Chapter 5

A cold and stoic Jane turned up to the crime scene. Nothing would stop her today. Not even death would stop her today. She lifted the police tape over her head and took no notice of the people around her. They may as well have been invisible. No one had gone down to the body; they were all waiting for Jane. And they were all waiting for a Medical Examiner to be contacted. Words were exchanged and people gave her greetings, but she was not with any of them. She was with the woman who was at the bottom of the hill they were standing on off of the highway. She was facedown in the dirt, half buried, with nothing concealing her. Going into autopilot Jane asked for a body bag so that she might cover the woman and preserve some of the evidence.

The wind began to blow and leaves were blown off of her face and back. Honey-blonde hair began to fly in the wind, the only part of her that seemed alive. No thoughts crossed her mind when her feet began to carry her towards the victim. In a moment Frost's hands were at her elbows pulling her back, asking her to wait until someone got an ID. But she wrenched her hands away from him with a strength that surprised him and growled: "Don't touch me."

It was not a long walk but by the time Jane got close enough, with no one behind her, she was completely out of breath and her body felt heavy. Her steps became laboured and she walked around to the victim so that she might see her face.

Jane removed the remaining leaves and debris and fell to her knees, her head hanging low, and every part of her giving up. When Frost and Korsak heard her scream they told everyone to stay back and they both ran down to Jane. There were tears covering her face and her scream still lingered on the air making it heavy. Frost came up behind Jane and Korsak lingered back, not trusting himself with the situation.

Before Frost looked at the woman in the dirt he stepped in front of Jane and lifted her up to him. She was whispering something he couldn't understand.

"It's not her. It's not her. It's not her. It's not her."

He turned and saw that the woman in the ground was not Maura. It wasn't her.

Jane fell against him and cried. She cried hard and her body went limp in his arms. Jane was beginning to lose herself, to break and the only person who they knew could bring her back from the precipice that her job forced her to, wasn't here.

Maura awoke when she felt a tickle on her cheek. Lips were close to her skin and she could feel a warm breath.

"Morning Jane." It came out slowly and full of sleep.

But then a rough hand cupped her face and her eyes shot open. The memories of the past month rushed through her head and forced the beauty of her dreams out. Jane was not here.

"Jack." Her voice was disappointed and it had lost all of the force that it had once carried.

The smug look on his face only fuelled the anger that had been building up for the last four weeks. If it had not been for the meeting that Jack had forced her to be a part of she would have run far from here many days ago. Except everything had become real in that meeting room. She had waited with Jack for 'the visitor' and could not hold back the gasp that forced itself into her mouth when she finally found out who it was that they had been waiting for.

"Paddy."

"Hi Maura."

For the longest time Angela Rizzoli had watched Jane and Maura grow closer and closer together. The moment that Jane had introduced them Angela fell in love with the young doctor. And although the girls had worked to hide what they shared, Angela had always been acutely aware of the sparkle that Maura brought out in Jane's eye. She had always hoped that someday the two might decide to tell her what was going on, but she understood why they had not.

In the beginning she thought that it would be so very strange, Jane falling in love with a woman. She had been brought up in a world where that was thought sinful and wrong. But Jane had been brought up in a world where it was becoming understood that falling in love had no preference for gender, ethnicity, religion or age. But when Angela saw how different Jane was with Maura, she couldn't help but let herself fill with happiness. The happiness of her daughter mattered more to her than the fallacies that had filled her early life. And so she had waited and dreamt of the day that she would finally be able to embrace them both and tell them that she loved them and only wished for their happiness.

But now she looked over at her daughter, sitting on her couch at home, curled into a ball, looking even smaller than she had as a child. The jersey that she had bought for Maura was wrapped in her hand so tight Angela thought it might rip. Then again, her daughter was wound so tight that she was afraid if anything else happened she would be torn in two as well.

Jane closed her eyes and held the jersey to her nose. Maura was fading from the clothes she wore just as she was fading away from Jane. Eventually her mother would leave and Jane would be left alone in her home. Angela never wanted to go but she could not ignore the pleading that she saw in Jane's eyes for solitude. In a few hours Jane would stand and wander aimlessly through the walls that encased her, searching for a fingerprint, a breath that Maura may have left behind.

She would find nothing.

Maura's mind was racing. She couldn't steady her breath and her hands began to shake and then feel numb. Why was Paddy here? He hadn't spoken to her in months. He was supposed to be in police custody, awaiting the trial for his RICO case. How did he get out?

"Maura I know it's been a while and this may come as a shock but you know that I have only ever worked to look after you."

"I can look after myself."

"Ok let's get this family reunion over and done with shall we?"

"Shut up Jack." It was Paddy and his voice held a warning in it. Maura had never seen someone act superior to her husband and for a moment it filled her with a slight satisfaction.

"What are you doing here Paddy?"

"Jack called me, said he needed a hand with something."

"How the hell do you know my husband?"

"Oh me and Paddy go way back Maura."

"Well that explains a lot."

They seemed to be done with her so when they exited the room she lowered her head and tried to concentrate on what exactly was going on, trying to put the pieces together. She was travelling with Jack and he had obviously drugged her and brought her to some house in the middle of nowhere she could recognise. She was tied to a chair and her father was here. Her father knew her husband. She could understand why Jack was doing all of this, but she had no idea of her father's stake in any of it. If Jane had not found her by now then they were definitely travelling in a stolen or unregistered vehicle and Jack was only using cash. Although Paddy's presence meant that he still had people within the Boston PD.

Jane.

Was Jack about to go back on his promise? The normally passive doctor was suddenly filled with such rage and then a profound sadness. If Jane hadn't found anything by now, she would be destroying herself trying to catch a lead, trying to 'solve the case'. Maura could see it so clearly in her mind, Jane not eating, Jane not sleeping, Jane working until she passed out. Before she could stop herself she was pulling against the ropes that held her and letting out a scream of frustration unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Somehow she would get out of this and she would find her way back to Jane. She would do anything.

In the evening she was moved by Paddy to another room in the house with a bed and a door that was locked from the outside. Before he left she decided to take a chance and go with her gut.

"Why are you here Paddy?"

"Because I am looking out for my daughter."

"That's bullshit."

"Maura you need to do what you're good at. Look at the evidence, what does it tell you?"

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"I am only here to do what is right for my daughter."

He handed her a small wallet that had photos of her throughout her life. When she was a baby, her school photos, and her college graduation. And then despite what she thought would come next; there were photos of herself and Jane. She never realised how happy she had looked next to the brunette.

"I am only here to do what is right for you Maura, that is all I have ever done."

Then Paddy took back the wallet and left the room, locking it behind him.

Maura went and laid on the bed and for the first time in her life, she was glad to have her father with her.

When Jane got back into the bullpen at BPD Cavanaugh came out of his office and quietly pulled her aside, asking her to come into his office to talk to him. She knew what this would be about. Everyone could see it. Jane looked dejected and empty. Her head hung low and there was nothing behind her eyes. Even detective Crow knew not to give her any of his usual snipes at this time, he simply walked past her, never making eye contact.

"Jane, Frost told me what happened today."

"Ok."

"Rizzoli you're way too close to this and I am worried about you. You're off this case and I want you to take some time off as well."

"What did you just say to me?"

Despite her face looking empty, she still retained the fire that was her signature.

"Come on Rizzoli, don't make this any harder than it has to be. This is for your own good."

"And what about her?! Who is gonna find her if you don't let me work?!" Her voice was rising and she stood up, slamming her hands on the lieutenant's desk.

He took a deep breath and stood slowly.

"I know that there is no other way to keep you away from here Jane but its what I have to do. I don't want you to ignore what I am about to say and I want you to know that it is my last resort."

He let a moment pass while she calmed down slightly and then he told her what he had been dreading for the past few hours.

"Give me your badge, detective."

She looked at him with betrayal in her eyes and a sinking feeling in her heart. The air in the small office suddenly became heavy. Despite the sunlight that was streaming in through the window there was a darkness that draped over everything that Jane ran her eyes over. Without moving her eyes from Cavanaugh's, she removed her badge from its place on her belt and she slammed it down on the table with such force as to cause the older man to flinch.

Without another word she turned and left his office, not speaking a word to anyone. When she was in the elevator she pressed the button for the lobby and she walked out of the BPD, stood on the steps and ran her hand along the cool metal of her gun that still remained in its holster. Jane was being pushed closer and closer to an edge she had never seen before and she could feel that this fight was coming closer to its conclusion. She would either find Maura or she would give everything up. Because a world without Maura Isles was not the place that Jane ever wished to be.

Jane went home and took off her suit, changing it for a pair of skinny jeans and a black V-neck tee. She pulled on some black boots and a leather jacket. Her gun remained at her side and before she left she pulled her sunglasses over her eyes and prepared herself for what she was about to do and for the potential consequences.

During their investigation they did not have enough evidence to be able to start a real search into Jack and his background. They had not been able to question his family or friends. But now Jane had had enough and she did not want to follow any more rules.

She scoffed at the size of Jack's parents house. She felt a moment of pain in her chest as she remembered the last time she had been at a house of this magnitude she had made Downton Abbey jokes for Maura.

She announced herself with the knocker on the door and waited with her hands behind her back. Jack's father answered the door and she noticed a moment of disappointment when he recognised who she was.

"Hello Mr Armstrong." She didn't ask if she could come in because she knew that she would be met with a less than tasteful answer.

"Detective."

"I am not in the mood for games Sir so I am just going to cut to the chase. Do you know where Jack is?"

"No."

"Have you been in contact with him recently?"

"No."

"Do you know where Maura is?" And as the name left her mouth her body stiffened and the slightest smile played across the older mans lips.