Aria POV

This morning is bittersweet. I was so happy to be home, but plastering a fake smile when I felt like my soul was dead was so hard. I had to be strong for Ezra, for Wyatt and Lily, for this baby inside of me who will also never know their sister or brother. I could barley move my hands. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and opened up the door, without remembering turning the copper doorknob.

I made my way into the kitchen where my beautiful dark haired children were eating pop tarts with their amazing perfect father. I placed my little daughter in my arms, and held her tightly. She wrapped her short arms around my neck.

"Mommy?" Wyatt asked. "Isn't it your birthday soon?" I smiled, he remembered. I had forgotten about it, but my 28th birthday was this week. By the look on Ezra's face, he hadn't forgotten either.

"Yes sweetie,"

"What do you want?" Wyatt asked. I told him what I told him every year. I was so happy with just a birthday card, if he made it. He was so sweet, never forgetting anything, he was just like Ezra, so caring. I wish he grows up to be just like him. At the moment, I feel a soft kick coming from my abdomen. I was already 3 months pregnant...with only one child. She, he, looked healthy. The doctors said it he, she, it may not make it. But my baby is resilient. Nothing can stop it.

"Ezra!" I yelled out! I placed his hands on my stomach, and he laughed. I remember how he was when he first felt Wyatt kick. He burst into tears. I think thats when it really sank in that there was a real person in there. After a wonderful breakfast, I told Ezra I was going to get dressed for work.

"You're going to work?!" he asked surprised, "Isn't it a little too early for that?" he asked. I shook my head at him appalled.

"NO! I've been out for weeks, I need to go back. They are having a hard time finding subs!" I turned on my heel and headed up the carpeted stairs. I was left alone with my thoughts. I wish I hadn't left Ezra. I couldn't leave him. When I was in our room, I just sat on the bed, and placed my head in my hands. Tears ran down my face. What would my baby have been like? Why would I drive when I was sick? How could I have done that, I'm so stupid! The more I thought about it the more I blamed myself. The more I wanted to die. The harder I cried.

"Aria?" I heard Ezra ask from the other side of the door. He walked in and sat down next to me on the bed, he put his arms around me. How could he even bear to look at me? I was damaged, horrible, monster. "Aria, are you okay?" he asked me, looking deep into my eyes. I nodded, still crying silently, tears rolling down my face. He held me for so long. He held me so tight I thought I would pass out. It was strangely comforting. I loved him. How could he love someone like me. Pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear, he smiled at me, and made me feel...loved.

Would I be able to do this? Could I get passed this? I don't know if I could even think about it anymore. I need to put this behind me. But how can I when anytime I look at my family I see the baby? How can I do this?

"I need to get dressed," I told him. I sat up straight, and changed into a black shirt, and grabbed a pencil skirt. I tried to zip it up, but it wouldn't go past my hips. "God dammit!" I screamed, ripping it off. Ezra rushed to me, and pulled out another elastic skirt.

"It's okay!" he said. I began to cry, as he put the skirt on me. He held me in his arms, and rocked me back in forth, telling me everything was going to be okay. And in the first time ever...I didn't believe him.