Strange Dreams

A/N: Trigger warning- flashback to sexual abuse, not very detailed. I'm not particularly fond of the idea of forcing someone to go to sleep using manipulation and telepathy as both Vastra and the Doctor have done in the series. I kinda take my frustration about it out on Vastra in this chapter (or rather I have Jenny do so on my behalf). Fanfic is how I process these things….

~.~.~.~.~

Jenny was surrounded by circles of various shapes and sizes, all over lapping. They shrank and became more distant, yet also became brighter until they all looked like stars. Jenny was swimming among the stars. She found herself pulled toward a binary system, then to a red planet orbiting the two stars. The closer she came to the planet, the more she could admire its bold color. She flew toward the planet and slowly floated toward the surface. There were people here. She could tell by the buildings. The architecture was so unique and beautiful. A large bubbled citadel could be seen in the distance. Whoever these people were they clearly valued aesthetics. She saw silver trees blazing in the light of two suns. She saw children running about on top of red grass and laughing. Some were dancing around a maypole. All of the people were dressed in varying shades of red. As the tip of her feet was about to touch the red grass great explosions went off in the distance. The children screamed. The planet became dark.

Jenny immediately sat up in the bed and looked around to reacquaint herself to her surroundings. She could not remember going to bedroom. The Silurian was no longer there. It was a rare occurrence that Jenny found herself alone in bed. She usually awoke before the lizard.

She tried to remember how she got to the bedroom, and what she was doing the day before. She pulled off the covers and stood from the bed. She discovered she was still in her maid uniform and thought that was peculiar. She always changed before bed.

She recalled being in the bedroom with red walls yesterday. She remembered the writing, adding to it, and knew that her work was not done. Something had interrupted that work. She felt she needed to return. She walked down the hallway and tried to enter the room, but found that the door was locked. Locking doors in the Victorian home was sometimes done to keep Strax or visitors away from the more dangerous items located in the vault and the lab, but it was rarely done to keep Jenny out, as she was such a talented lock pick anyway. Jenny looked at the lock, it was clearly something beyond the technology of Victorian London. A purple glow emanated from the inside. Perhaps this was one of Vastra's recovered Silurian items. It would not be easily picked. Jenny violently punched the door in frustration.

The noise alerted the Silurian, who then rushed toward it.

"Jenny!" She greeted kindly "I'm glad to see you have awoken, are you feeling alright?" she asked, still concerned about the fever and obsessive behavior regarding the room with the writing.

"I'm fine," Jenny responded distantly.

The Silurian could tell from the tone that Jenny was not fine. The smaller woman was glaring at her. She allowed for a moment of silence as she tried to assess Jenny. "Are you cross with me?" she asked.

Jenny looked away and crossed her arms. She leaned against the door she had previously been banging on.

"It was you. You interrupted my work." Jenny accused.

"Yes," the green lady admitted. "You were not well. You were not in a healthy state of mind."

"I don't care!" Jenny shouted uncharacteristically. This surprised the Silurian. Her wife had never raised her voice at her before. Jenny usually used sarcasm to deflect any offense rather than outwardly express such anger. In fact she couldn't recall a time where Jenny had ever raised her voice.

"Jenny, please, tell me what is wrong" Vastra said calmly.

"You are to never again render me unconscious against my will." Jenny said with a huff while looking Vastra directly in her eyes.

"I- I was worried for you. I couldn't communicate with you. I could barely reach you telepathically." Vastra defended, confused about how her actions had so offended her wife.

"That is not what this is about."

"It's not?"

"No."

"Please, tell me what this is about then."

Jenny shook. "You used your power to control me".

"I…what?"

"I was in a vulnerable state. You used your greater strength and expertise with telepathy to manipulate my mind and body; to render me helpless"

An image of the man who had falsely claimed to be Jenny's uncle was briefly projected into Vastra's mind, until Jenny again broke the connection.

Vastra's mouth gaped open. "Jenny, Jenny, you're not thinking I would…"

"You took away my control of my own body. You coerced me to sleep and put me to bed."

Vastra was stunned as she listened to Jenny's interpretation of what had occurred the night before. "I am so sorry Jenny. I only wished to help".

Jenny flinched, and ignored a tear that was gathering at the corner of her eye. The Silurian waited for a response.

"He would say that too… that he was helping… that he was curing me" Jenny eventually replied bitterly.

Jenny had so rarely discussed the abuse she endured from her uncle. Vastra was not aware of many of the details. "I didn't know that," the green lady quietly admitted. The act of putting her wife to sleep had seemed so innocent at the time, yet clearly it had triggered something deep within her lover. She wanted to hold Jenny, to provide her comfort. Yet she at least understood that touch could further trigger Jenny at this time. "Please, tell me what you need from me."

"A promise, that you will never do that again unless I expressly give you permission."

"I promise," Vastra responded solemnly, giving Jenny direct eye contact.

Jenny nodded her head in acceptance.

"What shall I do then, if you are not communicating with me."

"Just let it play out." Jenny suggested.

"Even if you are working yourself into fever, as you were last night".

"Yes, Vastra," Jenny affirmed as her thoughts returned to the Gallifreyan writings. "I need to do this. I need to understand. I need to see where this is leading me."

"Alright," Vastra acquiesced. Though she wondered if Jenny was even aware of what she was writing. Did she somehow learn to both read and write the Gallifreyan language, or was she somehow being entranced only to complete a message that was not even meant for her.

"Will you unlock it for me, or shall I retrieve my kit," Jenny asked.

"I will unlock it," Vastra agreed. "I just hope, for your own health, that you eat something before returning to this room. She gave Jenny a pleading look.

"Alright". Jenny went to the kitchen and quickly prepared herself some eggs and toast. By the time she returned the room was open and Vastra was elsewhere. Jenny had to find herself another piece of chalk and the original one had been nearly completely used up. Jenny found the part of the wall she had been working on yesterday and continued writing.

It had been several hours, and Vastra found herself getting quite concerned again. She walked past the bedroom where Jenny was still marking all over the floors and walls. In fact at some point the young woman had procured a ladder and started on the ceiling as well. Vastra was curious as to whether Jenny was as entranced this time as she was before. She attempted to get her wife's attention to no avail. Knowing Jenny wished to be undisturbed, she decided to check back later.

Before Vastra was to prepare for bed, she walked by the room again to check on the progress of her wife. The door was closed this time. The Silurian's sensitive ears picked up on soft scratching at the other side, indicating that Jenny was now writing directly on the other side of the door. Vastra sighed with the understanding that she would be having another restless night's sleep without the comfort of her wife's warm body next to her.

When the lizard awoke in the morning, the first thing she did was check on her wife. Jenny was again working on the ceiling. Her tired body swaying with exhaustion on top of the ladder. This was clearly unsafe. Yet Jenny kept at it and continued to ignore any attempt to get her attention.

"A blast bomb would get the boy's attention" Strax suggested. The blast bomb procured a loud noise that would temporarily deafen anyone within a 3 kilometer radius. It did little else. Those who used it enjoyed the advantage of having one sense over their enemies.

"We are not using a blast bomb in this house" Vastra informed the Sontaran.

The conversation was interrupted by a loud thud above them. At least the thud was loud to Vastra's sensitive ears. The Sontaran couldn't hear it at all. Vastra quickly ran up the stairs and entered the bedroom. She found an unconscious Jenny sprawled on the floor beneath the ladder. She must have fallen from it. Vastra kneeled by the petite body of her wife and loudly called Jenny's name. She did not awaken.

The lack of consciousness was likely due to exhaustion rather than the fall itself. Vastra knew that Jenny's Gallifreyan heritage would mean that her body was much stronger and resilient than that of a human's. She was not likely to suffer from a concussion or neck injury from that short of a fall.

From the angle it appeared that Jenny may have landed on her head. Vastra carefully lifted her wife's form and set her on the nearest bed, the one in the same room. Before having the woman lay down completely, the lizard checked the back of Jenny's head for bruising. There was some mild bruising. The woman would likely suffer from a head ache when she woke up. Otherwise she would be fine- with the exception of her likely continued obsession with this room and the writing.

In any case, Vastra was determined to be there when her wife awoke. She sat in a chair by the bed and vigilantly watched Jenny's sleeping form.

Jenny again dreamt of the red planet. This time she was in the citadel of Arcadia, floating above the chaos as Daleks and their giant ships descended from the heavens. People dressed in red ran in fear. Mechanized weapons shooting lasers of red and green in every direction, walls obliterated and buildings collapsed. In her position there was nothing she could do to prevent the slaughter. She helplessly floated above while witnessing Daleks gather families of people and exterminating them, murdering the innocents. Again she heard the screams of children before the world beneath her went dark.

Jenny woke with a start and sat up in the bed. The sudden movement alerted the Silurian.

"What is it, Jenny?" Vastra asked.

"Strange dreams," Jenny responded.

"What about?" the green lady asked her wife, hopeful that the woman would now communicate with her.

Jenny hesitated as she tried to remember "A red planet that goes dark". Vastra recognized that the red planet must be Gallifrey, the home world of the Time Lords. She waited quietly for Jenny to elaborate, but she didn't. Jenny looked around the room at the writing now overlapping itself on the walls, ceiling, and floor, "Why am I in this room?" the brown haired woman asked.

"You fell from the ladder while writing on the ceiling". Vastra reminded her.

"I wrote this?" Jenny marveled, "But it's in Gallifreyan".

"Yes, you wrote much of it, especially the part on the ceiling. You don't remember?"

"Vaguely, I s'pose"

"You don't feel the urge to keep writing, do you?" Vastra asked hopefully.

"No, no urge to keep writing" Jenny confirmed.

Vastra sighed, releasing some of her built up tension. She was glad to have Jenny speaking with her again, and relieved that she was done with marking up the room. "Can you read any of it?" the green lady asked.

Jenny looked again and tried to open her mind to the symbols and circles on the ceiling. "Gallifreyan works differently than other written languages" she remarked, surprising even herself. Vastra listened aptly as Jenny struggled to explain. "It is not… phonic. The circles trigger certain points in the Gallifreyan brain sharing pictures, emotion, and sounds from the writer directly into the reader's mind. That's why it doesn't translate. In a sense it is like telepathy; sharing a moment directly with the author. In such a way very comprehensive information from one moment can be shared across time and space. It is a very efficient form of communication."

"Fascinating!" Vastra responded. "So, does it 'trigger' your brain?"

"Well, it shouldn't, should it?" Jenny shifted uncomfortably, "I'm human, right?"

Vastra pursed her lips together, uncertain how much longer she could keep Jenny's secret, even from her. It probably was safer for the woman to believe she was human. Probably better for her to feel as though she belonged here on earth, rather than on a world that was lost. Safer not to know she was the daughter of the Doctor, who so many believed to be a dangerous man and who had so many enemies.

"You wrote it. You don't know what it means?"

Jenny took another look around the room.

Vastra feared she may regret asking. She didn't want to push Jenny into another trance-like state.

As she gazed at the circles overlapping circles images flooded Jenny's mind. A red planet, a wooden barn, a war, explosions, the untempered schism, cities falling, people running. The planet's disappearance. She felt an immense sadness, guilt, and loneliness. The words "Gallifrey is gone" repeated over and over said with several different voices, many incarnations of the Doctor.

She also saw her own story, mixed in with the story of the lost planet. Created not born as a soldier on Messaline using the Doctor's DNA. Chased by the Master much of her life, of which she is already in the third incarnation. Her lost memories of the asylum, the chasm, the eldest of the demon gods, and her second regeneration.

All of this information coming into Jenny's mind overwhelmed her. Yet there were reassurances all over the wall as well. "I am here". These words recurred with multiple voices as well, some of them the Doctors' some of them hers. Both of hers. She heard the voice of her previous reincarnations; the blond soldier and the child who never got to be a child.

While Jenny was reacting to this information overload, her breathing became erratic. Her eyes widened in fear, seconds later she was squinting in pain. Vastra watched, uncertain what to do. "Jenny," the green lady called, "It's alright, stop reading," she told her. Yet Jenny again could not acknowledge her. The Silurian moved from the chair to sit on the bed with her fitful lover and wrapped her in her arms. "Jenny, please, come back to me," Vastra begged. Jenny continued to shake. "Jenny, it's alright, I am here" Vastra said.

For Jenny, Vastra's voice blended in with the others continuously saying "I am here".

"I am here," Jenny quietly repeated.

Vastra smiled when she heard her wife's voice again. "I am here," Vastra said again with encouragement.

Jenny remained in Vastra's arms as she allowed herself to relax against her wife and opened her eyes to see Vastra's green face, wrinkled with concern, peering into her eyes.

"What happened?" the Silurian asked.

Jenny looked at her lover quizzically, uncertain how to answer the question. She reached out with her mind instead "It would be easier to show you," she told her telepathically. Vastra accepted the contact and felt the familiar comfort of the tendrils Jenny's mind touching hers. Jenny shared the experience of receiving all the information at once from the Gallifreyan writing. Of seeing the images of the red planet that then disappeared, and of remembering her own genealogy and history.

"That is a lot to take in all at once" Vastra affirmed outloud.

Jenny simply nodded in agreement.