CHAPTER XI

Goodbye

By the time we reach the entrance, after walking in silence through endless corridors -that made me realise that I would have never found my way out, or anywhere, without help- I'm resolved and ready to say goodbye to the place, to say goodbye to my brief adventure with fiction, but I couldn't bring it to myself to say goodbye to Emma, to Julian... to Ekain. So, when we reach the doors, I say to Tiberius:

"When you see your brother, and Emma and a boy that will be with them. Would you tell them I said goodbye? And thank you?"

"I can. But why don't you do that yourself?" he asks in earnest.

"Because.. because I've never been good at conversing, at dealing with people. And right now, it's just too hard to say goodbye"

He had an expression on his face that said that he didn't understand, by thankfully he dropped the issue and accepted it. Just before I leave, my hand resting on the handle of the large, ornate wooden doors, I turn to him.

"Thank you, Tiberius. And goodbye"

I open the heavy doors and exit before I give him the chance to say anything and even to see the expression on his face and whether he said goodbye back. It's cold outside, a biting cold and I am suddenly increasingly grateful for Emma's hoodie. I pull it closer around me with the hand that isn't clutching the pile of my clothes to my side. I walk forwards into the daylight, finding it mid-morning with the Sun sitting aloft in the blue, autumn sky. I'm walking in what appears to be the grounds surrounding a church. A stoned pathway is beneath my feet, beside a dew-dropped expanse of vivid, green grass scattered with ageing headstones. I look back to see not the Institute, but an abandoned church. The glamour has returned to my vision. The life, that world now forever veiled from me.
I continue walking, head down, towards the street where I knew Darcy would pull up upon seeing me. I look up at the cloudless blue sky, not even bothering to raise my hand to shield my squinting eyes from the harshly bright Sun. That way, if anyone happens to glance at my face, they'll just assume the tears forming at the corners of my eyes are from the brightness of the Sun, never knowing, never even guessing at the truth. I stop at the edge of the curb, prepared to stand and wait patiently for her to arrive, battling the rising storm of thoughts threatening to rage in my head.
I was stood there, waiting in the cold, my breath visibly rising in the air before me, for a couple minutes, when I heard a shout, a shout of my name, from around me.

"November!"

I look up and ahead, expecting to see Darcy driving towards me in her car, window down and shouting for me. But she's not there. I look around and quickly realise that it wasn't her voice I heard, when a heavy hand closes over my right shoulder. Firmly clasping me it in his warm, steady hand. I realise who's voice it was, always calling out to me.

"November"

I turn around and see Ekain, breathless behind me, his hair ruffled by the wind and his clothes slightly rumpled. He appeared to have ran from inside the Institute. How far, I didn't know. But from what I knew of the interior of the Institute. It could have well been miles.

"Ekain..." I didn't know what to say to him. Why did he follow me?

"Tiberius. He found us. He told us you said goodbye, and thank you.. You're not... you're not leaving?" he says, seeming reluctant to believe what he was told.

"What Tiberius said was true. I am leaving" I reply softly.

"But, but you can't just leave" he protests.

"I can, and I am"

"But, November, the rune. You need to find out why..."

"No I don't, and I don't need to stay"

"Yes you do!" he shouts back, anger swelling his voice. I feel my own anger rising to the surface.

"For what? To find out everything I've ever known is a lie!? Why should I? I have a life, I have friends, even a possible future waiting for me... I know how these things work out. I've read the books. Know the stories. The hero always finds out everything she's ever been told is a lie. The hero always loses something, somebody. And I've lost enough. I don't have much, but I have enough. What I have is safe, sure. Unlike your world, your life"

"That's fiction November! You have no idea what it's really like!"

"Oh really? Because I'm not sure what's fiction and what's reality any more! And tell me honestly, what reason have I to stay?"

"The truth. Surely some part of you is itching to know the truth, who you really are? What better reason is there to stay?"

"From what I've learnt, some truths are better left buried. Or written in books..."

My words ring with finality, I look up at him, prepared to say a final goodbye, but I just can't bring myself to. My mouth can't form the words I take in his face, handsome and distressed, his hair dishevelled, committing his emerald eyes, flared with anger and sorrow, forever to memory.
A familiar car catches my eye from the corner of my vision, the bright orange of the bonnet flashing in the sunlight. And I run. Even before the car reaches the street, I run for the car, seeing it stop as Darcy sees me. Echoing the events of last night, behind my back I hear someone shout.

"You can't deny you're own blood November! From what I've learnt, blood will out"

Ekain's voice thunders through my ears, reaching, pulling at my heart. But I don't turn back.

I open the car door, get in and look straight ahead as Darcy turns and drives away.