Note: This is a parody, and is not to be taken seriously. We just wrote this for kicks. Review, nonetheless!
Alek couldn't believe his eyes: Deryn was leaning sexily against the door, wearing a tight-fitting black dress. It had a slit in it that went up to her mid-thigh and the back was entirely open. Deryn's long, blond hair, which she had grown out in order to stay fashionable, fell over her shoulders. It was so soft-looking that Alek yearned to run his fingers through him…
This certainly wasn't how Alek had expected his beautiful girlfriend to dress on their first date. (However, he was secretly pleased.)
Deryn smiled seductively at him, making Alek weak in the knees. "Shall we?" she said, walking down the stairs of her apartment. A hand was on her hip. Alek licked his lips in anticipation.
Deryn was right in front of him now. Her chest was pressed against his. She was still smiling that beautious, sexy smile of hers.
Alek was just about about to give her a passionate kiss (LIKE, OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD) when she pulled away. She was frowning now, and there were tears in her eyes. She sniffled and tried to wipe them away, but Alek caught her hand.
Wrapping his arm around her waist (LIKE, OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD), he said in a deep, gruff voice, "What is it, babe? I promise, whatever it is, I can beat it up in the parking lot of a local school building for you." His dark eyes were like windows into his soul. Like, brooding and mourning his losses? Brooding and Mourning His Losses was practically his middle the outside, he wasn't the most compassionate, but once you got to know him, he was totally chill. His parents had been killed in an accident, giving him that distant, bad-boy look that made Deryn go wild. She loved bad boys.
Deryn looked up at her super-sexy boyfriend. Her cerulean orbs bore into his...uh...brown ones. Her eyes were like the ocean, full of depth and emotion. No, not because they were blue—everybody knows that the ocean gets very emotional, and rain is the ocean's tears. At least, that's what the homeless psychic across the street says.
But anyway, back to her eyes: they were blue. The end.
"I can't," she sniffled, a single tear running down her cheek like a really sweaty Olympic gold medalist running down a track, or...something. So, really fast, I guess?
"Why can't you, babe?" Alek trailed his lips down her neck as Deryn cried softly. "You know that I would do anything for you. So why have you been so distant lately?"
"I just… Don't want to hurt you," she said.
Alek's eyes smoldered sexily. "Don't worry, Deryn. I'll protect you."
"But don't you understand?" she cried dramatically, covering her face with her hands. A passerby raised an eyebrow.
"I can't because… Because—"
"Just say what you need to say!"
"Because I'm a vampire!"
TO BE CONTINUED...