CHAPTER IV

Lost and Found

My head twists and turns in every direction, searching for a familiar golden explosion of hair and soon my head is swimming in the water that is glazing my eyes, distorting my vision. Once panic sets I know that they'll be do turning back, no way out, so I continue my search pointlessly. In reality, I know she's gone. My thoughts race to keep apace with my beating heart, trying to formulate a plan, a direction, a way to escape the anxiety that's flooding my soul. Anything that will save me from my current situation. Then, like noise through water, a voice pulls me out of my agony.

"Hey, hey...hey...You okay?"

It's Alexander. Of all people, it is he who pulled me from the deep vortex of my swarming thoughts. The main contributor to my stress himself, how ironic. Though, I'll allow, it's not only him. It just then dawns on me that he has asked me a question. A question requires a reply, generally. As this realisation seeps through my storm of thoughts I try to snap my brain to attention, and perhaps articulate a reasonable reply. I inevitably fail as I stammer,

"Er-er...eerm. Yeah! Yea...of-of course I a-am"

Yep, failed. My attempt at sounding nonchalant and jovial only amplified my weak stuttering and caused the expression of concern that had set in Alexander's face to deepen. Which caused my worry to begin to spin again. Though, strangely, he doesn't press me for an answer. The curiosity of his reaction intrigued me enough to bring me away from my anxiety a bit, distracting me. No one reacts like this. They ask, they press, they badger me for answers. And when I can't give one, they begin to treat me as they would a lost child, triggering anger to rumble like thunder within my stomach, raging a violent storm with the torrent of anxiety pouring through my veins.

In this moment, I had expected Alexander to suggest something along the lines of "Why don't we find your friends?" or "Let's call Octavia, how about that?". The latter ending in an awkward conversation involving an stammered and unrecognisable explanation, on my part, of where my phone is currently and why we can't use it.

But Alexander does none of this. Instead, he casually says,

"So, know anybody else here tonight?"

Normal. He's treating like I'm...normal. Like every body else. I can't remember a time where, in this situation, I haven't looked up to see a thousand eyes staring at me, all saying telling me one thing. You're a freak. You're not right. Some thing's wrong with you. Which only ever ended with my footsteps, running for the door.

But now, my feet are planted firmly on the laminate flooring beneath me. And my stomach is experiencing the oddest feeling, it's...settling. My thoughts are returning to my control. Could this simple act of treating me like every body else, while my mind is a ripping tornado of thoughts and flood of erratic emotions, spiralling order away from my grasp, be calming me down? My gaze settles on his eyes, emerald like a quiet sea, and the world stops spinning.

"Yes" the sound of my voice, breaking through my thoughts, surprises me. It is steady and calm, without stutter or drawl, "A couple, actually"

"Well" he doesn't hesitate to reply, a gleeful smile on his face as he puts on a mock air of decorum and triviality, "Allow me to offer myself as your humble escort, my lady"

He finishes the act with an expertly performed bow, complete with a flourish of the wrist which ends in the offering of his arm. The performance provokes an unexpected laugh to sound from my throat, which only encourages his display, as his smile broadens and soon he is laughing with me.

"I thank you, kind Sir" I begin to reply, putting on my most cordial manner of speaking and 'lady-like' posture (those years of ballet training weren't for nothing, after all), "If you would be so good as to escort me to my friends" I finish with a small and precise curtsy, which wouldn't have looked quite so strange had I been wearing a skirt, then finally look back up to his eyes, now dancing with amusement.

"Shall we begin?" he turns his body to face the doorway, which is set a little farther back in the wall behind him, while keeping his head towards me. I move to follow, though electing to pass on his arm. Though potentially amusing and probable fun I do have some dignity intact, and we would have looked quite a strange pair. Worse, somebody could've mistaken us for a couple; an impossibility and serious maim to his image.

He looks on an leads me through the open door and into the party beyond, I am remember exactly where I am once more.

In the room there is music playing -dubstep, louder and clearer now than ever- and someone installed colour changing lighting which is causing the light to appear like it's flashing from outdoors.

Red. Blue. Green. Pink. Yellow. Orange. Purple.

It darkens the room enough for my presence to become significantly less noticeable, particularly owing to my fashion choice of black, my also makes navigation problematic and suddenly my gratitude for Alexander's aid increases. It is a long, rectangular room, the colour of the walls indiscernible in the current lighting but the wealth is obvious even without. There is modern artwork decking long, right hand wall and a thick, plush, cream carpet beneath my feet. On the back wall, farthest from me and seemingly where Alexander is leading me, there is a door, standing ajar, hugging the left corner. On the same wall on the opposing side is a magnificent flat screen television -presumably HD- opposite which is a stretched, L-shaped fluffy sofa that makes me ache for some DVDs, popcorn and my Pjs for a Harry Potter marathon. There is also a glass coffee table, currently housing empty cups, at in front of said sofa and a sparsely stacked bookcase beside the TV; causing a small itch of annoyance to spike through me.

But these things I noticed later, as I was trying to weave my way through the room on my feet without losing sight of Alexander -who, to his credit, kept checking over his shoulder for me- the first and blindingly, unavoidably obvious thing I saw upon entering the room, was people.

Many, many people. Girls, guys, all around my age expecting a creeper in the back, staring sickeningly at the girl with pink and blue highlights in her hair that I assume brought him. But people.

Standing, talking, laughing, (what they call) dancing, drinking, breathing.

People.

My heart took flight with the wings of a frightful bird in my chest again and my eyes began to flit about the room. But no, this time I was prepared and it wasn't enough to distract me this time. I dealt with this level of panic regularly at school, I was an expert. So I focused on the back of Alexander's head as he began to move through the crowd. The people, inexplicably, moved out of the way for him. A few nodding, smiling, saying 'Hey'. He makes it look easy.

This barely set off my radar though, as I was focused on weaving a path through after the people who had just moved out of Alexander's way, moved back again, blocking my path.

Keeping my head low, eyes cast down apart from when they were fixed on Alexander's hair, I moved through the room. And, miraculously, I didn't trip or make a fool out of myself some other way. The door was a metre away now and the people had cleared, meaning that Alexander now stood slightly ahead of me waiting to fall into step.

"You good?" he asked, nonchalant but I could still sense some concern in his tone.

Was I that obvious?

"Yeah, I'm fine" I answer honestly, and we continue walking through the door to the next room, which was, it turned out, a staircase (an entire room for a staircase, this place was fancy). Which we began climbing, one always keeping pace with the another. This time, it's me who initiates the conversation.

"So, what did you come as?" I realised that I had forgotten to ask for his costume, caught up in all my inner commotion. Now, looking him up and down trying to figure it out, I became increasingly curious. He was wearing plain, scruffy deep denim jeans with a grey fitted shirt and black converse.

"Oh" he started in surprise, "I'm Harry Potter" as he said this he scooped back his dark fringe that was hanging over his forehead -in the classic Potter style- to reveal a lightning bolt scar drawn just off-centre on his forehead on in red ink.

"Wow" I chuckle, "You look more like book Harry than Daniel Radcliffe does!" I'm not even joking, he really does look like Harry in the books.

Unruly black hair, green eyes, scruffy clothes, he fits the bill perfectly, minus the glasses.

"I know!" his eyes light up with delight at my comment, "It was written in the stars, pre-destined by the Gods" I can't hold back my laughter at this dramatic display.

"Tell that to the directors"

"I will" he affirms, his demeanour serious until he turns his head and looks at me, meeting my eyes and smiling innocently.

Silence walks beside us for the next steps and this time I find that I'm not stressing over whether I need to keep the conversation going; the atmosphere in the air between us is calm and easy, almost happy and I find myself smiling at this realisation. I had never been so comfortable with such a perfect stranger.

"What are your friends' names?" Alexander inquires as we reach the third landing of the turning staircase.

"Darcy, Katelyn and Caleb"

"Aiden actually introduced me to them earlier" he begins, ambling towards a door to the left of the landing, "They were in here"

He opens the door with his left hand, his back to it so he's facing me, and gestures for me to walk in.

I take my time, looking about myself as I walk into the new room. It is noticeably smaller, square like, and there are no colour-changing lights in here, just a basic white light, shining from the ceiling. The walls are a dull white , accented with grey and green furniture; a grey love-seat pushed against the wall, decked with green pillows and a white, wooden coffee table sat in front of it. In the opposite corner sat a white table with grey chairs seated around it, a vase of yellow flowers centring the table. Again, some modern art piece was on the right hand wall and a built in display case was set in the wall behind the open door with some photo frames and knick-knacks placed happily upon it. I let out a sigh as I took in my surroundings, appreciating the change of setting. There were substantially less people in this room, it was mostly full of people that I know, acquaintances of mine, friends of friends that sometimes hung out with us, but my attention was immediately caught by three people that gathered by the sofa. I was greeted with smiles and exclamations as I walked over, Alexander closing the door behind us and following.

"Novie!" Katelyn exclaims, pulling me into a hug, "You made it! You look amazing!" she smiles excitedly, eyes widening in amazement at my costume and I finally felt happy with myself, even glad that I had come. I returned her embrace before looking to my other friends, Darcy and Caleb.

Caleb's arm had returned where it was lounged around Katelyn's shoulders and Darcy stood on Katelyn's other side, looking glad that I had arrived to relieve her from her post of third-wheel.

The five of us -including Octavia- all went to the same school so hung out together regularly and knew each other well. This year, Katelyn and I were in the same Psychology class so we had become closer, before it was too hard to get her away from Caleb for long enough to become really close. She and Caleb had been together since year 11 and were -admittedly- a very cute couple. Tonight, they had come together as Red Riding Hood and the Huntsman (I wasn't going to be the one to point out that Red Riding Hood was a little girl, and had no romantic involvement with the Huntsman). A cute couple though they were, this didn't make being along with just the two of them less awkward and slightly nauseating for the third. Usually -there being five of us- there is little danger of this happening, but tonight Octavia was absent.

Octavia had flitted off who knows where, drinking who knows what with, well, who knows.

As ifreading my thoughts, Darcy asked,

"Where's Octavia? You came with her, right?"

"Yeah I did" I answer, "But I lost her after I came in"

"She left you!?" Caleb cried in outrage. Darcy, Katelyn and Caleb all knew of my little...issue, so hearing that Octavia had left me alone at the party naturally sparked the anger.

"Er...yeah, I guess" I avert my eyes as I answer, feeling like I'd just told on Octavia to a teacher.

"I'm going to kill her!" shouted Katelyn

"You'll have to find her first" Darcy muttered, and my thoughts tracked back to the tall boy who was now lingering behind me, "Are you okay though, November?"

Before I could think to reply, a familiar voice rung out from behind.

"Don't worry, I saw to it she found her way to you" Alexander said proudly.

I didn't think I would ever forget the astounded looks that spread across my friends' faces. Their mouths hung slightly open, their eyes wide and all of them were too dumbstruck to speak for a moment, a truly rare sight. I had to hold myself back from laughing, though I couldn't keep the delight from my eyes.

"Guys" I said, "Erm...this is Alexander"

At my words my friends all seemed to snap back to reality, very aware that I was introducing them to someone. And a boy at that. They all seemed suddenly wary and suspicious, taking a protective stance about me. Whether I knew Alexander was no threat or not, this warmed my heart a bit. My friends protecting me, ready to defend me from the people I generally see as threats. The people that generally pick me out as an easy target. Boys.

But this time was different.

"Alexander, huh" Caleb scowled at him, "The guy who's mates with Aiden, I've heard about you" he moves closer toward him, arm dropping from Katelyn's shoulder and crossing in front of him in a dominant pose. Ready for the interrogation. Worry set into my bones, Alexander had helped me, even comforted me when Octavia had left me alone in a unknown place, where she knew I was scared and helpless. My friends needed to know that. Darcy shuffled so that she was standing closer to me.

Darcy was probably my closest friend. While Octavia still filled the role of Best Friend -she wasn't always like this- she failed to see what I saw and understand me in ways that Darcy did. She didn't even try. So I had stopped trying. Trying to explain to her my feelings of regret, of anxiety, of fear and worry. Trying to make her accept me the way I am. It was never going to happen. Darcy, on the other hand, was different. We had met in year 10 when she had moved into the College adjoining the High School that Octavia and I had moved from. That year we had had English together, which Octavia was in too, so we hadn't grown as close as we are now for another year yet. But in year 11, as Octavia began to change and prefer to mingle with outsiders than stay by my side, Darcy and I had connected.

It turned out that we were a lot alike. We both adored reading and loved the same books. Harry Potter, The Mortal Instruments and more. So we now exchange books on a regular basis. In fact, the book I was currently reading I got at her recommendation. We both liked to write as well, so helped eachother out when we were stuck, even co-authoring a Once Upon a Time -which we were both obsessed with- fanfiction. We also both shared a general dislike of people and were frequently uncomfortable in social situations so sought comfort in one another as our friends branched out.

So it was no surprise when Darcy, while Caleb and Katelyn assumed defence, edged closer to me. Tonight she was dressed up -at my suggestion- in a Pirate costume, with a billowing white shirt, stomach corset, boots, hat and all. She was even wearing eyeliner -an unusual and rare sight for Darcy. She was Captain Hook or Killian Jones from Once Upon a Time. And she was killing it. Now, she looked up at me uncertainly, as if asking "Could this be real? What happened?"

It was time to explain.

"Guys, don't worry about Alexander's. He's alright, in fact..." and I launched into the whole story; how Octavia vanished, leaving me alone with Alexander, anxious and not knowing where to go, and how Alexander had -in a sense- come to the rescue, without sounding like a weak damsel in distress in need of saving, snapped me out of my inner meltdown (though this I skirted around, brushing over the subject and not really going into just how much of a mess I was) and lead my through the crowds and unknown hallways, to here. To my friends, my salvation.

As I had finished narrating the tale, I sighed heavily with relief. A weight off my chest. The look on my friends' faces were dumbstruck again. In awe of the story and how I of all people had become sort-of friends with a perfect stranger. A perfect stranger who was male. Alexander was beaming stupidly at the story and I was quickly embarrassed at how I had just effectively sung his praises, massaged his ego a bit -though he didn't seem like that kind of guy- he actually seemed... proud?

Why would he be proud? Why is he so happy? Why did I just make myself seem so weak?

Darcy was looking at me with a face that said "Is this all true? Did this really happen?" and I smile in reply, affirming the validity of the story.

And then they were all warmth and embrace, showing Alexander with appraisal and gratitude. Alexander was quite taken aback at their sudden change in demeanour but took it in his stride and was soon in an animated discussion with Katelyn and Caleb on how Red Riding Hood and the Huntsman were not a couple and asking if they had come as their OTP or favourite ship.

Ship. OTP. Where had this guy come from.

I couldn't help smiling at the sight stupidly of my friends, now including Alexander, grouped together in an absurd debate on the legitimacy of Red Riding Hood and Huntsman's relationship. Laughing as they exchanged witty remarks. Alexander seemed to just click with her group, even Darcy now entered into the conversation and soon they were all smile and laughter. I looked across my friends and smiled, feeling comforted, accepted and warm inside. At home.

Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all?