Number 4 of the challenge, and I'm sorry, I'm only good at my own twisted sense of humor. I'm actually really not happy with this one, but I need to move on. I'll explain the title for this toward the end. I do hope you still enjoy it though!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: Sasuke tries to keep himself apart from all his weird neighbors, but he can't really continue to ignore them when there is a loud scream from the room that is supposed to be empty.

Warnings: Spiders. Uh...swearing? And talking about spider insides.

Exploit

In a specific one story apartment, in a specific part of town, all the tenants had a specific nickname. The reason for this was because the walls were paper-thin. Even the tenants on the other side of the building could hear what was going on thanks to the pipes that covered the ceiling of the complex. Sasuke lived in the middle apartment on the south side. The apartment closest to the door connected to his was empty and had been since he moved in six months ago. The one on his other side, however, he wished was a different story. The first month he had lived there, he found that his neighbor was of the playboy variety. Every weekend he would have someone over at odd hours of the night, doing the horizontal tango. Sasuke eventually started leaving his iPod and earphones by his bed so he could drown out the noises. He seemed to like them loud, earning him the nickname the Showoff.

Directly across the hall from him, lived a couple that loved to argue all the time. He usually didn't hear it too much. Usually he heard most of it from the shower. He could also hear it if he had nothing on in his apartment. They were called the Whipped and the Master. The man that lived closest to the door was always leaving the apartment, especially when the arguments started up. It earned him the nickname the Runner. The last person in the apartment was a woman with three cats, two dachshunds, three goldfish, and a turtle. Her nickname was the Zookeeper.

Sasuke didn't come up with these nicknames. They were the ones he had heard the others use for each other. The nickname they gave him? The Ghost. Everyone in the building had seen him before, but the first one to see him had been his neighbor in the middle of the night when he was coming back with his new "buddy". Apparently, Sasuke had been so tired, he sent them one of his glares and moved right into his apartment without making any noise. It seemed to stick with the apartments residents since he was the quietest among them, and every time a new tenant had seen him, they had been startled, or just stood there staring at him.

He didn't mind really. He kept to himself, and didn't worry so much about the others opinions, but he did notice just how true their nicknames were. The Master seemed to be able to get everyone else to do things for her, they just didn't know it. On the other hand, sometimes after Master asked them to do something, they would turn around and get Whipped to do it. Showoff is always the first one to run to the landlord and spread around gossip. He was the one that thought of their nicknames in the first place from what Sasuke could tell. Runner would not only get out of there as fast as he could when the arguments started, but from what Sasuke could tell, he worked as a delivery man. Sasuke didn't know if there was anything more to Zookeeper since he avoided her the most, but he had heard her talking to her sister about how she wanted another dog.

For the last week, however, he could hardly listen to his fellow living mates. He had been busy with college finals, and he had been lucky enough to get a job offer at a local middle school. He always thought that kids at that age were interesting, and that they needed guidance. He also knew that they would think of him as Satan, making it rather hard to for him to give them the advice they needed. So between being Ghost, and going to start the next school year as Satan, he really didn't care for getting to know people and really didn't pay attention to those he was already around.

So on the Monday after finals and graduation was over, Sasuke decided to use the nice and quiet of having most of his neighbors out at their jobs and read a book. For fun. He hadn't been able to since the last summer break between the times he did curriculum writing for the first grade teacher he had worked with last semester. Ugh, first graders...and even worse, their teachers. Shaking his head, Sasuke settled into his recliner, a copy of Great Expectations being placed comfortably on his lap. Really he couldn't ask for much else. The best part was he was on salary still from his last student teaching job of the previous semester, and starting in July he was going to have the new teacher salary come through. He would be able to do a lot of the things he wanted to without having too worry too much about working. His orientation didn't start till the last week of July and school started up the last week of August.

He had been deep into the novel, a good 100 and some odd pages had passed, and right at the point where Pip's sister was attacked from the other side of the wall he heard an awful scream. The imagery of the book and his own mood since being awake pushed him into action immediately. He jumped to his feet, his imagination already running wild and heart beating rapidly. He knew he probably wasn't listening around him a lot, so anything could have been going on. His first thought was a squatter was being murdered in the empty apartment. On the other hand, it could have just been someone accidentally being scared by someone else. He was going to let it go and sit back down with his book until another scream rang out. Immediately, he started running.

He reached the door to the apartment next door, twisted the handle, and pushed hard, a little relieved to find that he wouldn't have to break a door down. He ran to the area he was hearing whimpers from and swung the door open. Immediately, all body functions froze and he couldn't get them to start up again. He couldn't believe he was seeing this, couldn't believe that he had bust through from his own apartment to find this in the next apartments bathroom.

A very blonde, very scared looking, and very naked man was standing in the bathtub, still wet from the shower that must have just been finished. The impossibly blue eyes were staring at him in shock and a little bit of fear and Sasuke couldn't help but notice that a little bit of pink had started to shade his cheeks. The only thing partially obscuring the view was the shower curtain hiding his lower body. There are only a few options now. He could just start apologizing, but really what would be the point in that? He could just turn around and walk away. No doubt his face had remained impassive, so really it wouldn't be that weird. It would probably add even more to the Ghost nickname though. Was that really a bad thing? It was more of just what he was.

The main idea that was taking up his mind was to just jump him. Muscles for days. And the water that fell from his hair and was all over his body making it glisten. Damn his libido. It had been so long since he had last gotten laid. It wasn't his fault he didn't enjoy one night stands! It was just so awkward when he tried to leave and they wanted to cuddle. It was an itch to scratch, not a full on becoming a couple.

His thoughts became interrupted and whatever decision he was going to land on was rendered useless as he noticed something move out of the corner of his eye. The blond jerked back at seeing the movement and made a muffled yell since he didn't open his mouth. The movement? A little tiny spider was sitting on the edge of the porcelain tub. Sasuke glanced back to the blond seeing him still cringing away from the spider.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, cursing in his luck, and grabbed a wad of toilet paper from the roll. He bunch it up, came up on the tiny creature slowly, and, once he was a few inches from the unsuspecting arachnid, he quickly slammed down the wad. He pinched the wad together hopefully squashing it between his fingers. He quickly opened it to check to make sure it was dead and upon seeing its guts spilled across the wad, threw it into the waste basket. He turned back toward the door to get back to his book and took a few steps when a large weight suddenly pressed into his back and something very strong squeezed around his chest. Before he had any idea what was going on, he was suddenly lifted up, the air in his lungs leaving in a sharp wheeze. After a few seconds his feet were on the ground again, and he was desperately trying to get air back into his lungs. He was manhandled again after a few deep breathes and was roughly turned to find a blond right in his face. Sasuke was stuck staring into really blue eyes. If he was more into poetry, he would probably find many sonnets trying to explain what he was seeing. It may have only lasted for a second before the blond moved away and started scratching the back of his head, a towel now wrapped around his hips.

"Uh...thanks. For... you know. Killing it." There was pink on his cheeks now, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He really wasn't very thrilled about being thrown around like a doll. The blond seemed to get over his embarrassment and his face broke out into a large grin, seeming to forget that he was mostly naked in front of a stranger. "The names Naruto."

Sasuke had enough. He could only stare at a pretty face for so long before that pretty face ended up not being able to cover the annoyance of the situation. He quickly turned and walked down the hallway. He heard a few sputters of the beginning of random words behind him as he walked back toward the wide open front door.

"What the hell!" And with that final shout, Sasuke closed the door behind him and headed toward his own apartment. A muffled shout following him. "ASSHOLE!"

~o~0~o~

Thursday arrived without much fanfare, and Sasuke knew that he would have to go to the library next week. He was already thru two of his five books he had bought at the beginning of his last semester, and those were the two biggest ones. He had just finished eating his lunch and had started putting his plate away in the dish washer when there was a knock on his door. He was going to ignore it but a longer series of knocks started as he closed the washer. With a long sigh he walked to the door and swung it open. He was a little shocked to find Naruto on the other side, but didn't show it.

"So, uh..." Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the pause. He seemed a little uncomfortable and kept shifting his gaze to the front door of his own apartment. He flushed a little but got a determined look as his gaze shifted back to Sasuke a final time. "I walked into my apartment and saw a spider on the wall. Can you please come kill it for me?"

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. Was he really being asked to kill a freaking spider by a grown man? Did he look like some sort of spider-savior? Naruto started to glare at the incredulous look Sasuke sported.

"Don't you even start. I just can't stand spiders, okay? I got bit by a wolf spider as a child and I...well I just can't be near them." Naruto scratched the back of his head in what must be a habit.

Sasuke shook his head as he pushed Naruto out of his doorway. Naruto opened his mouth to yell, but Sasuke walked out into the hall, closing his door behind him. Sasuke led the way down to his annoying and childish neighbors' apartment, thinking of all kinds of aggravated things to say. He opened the door and looked around on the walls, spotting it easily since the walls were all white. A tiny little brown spider was sitting about hip level on the left wall. Naruto grabbed his arm and shook it a little, pointing toward the spider. Sasuke shot him a quick glare, then took his shoe off. He carefully snuck up on it and slammed the shoe down on the wall. When he lifted it back up, a squashed spider greeted him.

"Oh man, I really don't know how to thank you, that's two spiders now." Sasuke slipped his shoe back on his foot, thankful that he doesn't like to take his shoes off in his apartment (who knows what the past tenants did on that floor) and that he had left that morning to go for groceries. He turned to leave, but Naruto was still blocking the door. "This might seem weird, but can I make you my personal spider killer? I really need one, and I've only had one or two conversations with the other guys living here, and you have already killed one spider for me and...uh...seen me mostly naked, so it would really help out if you would kill them, since I can't do it myself, and I just noticed I'm rambling so I'm going to stop and let you answer me."

Sasuke sighed and shrugged, knowing that his new neighbor would just come knock on his door when it happened anyway. Naruto let out a relieved breath and put a hand over his heart. "Thanks, Ghost, you're really the best."

Sasuke gave him an incredulous look. Did Naruto really use his dumb nickname on him? Obviously no one clued him into the fact that they don't actually call each other by those names. Wait. Did anyone in the apartment complex even know his name? Huh. Probably not because he could only remember ever talking to the landlord, and only knew about the names because of listening through the walls, door, and pipes. Maybe his nickname fit him a little too well.

"Don't give me that look, you're the one who never told me you're name. In fact, are you mute?" Naruto gave him an honest and curious look, and Sasuke let out a small huff. He grabbed the door and pushed past Naruto, pausing as he turned down the hall.

"Sasuke." As he walked down the hall, he didn't turn around to see the small smile on the blonds face, or the quick once over the blond did of his ass.

~o~0~o~

Sasuke was a little surprised on Friday to find another of those tiny spiders in his own apartment, but the weekend had been fairly calm, and he had done an early trip to the library on Sunday. The new books he got he hoped would last him about two weeks. It was now a Monday, and he figured he would do a little bit of curriculum work for the next school year. He didn't want to do very much, because he wasn't getting paid for the time, but better to be prepared for those 7th graders.

He heard the couple leave their apartment, in another argument, as he scratched at his ankle. He was working through a problem set in the textbook the principle wanted him to use, and was getting rather bored. He heard the argument stop and a greeting being exchanged, before quick knocks were assaulting his door. He sighed as the hope it would be at least a week before he had heard from his boisterous neighbor was crushed. He didn't usually hear the blond, but the times he did it always seemed to be at an uncomfortably high decibel when he was in the hall way, singing in the shower, or yelling at someone he supposed was in his living room from his bedroom (if not, then he would be really confused why he was having an argument with someone over the contents of his fridge).

Thinking about the consequences of so many spiders showing up in a week, though he must admit that he has seen them pretty frequently in the building even before the blond moved in, he moved to the still knocking door and opened it, almost getting a fist to the face. He saw the couple from across the hall staring in surprise at him and scowled at them. They quickly made their way out of the complex, forgetting whatever asinine argument they were having.

"Thank god you're home! I saw another spider and I was just going to ignore it, but when I walked back to my living room I couldn't find it and now I'm scared of being in my apartment so can I stay here for a little while and when I calm down can you come over and see if you can find it and kill it?"

"You ramble too much." But Sasuke still moved out of the way, already knowing that the blond probably wouldn't go away until Sasuke did something to help out.

"Well, I've always been talkative, and it makes sense that when I'm freaked out I open my mouth more." Naruto walked into the apartment and looked around. It didn't look much different than his so Sasuke didn't know what could be so fascinating. He supposed social conventions should kick in about now though.

"Would you like something to drink?" Sasuke walked back to his kitchen, hoping to grab himself some juice and put some distance between him and the blond. He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and opened the door, bending over to look in at what there was to drink. Naruto just so happened to walk in at that moment, and the only coherent thought in his mind at the moment was how gorgeous the view was. Sasuke had grabbed the juice and turned around, noticing that Naruto's gaze snapped to his face from somewhere else as he focused on him.

"Uh... what?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Whatever you just grabbed is fine."

Sasuke grabbed another glass, not noticing how awkward Naruto was acting. He started pouring the glass for him and himself, and Naruto stood in the doorway, trying to come up with some kind of conversation starter. Why was it so hard to talk to this quiet guy when he had never had a problem talking to anyone before?!

"So...what do you do for a living? I'm a physical therapist, personally. Gives me really odd and long hours. 's why I'm sometimes home at noon, and other times home at like 8. I was really lucky it only took two years of school, because I was pretty spent when I finished this past month." Sasuke handed him his glass, noticing that Naruto was rambling again. "Ah, but I graduated high school, like, six years ago, I just had to work to get enough money to go to secondary. Let me tell you, I've worked some real interesting jobs. One time I -"

"Teacher. I'm starting my first teaching job in August." Sasuke interrupted, figuring that he would keep talking if he didn't.

"Wow, really? And that's not too much talking for ya?" Naruto gave a smirk and took a drink, finding it to be some kind of cranberry something else mixture. Sasuke gave him a look and walked into his living room, sitting himself down on his couch. "What grade?"

"7th grade math." Naruto sat on the couch arm.

"Really? And they aren't too annoying for you?"

"When a person is in the middle of puberty, they are trying to find themselves. I just want to help direct them the right way."

Well Naruto could definitely say he wasn't expecting that. Sasuke glanced and noticed he was being stared at with incredulity. He turned away, a little bit of pink dusting his cheeks.

"That's pretty noble. Wish I could say I chose my job with that kind of thought, but really I just had to pick something short and that didn't require a lot of smarts."

"Being smart has nothing to do with intelligence. I know how to do calculus and multiple forms of algebra and geometry. You know how to get someone back on their feet after a life changing event. Both are important." Sasuke took another drink from his glass and noticed that Naruto wasn't saying anything. He set the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch and rubbed his hands together between his knees. The quiet continued as they drank from their glasses until Sasuke finished his off. "Should we go kill that spider?"

Naruto looked like he was going to say something, but instead downed the rest of his juice. He stood up off the couch and smiled at Sasuke. "I don't know if we will kill the spider, but sure, lets have you go spill its guts."

Sasuke led the way back into his kitchen and set his glass and the glass he grabbed from Naruto into the dishwasher. As they walked out of the apartment, the Showoff walked into the complex. He stopped at seeing them standing there and a somewhat quiet moment passed, before the Showoff took one hand out of his pocket and pointed between the two.

"Seriously, Naruto, how did you get the Ghost to interact with you?" Sasuke was not happy that he seemed to be the only one that they actually said the nickname of to their face. Though, he could admit he was being a little hypercritical considering he never gave anyone in the apartments his name. Naruto scratched at his chest a bit sparing Sasuke a quick glance.

"He's really not that bad, you just have to treat him like a person."

"Hard to treat someone that never talks to anyone like a person, plus...wait a second. Dude, you are really hot." the Showoff was looking right at Sasuke, obviously giving him a heated stare. Sasuke was definitely uncomfortable. The guy just insulted him and hit on him at the same time. How exactly did he get laid so frequently if this was how he acted? Maybe he relied on alcohol too much. Either way, Sasuke kept up his blank stare, and was about to walk away when Naruto spoke up.

"Did you really just do that? You can't just insult a person then randomly start hitting on them. If he wasn't insulted, I'm insulted for him." The Showoff gave Naruto a sour look, crossing his arms on his chest. Naruto set his own hands on his hips.

"Why don't you just go back into your apartment, I'm sure I have a lot to talk to him about."

"How about a big no. Now if you have nothing nice to say, we have important business in my apartment to handle. Come on, Sasuke."

Naruto walked off, making sure to grab Sasuke's arm and drag him with toward his door. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk as they passed the quite stunned man. Sasuke would be lying if he didn't say he was impressed. He had never been good at verbally defending himself, usually he would just let them talk and walk away, thinking that he didn't care what they said. He had to admire that Naruto could not only handle himself verbally, but would have the decency to help him out as well. He could feel Naruto still holding his wrist and felt warmth in his chest as the door to Naruto's apartment closed behind them. The connection stayed for a few seconds before Naruto gave it a little squeeze and let go.

"So, how do we find a tiny spider in this tiny apartment?" Naruto avoided looking at Sasuke, but he could still see a little pink dusting the tan cheeks. He decided to give Naruto some breathing room and started looking around for a tiny brown speck. Luckily, he saw a little speck near the bathroom and started walking that way. He walked toward it, Naruto crowding him a bit, and lost sight of it as it rounded the wall to the bathroom. He started looking around the bathroom, and saw a little spider sitting next to a crack in the sink.

Sasuke was a little curious because this was the same spider he kept seeing around his and Naruto's apartment and decided to take a picture. He started taking out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Naruto grabbed his shoulder, using Sasuke as a human spider-shield. Sasuke opened the camera app and got it rather close to the spider.

"Taking a picture. I've seen this spider in my own apartment and I want to see what kind it is." After Sasuke took the picture, the sound must have alerted the spider because it ran into the crack. Naruto jumped a bit at the quick movement and Sasuke put his phone away. Sasuke gentle pushed Naruto back and grabbed a wad of toilet paper as a killing instrument. He crouched down and got ready to open the bottom. Naruto crouched with him and peeked over his shoulder. Sasuke opened the bottom drawer, and Naruto screamed.

~o~0~o~

All seven of the tenants and the zoo animals were standing on the sidewalk in front of the apartment. Sasuke was rubbing his eyes next to Naruto, who was sending a heated glare to the Showoff. Turns out, their apartment had been infested with brown recluse spiders. None of them had noticed because the main area of infestation was in the wall between Naruto and Sasuke's apartment, and they could only get out of the wall mainly in Naruto's bathroom. Since the apartment had been empty for so long, no one noticed and the rest of them just put up with more spiders than normal. Sasuke thought it was a wonder none of them or the Zookeeper's animals got bit. The exterminator walked out of the apartment, a grim look on his face.

"I have good news, and some bad news. The good news is that we can get rid of the spiders. The bad news is it'll take us nearly a week and none of you can live in the apartment while its going on. We have your phone numbers from the landlord and he has promised to pro-rate your rent for the month because of this. We'll call when its safe again." And with that he walked over to his truck.

"Well, guess we get to live at my mother's house for awhile." The Whipped's face grew pasty white. The Zookeeper started carting her animals into her car, muttering something about having to live at her sisters with the brats. The Runner had left before anyone even noticed he was gone. Sasuke had hoped the Showoff would leave just as easily as the others, but he was wrong.

"Hey, Ghost, how about you and I share a hotel room together. It'll be cheaper and a lot more fun with two people." He supposed the look on his face was supposed to be a seductive smirk, but honestly, Sasuke never even turned to look. He had decided that focusing more on the text message to his brother was a good way to ignore him. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't have such a distraction.

"Do you ever get laid with awful come-ons like that?"

"I'm going to ignore the obvious cum joke, and answer with they aren't lame when they work."

"You know it doesn't count if they're drunk, right? In fact, I bet most of your 'conquests' can't even remember the night before. Your entire game is unoriginal." Naruto crossed his arms against his chest and sent a condescending smirk toward him. Sasuke had to bite his lip to not grin.

"Its definitely better than any game you have. Just ask Ghost who he hears with someone more often." Sasuke's phone went off just then and he checked to see if he got an answer to his question.

"Right, because listening to you and whoever you are with probably only lasts five seconds, he doesn't have time to walk away."

"You ASSHOLE! Who do you think you are?! You know what? You two deserve each other. An annoying asshole with a mouth the size of China, and a mute retard who has the social skills of Helen Keller!"

The Showoff barely got the last sentence out of his mouth before Naruto grabbed him by the collar and brought him close to his face.

"I don't care what you say about me, but that last comment was out of line!" Sasuke froze at the scene playing out before him, having no idea what to do. On the one hand, he really should stop it because he knew Naruto was close to decking the other guy. On the other hand, he really wanted to deck him too for the shit he was saying toward him and Naruto and it seemed easy to just let him fight this battle for him. In the end, it seemed his subconscious decided without him, and he reached out and grabbed the sleeve of Naruto's t-shirt.

"Naruto, he isn't worth the time. Let's go."

Naruto tightened his grip for a second before letting him go completely, clicking his tongue. The Showoff straightened his polo before walking off, throwing up a middle finger as he left. They stood there in a rather tense silence, not knowing what to say to the other when Sasuke's phone went off again. Naruto looked back at the apartment, scratching the back of his head as Sasuke checked the new message on his phone. He locked it back up and glanced at Naruto out of the corner of his eye, setting his mouth in a line. He didn't know what was happening to him, but he really wanted to spend more time with the blond.

"Well, guess I better go find a hotel." Naruto stuffed both of his hands into his jean pockets and lifted his gaze to the sky.

"You don't have anyone to stay with?"

"Nope. My parents live out on the east coast, and I haven't made good enough friends around here to ask for a place to stay."

"Why don't you come stay with me at my brothers." Sasuke blurted out, feeling the heat light his face with color. He mentally cursed a few times, letting his little crush on the blond affect his speech patterns. He didn't think he had spoken so much outside of a classroom in years! It seemed to be worth it though as he was rewarded with a smile that lit up Naruto's entire face.

In the years to come, Sasuke would think that it was at that exact moment that his life with Naruto was sealed. He knew that it was at that point that he had gotten hooked on that smile, and that Naruto became hooked on the smile that he had returned. For now, though, Sasuke just listened as Naruto told him about this one time that his friend in high school trashed his younger brothers room on accident as they walked toward their cars.

No offense to 1st grade teachers, I just imagine Sasuke not liking any elementary school teachers, too sweet. ;) So there you have it. I just think the pacing is off on this one, and I just can't look at it anymore. That's the main reason this one is so late, I just couldn't get it to flow the way I wanted to. Le sigh.

The reason I have this story for exploit is because Naruto is using Sasuke to kill spiders...and kind of exploiting that reason to be able to talk to him and get to know him. Its also a rather amusing story coming from Naruto's side, especially because he really likes everything about Sasuke he has seen and the amount of times he just has to stop and try to focus after thinking dat ass!

Anyway, I honestly don't have more to say about this story for once, and just know that I might be even slower in updating for about three weeks because work is going to get crazy stressful until the first of September with the school starting up again.

Next chapter will be boredom, and I'm using a prompt from Tumblr to write it.