CHAPTER II
Pressure"We're lost" I sigh wearily, looking out to the blackness of the night shining in the light of the car. Tiny flies were darting across the beams like criminals escaping capture and a beautiful bright full Moon was hanging like a pendant in the sky, and where were we? Lost.
"We are not lost." Octavia, defensive as always, protests.
"Admit it, we're lost"
"Nope, we are exactly where we need to be" she's determined to be right isn't she? She might as well be a man.
"Oh? And where is that?"
All that can be seen is a long dark road edged by bushes bare in the coming winter. The only light was coming from the car. I did not like this, not one bit. Chapters like this NEVER end well. I'm half expecting a demon or death-eater to jump out at us from the night.
"On time" she mutters, a strange reply. She's so obviously as clueless as I.
"I said where not when." Why do I always end up stating the obvious with her,
"What time is it, anyway?" I turn my gaze to the door window, all I can see are empty trees and the small, flickering light of stars in the sky.
"It's 8:30"
"So what you're telling me is we've been driving for an HOUR AND A HALF?! WE LEFT AT SEVEN!"
"Yeah and this is why! Besides WE have not been driving. I have been driving, you've been sitting there griping at me."
Her reply seemed bitchy, but she looked pretty satisfied with herself.
"Okay, I'm sorry" my voice softens, taking an apologetic tone, "I'm just nervous"
"Why on earth are you nervous Nove? What is there to be nervous about?" her tone is edged with anger and exasperation.
"Well, driving happily down an unknown road in the dark, at night sure isn't my favourite activity!" I answer, my voice laced thickly with sarcasm, "No... it's the party...you know... people. The thought of it just makes me..."
"Eugh, THIS again? Grow up, Nove! It's pathetic! You can't stay like this your whole life!"
At these times, Octavia really doesn't feel like my best friend any more. Aren't best friends meant to accept you for who you are and help you? Aren't best friends not meant to judge you and criticise your flaws? Iwish she could understand. I wish I could explain. At these times I hate myself for questioning our friendship, but I wish she could see how much it hurts me when she reacts like this. How much it hurts me, kills me when I see that look in her eyes. The look that says You're a freak.
It kills me.
Silence has fallen flat across the car, the air thick with it, plagued with it. It stretches on for hours as I watch the world blur past me behind the window. The feeling it almost so tangible I could reach out and touch it. I longed to reach out and smash the silence that is building between walls us, if only I had the strength to say something.
Hours later, a blinding bright light illuminated the dark car and suddenly a mechanical drone broke the heavy silence that filled the car.
"You have reached your destination" The Sat-Nav tells us.
"What? I don't see anything" Octavia rings out, squinting her eyes into the distance. I mirror her actions.
"Wait, look there" I point at a sign in the distance.
"Oh yeah, what does it say?"
I squint harder.
"Shadowfax. We're here" I reply, less relieved than worried, "Now we need to find Ashthorn Manor"
"Shouldn't be too hard. Listen" an impish grin itched at her cheeks.
I listened through the silence for what she was talking about. Faintly, the bass line of some party music -dubstep probably- could be heard sounding from across the village. From that direction, lights flashed sporadically in the sky like artificial northern lights.
"Great. Towards a night of shitty music, drives November." I groan at the prospect of my evening out, while Octavia's grin only broadens.
"I told you. I'm the one driving."
I roll my eyes at her once more.
The car's wheels crunch on the gravel as it makes its way up the driveway, making a horrible, grating sound which doesn't help my leaping stomach. Octavia parks the car before a large, regal looking abode a little out of the way of the village centre. The house towers above me, built with large French-style balcony windows stretching across the walls and rouge bricks; looks like it's teleported straight from an episode of Downtown Abbey. She twists the rear-view mirror towards her to check her make-up and hair again and I wonder how she can be so at ease, excited even, at the prospect of this party. My body is going haywire at the thought. The people, oh all the people; unknown people, daunting people who could do anything, be anything. People who laugh, who mock.
People who don't know me.
My heart is racing. The anxiety wraps its iron claws around my lungs, locking me in a death-grip so I can't breathe. I swallow the feeling, pushing it down, down to my stomach as my vision blurs. She can't see, she can't know, can't witness my inner melt down. I can't see that look in her eyes again.
It's fine. It's fine. You're fine. They'll be people you know. Look you're not even inside yet, stop it, you're being silly. What's the worst that could happen? Look, Octavia's with you, it will be all fine. Just Breathe. Breathe.
I steady myself and get out of the car, I start for a moment before remembering that my keys were in my bra and Octavia has my phone. I look for her at the other side of the car as she goes about making a show of getting out. I roll my eyes and stomp over to her around the car, the gravel crunching beneath my boots.
"Hate to disappoint but there's no one out here to see Octavia" I say to her, my fear lacing my voice with angst. Though I may seem angry, it does a good job of hiding my fear from her.
"Doesn't matter, for a true actress, the world's a stage" she puts on an air of melodrama but is soon overtaken with fits of excitement; and she calls me he fangirl, "I'm so excited! Aren't you excited!?"
She's practically bouncing with it.
"Yeah, of course I am," I lie, "Remind me, why did he have the party all the way out here again?"
"Oh, well this is Aiden's Dad's home and he let him use it for the party, since it's so big"
"His Dad must be loaded" My voice stretches as my neck strains upwards to gaze upon the impressive structure, lights flashed from inside the closed curtains and the bass line was quite clear now. Yes, dubstep, great.
"Na, it was passed down to him" Octavia said impatiently, "Now can we please go in already!? I'm freezing out here!"
She makes a show out of shivering to display the fact.
"That would be because you have more body parts exposed than you do covered up"
"Whatever, just come on" She stomps towards the massive, red front door and raises her hand to knock. My heart plummets again and I feel fear beginning to stab with its icy blade at my stomach, as the deep thrum of the knock on the wood beats right through me, jabbing at my core. The anxiety beats like a second heart in my chest and grips with iron claws around my lungs and I find myself struggling to breathe again.
Why did I agree to this?
I strain to keep myself from hyperventilating but my breaths become shorter and quicker. My knuckles a death-pale, tightly holding one another in front of me. Tears well up in my eyes and I look up desperately to keep them at bay.
I see the Moon, silent, white and shining benevolently above me, like a silent watcher. The sight captures me and allows my breathes to deepen and my fears to dissolve ever so slightly, I manage even a small smile. Recollecting myself, I turn my gaze to Octavia , who is stood boldly in front of the door, looking impatiently at the knocker.
She is here. It will be fine. Relax.
I repeat it like a mantra, drilling it into my brain again and again to keep the fear at bay, and it works. I'm okay.
Then it happens. The door swings open to reveal a tall, 19 year old boy with shoulder length dark hair and eyes that emeralds envy, leaning casually against the door frame.
"Hey, Octavia, glad you could make it. I'm Alexander"