Decisions and Desires

Chapter 2

Sleep had eluded her and finally, just before daylight, she gave up trying. Slipping her arms into a long blue cotton robe and tying her hair back in a rough pony tail, she went downstairs to make a pot of coffee. Perhaps it was still early enough that she could drink at least one cup before the bar help arrived and opened the doors to Front Street, allowing the rest of the world to come inside. It seemed she had hardly seated herself at her usual table and poured the fresh hot liquid into a blue china cup when Clem unlocked the front door and entered. He was surprised to see his boss up so early.

"Good morning Miss Kitty! I don't often see you at this time of day."

"I couldn't sleep and got tired of laying there trying."

The barkeep went to hang up his coat, then came back and started pulling chairs from the tables where they had been stacked the night before. Kitty didn't even hear him as he continued to work. Her mind was still on trying to understand what had happened to her life.

Up until a few weeks ago she had truly believed that the man she loved returned those feelings and that one day, maybe somewhere in the distant future, he would give up that badge and they would make a home together. Now she was not so sure. Looking back she had seen a big change in him recently. She knew he was overworked, but that had often been the case in the past and he had never acted the way he did that ill fated night. She couldn't believe that all the feelings and good times they had shared could just be thrown away like that. Had he really just been using her like some kind of high class call girl? She really didn't think so but for this last month or so it had sure seemed like it. Maybe she should talk about it with Doc, he was the only person she could really discuss things like this with - even then it would be difficult.

She got up from the table and went upstairs to dress and get ready to face another day. She wished Matt would come back, she needed to talk with him and try and find out what was really going on. The problem was that, of late, talking to Matt Dillon had been a lot more difficult than usual.

It was an hour later before she descended the stairs for the second time that morning. There was one lone figure propping up the bar and talking to Clem. He turned as he heard her footsteps.

Arlo Johnson tilted his hat back on his head with his right hand and smiled at her in much the same way as someone else she knew. Or thought she knew - she corrected herself.

"I didn't think you'd be around this early, Kitty," he greeted her.

"Hi there Arlo," she replied as she walked over to him, a smile on her lips just like this was any other day.

"Maybe you'd let me take you to breakfast if you haven't eaten yet."

Kitty got invited to eat with all manner of men and thought nothing much about it.

"I'd love to. I think Clem can manage for an hour or so."

It was a little strange walking along Front Street with his hand at first on her elbow as he escorted her along, and then as they approached Delmonico's feeling a familiar light pressure in the small of her back as he ushered her inside.

They sat at a quiet table in the corner to the left of the door and after their order had been placed he leaned across the table and looked at her. She found those green eyes to be quite deep and searching.

"I asked you to eat with me so I could..., " he hesitated a moment looking for the right words. Of course she was used to that. He started his explanation again.

"I am going to buy a piece of land near the South Platt River, not to far from Colorado Springs." he continued, "I'm leaving on the Santa Fe tomorrow to finalize the deal."

For a moment she felt sad that he was leaving. He had been around a lot these last few days and she had enjoyed his easy company and all his cattle drive stories. It had also helped to distract her from the other events in her life.

"I'll be sorry to see you leave Arlo."

"The fact is Kitty I was going to ask if you would like to come with me."

He was studying the cup in front of him in great detail. Eventually he looked up, searching her face for a reaction.

"It would mean you being away from Dodge for a week and I know that might be a problem for you. On the other hand now that all the drovers have left, maybe you could manage it."

He smiled at her, part pleading, part laughing and a little embarrassed. He paused, giving her time to consider his proposition.

"I haven't had all that many business dealings with property in the past and I thought you wouldn't mind just looking over papers and things with me," he added

It seemed a strange request but on the other hand she hadn't had a vacation in a long time and Sam was well able to handle the Long Branch for a week. With Matt being gone and her having no idea when or to be honest, if, he would return, it would certainly help pass the time.

"Let me check with Sam and make sure he'll be around. Other than that I think I would love to take a trip on the Santa Fe."

ooo000ooo

The train journey turned out to be a lot more fun than she had expected. Arlo had everything planned to make it as easy for her as possible. He had a buggy come pick her and her bags up from the Long Branch and take them to the train. He had booked a small first class compartment for them and arranged for meals in the new dining car. Once or twice her mind had slipped back to wondering what Matt was doing, was he all right? Maybe he was heading home as she was heading west. Perhaps it might wake him up a little if she wasn't there waiting for him when he showed up.

They were eating supper in the dining car. White tablecloths and fine china accentuated the New Orleans style meal which had been accompanied by a very fine wine served in crystal glasses. She found herself very relaxed talking to this man she hardly knew. She had seen him come in off the trail looking weary and saddle worn but now he was dressed in a white shirt and string tie. He still wore jeans and boots but no gun belt, and best of all, no badge.

She studied his face while he explained his plan to purchase something like 500 acres of land, and start gathering a few beeves and horses. His eyes smiled softly as he described how he would establish a fine breeding herd, raising and training horses with a good bloodline. He didn't expect to make a fortune but thought he would be able to support a family in reasonable comfort. She was still watching his face when she felt his hand touching hers across the table. It was not an unpleasant sensation and she couldn't be sure that it had not been by accident. She looked at his hand as it rested now on the white tablecloth, just a few inches from her own. Definitely a calloused work hand, remarkably similar to another hand she was more familiar with. She wondered if this one could be as gentle and comforting while she tried to bring her mind back to what he was saying.

"I've found this fine Morgan stud at a ranch down on the Arkansas, not too far from Dodge City. If I buy this land I will go back and get him and a couple of breeding mares besides."

He had stopped for a moment while she was still studying their hands lying so close together on the table top.

"Kitty, did you hear me?"

She was pulled back to reality.

"I'm sorry. I did, but my mind was distracted for a moment."

"Are you worried about the Long Branch?"

She could have accepted that as an excuse, but felt that she should at least be honest with him.

"No Arlo, I was just wondering about a friend of mine, you remind me of him in many ways. Please forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive, I shouldn't talk so much about horses when I am in the company of a beautiful lady."

She laughed to herself at that, thinking that horses was a pretty innocent topic compared with many of the conversations she had had with men.

It was easy to be relaxed in Arlo's company. There were often periods of silence while both of them gazed out of the window, but it was not an uncomfortable silence, it was the silence of friends just enjoying each others quiet presence. When it came to evening they talked and laughed over a simple meal followed by a shot or two of Napoleon Brandy. Afterwards he had escorted her back to the compartment. He did not stay there himself, saying that he would find other arrangements, the whole compartment was hers for the night. She was grateful for that. Much as she had enjoyed his company, she was not sure that she was ready for anything more intimate. At the back of her mind, the man she had loved for so many years was still a presence to be dealt with.

The relentless rattle and sway of the train let her know that she was being carried farther and farther from Dodge City and all the friends she had there. Farther from the home she had known for many years now. She raised the window blind and by lowering the wick on the lamp she could look out and see the myriad of stars shining through a crystal clear night. Occasionally a cloud of smoke from the engine would obscure them from her sight, but she knew they remained hanging there just the same. It was something like that between her and Matt. Often times he was gone, removed from her sight by the miles between them, but she always knew he was still there, thinking about her and wanting to return. It had not been quite the same this time. Never before had she had doubts about his true feelings, but now it was as if that badge had taken total control over him.

She lowered the shade once more, shutting out the night sky and trying, at the same time, to clear those thoughts from her mind. She had deliberately brought a very modest night gown which she now laid out on the bed that had been made up for her then set about her night time routine of removing makeup from her face and brushing her hair. She knew sleep was not going to come easily, so did not try to hurry.

TBC