Chapter 7

"Paddy you are going to sit back down and tell me everything I need to know. Don't even try to talk me out of it or give me any reasons that will make me think you can handle all of this and bring her back to me. We both know that I will be the one to bring her home even if it kills me and if you're not gonna help then you're just in the way and the last few days have not fared well for people who have stood in between Maura and I. So sit down, and start talking."

The older man had always respected Jane and even more so now. She was truly in love with his daughter and she was prepared to fight her way through any hell that might bring Maura home. But he knew that he couldn't let her. He knew that it had to be him to face the fire so that Maura might have someone left in the world that would love her more than life like Jane did. He decided to give her the information she so as to lull her into security and then make his escape back to Maura.

"Ok Jane. I'll tell you. Jack's family and the mob have been involved with each other for years. I knew his grandfather and his great grandfather was involved with Patrick Sr. When we gave Maura up we never expected that anything would happen the way that it had. Constance and her husband were never involved with the Armstrong's until after Maura was theirs. And after she wasn't mine anymore I couldn't risk intervening. It wasn't safe. They couldn't know. But somewhere, someone put together the puzzle and it made its way down the Armstrong line to Jack's father. Being the snake that he is he always used Maura as leverage over me. And so I always obliged. Even when he said that Jack and Maura would be married. I tried to keep her as safe as I could in probably the most dangerous place she might have found herself. She had begun to live her life, she was finishing her degree, making friends and it felt wrong to rip her out of all of that. I thought that maybe Jack would be a better man than his father and for a long time I couldn't get any information from behind those closed doors. I always kept a track of her as best I could but when I went into hiding it made things very difficult."

He paused for a moment and Jane could see that he was struggling. He was normally so in control, so able to keep everyone in front of him and be ten steps ahead. But now everything had been turned upside down and he was trying to right it all again himself.

"Jack called me one day, I have no idea how that little shit got my number but he started talking about Maura straight away so I had to listen. He kept saying that she was in trouble, that she had started hanging out with someone who was getting her into things that she had no place in. this was just as the two of you had gotten together. I had no idea that he was talking about you and what he had planned and so I obliged him. I only learned after it was too late that I had made a mistake. I began to work out how I would save her and so got Jack exactly where I needed him in order to get her back. He thinks that he has devised this master plan to take her from you but I have planted all of these ideas in his head in the hope that his arrogance might cloud his judgement and let me end him."

"You knew about the two of us?"

"I've been looking out for her Jane, for her whole life. As soon as you met her and began to become a part of her life I had to make sure that you would be good for her. And then I realised that you were the person she needed, the person that could be around her and protect her when I couldn't. I know you love her and that she loves you. But this is something that I have to do myself. I can save her Jane and I can bring Jack down. And if I do this my way then everyone will be safe because the Armstrong's will never risk this kind of exposure and I can hold it all above their heads if ever they try and cross me again. I just need you to let me and trust me with her. I am fighting for the greater good Jane, just like you do but I have to do it in my own way."

"Maura is the greatest good."

"I know."

Paddy then reached into his pocket and pulled out the small pocket book of photos that he had shown Maura earlier. He handed it to the detective and she reached out with a small wince of pain. As she opened the book and saw the baby picture of Maura and the school photos that showed her as a young and hopeful child with light in her eyes her face softened and she let out that smile that was only reserved for the honey blonde. She whispered her name and flipped the page to the last photos. The two of them. They were walking arm in arm, Maura resting her head on Jane's shoulder. The photo was taken from behind them and Jane loved how it showed that their arms were intertwined but Maura's right hand was placed securely in the back pocket of the brunette's jeans. She could almost see the happiness that radiated off of them when they were together.

Tears stung the backs of her eyes as she handed the picture book back to Paddy. And as she brought her hand back to her lap and fingered the space where her badge might have normally rested, the magnitude of the events that had occurred and that would come to pass washed over her and tears began to slowly stream down her eyes, tears created only from sadness.

"It's all my fault. If I had stayed away from her and from him then she would be safe. I might as well have put her in danger myself Paddy. I went about it all wrong. I took her from her marriage but she always said that she never really was. She always said that marriage was born out of love. And I know that's true, I know it. I always believed that she was put in the world just for me. From the very first moment we met something happened to me, some hope came alive that the world was so much more than what I dealt with every day. She made it so that staying in bed all day became better than anything I might have ever hoped for. And I always told her that she never ruined anything with Jack, that he had ruined it first. She tried so hard. She only ever wanted to live, to have a life and he only ever worked to keep her from it. I always had myself convinced that I was what she needed, what was good for her, but look what's come of it, everything that's happened."

Her speech was muddled and lacked sense. She was out of order and it was like she didn't know how she really felt. Maura had always been the one to ground her and to centre her thoughts, but now, she didn't know which way was up or what to think. The older man could see it and he attempted to console her in a way that he had never been consoled. There were words that he had wished to hear when Hope had entered his life, instead of the berating that he had received from his father.

Jane prepared herself and waited for Paddy to begin.

The wood made contact with the glass and the pane cracked but remained strong. She waited for a minute to make sure that she could hear no footsteps or noises that signalled Jack's awareness as to something going on. When she could be as certain as possible that he had not heard anything, she once again slammed the drawer into the window. She could feel small splinters from the old wood digging into her hands.

After four slams into the glass she could tell that the next one would send the shards into the outside that she so longed for. And with the thought of freedom and Jane on her mind she gathered all the remaining strength that she had and sent the wood towards the broken glass one last time. The wood then began to move through the space that had just been created by the destruction of the glass and Maura watched as the world began to move in slow motion and small pieces of clear sharpness cut their way across her skin. The shards reflected late afternoon sunlight for a moment and then flew out and down into the world. What Maura never saw was the metal awning that hung a few metres below her window. Glass made contact with metal and rang out, destroying the silence that had been a permanent feature of this place.

And that was when she hears the loud thump of a chair downstairs and footsteps quickening in the pace up the flight of stairs. She quickly moved behind the door knowing that Jack would only be running on rage and so he would not be careful or even thinking ahead. This would be her chance to catch him by surprise and put herself in a position of power.

The sound of feet on floorboards began to get louder and Maura became more and more prepared. Her grip on the drawer was strong and her convictions were all behind her, making her brave and allowing her focus to become concentrated only on what she had to do to get out of here and nothing else. All that would have to come later, she didn't have the strength to think about all of the 'what if's'.

The old door was kicked in violently and Jack screamed her name, the anger leaking out of his words and coating the room in heaviness. He rushed in and just as his second step touched the floor, a brown blur came around and connected with the side of his head taking him completely by surprise. The force of the blow sent him straight to the ground and a gun flew out of his hand and into the far corner of the room. She was about to make her way for it but Jack moved his head and tried to roll himself onto his back. Her instincts took over and she slammed him one more time with the old drawer. It broke in her hands with the force of her attack. Jack stopped moving but was only knocked out. Blood was pouring down the side of his face.

She stood there a moment, looking down at him and she realised that this is what he felt. She was feeling the adrenalin rush through her system, the power and the strength. She knew what he felt every time he had stood over her, incited her with fear and belittled her. It felt like superiority and force. But it was dark. She looked down at the man on the floor and it only reminded her of what Jane had said to her in the past; how Jane had reminded her and made her believe that she was good and that, most importantly, she was loved, unconditionally.

"You are nothing like him."

"I don't…I don't know Jane, I was a weird kid."

"Were you killing small animals?"

"No, but I dissected a lot of frogs."

"No, that's different."

"I just, I started to think about things that I never really thought about before."

"Here it comes, there are bodies buried in your basement."

"I spent a lot of time alone. You know, I was adopted and my father was a professor and my mother she came from a wealthy family, I was an only child. I just realised something when I was reading about Hoyt that just never occurred to me before. There was a lot of benign neglect. Its not that they didn't love me, its just that I didn't ask for much, I don't think I really knew how. And the less that I would ask for, the less time that they had for me. They were just very involved in their own lives and into each other; they sent me to boarding school when I was 10. I actually think that I sent away for the brochure myself. They were delighted. Its just…I was really lost."

And Jane reached forward and almost whispered 'Come here' and she took Maura's hands so gently, it was more intimate than anything that they could have done together.

"No matter what happened to you, you are nothing like that monster, ok? Yeah, you're a little antisocial maybe, a little goofy; that's…that's not the same thing. Man we're a pair."

"Thank you."

She dropped the small shard of wood that had stayed in her hand and stepped over Jack to pick up the gun. Jane had taught her how to use them and so she removed the clip and put it in her back pocket. She held onto the gun and walked back over to Jack, crouching over him and reaching into his pockets trying to find the key to the room. She locked the door behind her and slowly made her way down the stairs.

"Maura is the greatest thing that I have ever done. She is so perfect. But Hope is and will always be my greatest gift. I imagine that you feel the same way about Maura. But don't give it up Jane because of how you feel about yourself. I had nothing to offer her, she was on her way to becoming a doctor and I had nothing to my name, just a future in a life of crime. But I think she saw past that, she saw the man that I so desperately wanted to be for her. Except I was a coward and I didn't love her as much as I could have. I could say that I sacrificed happiness but it's not true, I was a coward and gave it up. And my father told me that she didn't mean as much as I thought and eventually I would realise that she was just another girl. That never happened. If she is the greatest thing that has ever happened to you Jane, you have to keep fighting. She loves you, I've seen it. And you might think that you have nothing to give her, nothing to offer, but all of the things that money might buy her she doesn't care for, she wants the things that money will never buy, like time with the woman that she loves. You should know by now that those things mean nothing to her and that you mean everything. Anyway, the point is, if I could go back and do it over again, do it the right way, I would do it in a heartbeat. I would change everything except for Maura and Hope, I would be better for them. You should do the same Jane, be better for her."

Jane was taken aback; she had never heard the older man speak with such emotion. She knew that he loved Maura but she had no idea how much regret, how many thoughts he harboured.

"Ok Paddy I think you know how this is gonna go. Whether you leave without me or try to evade me or something, you know that I'm gonna find my way to her. So right now, I don't care whether you wanna deal with this yourself, I am coming with you and we are gonna save her together. Don't think I won't do whatever it takes to get to her. So let's go."

Paddy watched as Jane struggled to stand and slowly make her way to the front door. He knew that there was no other way to get to Maura than to take Jane with him. Perhaps they would be able to devise a plan where Jane might stay out of the line of fire while Paddy dealt with Jack.

The older man walked out of the house and sat in the drivers seat, waiting for Jane to limp down the driveway and into the passenger seat. He knew the any help he offered her would be rejected and taken as an insult, as a doubting of her abilities.

Eventually she makes it into the car and he can see in her face how tired and hurt she is.

"So lets go."

Maura moved slowly carefully through the house, not knowing if anything or anyone awaited her. The sun was setting and it was beginning to get harder to see the finer details of things around her. She looked for a piece of mail or something that might be able to tell her where she was.

She saw some suitcases in the corner of the room. They were both filled with Jack's clothes. And then, as she was looking for some of her things, everything fell into place and she figured out the plan that her husband had concocted. He wouldn't need any of her things, and neither would she. He was planning to leave this house alone and leaving her here forever. That was why he called Paddy.

"That idiot."

Maura grabbed one of the jackets in the suitcase. She tucked the gun into her pants after replacing the and making sure to turn the safety on. There was a mobile phone on the table and after she turned it on and found that it didn't require a password she slipped it into her back pocket. She looked for something that might allow her to restrain Jack but she couldn't see what he had used on her previously and she didn't want to stay around to look.

She decided that leaving via a back door would be a better idea than taking the risk of being seen from the front and leaving herself vulnerable. When she was finally outside she couldn't help but take a moment to realise how much she had missed the sun on her skin and fresh air in her lungs. For weeks all she had known was shadows and musty air. In front of her was the outskirt of a forest and she could see the dirt road that led to the house.

Night was beginning to fall so Maura thought her best option would be to head into the woods and see if she couldn't camp out for a couple of hours until the darkness might completely cover her.

She found a small ditch in the ground that was covered by some felled trees, but still allowed her to be able to pay attention to those things around her. Just before she lay down to hide and, if she got lucky, sleep, she took the gun from her pants and turned the safety off. She put it next to her head and tried her very best to close her eyes and see Jane's face.