

Sirius awoke the following morning groggy and confused. It took him a moment to realise where he was and why. His memory stumbling back to him, the teenager looked around and found the pain in his chest surprisingly dulled. Spotting Remus in the chair next to him, head lolled to one side and snoring gently, Sirius' heart warmed. The conversation they'd had the previous night had clearly not been a dream after all.

His worst fear for the new term had not come to fruition. Remus had heard him out and even said that he believed everything Sirius had told him. He now had one friend who was now willing to sit by his bedside throughout the night.

Remus snorted and jolted awake as his head tipped back. Sirius struggled not to laugh at his friend's undignified way of waking. Unfortunately Remus noticed the look of mirth on the other boy's face and glared at him good-naturedly before twisting his neck to work the ache out of it.

'Feeling better I take it?' The sandy haired boy asked.

Sirius smiled broadly, he had not felt better all summer. Yes his knee still hurt and his chest still ached but one of his friends had forgiven him. 'Yep.' He replied, popping his 'p'.

Remus couldn't help but grin back as an almost giddy feeling overcame them both.

Madam Pomfrey pushed aside the curtains as she bustled in with an array of potions set upon a tray. She smiled slightly at her patient, pleased to see him awake and clearly in good spirits.

'I see you're both awake. Remus, breakfast starts in ten minutes so I suggest you go change and get fed before your lessons start.'

Remus made to protest but stopped at the stern glare from the matron, he glanced across at Sirius, gave him a reassuring smile and left the hospital wing. He fully intended to talk his other two friends into giving Sirius a chance to explain himself. The way Sirius had talked last night made far more sense than the disjointed answer he had gotten from the others. The last few months had been hard on them all, there had always been four of them and there was always meant to be. Having their number cut to three in such a manner had left them all disorientated and at least a little depressed.

~#~

Back in the Hospital Wing, Sirius couldn't wipe the broad grin off his face even as Madam Pomfrey began to prod and probe to see what healing still needed to be done. Unfortunately the matron seemed to take his giddy nature as a sign that he'd perhaps had too much pain reliever through the night and suggested he take it less regularly from now on.

The morning's healing was far less painful than the night before. With the groundwork having been done, Madam Pomfrey was mainly just checking that his ribs had set right and the wounds on his torso had not reopened over-night. The only problem seemed to be his knee which had already managed to set incorrectly.

'It'll be hard work and you'll have to take it easy.' Madam Pomfrey said in response to the panicked look that crossed Sirius' face. 'You will have to stay in for the rest of the week regardless, we don't want anything to go amiss and for you to end up like you were yesterday.'

Sirius groaned at the thought of being stuck in bed for another week again.

'It's for the best. As it is I don't think you're quite capable of making it to your common room so a little rest won't do you any harm.'

With that she handed him two small vials, one a toxic green colour and the other a putrid brown. Sirius glared at them, hoping against hope that he wouldn't have to ingest them.

'Drink up, they're for your lungs and stomach. Healing hasn't even touched those yet so we can't delay. Merlin knows what kind of damage there'll be if we don't sort it out now.'

Unstopping the first vial, the teen held his nose before attempting to down it in one. However, the taste was even worse than the smell and he gagged half-way through.

'Oh don't be so dramatic. That one doesn't even taste that bad. You finish those two and I'll see about sorting out some breakfast for you.' Pomfrey said huffily. None of her students ever liked taking potions but quite often they were a necessary part of healing, and far less painful than any alternatives.

With potions painfully swallowed, Sirius eased himself into a sitting position, determined that the lingering taste of healing potion wouldn't ruin his breakfast.

~#~

Breakfast in the Hospital Wing was never as good as in the Great Hall or directly from the kitchen, there was never enough of it for one thing. This said, Sirius was still enjoying eradicating the taste of potions and instead replacing it with the taste of scrambled eggs and toast.

The curtains fluttered aside once more, almost afraid that it was Madam Pomfrey returning to force-feed him more potions, Sirius glanced up.

'No need to look so afraid Mr Black, Madam Pomfrey is still in her office.' Minerva McGonagall said smiling gently, noting the nervous look on her student's face. She walked around the bed before perching herself gently on the chair that Remus had previously vacated.

'I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.' The professor asked in response to Sirius' now questioning expression, fork still halfway to his mouth. 'Besides, I needed to sort out your timetable anyway.'

'I'm doing alright. Stuck in here for the next week though.' He replied. Minerva smiled at the bitter tone understanding her student all too well.

'I am glad. I must admit you had me worried last night. Though I am a little disappointed you did not tell me about your parents before.' She answered softly.

'I didn't think there was anything you could do. Besides it's sort of private.' Sirius replied quietly, not making eye contact.

'Perhaps not, though I would have liked to have known, if just to reassure myself that you were okay. Now, on a different note: have you given any thought as to what N.E.W.T.s you would like to take this year? Congratulations on your O.W.L. results by the way.'

'Thanks. Umm, I thought I'd just carry on the ones I got O's in. So Charms, Potions, Transfig', Defence and Muggle Studies.' Slightly happier with the change in topic, Sirius was still uncomfortable having a conversation with his head of house when he wasn't in class or in trouble.

'Very well. Though are you sure you will be okay with five subjects? Most students prefer to only carry on four unless they have a particular career in mind.' Tapping the empty timetable with her wand, she passed it over to the sixth year who glanced at it briefly before placing it on his bedside table.

'Yeah, it'll be fine. And besides, having five N.E.W.T.s will be useful when I know what I want to do after all this.' He gestured around vaguely. 'And thanks Professor. For coming to see me.' This Sirius said softly and in the vague direction of his feet. He had always felt closer to Professor McGonagall than to any of the other professors, perhaps it was because she was his head of year and he interacted with her more often but he felt she understood him better than most people. That and she was one of few adults he actually trusted. This didn't stop him feeling awkward around her though and expressing his emotions was not Sirius' forte.

Minerva was surprised at this last pronouncement. Sirius was not often one to express himself but perhaps this was something that had changed over the summer, along with everything else. Though, when she thought about it, nothing really had changed for the boy it was just her knowledge of him that had changed. That thought did nothing to cheer her mood however.

'You are welcome. Please remember that I am always here to talk should you need it and if you need any help, you know where to find me. Now, I suggest you start reading your textbooks to make sure you do not fall too far behind in your lessons.'

Sirius nodded absently and muttered a thanks at his professor's offer of help.

'And now I really must be getting to my second years. It would not do to arrive after they do.' She stood gracefully and bestowed a kind smile on her student before noticing his very clean breakfast plate. 'And perhaps I could convince Madam Pomfrey to give you some more breakfast before I leave.' She smiled gently which Sirius warily returned gratefully before she pushed aside the curtains and slipped out quietly.

~#~

Remus entered a very busy Great Hall after sprinting to his dormitory and hastily changing his clothes from his unpacked trunk.

He made his way quickly over to James and Peter who were sat in their usual seats near the end of the table. Fortunately for him, Professor McGonagall had not yet gotten to them to hand them their new timetables for the year.

Piling bacon, eggs and beans onto his plate he turned to his friends. 'We need to talk about Sirius.'

James firmly put down his fork, a look of concern plastered across his face. 'How was he? Did you stay with him all night?' His response to Remus' question was so vastly different to how it had been two months previously.

'He's not great. He was putting on a brave face this morning but last night scared me. And yeah, I stayed with him.'

'So what was it?' Peter asked. 'Did Snape curse him or what?'

'No it wasn't Snape. He said it was his parents.'

'What?!' James exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice quiet. Several heads turned their way suspiciously but looked away when all three boys glared at them fiercely.

'Yeah, apparently they had this massive row – over werewolves of all things – and yeah, he said his dad cursed him. He ran away afterwards, went to his uncle's or something.'

'His parents? But he never said they hurt him. I know he didn't like them but he just said they argued and whatever but never actually hit him or anything.' Peter claimed fearfully.

James looked deeply disturbed at this information, he thought he knew everything about his best friend – former best friend, he reminded himself – but now that he thought about it, Sirius had always been evasive when they talked of family. He'd say as little as he could get away with and leave it at that. And he always moved gingerly after the holidays for a few days too, as if he were in pain.

'They were arguing over werewolves?' James asked, putting the rest of the information to the back of his mind for the meantime.

'Yeah. Said he and his father ran into someone at the WRC at the Ministry. They had some sort of disagreement at the time and then his brother brought it up again at dinner, said he'd heard from someone here that there was a werewolf at Hogwarts-' Here Remus paused, and gave the others a significant look.

'But Sniv' wouldn't have told anyone, Dumbledore'd have him expelled if he did.' James said quietly, remembering that night in the headmaster's office only too clearly. That night had haunted him in his dreams all summer.

'Let's hope so.' Remus murmured. 'Anyway, the whole werewolf thing escalated into an argument which apparently got personal soon after.'

'And what, they- they cursed him?' Peter asked shakily.

'Yeah, then he left. Went to his Uncle Alfie's or whatever.'

'Bloody hell.' James breathed, breakfast ignored.

'We should all go see him later, after dinner.' Remus said adamantly turning back to his breakfast.

Peter nodded slowly but James looked a little reluctant.

'Did he say anything about… you know, that night?' The messy haired boy asked, not making eye-contact with his friend instead staring sullenly into his porridge.

'When he realised I was there, he explained himself. Made more sense that what you two said.' The werewolf answered curtly.

'Right, right. And, er… was he sorry? And… did you- did you forgive him?' James seemed as though he wanted to be anywhere but asking these questions of Remus but he had to know. There was no way he could forgive Sirius if he hadn't even attempted to apologise. His feelings for his best friend (former best friend) were conflicted. He felt empty without him by his side and the horror he felt at hearing he was abused was unparalleled by anything he'd ever felt. But Sirius had betrayed them, in the worst way possible too. To James, loyalty was everything.

But perhaps there was no harm in hearing Sirius out.

~#~

Sirius was relieved by lunch time. He'd had a rough morning of healing as it turned out his injuries had only gotten worse with time, perhaps an effect of the dark curses.

His relief however, quickly turned to anxiety with the sight of his three former friends walking carefully through the door to the Hospital Wing.

Remus smiled broadly as he approached the boy in the bed before sitting casually by the footboard, back leaning against it and feet spread out on the pristine sheets. His position was not lost on Sirius; Remus was occupying the same space Sirius used to after a full moon.

Peter perched on the edge of the chair wringing his hands nervously. James, apparently too apprehensive to sit, stood two feet from the bed on the opposite side to Remus and Peter.

Sirius' eyes were wide and his mouth popped open in surprise.

'Told you I'd be back later.' Remus commented with a smile.

It took him a while to find his tongue, 'yeah.' He said faintly.

'Hey Padfoot.' James greeted quietly, still not approaching the bed and eyes seemingly unconsciously scouring his former friend for injuries.

Sirius' head swivelled at the noise, clearly not expecting James to talk to him.

'Remus told us what happened. Are you alright?' James' voice still did not rise above a whisper. When Sirius continued to gape in his direction, James continued. 'Why didn't you ever say anything? We could have helped. You could have moved in with me. We could have looked after you. How dare you not tell me? I'm your best friend, I have a right to know.' James' voice had steadily got louder, all his anxiety of the past twenty four hours coming out now that he could see the state of his friend.

Sirius continued to gape.

'Say something dammit!'

Sirius' mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. It seemed absurd that James was even standing anywhere near him, let alone talk to him. What do you say to someone whom you'd betrayed so thoroughly?

Thankfully Remus caught on quickly to Sirius' quandary.

'I told them what happened Pads. And then I told them what you said to me last night.' Sirius' eyes still did not leave James but he nodded slightly.

'And…?' Sirius asked, his voice pained.

'And I want to hear you say the words Sirius. I don't know what to think but I never did find out what really happened. What you really told Snape that night.' Finally James moved closer to the bed, gently perching on its edge and staring intensely at the other dark haired boy.

'I, I.' Sirius' throat was dry and he swallowed painfully.

'I think- I think I told him that he wouldn't be able to get past the Willow if it danced in front of him. I was teasing him. I knocked him out and went to calm down. When I got back he was gone. I guess I just assumed he'd forgotten all about it and gone back to his common room.' Sirius' voice was quiet but pleading, he wanted his friends to understand that he didn't mean what he did, that he'd regretted it every minute since.

'But Snape said you told him explicitly how to get to the Shack?' James asked confused.

'No. I don't think even then I would have told him anything in detail. But as I say, it's all a bit foggy. I was drunk and angry and I can't really remember what happened, but I've got no excuse.' He hung his head, not daring himself to look any of the three boys in the eye waiting for condemnation to pour forth.

'I suppose he was following us around for ages and he'd been hinting that he knew about Remus for even longer. He might have followed us one night and just put two and two together and worked the rest out for himself.' Peter suggested. Being the perceptive one he always picked up on things the other three missed, like the sheer extent of Snape's interest in them.

'I still think Snivellous must be thicker than he looks to willingly walk towards a werewolf during the full moon. I mean, he said he heard Moony growling and still kept walking.' James said incredulously as Remus blanched.

Sirius' heart started to lift, it looked as though they believed what he said.

James caught his hopeful look. For someone who'd always been difficult to read, James was astonished at how open Sirius was being.

'I believe you Pads. I can't believe I never gave you a chance to explain yourself before. I'm sorry.'

Sirius looked away once more but with his friends surrounding his bed it was hard not to make eye contact with any of them. 'You've no need to be sorry Prongs, it was my fault and I shouldn't have let myself get riled. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place.'

'Don't be daft.' Remus said, clearly elated that all his friends were back together again. 'You'd had a really bad day and we all know how you get when your emotions get on top of you.'

Sirius nodded and let out a small smile. He couldn't believe he was forgiven.

James huffed a sigh of relief at the sight and pushed himself more fully onto the bed, accidentally jostling Sirius' still unhealed knee.

With Sirius' quiet groan of pain, James jumped back off the bed worried that he'd done lasting damage. Just as he moved to go and fetch Pomfrey, Sirius gasped, 'no, I'm fine. Don't worry, don't need Pomfrey.'

All three other boys raised their eyebrows in unison.

James carefully eased himself back on the bed, trying to word his next question so that it wouldn't be as accusatory as it sounded in his head.

Unfortunately Sirius had always been able to read his friend like a book.

'Sorry I didn't tell you about all the shit at home Prongs, I didn't want you to worry about me and you know, it's kind of hard to talk about.'

James nodded. 'I get that but I still wish you'd told me. Is what Moony said true then?'

'Having not been with you all day Prongs, I have no idea what Moony told you.' To Sirius' surprise, a gently mocking smile pulled at his lips easily and naturally.

With that smile the remaining tension seemed to lift.

'Did your parents really do this to you?' James answered not quite being able to form the returning smile, mind still full of his best friend's cry of pain earlier.

Sirius nodded slowly, his own smile sliding off his face as his eyes grew dark with recollection.

'Why?' Peter breathed, now leaning back comfortably in his chair.

''Cause they're evil gits?' Sirius replied, trying to lighten the atmosphere again but to no avail. It was second nature to him now to try to force up his cold mask and deflect unwanted questions with humour. Unfortunately for him, the other three boys now saw straight through it like they had never been able to before.

'Padfoot.' James called seriously. 'Why did they really do it?'

The other boy huffed a sigh. 'They just don't like me.' At James' querying eyebrow he continued, 'they don't like that I'm different, that I don't believe the things they do.'

'Like werewolves for instance.' Remus spoke.

'Yeah, like that. And then there's the fact that I don't live up to their carefully laid out expectations.' He said bitterly.

'What d'you mean?' Peter asked timidly, leaning forward in his chair.

'Well, they always wanted me to lead the family when I was old enough. Bring more power and acclaim to the family, you know? And well, Gryffindor doesn't really begin to follow the ideals they had set up for me.'

'Have they always been like this, you know, abusive and stuff?' James asked again.

'Dunno. Before Hogwarts I don't think it was so bad. They'd mostly just shout or maybe be just a bit like that when I'd done something wrong, but you know, that's just purebloods.'

James reluctantly nodded, he had heard from other pureblood families his parents were friendly with that physical punishments were quite common. 'And after you got here?' He prompted.

'Yeah, that's when it started to get bad.' Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his bed, unused to this kind of attention.

'Can I go hurt them Padfoot?' James asked fiercely. Remus nodded too, clearly uncomfortable that his friend had managed to hide this for so long.

Sirius smiled at their concern. 'Don't bother, won't change anything now. I'm not going back.'

'Where are you going to go?' Peter asked, seemingly not as willing to go up against the House of Black as the other two.

'Dunno, probably see if Alphard will have be again.'

'You could always stay at mine. There's plenty of space and Mum and Dad won't mind.' James said softly.

Sirius shifted awkwardly again. 'I don't want to get in the way. I'll stay with my uncle, I'll be alright there.'

'Nope. You're staying with me. I'll write to Mum tomorrow and tell her.' James was suddenly more keen on the idea and clearly wouldn't take no for an answer.

When Sirius continued to look awkward Remus turned to James and said, 'perhaps it would be best if you asked permission first James, rather than just tell her that you're moving your pet dog in.'

Sirius couldn't stop the short bark of laughter that escaped his lips, unfortunately loud enough to alert Madam Pomfrey of the Marauder's presence in the Hospital Wing.

Ushering them out so that they would get to their next lessons on time and she could continue treating her patients in peace, the three Marauders picked up their bags reluctantly.

'We'll come back later Pads, and we'll bring chocolate.' James called over his shoulder.

The broad grin on Sirius' face was enough to convince the matron that perhaps the unwelcome visitors were not the worst thing that could have happened.

~#~

True to his promise, James returned that evening (in actual visiting times too) with Remus and Peter in tow. This behaviour was repeated every night until Sirius was discharged, with frequent midday visits included too, all proving to speed Sirius along with his recovery.

After nine days stuck in the Hospital Wing, Sirius had caved into doing something he had never even considered doing before. He had opened his school books and actually managed to keep up with his classwork. He had never been so bored in his life, he almost enjoyed reading through his textbooks.

So it was with an immense look of joy on the second Thursday of term that Sirius Black was finally checked out of the Hospital Wing with a warning that should he even be seen near a broomstick that Madam Pomfrey would demand his return and keep him in there until Christmas.

~#~

Settling back in to Hogwarts life was much more different this year than previous years. The war was starting to take its toll with deaths of people the Marauders actually knew. The others had tried to catch Sirius up on the students who wouldn't be returning while he was still incarcerated. But sat at the breakfast table on his first day back, Sirius didn't think any amount of information would have prepared him for the subdued nature of the Great Hall.

Before now Sirius had never really paid a great deal of attention to his fellow students outside his own year group but while he was struggling to talk to his own friends (still battling his internal guilt) he found his eyes wandering over the other groups of students. Some more quiet than he had ever imagined, some a few members short. The assessment didn't help the dark and gloomy feeling that resided in his gut.

Despite his internal musings, Sirius tried to keep up the happy conversation that thrummed through his group of friends. Even through his lessons Sirius tried his hardest to act the way he always used to when sat beside the other Marauders. His interactions still felt so much harder when he couldn't shake off his guilty feeling that came with betraying his friends. Especially when he looked at Remus, the friend who had been the most ready to forgive him.

James had naively thought that now everything was out in the open that things would go back to normal. He'd always had a very basic and innocent view of the world, he'd always assumed that if things felt a certain way to him then they'd feel the same way to everyone else. What he didn't expect was for his best friend to still be slightly gloomy and withdrawn, despite his best efforts.

He had thought through everything that might be maintaining his best friend's depressed mood and after discarding the idea that it might be caused by his persistent injuries, jumped to the conclusion that Sirius was annoyed that James had shouted at him and not given him the chance to explain himself properly after what they now publicly referred to as the Willow Incident.

At dinner that night James was sat beside his friend who was studiously paying attention to what he was eating. Fed up with the subdued atmosphere, he finally decided it was down to him to change things.

'Hey Sirius? I'm sorry I didn't let you explain before, you know after the Willow incident. I shouldn't've gone off on you like that.' James made sure to keep his voice low.

Sirius looked up startled and just a little bit confused. 'Er, don't worry about it mate. I understand why you did it. I don't blame you.'

James smiled brightly. 'Thanks Pads. Anyway, did you hear the Bats-Arrows score from the other night?'

After replying in the negative, Sirius found himself distracted with a play-by-play analysis by a rather impressed with himself James.

The rest of the evening passed in a whirl for Sirius. It seemed as though his friends were trying to keep him busy by including him in all their conversations and games of chess and exploding snap. While not entirely sure why they were occupying their friend's mind, all three other Marauders noticed Sirius' improved mood when he was busy.

Therefore it wasn't until Sirius was wrapped up in his four poster bed that he really had a chance to think. With one thing and another he hadn't really had time to himself just to think over what had happened to him since the night before he left home. Now that he was out of hospital and nothing was hurting so much he couldn't concentrate, Sirius found his mind full of recent events.

He was over the moon that he had his friends back in his life, he had been so sure that they had permanently abandoned him after what he'd done. And they seemed to think all was forgiven. But it couldn't be really, he reasoned with himself. Nobody could forgive someone for almost getting them executed for almost killing another student. Nobody could forgive a complete and total betrayal and disregard of all bonds of friendship. Therefore, Sirius figured, they must just be being nice to him out of sympathy for his injuries. Everything'd go back to normal as soon as he was healed and back to normal.

Despite these musings, Sirius' thoughts on his friends were still fairly light-hearted. As he rolled over he even had a smile on his face. Pleased for once to be sleeping in comfort in a warm bed, with the snores of his three best friends serenading him to sleep.

Unburdened by the lack of sleeping potion and limited pain, Sirius began to dream for the first time in a month.

~#~

He was soaring through the sky, wind whipping his hair back and across his eyes. He had his beater's bat in his right hand and he watched the game unfold around him, keeping an eye on the bludgers and the other beaters.

Ravenclaw retrieved the quaffle just as a bludger angled itself vaguely towards Sirius. He adjusted, bat at the ready, preparing to knock that chaser sideways.

But he'd misjudged the bludger's angle. Instead of hitting his bat it collided with his chest and threw him from his broom. Luckily he was close to the ground and his landing wasn't particularly hard.

But he must have hit his head harder than he thought because soon the scene in front of him was swimming, changing, the colours were running and fading. His ears were screaming, at first with the rush of air as he fell but then with the sound of a woman screaming his name.

When Sirius' eyes cleared up he realised he was on his Aunt Lucretia's grounds. It was his mother calling his name as he lay in the foetal position on the rolling lawns. She called his name over and over sounding far more scared that he ever remembered her sounding. He tried to move and he noticed his body was much smaller than he was used to, no older than four or five.

'Sirius! Sirius are you well? Oh, dear. Orion! Orion he fell from his broom! Look at his arm, is he going to be okay?' His mother's hands touched him gently, probing him, seeing that he was well.

Sirius groaned.

Another set of hands gently reached under his tiny frame and lifted him carefully into the air. His father's voice reached him slowly, gently reassuring him that he was going to be okay, that he hadn't fallen far and that they'd have his arm mended in no time.

As he buried his head into the other man's robes the sounds and sights of the memory drifted away.

He was standing now. A little taller than before but not by much. Orion Black was knelt in front of him, hand rested gently on his shoulder, grey eyes looking deep into his own.

'I am proud of you Sirius. You behaved immaculately tonight and our guests were very impressed with your decorum. You will do us proud son, I am sure of it.'

He felt a hand ruffle his hair gently before the scene changed again.

'Hurry up Reggie!' He shouted at the smaller boy ahead of him. 'She'll catch us.' Between gasps for breath small giggles floated into the air, echoing those of the other boy as he stumbled and rolled gently onto the floor. Sirius fell down onto the grass next to him.

'Sirius, why is Bella so mad with us? We only put a little slime in her dress.' The little boy giggled again and Sirius felt his lips pull up into a wide grin.

'Dunno Reg. I think she's gone mad. You know, like Grandmother Hesper did, you remember?' He answered knowledgably though his voice was higher than what he'd gotten used to.

'Really?' Regulus asked, wide-eyed with wonder.

'Yeah, it's a family curse. Some of us go insane and start doing bad things like hurting people.'

'I hope I never go mad Sirius. I never want to hurt people like Bella does.'

The vision of his little brother morphed, grew taller and older looking before his mouth opened once more.

'So what if I'm joining him, he's got the right idea, purifying the world of the scum that have taken over.'

~#~

Sirius' eyes snapped open and he slumped onto his back, heart racing. He reached under his pillow for his wand and cast a quick time charm, it was half past three.

The series of dreams had left him with an aching in his chest as he realised just how much his life had changed in the past few years. He used to be happy in his family before Hogwarts; his mother cared about him, his father was proud of him and he had a little brother who looked up to him with wide, innocent eyes.

So much had changed and not just because he was sorted into Gryffindor. Even after, Orion had held out hope that his firstborn would continue to uphold the family name. Regulus still talked to him that first year and even part of the second too. But it wasn't just the others that had changed. Sirius wasn't stupid enough to think that. He'd changed just as much, if not more, than the rest of them. It hadn't taken him forever to realise that the world he grew up in was wrong and he had changed with his new beliefs. So it shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did when he quickly grew apart from his relatives.

It didn't surprise him now when he thought about it. But that didn't stop it from hurting. The ache in his chest didn't disappear. It was longing, longing for the family that he would never have again, that would only be a distant memory in the dark recesses of his mind.

Sirius didn't sleep again that night. Every time he went to close his eyes a new memory would burst free from where it had locked itself. Old memories of times gone by where things weren't so dark and his feelings hadn't yet completely changed.

~#~

When he heard his dorm mates begin to rise later that morning, Sirius decided it was time to move. Reaching up to push aside his curtains he feigned a yawn and began the pretence of having just had a good night's sleep.

It didn't go amiss that Sirius was grumpier than he had been the day before, nor that there were slight bags under his eyes that hadn't previously been there. However, by unspoken rule, not a word was mentioned about it and the day continued as normally as possible.

James continued trying to drag Sirius into conversation while Sirius was trying to ascertain whether or not he was truly wanted amongst his friends. As the day wore on, Sirius' mood steadily turned further south. Lack of sleep had always made him grumpy and now was no different, but combined with his feeling of detachment from his friends Sirius' lack of sleep started to allow a small distance to begin to form within the friends again.

Only after the third straight sleepless night and an increasingly quiet and reserved Padfoot did the other Marauders started to notice.

Sirius had just gone up to the dormitory to retrieve his Muggle Studies textbook when Remus turned and leaned in towards the other two.

'He's not right.'

'No.' James replied. 'I thought he was angry at me for not giving him a chance to apologise and explain, you know, before. But every time I mention it he tells me to shut up and that it doesn't matter. It must really be bothering him.'

Peter looked at James curiously. 'I don't think it's that Prongs. I don't think he cares about that at all. I think he still feels guilty.'

'Yeah, like he feels he doesn't really belong with us because of what he did.' Remus replied nodding. James still looked confused. 'He's always trying to remove himself from conversations. I asked his opinion in Potions this morning and he just told me that the textbook would be able to tell me better. It's like he doesn't think he's worth anything.'

'Then what do we do to make it right? To let him know he's just as much a Marauder as before all this shit happened?'

'I dunno James. But there's got to be something.' Remus answered just as Sirius stumped back down the boys' staircase and re-joined them at their table by the fire.

'What'd I miss?' Sirius asked, thumping his textbook down in front of him.

'Not much. We were just thinking up something we could do, we can't do homework forever.' Remus said, the better liar of the three.

'Yeah? Huh, feel like all I've been doing is school work, sounds like a good idea to me. How far did your thinking get?'

'Uh, not far.' James mumbled into his parchment, not trusting himself to look his friend in the eye knowing that he'd be able to tell that they'd been talking about him if he did.

'Hey, we've not done a prank in ages.' Peter said, a little too loudly. All four boys automatically turned to make sure no one overheard. 'Sorry. But we've not done anything since… well, since Easter.'

'Yeah.' James' eyes lit up. 'We should prank the whole school to make sure they've not forgotten about us.'

'Then we'd best think of something to do in the Great Hall, else we won't be able to get everyone together for it.' Sirius pushed aside the parchment on the table, fully engaged in a conversation for the first time. Any time Sirius had started to get distant with his friends in the past, a prank had always been a good way to get him to re-engage.

'Nothing too big or dangerous though.' Remus said quietly. It was always he who had to reign in the pranks before they got too bad though sometimes the others just ignored him, too caught up in their plans. Surprisingly though, Sirius nodded his agreement.

'So what do we do then, charm the floor to look like water again?' Peter asked.

'Nah, we've already done that, there's no fun in doing the same thing twice.'

'Hey, perhaps we could mess with the food. Nothing serious.' Sirius grinned a little, looking at Remus to pacify him a little. 'Put charms on the food that makes everyone do weird stuff.'

'That sounds cool. We could put colour change charms on them-' James started, getting excited.

'So that people's skin changes to their house colour.' James' and Sirius' eyes met and they shared a grin.

'Just one charm, or should we do more?' Remus asked. 'Just one would seem a bit dull. We can do better than that.'

'Loads of different charms, with timing spells so they don't all go off at once!' Peter exclaimed.

'So what spells do we know that we can use?'

'Colour charms are easy enough, we can specialise them to different parts, like hair, skin, clothes.'

'That glitter charm we used on the Slytherin common room last year.'

'I just about remember the singing jinx we looked up in second year, we could use that.'

'What about the jelly legs-hex?'

'Hmm maybe, but people probably won't be walking anywhere while they're eating.'

'What about a vanishing charm then, every time they go to eat something it disappears?'

'Yeah, that sounds cool.'

The four friends continued mapping out the spells they wanted to use for another hour before deciding that for their prank to be successful, they would have to include some spells they had never used before. This thought led the boys to the library, a rare sight if ever there was one. The other students started to get nervous.

They split up so as to avoid detection by the librarian. Remus was sent to look up a time activation spell so the boys wouldn't have to do all the casting at once. Sirius was looking up ways to get colour changing charms to be specific to certain body parts. James was investigating if it were possible to make certain spells target specific people. And Peter was searching for other spells they hadn't discovered before that might be useful for their prank.

At ten o'clock the four were kicked out of the library for being out after curfew. However, none left without a long list of spells they could practice and use for their prank.

The hours before bed were spent fine tuning how and when they were going to prank the school. It was decided that dinner would be best as almost all student were in the Great Hall at similar times. They also decided, just before shutting their bed curtains, that they wouldn't attempt their prank until they were sure they could pull it off.

Sirius shut his curtains and lay back on his bed feeling a smile creep onto his face. That night was the first in many in which he didn't dream.

~#~

It was the following Friday, four days later, when they were finally ready for their prank. Their spells were practiced and they'd sweet-talked the house elves into letting them mess with their carefully prepared food.

They'd also decided that it would be less suspicious if none of them were present in the Great Hall when the chaos started otherwise they'd be the only people in the room not eating for fear of being targeted by the food.

Thus it was, at six o'clock that evening that the Marauders were gathered by the Teachers' Entrance, each staring through the small crack between the door and the frame.

'Thirty seconds to go before the fun starts.' James murmured, watching his classmates happily tuck in to their dinner, blissfully ignorant of what was about to happen.

It was a subtle plan really and no one noticed it happening at first.

The first spells to activate were the quieter ones. Food disappeared off forks, peas avoided spoons, gravy turned to water and potatoes transformed into sprouts.

After three minutes of mild confusion, broken giggles began to echo around the room as students noticed their friends' hair changing colour, the robes turning glittery, and their skin going green. Soon the Gryffindors were wearing yellow, the Slytherins were wearing red, the Hufflepuffs blue and the Ravenclaws green.

Then the havoc kicked up a notch.

A Slytherin opened her mouth to complain at her head of house about her sparkly orange hair when all her words came out like Celestina Warbeck. Every other house broke out into laughter, though some were talking to their friends in rhyme.

Soon various students and teachers alike were growing animal appendages. Snape had snail eyes sticking out of his forehead, Amethyst Kelsall of Ravenclaw had an eagle's beak while several other students were now the owners of tails. Professor Flitwick alone looked happy with his transformation, now sporting an elongated neck like a giraffe he could finally see to the back of the Great Hall.

All four Marauders fell apart laughing at the sight before them. Yes they had pulled better pranks but never on this scale before.

However, unfortunately for the boys they had forgotten to ensure all the teachers were in the Great Hall before setting up camp in the Teachers' Entrance.

There was a quiet clearing of a throat behind the boys causing their laughter to sober instantly.

Standing before them, eyebrows raised was Professor Dumbledore. Hearing the shrieks behind him, the headmaster ushered them all aside so that he could assess the chaos.

Thrusting open the door it took him only twenty seconds to get the gist of their prank. Spinning back round on his heel to face them, Dumbledore's face was serious though his eyes were not. The boys shuffled their feet, not sure whether they should start making up excuses yet.

'I take it you four are the cause of this disruption?' He beckoned at the now wide open door behind him.

The Marauders exchanged glances. They all made a point not to look through the door as they knew they would only start laughing again.

'I do hope you are aware that tampering with meals is against the school rules. Not to mention that you would have had to gain access to the kitchens which is also prohibited?'

James elbowed Sirius sharply in the ribs, it was their age old way of communicating when they were in trouble, and usually it meant something along the lines of: "Sirius, you're the best liar, hurry up and get us out of this."

Warmth surged in Sirius' chest with the painful dig in the ribs. His friends needed him now. They needed his ability to charm and talk himself out of trouble like the rest of them could not.

Clearing his throat, Sirius took a small step forward, raised his head and looked directly into his headmaster's eyes.

'Well Sir, we just so happened to be exploring the castle before heading to dinner and just happened across this passageway when we heard the commotion beyond that door. Intrigued we looked through it and noticed the excellent work of some of the school's pranksters. I was just about to mention to James here how we should have thought of doing something like this. Though I am flattered that you would think that we were responsible.' When attempting to charm his way out of trouble Sirius had always found himself speaking far more eloquently, almost in a way his mother would be proud of if not for the situation.

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled. 'Is that so?'

'Yes Sir!' Peter piped up from his position slightly behind his other friends.

'Well in that case, perhaps you might be able to lend me your expert opinion on when this carnage might ease?'

They boys were now starting to get the impression that Dumbledore might let them off for their fun.

Remus stepped forward so that he was now level with Sirius. 'If it had been us Sir, we'd have made sure the spells wore off eventually.'

'And how long is eventually?'

'Another couple of minutes perhaps Sir.' Remus answered trying hard to conceal his grin.

'Very well. In which case I shall take my seat and await the end. I suggest you four do the same.' With that, he turned once more on his heel and strode through into the Great Hall.

The boys collapsed together with laughter once more.

'I can't believe we got away with that.' James breathed, clapping Sirius on the back in congratulations.

'We should move before McGonagall or someone tries to come through this way.' Remus said once they'd all regained their composure.

'A bit late for that I think Mr Lupin.' Called a stern voice from the doorway.

All four boys spun around so quickly they almost fell to the floor again.

James gulped. Dumbledore had let them off the hook, but there was no chance that McGonagall was going to do the same.

'I am to believe that this spellwork is your doing?'

None of the teens even blinked in reply. They were all equally glad the effects of the spells wore off in time too, they couldn't imagine talking to their head of year without breaking into laughter if she were still sporting furry cat ears.

'Very clever of you to start the subtle spells first. And your charms and transfiguration work it clearly very advanced for your age.'

The Marauders stared at her, eyes as wide as dinner plates. She was supposed to be disciplining them not commending them on their ability.

'It is good to see you all back to normal.' She commented before sweeping past them with a smile and heading back to her office.

It was a while before any of the boys could regain the ability to speak.

'Did that really just happen or did I imagine it?' Sirius asked faintly.

'I heard it too.' Remus said, just as faint.

'Can we leave before any more weird shit happens?' James said not waiting for a reply before stumbling back down the corridor.

The other three quickly followed, still giggling as they chased after their friend. Sirius had not felt so comfortable amongst his friends since before the Willow Incident.

~#~

As the next few days wore on, the boys were surprised to discover that there really were no repercussions from their prank, despite being caught twice!

Most of the spells wore off as they said they would though those inflicted with the voice charms took the rest of the night and Snape and Narcissa had to go and see Madam Pomfrey to have their animal appendages removed.

Revelling in their good luck, the Marauders launched back into their usual behaviour without a thought to what had happened between them. Sirius had almost entirely left behind his memories of home with only the occasional bad dream that he was now helped out of by his friends. He was quickly returning to the wild and rambunctious teenager that he had been this time the previous year.

James had received a reply from his parents saying that 'of course Sirius could live with them from now on.' And that 'under no uncertain terms was he to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas' and they 'will be gladly greeting him off the train with joy in time for their annual family get-together.'

While James blew raspberries at Remus in an 'I told you so' manner while Sirius' heart warmed at the words knowing that he was unconditionally accepted somewhere by people who barely knew him.

~#~

Three days before his seventeenth birthday, the 24th of September, Sirius was sat at the breakfast table a little bleary-eyed as he tried to engage with the waking world before his lessons started.

Peter had just received a care package of sweets from his mother and was in the process of passing it round when a late owl swooped through the upper windows of the Great Hall.

The deep black feathers caught the eye teachers and students alike, all of their eyes following its progress, wondering where on earth it was going to land. The teachers looked on with apprehension, most having a fair idea as to what that owl signified in this age of war. The Slytherins looked at one another expectantly when it became known that the owl was not a small Ministry sooty owl come to deliver news of another attack.

The owl finished its loop of the hall ensuring that every inhabitant had noticed its arrival. It sunk into a dive above the Gryffindor table before clapping Sirius sharply on the head with its wing and dropping a short note onto his plate. The now vaguely familiar owl came to land just in front of him, staring intently with its large red eyes.

Sirius looked down at the note, comprehension slowly dawning on him as he slowly opened the letter, sure that this would be the final of final demands from Voldemort himself.

Sure enough the letter contained only a few short words:

Your time has elapsed. Time to choose your side.
Lord Voldemort.

Sirius' eyes flitted over the Slytherin table seeking out his younger brother. He was sat between MacNair and Dolohov, across from Evan Rosier – all guaranteed to join the Dark Lord as soon as they could. Sirius' mind jumped back to his last night at Grimmauld Place when Regulus had practically announced his desire to join the Dark Lord. There was no point in Sirius joining Voldemort to protect his younger brother when Regulus would only join him as soon as he could.

The only real leverage Voldemort had on Sirius was empty. Sirius' decision was easy in the end.

Sirius had been so engrossed in his thoughts and actions that he had not noticed the rest of his housemates staring at him. Looking up, his eyes met James' whose eyebrows had knitted in confusion. The expression was so absurd that Sirius could not help the bubble of laughter the erupted from his lips. Soon enough the rest of the house table had gone back to minding their own breakfast and the rest of the school returned to their previous conversations.

'Oi Moony! Can I borrow that quill?' Remus had previously been going over his homework before turning it in first period.

'Sure?' Remus answered, passing his ink-filled quill to his still clearly happy friend.

Sirius wrote only two words on the back of the short letter:

Get stuffed.

Returning the quill with another laugh, Sirius attached the note to the large black owl's leg and watched as it beat its wings fiercely and took flight once more.

'What was that all about?' James asked, still wearing the same peculiar expression as earlier.

'Nothing Prongs. Just some prat asking for my help. Pass the bacon.' And with that the confusion melted off the raven haired boy's face to be replaced with the same laughter as his friend. James didn't understand the true meaning of his friend's words and he never would, but at that moment he saw his best friend laughing with him and was just glad that he had him back. Soon all four boys were joined together in their laughter though none truly knew what they were laughing over.

None of them noticed the twinkling gaze of their headmaster who watched on with growing pride at the boy who had finally completely defied his family.

~#~

And that's the official end.

I apologise endlessly the excuses are as follows: exams, travelling for a month, writer's block, laziness – you get the gist.

In apology I present to you a super-duper long chapter AND, if you're really lucky, there'll even be an epilogue in it for you. (I promise it'll be written in the course of this bank holiday weekend – if you don't have a bank holiday this weekend then it'll be posted by Monday). I promise.

Thanks for sticking with me for so long you all mean the world to me. Please review and let me know what you think even if you didn't like it.