The next time was just as bad, if a little different. Seemingly nothing had happened to trigger it, but it was only a few nights later. They had agreed it would be best if they continued sleeping at Ianto's flat, and Ianto had literally left the flat for ten minutes to go buy some more coffee. When he returned, Jack was lying on the sofa, barely breathing and deathly pale. He shook like he was freezing cold, and there were tear tracks on his cheeks. Dropping the coffee on the counter, Ianto ran over to him.
The Welshman touched Jack's face. There was no response. "Ohhh, no," he murmured. "Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left. Okay, I'm here now." He sat on the couch, pulling Jack into his lap. Jack whimpered, sounding very young, and Ianto held him close. "Jack, talk to me. You alright?"
Jack let out another small sound of distress. He wasn't gasping and sobbing like he had been last time, just unresponsive and limp.
Ianto began to sing softly. It was an old song in Welsh. He had forgotten where he had learned it. It was a lullaby of sorts, and he knew that Jack wouldn't understand any of the words, even if he could hear Ianto. But it was a very soothing sounding tune, and Ianto's voice trailed off as it ended. It was ten o'clock, and he was tired. It was a few minutes later (though it felt like several hours) when Jack cried out quietly, jolting Ianto back out of his half-asleep state. Ianto released him as he struggled to sit up, moving to the side slightly so he had some space.
"Ianto?!" Jack exclaimed, looking around.
Ianto took his hand, guiding Jack's gaze over. "I'm right here."
"Oh." Jack sighed heavily, and sank down so he was lying across Ianto's lap. "Sorry," he murmured.
"It's okay," Ianto reassured. He rested his hand on Jack's hair, running his fingers through it gently. "What-what happened, Jack? Why did you pass out?"
Jack shook his head, burying his face downwards on Ianto's thigh.
Ianto waited for a second, but then he realized that there was no rise and fall of Jack's back to indicate his breathing. "Jack, hey, you've got to breathe, okay?" he prompted. There was no response other than a slight shiver. He sighed. "Come on, Jack, you have to breathe. Please. You're not suffocating yourself on my leg. Come on, talk to me a little. Jack. Jack. Come on."
Jack turned his head slightly and started breathing again.
"There we go. Now, are you going to talk to me?" coaxed Ianto.
"Mmhmm."
Smiling just a little, Ianto added, "Are you going to say any more that that?"
Jack rolled over onto his back so he could look at Ianto. "What more do you want me to say?"
"You could start by answering the questions I already asked."
"I don't know."
"So...you don't know what happened, or you don't know why you blacked out?"
"Yes."
Ianto snorted. "That was helpful. Jack…how am I supposed to know how to help you if I don't know what causes this? We thought it was being in small, dark spaces, but obviously that's not quite it."
"I dunno, I'm not a psychologist," Jack muttered.
"Well, neither am I. But we can't very well consult one-"
"I wasn't suggesting it," interrupted Jack.
"-because even if there was one that we could tell about Torchwood, it's not as if anyone has any experience with someone who spent two thousand years buried alive," Ianto finished.
"It's not like anyone could help, anyway."
Ianto felt a twinge of annoyance. Unfounded, perhaps, but irritation all the same, at Jack's remark. "Am I not helping at all?"
"That wasn't what I meant."
"Wasn't it?"
"Ianto!" Jack protested, sitting up. "That wasn't what I meant. You are helping, you...you're helping just by being here. Just by existing, by...by being here when I open my eyes, and if I...if I didn't…" He seemed to be struggling to put his thoughts into words. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you here. I just...I just don't know." Tears were springing to Jack's eyes. He blinked them away angrily, frustrated at his own weakness.
"Okay," whispered Ianto. "Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't want to...I'm sorry. I just...I don't like feeling helpless. And I do right now, I really do, because I want to know how to help and I don't, and...I'm just sorry."
"Don't be sorry, please don't be sorry. You're helping more than you could imagine, but I don't think...I don't think I can be fixed. I'm just broken, Ianto." Jack's voice cracked. Ianto held his arms out wordlessly, and Jack fell back into them, lying across his lap yet again. "Broken and useless, something shattered into so many pieces that it's not even worth trying to put back together."
"But I am not going to stop trying," Ianto whispered fiercely. "And don't you give up, don't you dare give up, Captain Jack Harkness. I won't let you."
"Thank you," Jack whispered back. They stayed there, Ianto slowly tracing circles on Jack's back and arm with the palm of his hand until he could feel the captain calming down and eventually falling asleep. Ianto kept watch for another hour or so, before joining Jack in sleep.
It seemed like people appreciated the first chapter, so here's another. And by seemed, I mean it got lots of follows but very few reviews...I really feel like I'm being bossy and forward by asking, but...please review? I genuinely want to know what you thought of my story and what you didn't and what to do/not do in the future. I write for me but I write for you, too! Thanks, and I love you all!