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Chapter Text
« Come on Kira, it's time to go to school ! »
« Calm down Sarah, you're only stressing her out » shouted Felix from the bathroom door.
« Yeah yeah... Cos' are you playing tonight ? »
« Yes, that's why I'm crashing here, I can't work at my flat »
She was in front of her pc on the couch.
« This crap is not a flat, Cosima... You should take something better » said Felix while touching his hair.
« Yeah ? Then give me the money bro »
« I'm ready » said Kira. « Goodbye auntie Cosima »
« Bye monkey, and be good, okay ? Be the smartest one !'
« Always^^ »
« I love that kiddo » smiled the brunette with love in her eyes.
« You should have one too » said Felix after Kira and Sarah left.
« Do you have other brilliant ideas ? » smirked the girl.
« Okay, since I'm no longer wanted here, even if it's my home, I'm out of here... » sighed Felix.
« Such a drama queen... » laughed Cosima before putting her headphones on.
She needed a new track for tonight and it was blank page for now. She was a DJ at the « Downtown », a really nice bar in the center of the city. It was her second job, this one was pure joy because music was her passion, her way of expression. She was producing there for tw years now, and she began to have contacts, opportunities and fans. No mentionning that it was great to flirt with girls.
Tonight she felt like deep electro, lots of bass but with relax music on the background. It was like that each time she was doing a set, nothing was fixed, she wasn't attached to a certain type of music. Electro for tonight, heavy bass and girl's voice at the background. Why ?
Because she was composing eyes closed. And when she was closing her eyes, all she was seeing was Delphine. And with her she was hearing this music, so...
She spent two hours composing, nothing else existed and when she had finished it, she felt empty. Like if she had screams for several minutes and now she was voiceless. But it was good, pure creation.
« I want to go »
« I know, Helena, but only if you take a shower and dress » said Shioban
« I want to dance ! »
« Go shower ! »
She sighed as the blonde girl finally obey. It was rock'n roll with her, but Helena was also funny and appealing. She loved to go to Cosima's bar and dance when she was dJing, so proud of her sister. She was at the center of the dancefloor, swinging her arms around, not caring about the others. Cosima loved to see her lost in her music like that, she wasn't tied up with all the code of society, decorum. She was just living the music, the vibrations, the effects of the music on her inside.
Cosima was at the bar serving the beers to the new customers when she saw her sister come in.
« Hey Helena ! You came ! » she smiled.
« Sestra ! Yes, I took a shower »
« Ookay, cool^^ I'm playing music in 10 minutes okay, do you want something to drink ? »
« Yes ! Vodka !» she said as she put a bill on the counter.
« All right, but don't tell Shioban, kay ? »
« Okay »
The brunette looked at her sister goign at the back of the bar with a smile, she really liked Helena. She was a little different, but since the dreadlocks girl was a little out of this world too, they got along well.
« So, did you made a piece of art today ? »
« Indeed Fe, you'll see that in a minute » she grinned while giving him a Scotch.
It was a tradition, each time Cosima was Djing, everyone was coming and enjoying.
The brunette was busy with beers again when she saw her again. Delphine was coming into the bar and walking toward the counter. She was wearing a white and light tank, fluide and transparent ; and back slim jeans. Cosima could see her black bra underneath, it was... so damn sexy...
« Cosima ? »
The brunette regained herself and tried to look surprised.
« Delphine ? Hey ! »
« What are you doing here ? You work here as well ? »
« Hm well, yes. »
« Oh, je vois » (oh, I see)
Cosima smiled, the blonde sometimes seemed to forget english and it was really charming. She was really stupid about that accent thing with girls.
« What can I get you ? »
« Hm, martini please »
« Martini it is, you're gorgeous by the way » she grinned.
« Thank you » she blushed.
« Did you order without me ? » said a man coming next to Delphine.
« Ah yes, excuse me, hum Cosima ? Can you give him a beer please ? »
« Sure »
She was disappointed, but she kept smiling. Of course a woman like Delphine couldn't be alone, she was too beautiful for that. But five seconds and this guy already looked like a morron... She gave the beer only looking at Delphine, like there was no man between them.
« Cosima ! It's your turn ! » yelled Chris from the plateform.
« Yeah, all right ! » she yelled back.
« Stay » she smirked at Delphine « and dance ! »
Behind her pc, on the plateform, it was where she belonged. She could see her sister, already on the dancefloor, waiting for the sound, she could see Delphine chatting with the morron.
« Hey everyone, we're together again tonight. It's gonna be cool, so, whatever you're doing, drop it and come enjoy, get lost with me ! »
She put her headphones on, took a deep breath and began.
Those moments were pure joy, the music slowly began to flow, run out of the big speakers and suddenly the crowd began to move.
It was like after smoking pot, everything was slowler, sweeter and cooler... Helena was already in her trance, in the middle, alone. Then she looked at Delphine, she was finishing her drink and suddenly looked up at the plateform. They glared at each other and Cosima showed the dancefloor, inviting her to dance. The bass would come in a few seconds, and she didn't want Delphine to miss blonde smiled and let the guy talk alone, to go on the dancefloor, Cosima smiled and dropped the bass. Like always, she felt hudge shivers ran inside her body, music was so fucking good... When she opened her eyes again, she saw Delphine dancing downstairs, she was incredible. All her movements were graceful, like she was floating above everyone, like she knew the music before it played. She was perfect... It was an epiphany. She was perfect.
« Sestra ! Sestra ! This was really good ! » screamed Helena jumping around her.
« Yeah ? Thank you meathead, don't jump like this, you're gonna hit someone^^ »
She sat at the counter, asking a drink to recover. Each time is was an overflow of emotion, hard to deal with. It was her world, her creation, and she was exposing herself to everyone, the only moment she allowed it.
« Oh my holy queen, Cos' » smiled Felix ;
« Let me guess, it was crap »
« Don't be silly, at least there's something you're good at^^ »
He laughed and went to the toilet. The brunette sighed and stare at her drink.
« Cosima ? »
She jumped at the voice.
« Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... » said the blonde.
She was so close, it was strange.
« No, it's okay, I was daydreaming. »
« Hum, I just wanted to say... you know, that was great. Your music. »
« Oh, thank you. I saw you... dancing » said Cosima, finishing almost in a whisper.
« Yes well, I usually don't do that. But... »
« But ? »
« … This was amazing, so... » she blushed.
« Darling, where were you ? »
This guy again... She could swear she had seen the blonde tighten at his contact.
« Just dancing »
« Oh okay, can you come outside, there's someone I want you to met »
« Sure. Thank you again, Cosima. Ciao »
« Ciao... » she said as the blonde was already running away.
« But this isn't going anywhere Cosima, and you know it, right ? »
« I know, Ali, but... she's perfect »
Alison stopped her ironing, looking desperate.
« I don't want to be rude, but this isn't the first time you fall for a girl. And I've seen you when a straight girl doesn't want to end up with you. »
« Yeah yeah... Look, you're the only one I can talk with, I mean sarah would laugh, Felix is obsessed with sex and Helena is too... primitive for that. I keep telling myself that it's out of my league, she's far too beautiful and intelligent for me, and she has a boyfriend. But... I have to try. »
« And you expect me to find you a solution ? » asked Alison with a stiffly look.
« Yeah, obvs »
« What ?! Why ? »
« Maybe because when you needed money, you choose to become a drug dealer. I'd say you're full of original ideas^^ »
« Cosima ! Don't put it like that. I hadn't any other choice and it was for the best »
« Ali, it's in the name of love » she pouted.
« Holy Mary, why do you have to be so soppy all the time... » she sighed. « … Maybe I have an idea. »
« Shoot ! »
« But I don't know if it's gonna work. You might think it's weird... »
« Ali ! »
« Write an anonymous letter »
« Listen, you can talk to her, tell her what you think and how you see things but without all the boundaries, all the gender matter. At least you could see if she's into it, if she seems interested. If not you're out. »
« And if yes ? »
« Well... we'll see at the time »
Cosima took the time to think about it. She wasn't expecting this at all, but all her rational ideas sucked so she had come to Ali to have this kind of crazy ideas.
« Okay. I'm gonna do it man »
« This is creepy, Cos' »
« I don't think so, you know, it might even be romantic »
Felix sighed and sat in front of the dreadlocks girls.
« Look, Alison sometimes has weird ideas, what if you get caught, how are you gonna do all the anonymous shit ? »
« I'll be careful, as long as I don't say my name, talk about the things she knows about me, which is not so much... »
« Okay then, I have place to see, people to do... See you later ! And don't be too cheesy... » he said rolling her eyes.
« See ya ! »
She breathed and took a pen and a sheet of paper, and put her headphones on. She didn't know what to say, at all, it was a strange exercice, something coward and really intimate at the same time. The fact that Delphine wouldn't know the messenger didn't make things easier for Cosima. She wanted to say everything about her, about how she saw life, about what she loved and what she wanted, but the first letter should be an introduction, a little bit of her, that's all.
It was anonymous but the brunette wanted to write it by hand, it was more personal and Delphine didn't know her scripture anyway.
Dear Delphine,
It was a good start, pretty simple and correct.
T.S Eliot once said « Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go ».
This is a strange way of doing things but it is quiet enough to talk with you when the reality of life keeps us apart.
I like to think that this letter will casually stay in your purse and follow you all day, as if was me. I wonder what your daily life looks like, when do you smile and what makes you laugh. In the most darkest moments we should always have someone to make us laugh...
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, it was like when you stand in front of a piece of art and feel empty. How many times I felt this way, looking at an exquisite painting, wondering what was he purpose of life and if I could remember seeing something this beautiful... When I saw you it was the same feeling, a mixture of melancholy and reweakening.
Even if we don't meet again, I wanted you to know that you can bring that emotion in someone. You're the kind of person we never forget, we love until the end, and we protect with all the human strenght we're capable of.
You're the best in this world.
Belauensis.
This was done, she didn't want to read it again after she finished, otherwhise she would have throw it away. Maybe it was too intense, too direct or too serious, but it had come like this and now she had to deliver it.