So I woke up today like any other morning the sun was still shining, the birds were still singing, the world didn't blow up, and to any outside stranger they would see nothing wrong just a man waking up next to his fiance and now expecting mother. But there was something wrong, in fact everything was wrong these sheets were not black and white, there were curtains blocking the sunlight, the walls were not a plain smooth white, and there certainly wasn't any Dan. Oh Dan my wonderful boyfriend that I miss so much, or should he say ex-boyfriend now?

No I refuse to say that. We are not exes we are past lovers and now we will be back to the way we were, best friends. The way that fate intended our relationship to be, strictly platonic but you see... I don't want our relationship to be strictly platonic. I wanted to be able to make love to Dan, hug him for more then two seconds, holding his hands for no reason, and even just be able to tell him I love him one more time, because I loves Dan so much and it tears my heart knowing all the self-esteem I was able to put into Dan was gone all because I had to knock her up like a fucking twat.

But I couldn't possibly leave Emily to be on her own. I had to face up to my mistakes even if it means breaking Dan's heart but it's okay. I might always dream about Dan every single time I'm asleep, and he will always be in the back of my mind and when I'm all alone I will always replay every single moment I had with Dan and think about all the little yet obvious signs that Dan had loved him so much from the beginning and how I wished I would have known sooner and maybe then none of this would have happened. That Dan will always be strong because he always is, even when he's dealing with his own issues he always comforts me. He is strong enough to deal with the heartbreak he was always so much stronger than me.

Dan will of course fall in love again. Maybe this time with someone who won't screw it up and Dan will get his happily ever after or maybe they will and he will fall again only to jump back better as ever. But either way Dan will get his happily ever after eventually. He will get married move to London become one of the best YouTubers out there with his husband supporting him every second of the way. Then maybe... he will write a book or even go to Japan because he has always wanted to go there. Of course Dan will get to do it all because he deserves it all. He deserves the world and I failed him, so for punishment I will stay in this life I created for myself the one I always thought I wanted before I went and fell in love with my best friend. Going to work everyday in a nine to five job, then coming home to a wife and child with dinner on the table, maybe a second one on the way.

But now all I want is to have Dan back. Unfortunately for me it's too late for any of that now. I already made up my mind now I have to keep it. I have to just deal with it... I just have to.

Although I may not be able to see him in person without him telling me to leave. I will still definitely watch every single one of his videos and I always press the like button and that will be good enough.

Then I suddenly got a text rudely awakening me from my thoughts. I glanced over at Emily making sure the obnoxious noise didn't wake her up, luckily it didn't I really didn't want to talk to her. Before grabbing my phone and seeing it was from Dan my heart stopped even though it was a simple one word question, why?

I typed back a response as quickly as I could because, I just had too. It took Dan seven minutes to type back but hey who's counting?

I know I shouldn't but I still love you.

my breath hitched before I typed faster then I think I ever have before, I love you too.

then it took another thirteen minutes for him to reply with just two words come back. I glanced down at my screen then glanced over at my Fiance then at her stomach where my child was. I bit my fingers should I really be doing this? Do I want to break her heart right after I broke Dan's. They say follow your heart but is it really so easy? Should I really just leave her? Can I just leave her? That's not fair she didn't ask for this baby, but neither did you my conscious said.

"Fucking hell" I whispered under my breath before grabbing my jacket and swiftly leaving my house. I was only going there to to make sure he knows I have responsibilities now, I will still love him but he has to move on maybe I stay five minutes or... the rest of my life. I don't know anymore I will just wait until I get there.

A/N: hey guys so.. I'm not quite sure what to do I was planning on this whole spectacular ending with around twenty chapters before it actually ends but for some reason I feel like I want this to be the ending I like the whole ending and I like how the reader gets to interpret the ending from here what exactly do they talk about do they get back together right there? do they get back together all? do they scream and yell at each other? do they sit down civilized and talk calmly before going into a mutual agreement? what happened to the baby? do they have and keep it? miscarriage? adoption?...abortion? whatever you want the ending to be it's your unless you want me to write an ending and then... i dont know we will see