We sat at the table at school together the next day. Ah yes, school. The prison in which my morbid personality is contained in a world where, ironically, other people host a yearly election of queen (mixing democracy and monarchy, even more ironically) that is judged based on beauty rather than intellect. In fact, I saw at least four of Mindy's campaign posters on the way to the café. Mindy stood watch as her poor puppy-dog eyed boy toys handed out cupcakes. I mean, even I like cupcakes, in the right flavor, but how does one change another's opinion based on cupcakes? This is why democracy and school don't mix.
"Jeez, Mindy. You're the student body president, soon to be prom queen, and competing in the talent show. Can't you leave something for the little guys?" I mumbled to myself. Mindy walked over, handing me and Billy each a cupcake.
"Hey, guys. Ooh, Mandy. I love your shoes. They would look great on me." Oh good. I'll torch them tonight. "Nobody else is competing. What little guys?" Mindy asked.
"They would if they thought they stood a chance." I said under my breath.
"How sweet!" Mindy said. She took out another cupcake. "This one's on the house. But don't forget to vote for me."
"What's this for?" I demanded.
"For being so brave as to compete with me in the talent show. I mean, like you said, you don't stand a chance." Mindy smiled sweetly.
"You know what, Mindy?" I asked, standing up and taking the cupcake. "This cupcake, like my shoes apparently, would look better on you." and then I smooshed the cupcake right on Mindy's perfect little face. Somebody shouted 'food fight!' from behind me and sparked the best time I had ever had at this school. By the end of it, I was covered in pasta and mashed potatoes, and I had no clue what I just stepped in. Yep. Definitely torching the shoes now.
"Who's responsible for this?" The principle demanded.
"It was Mandy!" Mindy shouted, wiping who-knows-what off her face.
"You little B-" I knew better than to finish that sentence with the principal standing right there. I was dragged by one ear to the principal's office and sat in the chair.
"Mandy. What were you thinking? You started a food fight and now the café is condemned for the day." The principal said. Worth it. I thought. "You will spend your evening today scraping pudding off the wall. And, you will not be able to compete in the battle of the bands."
"No! Billy's counting on me. I can't flake now. Please, I'll clean the café, but don't take the talent show away." I begged.
"Very well. What were you planning on doing this Saturday during prom?" she asked.
"Sit at home, make fun of Meg Ryan movies. Why?"
"Thought so. You seem misanthropic enough to not enjoy prom. Accordingly, your punishment will be that you must join the party planning commitee as Mindy and plan prom. As a member, you must also participate in prom. Buy a dress, get a limo, find a date, is that a deal, Mandy?"
"Yes." Oh the irony. Kill me now please?