A/N: OK, there's a fair few feels in here, but (hopefully) enough hope to counter-act any major feels damage... maybe. I think. I hope.
Anyway, I wanted to take the chance to thank everyone who's reviewed, favorited, followed, or just plain read this increasingly long and rambling fic. Honestly guys, it gives me a little lift that I sometimes need in a day – so thanks loads! Love you all!
"No, no, no," a murmured whisper in the night, "Get away, get away!"
Tony blinked back sleep, "Hmmm...Loki...?" he muttered.
"Get away, get away!" arms flailing now, Tony dodging to avoid getting smacked in the face.
"No, no, no."
Tony looked into eyes that weren't seeing his, open but not truly awake, only semi-conscious at best. He wrapped his arms around Loki. Loki struggled, but Tony held firm. He considered waking the Omega, but thought he'd read somewhere that the best thing to do with night terrors was to let the sufferer ride it out without waking up. He hoped whoever said that had been damned right about their shit.
"Please no, please no – PLEASE!"
"I got you baby, don't worry, I got you," he tried to lace his words with care, winding his body around Loki's, hoping he was emitting the right hormones to placate rather than stress – he had to keep calm and keep his shit straight, no matter how distressing this was.
"We have to run – we've got to run," Loki wriggled again, trying to get out of the bed. "You can't take him from me. No, no – Tony! Run Tony, please run! RUN!"
Loki was stretching his arm out in front of him, beseeching, eyes wide. Tony kept his arms around his lover, holding him firmly but gently, too scared to let him get out of the bed in case he hurt himself. He could feel Loki's heart beating beneath his thin pyjamas, terrified.
"I don't... please... Tony, please run, he'll kill you. I love you – run! Just run! RUN Tony! Leave me – just run and leave me – it's you he's after! I love you! RUN ALPHA! Please Tony, run! I love you. I love you! Please Tony, I love you."
"Shhh baby, I've got you. I'm fine, you're fine, everybody's fine. I'm here baby. I love you Loki, I love you."
Clammy with sweat, frightened eyes running with tears, Loki's breathing started to steady. He still trembled.
Tony held him close, perhaps trembling a little himself, "It's OK baby," he whispered, "I've got you. It's me, it's Tony. I'm here, I'm safe, I'll take care of you. I love you baby."
"Do you think Omega Services could help?" Tony said, looking over his glass at Phil, eyes tired.
"They're probably your best bet," Coulson answered, thinking. "They'll be able to... examine him... anyway. And they have support groups Tony, and resources – not as many resources as they deserve, or need, but still... they know how to care for Omegas – Loki's far from the first to be abused by an Alpha, and they have methods which might help."
"But Loki's not even human."
Phil nodded, "There's an Omega clinic that Shield uses for... specialist cases – apart from anything else it'll stop the papparazzi from catching wind. This is one event I'm guessing you'd rather keep private. They also have Shield scientists to fall back on if they find themselves out of their depth with Loki."
"Can you set it up?"
"Sure, I'll make you an appointment for the day after the fourteen-day mark, so..." thinking again, doing the maths, "about four days' time? He should be out of heat then, so they'll be able to get a better grasp of where he's at... physically and emotionally."
Tony nodded and sipped his drink, "OK, but I'm going to run it by him," he said, "he's the one in control of his life – not me. No Alpha is going to make decisions without his permission ever again."
Phil grinned and narrowed his eyes, leaning back and assessing Tony knowingly, "You got it bad," he smiled, "I'm surprised you're not writing love songs and quoting sonnets."
"He still can't really remember you Phil," Tony mused, ignoring the agent's ribbing, "he knows that he knows you, but... its like watching someone try to remember their own birth or something. He knows it happened, he just can't put the pieces together."
Phil shrugged, "It's not like it was a particularly pleasant experience for me either," he replied, face darkening just slightly, "if only I'd known he was Omega. My God," he shook his head, "I can't imagine being suppressed," a shudder. "I can forgive him Tony, easily; it's Odin I can't forgive – and the Chitauri of course. We can't pretend that Loki was playing with a full deck, mentally, since way back at that moment when Odin took him from his room at the start of his first heat. I can't hold him responsible for his actions any more than Cap can blame Bucky Barnes for the things Hydra had him do."
Loki was dozing in front of the TV, teddy bear in his arms. The gaps between coupling were growing, allowing him more time to rest and recover in between. He still clung to his bear like it were far more than simply a child's toy comprised of fabric wrapped around stuffing – but Tony had told him he had nothing to be ashamed of. His teddy bear was comfort – baby-sized in his arms, providing a soothing trick for his demanding hormones, and allowing him some relief and ease. Otherwise his mind would start to dwell on real children – warm and soft and needed: and quite possibly never to exist.
He didn't know if what Odin had done had affected his ability to conceive – but it had certainly affected his ability to bare children. He couldn't even accept a knot without pain; a baby was unthinkable. He took his contraceptive every morning without fail – glad that Tony had thought of the necessity.
For now, he had this, the second heat of his life, to get through. Tony had discussed the prospect of moving in together afterwards – something that Loki wanted more than anything he had ever longed for. He had Tony, he had the prospect of reconciliation with Thor – he had life waiting for him. And as much as he wanted it, it was also a little... frightening. He didn't really know who he was as a person... and there were suddenly all these plans for the future, and people who actually seemed to care for him. He didn't want to let them down.
He reached out for that part of himself that was, at its primal base, Omega. It still surprised him when, instead of meeting harsh magical barriers, like steel bands around his essence, he was able to embrace the whole of himself – to be able to truly think without having his thoughts warped by the magic constricting him. He could begin to consider what he felt, instead of what he was, falsely, being made to feel.
Omegas could be male or female, but they would only ever feel love or sexual attraction for an Alpha: it was in their biology, their souls – and Alphas were all male. Odin's attempts to match him with Beta princesses or tempt him with Beta whores were destined to fail, no matter the magical pressure. He remembered his confusion, his pain in response to the false, implanted, feelings being rejected by a part of himself he could not even reach – much less understand. A Beta male was not who he was – and it still stung that his father could not accept that and had instead chosen to do untold damage to his own son. That feeling of not being quite whole was gone – he was Loki now: he just needed to figure out who that was. At least now he had a chance to do so.
He knew a few things about himself – Loki was an Omega. Loki loved Tony Stark, a kind and loving Alpha who had once been his enemy, in what now felt like another man's life. Loki liked trashy TV, and cuddling his lover, and chatting to the Son of Cole (even if he couldn't remember how he had known the man before.) Loki was going to figure it all out... somehow. He would get back up and keep going, and Loki was not alone this time.
He laughed a little at the TV – more precisely, the ridiculous poofy skirt on a wedding gown that a blushing Beta bride was trying on. She looked like a giant marshmallow. He automatically turned to talk to Tony, and then remembered Tony was still having a drink with Phil. Oh well, he'd tell him later. Pity he couldn't show him – the thing was truly horrendous, and Tony would've got a good laugh out of it. He liked to hear Tony's laugh – it made him feel like everything would be alright.